Umxholo
- 1. Ngaba niyachitha ixesha elifanelekileyo kunye?
- 2. Usoloko usabelana ngesondo?
- 3. Ngaba iqabane lakho ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni?
- 4. Ngaba niyibekile imida esempilweni (nokuba yeyiphi enye kwenye)?
- 5. Unaso isicwangciso sezemali nomhlala-phantsi esikhoyo?
- 6. wonwabile?
Ukuba umntu ebengakubuza imibuzo yokuvavanya umtshato namhlanje, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba baya kukubuza into emigqeni ye "Ke, wonwabile kulwalamano lwakho?"
Kwaye lo nto ingumbuzo ofanelekileyo (oya kuthi ufike esiphelweni seli nqaku), sicinga ukuba eyona ibaluleke kakhulu kuvavanyo lobudlelwane “Njani usempilweni ngumtshato wakho? ”
Xa umtshato wakho uphilile, oko kuthetha ukuba uphilile, womelele, kwaye wonwabisa nobabini. Kwaye xa ikuloo meko, inokukunceda ngokwasemoyeni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni.
Kungenxa yoko le nto sicinga ukuba kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba izibini zisebenzise izixhobo zokuvavanya umtshato njengokuqhuba uvavanyo lwabo lokuqina lomtshato amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Ngokusisiseko, luthotho lwemibuzo 'yokujonga impilo yomtshato' ekufuneka wena neqabane lakho nizibuze yona ukuze niqiniseke ukuba nobabini niziva ngathi umtshato wenu uhamba kakuhle.
Ukuba awuzange uqhube uvavanyo lobudlelwane obunempilo okanye uvavanyo lwezempilo lomtshato, nalu (malunga) nemizuzu eli-10 yokuvavanywa komzimba wokuqina komzimba esikucebisa ukuba ukwenze wakube ufikile ekhaya uvela emsebenzini ngokuhlwanje okanye ngempelaveki xa unexesha lokuphumla.
Kwimeko apho ulungele olu vavanyo lomtshato?
Masiqalise:
1. Ngaba niyachitha ixesha elifanelekileyo kunye?
Abanye abantu abatshatileyo bacinga ukuba okoko nje belala kunye kunye, bachitha ixesha elisemgangathweni njengesibini. Nangona ngokuqinisekileyo luphawu olusempilweni lomtshato olala kwigumbi elinye, ixesha elisemgangathweni kufuneka liqulathe okungaphezulu kunoko.
Ngaba uya kwimihla (ngaphandle kwabantwana)? Ngaba niyathatha uhambo lokuthandana kunye rhoqo ngonyaka? Ngaba uyaqinisekisa ukuba ubekela bucala ixesha kanye ngeveki ukubukela imovie esofeni okanye ukulungiselela isidlo sangokuhlwa kunye?
Oku umbuzo wovavanyo lomtshato iya kukunceda uqonde ukuba ubeka umtshato wakho kwindawo enye ngaphezulu kwezinye izinto. Ngokuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye neqabane lakho, udlulisa umyalezo wokuba yeyona nto iphambili kuwe- kwaye lelo linyathelo elibalulekileyo kubudlelwane bomtshato.
2. Usoloko usabelana ngesondo?
Nangona ukuhamba ngokwesondo kuyahluka ngokuxhomekeke kubudala besibini, ishedyuli, impilo kunye nokhetho lomntu, ukuba ubandakanyeka ngaphantsi kwamaxesha ali-10 ngonyaka, ubuchwephesha kwinto ethathwa njengomtshato ongabelani ngesondo.
Ukwabelana ngesondo yenye yezona zinto ziphambili malunga nobudlelwane bomtshato obubenza bahluke kubo bonke abanye. Kukudibanisa ngokomoya. Inxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Kwaye, zininzi izibonelelo zomzimba eziza nayo.
Kungenxa yokuba isini sinceda ukonyusa amajoni omzimba, sandise ubhetyebhetye, kunye nokukhulula iimvakalelo zoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo. Akukho mathandabuzo ngayo. Esinye sezibonakaliso ezilungileyo zomtshato ophilileyo sisibini esinobomi besini obuphilileyo kunye obungaguquguqukiyo.
3. Ngaba iqabane lakho ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni?
Nje ukuba utshate, iqabane lakho akufuneki libe kuphela komhlobo onalo; kodwa ukuba ngaba ngowona mhlobo wakho usenyongweni, yinto entle leyo. Oku kuthetha ukuba ngabantu bokuqala okhetha ukuya kubo ngeemvakalelo zakho, amathandabuzo akho kunye noloyiko lwakho, kunye neemfuno zakho zeemvakalelo ngokunjalo.
Ngabantu bokuqala ujonge kubo ukuxhasa kunye nenkuthazo. Zingcebiso zomntu wokuqala ozithathayo (kunye nentlonipho).
Esinye sezibonelelo zokuba ngumhlobo osenyongweni neqabane lakho yinto yokuba inokunceda ekuqinisekiseni umtshato wakho; ngakumbi xa kufikwa kumba wokuphepha imicimbi enokubakho yeemvakalelo.
4. Ngaba niyibekile imida esempilweni (nokuba yeyiphi enye kwenye)?
Ukutshata malunga nokuba "yinto enye" nomnye umntu. Kwangelo xesha linye nangona, akufuneki ize ngeendleko zokuphulukana nobuntu bakho. Inxalenye yoko ibandakanya ukuseta imida esempilweni, nkqu nakubudlelwane bakho bomtshato.
Enye incwadi enokukunceda wenze oko Imida emtshatweni Ngu-Henry Cloud noJohn Townsend. Imida imalunga nembeko kunye nokuhlakulela okubaluleke njengokuthanda iqabane lakho.
5. Unaso isicwangciso sezemali nomhlala-phantsi esikhoyo?
Ukomelela emtshatweni kukwaquka ukomelela ngokwezimali. Ukugcina oko engqondweni, ngaba wena neqabane lakho ninaso isicwangciso sezemali? Inye inokukunceda uphume ematyaleni, ugcine imali, kwaye ugcine amanqaku akho etyala ephezulu? Kuthekani ngomhlala-phantsi?
Ngokupapashwa kwamanqaku nangakumbi ngento yokuba abantu abaninzi kuya kufuneka basebenze ngendlela engaphaya kweminyaka yobudala yomhlala-phantsi, akukho xesha linje ngoku lokubeka izicwangciso endaweni yokuqinisekisa ukuba awungomnye wabo.
6. wonwabile?
Nawuphi na umntu otshatileyo uza kukuxelela ukuba ukutshata ngumsebenzi onzima. Kungenxa yoko le nto kungenakwenzeka ukulindela ukonwaba kubudlelwane bakho konke yexesha.
Kodwa ukuba lumanyano olusempilweni, kuya kufuneka ukuba ufumane amaxesha phantse yonke imihla eya kukwenza uncume, uhleke okanye uhleke kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo akufuneki uzive usoyika, unxunguphele, ungonwabanga okanye ungonwabanga kubudlelwane bakho.
Xa wonwabile emtshatweni wakho, oko kuthetha ukuba uyakwazi ukonwaba, ukoneliseka kunye novuyo kumanyano lwakho. Ukuba ungathi "ewe" xa zizonke, ncuma. Cinga ukuba umtshato wakho uphilile kwaye ulungile!
Jonga impilo yakho yomtshato:
Imibuzo yoQeqesho loMtshato
Siyathemba ukuba uphendule imibuzo kulo mtshato unceda ukuvavanya ngokuthembeka ngangokunokwenzeka. Ukuba emva kokwenza uvavanyo, uziva ngathi wonwabile, wonwabile kwaye uzinzile ubudlelwane neqabane lakho, emva koko siyavuyisana! Ukuba akunjalo, sebenza kwiindawo oziva ufuna uthando kunye nengqwalaselo yakho.
Ungayitshintsha le mibuzo ibe yi iphepha lemibuzo lohlolo lomtshato kumntu oza kutshata kwaye uhlala esokola ngcamango "ngaba ndikulungele ukutshata?"
Ukuba imeko yobudlelwane bakho ibonakala ikhathaza ngokwenene, ungathandabuzi ekubhukeni idinga lakho nonyango. Ngoncedo lwangaphandle oluncinci, kunokwenzeka ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho nibe nako ukuguqula imeko yomtshato wenu ngokupheleleyo. Umnqweno omhle!