Umxholo
- 1. Unyango olufumana ukuqonda
- 2. Ingcebiso ngonxibelelwano
- 3. Unyango lokuncamathisela
- 4. Iingcebiso ngezibini zengqondo
- 5. Indlela kaGottman yonyango lwezibini
- 6. Unyango olusulungekileyo lwengqondo kwizibini ezitshatileyo
Umtshato bubudlelwane obuntsonkothileyo. Isibini ngasinye sihlangabezana neendlela ezininzi ngexesha lomtshato. Abanye bayaboyisa ngokwabo kwaye abanye bafuna uncedo lwangaphandle oluncinci. Abo balwa nobudlelwane babo kodwa bengafumani sisombululo kwiingxaki zabo banokufuna uncedo kubacebisi ngemitshato. Abacebisi ngomtshato banobuchule bokuchonga iingxaki kubudlelwane; Banokunceda izibini ukukhangela, ukufumanisa kunye nokususa imiqobo ebangela iingxaki kulwalamano lwabo. Oku, nangona kunjalo, kukwenza okungaphezulu kokufanelekileyo kokucebisa ngomtshato. Ukuba bekulula kangako, izibini ezijamelene neengxaki kubudlelwane bazo bezinokuya entlanganisweni yabacebisi, ebezakuthi bafumanise kwaye banyange iingxaki zabo, kwaye ngekhe kubekho nabuphi na ubudlelwane obuqhekekileyo okanye uqhawulo-mtshato!
Ukuba uzimisele ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho kwaye ufuna ukufuna uncedo kumcebisi womtshato, into yokuqala ekufuneka uyenzile kukufumana indlela yokufumana iingcebiso eya kukulungela. Inyathelo lesibini kukufumana umcebisi olungileyo osebenzisa ukhetho lwakho lwendlela yokucebisa. Inkqubo engafanelekanga yokucebisa okanye umcebisi ongenamandla angenza iingxaki zomtshato wakho zibe zibi ngakumbi. Kukho iimeko apho izibini, phantsi kolwalathiso olungalunganga oluye lwaphetha lwadala ibala lomlo kwiofisi yonyango, lakhupha izinto ezinobungozi ngokuchasene kwaye zaqhuba ubudlelwane bazo ukuya esiphelweni.
Yonke ingxaki yomtshato yahlukile, wonke umntu emtshatweni wahlukile kwaye ke ngoko zonke iindlela zokucebisa ngomtshato azisebenzi kuzo zonke izibini. Nalu uluhlu lweendlela zonyango ezisetyenziselwa ukunyanga iingxaki zobudlelwane.
1. Unyango olufumana ukuqonda
Izibini, ezineengxabano rhoqo, zixinanisa ubudlelwane bazo ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba abakwazi ukujonga iingxaki zabo ngokucacileyo. Bahlala benomsindo kumntu ngamnye kwaye ingqumbo yabo iyaqhubeka nokukhula. Emva kwenqaku lexesha umlo wabo awunanjongo kwaye konke bakuphumeza oko kukuthi, ukugxeka nokukhombana ngeminwe.
Ezo zibini kufuneka zifune umcebisi womtshato osebenzisa ukuqonda ukufumana unyango. Ngale ndlela, umcebisi ufunda ngokunxibelelana kwesi sibini, indlela yabo yokuphila kunye nolwalamano lwabo ngokuchanekileyo. Umcebisi uqokelela idatha malunga nokuqhubeka phakathi kwesi sibini kwaye uzama ukuchonga oyena nobangela, oyena nobangela wengxabano yabo. Ke, yenza isicwangciso malunga nokuba ubacebisa njani, indlela yokusombulula ingxaki yabo kunye nendlela yokuphucula indlela yokunxibelelana.
2. Ingcebiso ngonxibelelwano
Ingxaki yonxibelelwano sesinye sezizathu eziphambili ezibangela ukuba izibini zihlukane. Kukho izibini ezingazichaziyo iimvakalelo zazo ngokwenyani ngenxa yokwesaba ukugculelwa okanye ukwenza amaqabane abo abe nomsindo okanye angonwabi. Nangona oku kungabangeli nakuphi na ukungqubana ngamazwi okanye umlo, oko kudala umgama weemvakalelo phakathi kwesi sibini.
Abacebisi abagxile kunxibelelwano bafaneleke kakhulu kwezi zibini. Bafundisa abantu abatshatileyo ukuba kutheni bechaza iimvakalelo zabo kumaqabane abo kubalulekile kulwalamano lwabo kunye nendlela yokuthetha ngokuchanekileyo, ukuze bangalimazi, bacaphukise okanye bacaphukise amaqabane abo. Bayanceda ukuvuselela inkqubo yokunxibelelana kwesi sibini kwaye bazalise ukungabikho komoya wolwalamano lwabo.
3. Unyango lokuncamathisela
Abantu abatshatileyo ixesha elide bahlala belahlekelwa luthando kunye nothando kubudlelwane babo.Umgama ngokweemvakalelo phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo ngamanye amaxesha uyakhula ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba babe madolw 'anzima ngokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zabo. Banoloyiko lokuba iimvakalelo zabo ezisenyongweni azizukuqinisekiswa okanye ziyakwaliwa ngamaqabane abo, baziva behlekisa ngokuvuma ezo mvakalelo kungoko bengenzi njalo.
Kwimeko enjalo unyango lokuncamathisela lunokuba luncedo ekufumaneni amaqabane kufutshane. Olu nyango lukhuthaza amaqabane ukuba athethe omnye komnye malunga neemvakalelo zabucala kakhulu, kwanezinto ezingenamsebenzi kwaye ezingabalulekanga. Olu tshintshiselwano lweemvakalelo luyanceda ekuvuseleleni ezothando kubudlelwane kunye nokomeleza unxibelelwano phakathi kwesi sibini.
4. Iingcebiso ngezibini zengqondo
Xa elinye okanye omabini amaqabane esenza ngokungathandabuzekiyo kubudlelwane, ungquzulwano luya kwenzeka. Isizathu sokuziphatha ngokungenangqondo okanye ukungasebenzi kakuhle kunokuba ngamava angathandekiyo ebuntwaneni okanye ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo. Aba bantu baneembono ezigqwethekileyo malunga nolwalamano lwabo kwaye ngenxa yoko abanakho ukuphendula ngokusesikweni ngalo lonke ixesha.
Umcebisi we-psychodynamic unokunceda abantu abanjalo ngokuchonga indlela abaziphethe ngayo kunye nokucacisa isizathu sokuziphatha okungaqhelekanga kunye nokucebisa umntu ochaphazelekayo kunye neqabane labo malunga nokulungisa loo nto kunye nokuba nomtshato ongcono.
5. Indlela kaGottman yonyango lwezibini
Ukungaqondani kwakhona kudala umahluko phakathi kwesibini kwaye kunzima ukuba izibini zisombulule ngokwazo. Indlela kaGottman yonyango lwezibini inokusebenza kakhulu kubo. Ngale ndlela, izibini zenzelwe ukwenza imephu yolonwabo lwabo, usizi, amaxhala, amaxhala kunye nethemba lomnye nomnye. Oku kubanceda baqondane ngcono kwaye bacime ukungaqondani okubangele ukungavisisani kubudlelwane babo. Oku kwenza izibini zibonane ngokukhanya okutsha kwaye zonyusa ukuxabisa kunye nentlonipho kubudlelwane babo.
6. Unyango olusulungekileyo lwengqondo kwizibini ezitshatileyo
Kubudlelwane bexesha elide imincili kunye nemincili ngamanye amaxesha iyabuna kwaye izibini ziyalibala ukuba zithamsanqa kangakanani ukuba neqabane elinenkathalo nelizinzileyo. Unyango olusulungekileyo lwengqondo linceda izibini ukuba zikhumbule, zamkele kwaye zamkele izinto ezintle ezenzeka kubudlelwane babo bemihla ngemihla. Kolu nyango umcebisi wenza ukuba abatshatileyo babhale izinto ezibenza bancume kwaye bazive bonwabile ngosuku. Oku kwenza ukuba izibini zizive zilungile kwaye kubuyise ukonwaba kulwalamano lwabo.
Ezi zezinye zeendlela ezisebenzayo zokucebisa ngomtshato ezinokunceda izibini zichonge iingxaki kubudlelwane bazo kwaye zinokuzinceda ziphucule ubudlelwane bazo.