Umxholo
- 1. Yazi ukuba umtshato owonwabisayo uqala ngaphambi komtshato uqobo
- 2. Khetha kakuhle, uze usebenze nzima
- 3. Hlalani nisempilweni omnye komnye
- 4. Thatha isigqibo sokuba ngubani owenza into ukugcina umzi uqhubeka
- 5. Yenza iinzame zokuthintela "ukufa kwamandlalo"
Abantu abatshatileyo ngokwesini ekugqibeleni bafumene ilungelo lokutshata kwaye uninzi lwabantu baseMelika bayayixhasa imbono yokutshata kwabantu abathandana nabantu abathandanayo okanye abatshatileyo.
Belangazelela ukuba ubudlelwane babo bube semthethweni kwaye bujongwe njengobusemthethweni njengezibini ezitshatileyo, uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo ziye ezantsi zaya kwiholo ledolophu okanye kwindawo yabo yokunqula ukuze bazinikele omnye komnye phambi kwabahlobo kunye nosapho.
Kodwa kuthekani "ngolonwabo olungapheliyo"?
Abantu abathandanayo abathandanayo bangaqinisekisa njani ukuba bayaqhubeka bethandana, behlonipha, behlonipha kwaye -baluleke nje-njengokonwaba emtshatweni wabo, kwakude kudala emva kokuba irayisi iphoselwe kwaye i-honeymoon iphelile?
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zomtshato ezithandanayo. Sebenzisa ezi ngcebiso zobudlelwane bakho ukuze uqonde ukuba usebenza njani umtshato wesini kunye nokugcina iintlantsi ziphila.
1. Yazi ukuba umtshato owonwabisayo uqala ngaphambi komtshato uqobo
Ngaba imitshato yamafanasini ihleli?
Ewe, imitshato yamadoda athandana namanye iyaphela kwaye umtshato owonwabisayo awuyontsomi.
Imitshato yamaLesbian inokuhlala ebomini ukuba usebenza kubudlelwane bakho ngentliziyo yakho yonke. Phambi kokuba uthi "ndiyayenza" ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuba lo mfazi ngoyena.
Uphando kwizibini ezithandanayo luye lwabonisa ukuba abantu abathandana namanye amantombazana bayakhawuleza ukuzibophelela kwaye banomdla ongaphezulu kunezibini ezitshatileyo, apho indoda inokuthi ibeke iziqhoboshi ngokukhawuleza.
Kuyinyani ukuba imitshato yabantu abathandana nabathandana nabathandana nabathandana nabathandana nabathandana nabanye abantu ingama-50% amathuba okuphela kuqhawulo-mtshato kunemitshato yabantu besini esahlukileyo. Ke, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uzibuze ukuba umtshato wesini nomnye uwenza njani.
Kumtshato ophumeleleyo wobungqingili, cingisisa nzulu ngaphambi kokubopha iqhina, ukuze ungadingi ukukhulula eli qhina linye iminyaka usezantsi komgca kuba utsibe ngokukhawuleza okukhulu.
Kuhlala kuluncedo ukwenza ingcebiso ngaphambi komtshato ukulinganisa wena kunye nokuhambelana kwentombazana yakho, amaxabiso, kunye nokwenzeka komtshato ophumeleleyo.
2. Khetha kakuhle, uze usebenze nzima
Le yenye yezona ngcebiso zibalulekileyo kwezesini kubudlelwane, ekufuneka uyikhumbule ngaphambi kokuzibophelela kuko nakuphi na ukuzibophelela.
Ukonwabela umtshato wakho, khetha iqabane lakho kakuhle. Nje ukuba wazi ukuba lo mfazi ngumfazi onqwenela ukuchitha bonke ubomi bakho kunye naye, sebenza nzima ukuyigcina injalo.
Nika ingqalelo iqabane lakho, kodwa nawe. Zenzele ubuwena, umdla, kunye neenkanuko, ukuba ujonge kubudlelwane bexesha elide.
Awufuni ukuba nesithukuthezi okanye ungabi nanto yakuthetha ngayo xa uhleli ngapha nangapha kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa.
Sebenza nzima ukugcina isiseko sothando somtshato wakho: bonisa imiboniso yothando, yomibini incinci — inqaku lothando elishiyekileyo ekhawuntarini ukuze iqabane lakho lifumane emva kokuba uye emsebenzini — omkhulu — uhambo olungeyonto ongaluthabathayo ngempelaveki indawo oyithandayo oyithandayo.
Into ofuna ukuyiphepha kukuthatha kancinci. Leyo yindlela eqinisekileyo yokukhupha ulonwabo kubudlelwane.
3. Hlalani nisempilweni omnye komnye
Abantu abasempilweni bakulungele ukonwabela umtshato wabo ngoku nakwixesha elizayo. Kwinqanaba lomzimba, oku kuthetha ukutya ukutya okusempilweni ukomeleza amajoni akho omzimba kunye nokuthintela ukugula.
Ukufumana imithambo yemihla ngemihla ukuze wandise iihormone "ezilungileyo" kubalulekile ngokunjalo .. Kwinqanaba lokomoya, ukuziqhelanisa nengqondo, nokuba kungokonqulo olusemthethweni, okanye uhlobo oluthile lokucamngca kuya kukunceda ugcine ulungelelene.
Ukugcina umzimba kunye nengqondo esempilweni kunegalelo ekuziphatheni kakuhle ngokwasemoyeni, nto leyo enegalelo kwinqanaba eliphezulu lokonwaba emtshatweni wakho.
4. Thatha isigqibo sokuba ngubani owenza into ukugcina umzi uqhubeka
Kwimitshato yama-lesbian, iindima zesini azichazwanga kancinci xa kuthelekiswa nomtshato wesini esahlukileyo.
Izifundo zibonisa ukuba abantu abathandana besini esinye banesimo senkululeko ngakumbi kwiindima zesini xa kuthelekiswa nesibini esitshatileyo.
Ke ngumcimbi wenu nobabini kuphela onxibelelana ngendlela enifuna ukwahlulahlula ngayo imisebenzi yolawulo lwasekhaya ngeyona ndlela ifanelekileyo.
Ngaba omnye wenu ungcono kwimisebenzi ye-DIY, njengokungavali isinki exhaswa ngasemva okanye ukuxhoma imifanekiso? Ngaba omnye wenu ungcono ekhitshini, onwabele ukucwangciswa kwemenyu kunye nokwenza ukutya okumnandi?
Ukugcina umtshato wakho ungabi mnandi, uya kufuna ukuzama ukuqinisekisa ukuba imisebenzi yasekhaya yabiwa ngokulinganayo kwaye nobabini banegalelo ekusebenzeni kakuhle kobomi basekhaya.
Ingqumbo ingakhula ukuba ngaba mnye kuphela kuni owenza konke ukuthenga, ukupheka, ukucoca KANYE nokulungisa ikhaya. Ukuba unohlahlo-lwabiwo mali lwayo, cinga ngokuhlawula iinkonzo zangaphandle (umntu ococayo, umntu osebenza ngesandla) ukuba akukho namnye kuni ovumayo ukuthatha imisebenzi ethile.
Ukujonga ezinye zeembopheleleko ezingathandekiyo zokutshata kunokukugcina usentlungwini.
5. Yenza iinzame zokuthintela "ukufa kwamandlalo"
Ngokwengcali yezesondo yaseMelika uPepper Schwartz efundisa kwiDyunivesithi yaseWashington, kumtshato wamadoda athandana nabanye abantu, isini sithanda ukuthatha isihlalo kwangoko kulwalamano - kungekudala kunezibini ezitshatileyo. Le nto yaziwa ngokuba kukufa kwebhedi yabasetyhini.
Kodwa ukugcina ubudlelwane bexesha elide ngaphandle kobuhlobo bomzimba kunokuba ngumceli mngeni. Kumtshato wamadoda athandana namanye, isini sibalulekile njengokuba kunjalo emtshatweni wesini esinye okanye umtshato wesini esahlukileyo.
Ke, izibini ezithandanayo kufuneka zenze iinzame ngokungaguquguqukiyo ukugcina ubomi babo bezesondo bunomdla. Le ngcebiso yokutshata kwabantu abathandanayo ibaluleke kakhulu kuba ukufa komandlalo wesini esinye sezona zizathu zixhaphakileyo zokuba bohlukane kwakamsinya kunesibini esitshatileyo.
Ke, ingcebiso yesini esithandanayo yesini kukuzama indlela yesiqhelo kunye nokuzama izinto ezintsha ukunceda ukugcina ukuqhuba ngokwesondo ixesha elide.
- Khumbula amandla okuphatha
Kwiintsuku zokuqala zokuthandana kwakho, kungenzeka ukuba nachukumisana rhoqo. Kodwa ngoku ukuba utshatile, ungakulibala ukuba lubaluleke kangakanani ulusu kulwalamano.
Thatha isandla seqabane lakho xa uphuma kwaye malunga; hlikihla amagxa abo ngelixa ubukele umabonwakude. Ukunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kunakho ukukhupha i-hormone yokuziva ulungile eyaziwa ngokuba yi-oxytocin ekunceda ukuba uzive uqhagamshelene.
Qiniseka ukuba uyabamba, nokuba kungengokwesini, ubuncinci kube kanye ngemini. Sisikhumbuzo esithandekayo sokuba niyathandana kangakanani. Le yenye ingcebiso yobudlelwane bobufanasini!
- Ngena kunye rhoqo
Bekela bucala ixesha lokwenza "impilo yomtshato kunye nentlalontle". Le ncoko ingaba ngeveki okanye ngenyanga.
Qala ngombuzo onje ngala: "Ndingenza ntoni ukuze wenze ubomi bakho bube lula / nokuba bumnandi?" Oku kuvula ingxoxo ngendlela eyakhayo, kubonisa ukuba ufuna ukuva ukuba ungalixhasa njani iqabane lakho.
Injongo yoku kungeniswa kukuthintela ukungqubana okuncinci ekukhuleni okukhulu kwaye mhlawumbi kungalawuleki.
Ikwayindlela efanelekileyo yokuthatha ubushushu bomtshato wakho kwaye uqiniseke ukuba nobabini niqhubeka nivuna izibonelelo zomanyano lwenu.
- Sukuyityeshela imfuneko yokuba wedwa amaxesha ngamaxesha
I-adage "ukungabikho kwenza intliziyo ikhule kamnandi" kuyinyani kubo bonke ubudlelwane, i-hetero kunye nobufanasini. Ukutshata akuthethi ukuba kuhlanganiswe kunye ngalo lonke ixesha.
Yakha ngexesha kude omnye komnye ukuya kwiishedyuli zakho. Kungaba yimpelaveki kuphela espaa, okanye ngokuhlwa nabazali bakho, uwedwa.
Zonke izibini ezitshatileyo zexesha elide ziya kukuxelela ukuba kubalulekile ukuchitha ixesha ngokwahlukeneyo, ukuba kuphela kukudibana okumnandi okwenzekayo nje ukuba ubuyele ekhaya.
Ezi zezinye zeengcebiso ezibalulekileyo malunga nobufanasini. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyikhumbule emtshatweni wesini esithandanayo kukungalithathi kancinci iqabane lakho kwaye nihlale nithandana ngentliziyo yenu yonke.