Umxholo
Ukuba ukuyo, usenokungayazi loo nto — yinto eyaziwa ngokuba ngumjikelo wobudlelwane. Uyintoni umjikelo ngokubhekisele kubudlelwane? Tweet oku
Umjikelo uthetha ukuba kukho indlela yokuziphatha, okanye into ephindaphindayo kuni nobabini. Cinga ngento ethile emtshatweni wakho okanye ubudlelwane obuqhubeka ngokuphindaphindiweyo, kwaye akunakubonakala ngathi uphume kuwo.
Kufana nokukhwela ngokuqengqeleka uze uhlale kuwo ngonaphakade. Kukho amahla ndenyuka, emva koko xa uvala ukukhwela uphela ubuyela kanye apho uqala khona, emva koko ukukhwela kuqala kwakhona. Ukuba oku kubonakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo kuwe, funda njalo. Unokuba kumjikelo onokuthi uqhekeze ulwalamano lwakho. Nantsi eminye imijikelo eqhelekileyo ethi izibini zibanjwe kuyo kunye nendlela yokuziphilisa. Qaphela ukuba ukuqala kwakho ekuphiliseni akunakwanela, ngakumbi ukuba ubunomjikelo othile okwethutyana. Kodwa inokuba sisiqalo. Ngokuziqhelanisa ngakumbi, ekugqibeleni uya kuba nakho ukuphuma kumjikelo kwaye uphilise ngokulungileyo.
Umdlalo weTyala
Xa isibini sigcina amanqaku ixesha elide, ungabheja ukuba bakumjikelo okhohlakeleyo ofuna ukuphiliswa. Uya kwazi ukuba ukwimidlalo yokugxeka ukuba nobabini nihlala saying, "Inokuba ndiyenzile le nto imbi, kodwa wenze enye into embi, ke ..."
Njengokuba ukungaziphathi kakuhle komnye umntu kuyazicima ezabo. Yindlela yobuntwana yokuzama ukwenza iqabane lakho ukuba likubone ngenye indlela okanye ubenze babone ukuba nabo babi njengabo. Kuphela ayisebenzi ngaloo ndlela. Zihlala ziphela zikucaphukisa ngakumbi. Emva koko umjikelo uyaqhubeka.
Philisa umjikelo ngokuthatha ikhadi lamanqaku lobudlelwane kwaye ulikrazule. Qaphela ukuba ukugcina amanqaku akuncedi mntu — wena okanye iqabane lakho. Ukuba wenze into engalunganga, yiba ngowakho. Musa ukuza nomnye umntu owenzileyo, nokuba unxulumene. Mane uthi, “Ndenze into embi, ndicela uxolo.” Umzekelo wakho unokunceda iqabane lakho ukuba lenze into efanayo. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo thetha ngayo. Yenza isivumelwano sokuba awusayi kuphinda ugcine amanqaku, kwaye niyakukhumbuzana ngobubele ukuba ningenzi njalo.
Ukuthintela umba
Awunakuqonda ukuba lo ngumjikelo ekuqaleni, ude uqhushumbe ebusweni bakho. Nantsi into edla ngokwenzeka: Umntu wokuqala kulwalamano uzakuthetha okanye enze into emkhubekisayo umntu wesibini, kuphela ngumntu wokuqala ongakuqondiyo. Umntu wesibini uya kukuphepha ukuthetha nantoni na malunga nokuba ibenze bazive kakubi kangakanani; baya kuthi emva koko bathathe inxaxheba kulo mbandela, oya kuthi ukhule ngokungakhathali ezingqondweni zabo. Kude kube lusuku olunye into ingadibani ngokupheleleyo, umntu wesibini uya kuzisa umba wokuqala ngohlobo lokuqhushumba. Umntu wokuqala uya kuzibuza ukuba kutheni bengakhange bathethe nto ngaphambili! Zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni siphepha, ngokungathi sijonga ukuba umba uzakuhamba nje, okanye asifuni ukwazisa abanye ukuba basenzakalisile. Isenza sengozini kakhulu, kwaye yeyona nto yokugqibela uninzi lwethu lufuna ukuba yiyo. Siziva ngathi kulula ukuyiphepha, kodwa ekugqibeleni ayincedi mntu.
Philisa umjikelo ngokuba neemvakalelo zakho kunye nokuthetha ngazo. Ukuba ukuthetha kunzima kakhulu, babhale phantsi. Ungazivumeli ukuba zizitye. Ukuba uziva uxubekile ngaphakathi, zama ukuqonda ukuba yintoni unobangela. Cinga, yenza umthambo, kwaye usule intloko yakho nangayiphi na indlela onakho ngayo. Ngelixa uzolile, yiza neengcinga zakho kunye neemvakalelo kwiqabane lakho. Kuya kufuneka ke bamamele kwaye baphinde iimvakalelo zakho ukuze wazi ukuba bayaziqonda. Kuya kufuneka emva koko baqinisekise. Ndiyathemba ukuba oku kuya kukhokelela kwisiphumo esiphumeleleyo, esiya kuthi sikhuthaze indlela efanayo yokuziphatha kwixa elizayo.
Ukuwa okubalulekileyo
Akukho namnye kuthi ungabantu abagqibeleleyo, kwaye xa singene nzulu kubudlelwane ngamanye amaxesha siwela kumjikelo wokubonisa ezo ziphene. Ngubani owaziyo ukuba kutheni sisenza njalo. Mhlawumbi kusenza sibonakale siphakamile okanye ukutshintsha kugxile kwiimpazamo zomnye umntu hayi ezethu. Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, nabani na olixhoba lokugxekwa rhoqo ngokuba ngumntu ombi unokuthatha kuphela okuninzi. Baza kuhamba beziva bengento kwaye besoyikeka ukuba umntu abamthandayo ucinga njalo ngabo.
Philisa umjikelo ngokungaze uhlasele umntu. Unokungavumelani ngezinto okanye ungathandi isimilo somnye umntu. Kodwa awusoze uthi umntu umbi okanye akafanelekanga luthando lwakho. Endaweni yokuthi, “Ungoyena mntu ungoyena mntu,” unokuthi, “Andiyithandi into yokundibeka phantsi phambi kwabahlobo bakho.” Ihlasela ngokukodwa isimilo kunokuba ibhekise emntwini. Ungathetha malunga nokuziphatha kunye nendlela yokwenza wonke umntu kubudlelwane bonwabe. Ngokuqinisekileyo yindlela yokuphilisa.