Umxholo
- Impilo nomzimba wakhe ziya kutshintsha
- Eyona meko imbi yokucinga
- Nobabini ninemixholo eyahlukeneyo ngekamva
- Konke malunga nomfazi kunye nosana
- Ukwabelana ngesondo kuya kutshintsha ngexesha lokukhulelwa
Le nyaniso kunzima ukuyetyisa, kodwa kuyinyani ukuba ubudlelwane buyatshintsha ngexesha lokukhulelwa, nokuba uyafuna okanye awufuni. Ukuba uziva ukuba ukukhulelwa kubulala ubudlelwane bakho, qhubeka ufunda eli nqaku ngaphambili.
Akukho nto etshintsha umtshato njengebinzana, "Masibe nosana!" Mhlawumbi ubuthetha ngento enokwenzeka ngaphambi kokutshata, kodwa ngoku benikunye kunye okwethutyana, uziva ngathi eli linyathelo elilandelayo.
Kodwa ngaba ulungele iingxaki zobudlelwane ngexesha lokukhulelwa?
Ngethemba, unokuphumla ngokwazi ukuba nabazali abanamava babenengxaki zomtshato ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Xa sithetha ngomtshato kunye nokukhulelwa, abazali baziva benoloyiko kunye noxinzelelo xa becinga ngokongeza omnye umntwana kumxube.
Sisigqibo esikhulu esingazukutshintsha kuphela ubomi bomntu wonke kodwa nomtshato ngokunjalo. Uza kutshintsha njani?
Ke, ukuba ukhulelwe kwaye uneengxaki zokukhulelwa kubudlelwane, awuwedwa. Nokuba awunqweneli loo nto, ngamanye amaxesha, ukukhulelwa kunokutshintsha uthando.
Impilo nomzimba wakhe ziya kutshintsha
Kwangoko, iihomoni ziya kunyuka ngokubonakalayo kumfazi ukulungiselela umzimba wakhe usana, emva koko ukunceda ukuxhasa umntwana. Oku kungamenza azive egula — abanye abantu basetyhini bagula kakhulu — kwaye umzimba wakhe uyakutshintsha.
Olunye utshintsho luya kukhawuleza, kwaye ezinye ziza kuza kancinci. Oku kunokubangela ukuba umfazi azive engakhuselekanga ngaye nangomzimba wakhe, kwaye ukuba uziva engaphilanga, unokuziva engakhuthazeki ukwenza izinto eziqhelekileyo awayezenza ngaphambili.
Ke, xa kuziwa ekukhulelweni nakubudlelwane, oku kunokubangela ubunzima. Ke, apha kuza indima yendoda. Ayilindelwanga ukuba umyeni afezeke, kulindelwe ukuqonda ngakumbi kunye nokuguquguquka okulindelweyo.
Indoda inokufuna ukuthabatha ukungonwabi kwizinto ebezikhathalelwe ngumfazi ngaphambili; ngethemba ukuba angadlula kuyo ngokuchwayita, esazi ukuba kuya kuba yeyethutyana, kwaye kufanelekile.
Eyona meko imbi yokucinga
Kunye neehomoni kunye nomntu omtsha omncinci oza kungena endlwini, umfazi-kwaye ngamanye amaxesha indoda-angaqala ukuthatha imeko enzima yokucinga.
I-inshurensi yobomi ngequbuliso ibalulekile, ukuba kwenzeka into komnye umzali, ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana uyakhathalelwa. Esi sibini siza kuthenga izixhobo zeentsana, kubandakanya isihlalo semoto.
Ukucinga ngengozi yemoto enokubakho, abanye abazali baziva benetyala kwaye bachitha imali eninzi kangangoko ukuze bafumane okona kulungileyo. Oku kunokubulala ulonwabo lokuba nomntwana kwaye kwenziwe esi sibini sigxile kwinto enokuthi ihambe gwenxa ngokukhulelwa okanye umntwana.
Le yenye yeengxaki zomtshato eziphambili ngexesha lokukhulelwa, zona ezo ezinokuzisa iimvakalelo zexesha elide emtshatweni.
Nobabini ninemixholo eyahlukeneyo ngekamva
Mhlawumbi omnye wenu uziva "elungele" eli nyathelo elilandelayo ebomini kunenye. Okanye, mhlawumbi nobabini niyabhabha ngapha nangapha malunga nokuba yile nto niyifunayo. Xa ukhulelwe, awukwazi ukubuyela umva. Kuya kufuneka uye phambili.
Oku kunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo, ngakumbi xa elinye iqabane livuya, elinye elinemixube exubeneyo lisenokungakhululeki ukuthetha nantoni na ngalo.
Oku kunokubangela ukwanda kweemvakalelo zabo, kwaye banokufuna ukuthintela imincili yomnye umntu otshatileyo. Emtshatweni, oku kunokubangela ukungqubana kwaye kukhokelele kwimilo engakumbi.
Konke malunga nomfazi kunye nosana
Kuya kufuneka ukuba uzibuze ukuba ukuba nosana kubutshintsha njani ubudlelwane bakho xa, eyona nto iyinto entle emtshatweni.
Ke, xa ukukhulelwa kungena emtshatweni, kunokuba yinto yonke malunga nomfazi nosana. Umama ufumana lonke ingqalelo, ufumana yonke imibuzo, kwaye kulindeleke ukuba abanye benze zonke izigqibo ezinkulu malunga nokukhulelwa kunye nosana.
Nangona kungumzamo odibeneyo, ngamanye amaxesha umyeni akahoywa. Unokuziva ngathi akabalulekanga, kodwa kunjalo, unendima ebalulekileyo ekudaleni le ntsapho intsha.
Ukuba uziva eshiywe ngaphandle, unokurhoxa okanye abe neemvakalelo ezingalunganga malunga notshintsho lobomi bonke ngokubanzi. Oku kunokubangela imiba emtshatweni; usenokungathethi kwaye emva koko abe lusizi okanye abe nomsindo kuba iimvakalelo zakhe zingaviwa.
Yile ndlela ukukhulelwa kuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane, nokuba ucinga okuncinci. Sukuzoyika ezi ngxaki zokukhulelwa kunye nobudlelwane; Ngapha koko, zama ukubazi ngakumbi, ukuze ukwazi ukujongana nazo ngokufanelekileyo xa zisenzeka.
Ukwabelana ngesondo kuya kutshintsha ngexesha lokukhulelwa
Inye kuphela into malunga nokukhulelwa-ubuncinci kubafazi abaninzi-kukuba ngexesha lokukhulelwa, ukuqhuba kwabo ngesondo kuyanda. Le yinto yehomoni, kunye nemincili yokukhulelwa okutsha kunokukunceda.
Oku kunokunceda umyeni kunye nenkosikazi bazive benxibelelana ngakumbi kwaye bethandana omnye komnye njengoko bechitha ixesha elininzi kunye. Ngelishwa, kamva ekukhulelweni, uninzi lwabasetyhini ngesondo luqhuba kancinci, ngakumbi njengoko izisu zabo zikhula kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zithintela isikhundla esifanelekileyo sesondo. Abasetyhini bathambekele ekubeni bazive benciphile kwaye banamandla amancinci kwisini.
Ezi zezinye zeengxaki zobudlelwane xa ukhulelwe njengoko oku kunokubangela ukuba izibini ziziva zingenanto kwaye zinothando omnye komnye njengoko bechitha ixesha elincinane kunye.
Kodwa, le micimbi yomtshato ngexesha lokukhulelwa inokucwangciswa ngokufanelekileyo ukuba amaqabane anenqanaba elifanelekileyo lokuqonda kunye nothando olungapheliyo omnye komnye. Ekuphela kwento ekufuneka beyiqonde kukuba umtshato ngexesha lokukhulelwa ungabetha emadwaleni, kodwa yinto engapheliyo.
Ukuba omabini amaqabane anayo intando, banokulufumana olu tshintsho kubudlelwane ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwaye babuyele esiqhelweni.
Ukukhulelwa lelona xesha libalulekileyo ebomini babazali. Kungalixesha elinomdla njengoko indoda nomfazi becinga ngazo zonke izinto ezinokwenzeka kunye nokuba umntwana wabo omtsha uya kuba njani. Nangona kunjalo, ukukhulelwa kunokutshintsha ubudlelwane bomtshato-ngamanye amaxesha kube bubi-ukuba isibini siyakuvumela oko.
Ngelixa ukubhiyozela ukukhulelwa okutsha njengesibini, qiniseka ukuba uxoxa ngeemvakalelo zakho ngokukhululekileyo, nincedane niziva nithandwa, kwaye nenze indawo eyonwabisayo apho umntwana wenu-kunye nobabini-ninokukhula kunye.