Umxholo
- Uthando alulingani nesondo
- Ke yintoni ukusondelelana?
- Yintoni isondo ngoko?
- Imiba yokuthandana kunye nokwabelana ngesondo
“Ukwabelana ngesondo inokuba lolona phawu lusondeleyo noluthandekayo, kodwa siyazikhohlisa nje xa sisenza ngokungathi isini sibubungqina bothando. Amadoda amaninzi kakhulu afuna isini njengobungqina bothando; baninzi kakhulu abantu basetyhini abanike isondo ngethemba lothando. Siphila kwihlabathi labasebenzisi apho sihlukumeza omnye nomnye ukuthomalalisa iintlungu zodwa. Sonke siyakulangazelela ukusondelelana, kwaye ukudibana ngokwasemzimbeni kunokubonakala njengokuthandana, okomzuzwana. ” (McManus, Erwin; Iminqweno yomphefumlo, 2008)
Uninzi luye lwaphatha ngesandla ukubhala malunga noku kungasentla. Andizukuba nobuganga bokuthabathela phantsi isixa esikhulu semisebenzi yoncwadi (eyintsomi kunye nenganyanzelekanga) ngomxholo wothando, ukusondelelana kunye okanye isondo. Kwanele ukutsho, eli nqaku libhalelwe ukukunceda ufumane ukuqonda okucacileyo kwezi ntetho ngokwazo. Ndiza kuzama inkcazo emfutshane yothando, ukusondelelana, kunye nokwabelana ngesondo. Ndiza kukushiya wenze isigqibo malunga nokuba zeziphi iimfuno zakho. Kodwa kuqala, ukukhanya kweendaba! Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uthande umntu olala naye kwaye akufuneki ube sondelelana nomntu ngaphambi kokuba ulale naye. Into ekufuneka uyichaze ngokucacileyo kwaye uyichonge yile nto uyifunayo okanye oyifunayo kubudlelwane. Kufuneka ube nengqondo ecacileyo ukuya kubudlelwane obusondeleyo bomntu. Ndiyakholelwa kubudlelwane obuqhutywa yinjongo.
Uthando alulingani nesondo
Uthando, ngokuchasene nento abantu abaninzi abakholelwa kuyo, alulinganisi isini nothando. Oku kuyalahlekisa ngazo zonke iindlela. Uthando lubeka nje umbingelelo owenzela omnye umntu. Kwirekhodi, asithethi nge-erotica (inguqulelo yaseHollywood) yothando. Sithetha ngenkathalo, ukukhulisa, ukunika kunye nokwamkela okunikwe ngabantu omnye komnye ukutyhubela iminyaka.
Ke yintoni ukusondelelana?
Ngeenjongo zethu, masichaze ukusondelelana njengemeko yokuba 'kubudlelwane'. Uyabona, ukusondelelana sisenzi (into esiyenzayo): "kukwazisa". Yiyo loo nto ukusondelelana kukwakha kancinci apho abantu ababini ngabom bazivumela ukuba babenomngcipheko omnye komnye. Banika omnye nomnye ukufikelela kubucukubhede obunobunkunkqele kunye nokusebenza kweendawo zabo ezinokuthi zigcinwe zifihlakele kwabanye. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, aba bantu bayabelana kwaye bazise omnye komnye ngeencoko kunye neencoko ngamaphupha abo, uloyiko, ithemba kunye neminqweno. Xa umntu ngamnye kubudlelwane ebuyekeza ngendlela efanayo eyakha ukuzithemba kunye nokwenza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye. Bakhulisa ukusondelelana kwaye babelana ngemvakalelo yokuba ngabakhe. Benza iqonga kwaye bakha iqonga apho ngamnye wabo eziva ekhuselekile kwaye ekhuselekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba azityhile, anike kwaye afumane, athembele kwaye azive eqinisekisiwe. Ubusondeleyo yinkqubo eyenzekayo kwaye yakha ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ayinamanzi kwaye ayimanga.
Yintoni isondo ngoko?
Ngesondo? Ukwabelana ngesondo, kwelinye icala, kubonakala ngathi kunqunyulwe kwaye komile. Kodwa ngaba kunjalo? Ngeyona ndlela imnene, isondo yinto nje yokuphuma yesidingo sethu sokwanelisa umnqweno wethu wezilwanyana ngenjongo yokufezekisa i-orgasm kumadoda nabafazi. Ngelixa abantu abaninzi belinganisa isondo kunye nabantu ababini abalala kunye, isini sinokwenziwa ngumntu omnye njengoko kusenziwa isenzo sokuphulula amalungu esini. Kubalulekile ukwahlula phakathi kwabantu ukuba babelane ngesondo kunye nokuqhutywa kwesilwanyana ukuze utsibe omnye komnye ekwenzeni uthando, isenzo esinobuchule kunye nobuthathaka sokwenza into eyonwabisayo neyabelana ngesondo kunye. Ngokwam, njengendoda, ndicinga ukuba lilungelo xa iqabane lakho likuvumela ukuba ungene kwindawo yabo yomzimba. Ndiyaqonda ngokulinganayo ukuba uninzi lwabantu lubelana ngesondo, ngesondo. Ngeliphandle, oko kukushiya ungonelisekanga kwaye ungonelisekanga.
Imiba yokuthandana kunye nokwabelana ngesondo
Kuyo yonke iminyaka yam yokwalusa nasemva kokuziqhelanisa nomsebenzi wam njengonyango, enye yemicimbi ebalaseleyo ejongene nabathengi bam yimicimbi yokuthandana kunye nokwabelana ngesondo. Okona kubalulekileyo, uninzi lwezibini ziyabhideka enye kwenye kwaye le iba lelinye lawona maqhina anzima ukuyikhulula. Amaqhina kuba okoko nje zombini izithako ezisisiseko zolwalamano olunentsingiselo kunye nokuzibophelela zingacaciswanga ngokucacileyo, esi sibini sizifumana sisokola. Isiphumo esihlala rhoqo kukungathembeki.
Ukuqonda ukuba kuthabatha ixesha kunye nomzamo othembekileyo wokuthemba omnye umntu ngabo bonke abantu bethu, iba ngumceli mngeni xa sifumanisa ukuba iinzame zethu azibuyiswanga ngokwaneleyo kwaye nethemba lethu lingcatshiwe. Yiyo loo nto, iintlungu zoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo oluba kukungathembeki. Ukungathembeki, ukubeka ngokulula kuxa elinye iqela lishenxela okanye lishenxa kwiindlela zobudlelwane obonwabisayo nobuzinzileyo. Uninzi lwethu luye lwachonga ukungathembeki kwimeko yokwabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kobudlelwane obubonakalayo. Kukho kwakhona, isondo; Kuyathakazelisa ukuba kunqabile ukuba sijonge oyena nobangela wokungathembeki endaweni yokuziphosa kulomsindo qho kusenzeka.