Umxholo
- Izibini eziphilileyo zifunda ukulawula ukulindela kwazo
- Sonke sinelungelo njengabantu lokufuna kunye nokulindela izinto kwaye ngabantu ukuba benze njalo.
Ukuba uyinto enjengam ubambe isabelo sakho esifanelekileyo sokulindelweyo. Izinto "kufuneka" zibe ngale ndlela. Ubomi "kufanele" bulunge, njl. ... Umtshato unokuba yindawo yokuzalanisa kwaye lolunye uhlobo lwemfuno. Ngokuqinisekileyo, izinto ezilindelweyo zikhulu xa zidibana. Ingxaki ngokuphila ubomi kunye nomtshato wakho ngokulindelweyo kukuba kungekudala okanye kamva abayi kudibana kwaye usengxakini. Uninzi lwemitshato lusokola kakhulu xa kufikwa kusilelo lolindelo lokufezekiswa.
Ndiyayiva ngoku, "umtshato akufuneki ubenzima ngoluhlobo", "iqabane lam kufuneka lindazi ngoku", "mabatsalele kum kuphela!". Ewe, ithamsanqa ngayo yonke loo nto.
Izibini eziphilileyo zifunda ukulawula ukulindela kwazo
Ndiyaqonda ukuba sonke sinezinto esizikhethayo kunye namaxabiso esiphila kuwo kwaye sinethemba lokuba amaqabane ethu akwiphepha elinye, kodwa loo nto yahluke kakhulu kwezo zinto zingagungqiyo. Inyani ngumtshato onzima. Yindlela enzima yokudibanisa ubomi bakho nomnye umntu kwaye ujongane nobomi kunye nokuba uza nantoni na. Imitshato esempilweni ikholisa ukuba nezinto ezininzi ezifanayo; bathambekele ekubeni nezinto abazikhethayo ngokwenyani ngendlela oqhuba ngayo umtshato (umzekelo, iqabane lam lingumntu kuphela kwaye linokwenza iimpazamo). Bavame ukomelela kuba banokuthintela ukubambelela kulindelo olungafezekiswanga. Bahlala beqengqeleka ngamanqindi kwaye babone ubunzima emtshatweni njengomceli mngeni wokuwoyisa endaweni yophawu lokusilela. Imitshato esempilweni ikholisa ukulawula ukulindela kwabo.
Ngoku, akukho ngqiqweni kakhulu ukulindela ukuba iqabane lakho libe nomntu omnye. Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yokuba ulindele ukuba ayithethi ukuba izakwenzeka. Xa abantu abatshatileyo bezama ukuhlangula umtshato wabo emva kokuthandana, into ebalulekileyo kukwamkela ukuba iqabane liyakopela. Dlulisa ngaphaya kolindelo okanye ibango lokuba "bekungafanelekanga" ukuba baqhathe, kwaye ujonge amandla akho "onqwenela" ukuba bangabinalo kunye nosizi olusempilweni olulandelayo emva kolo lwamkelo. Ixesha lokulila linokuqhubeka kwaye isibini sinokusebenzela ukulungisa ubudlelwane.
Sonke sinelungelo njengabantu lokufuna kunye nokulindela izinto kwaye ngabantu ukuba benze njalo.
Ingxaki ilele kwiziphumo zokugcina ulindelo emva koko ungazifezekisi. I-dissonance inokuba yinto edlalayo kwaye ihlala ithatha ixesha ukuphilisa. Ukuba siza kwimitshato yethu ngendlela efanelekileyo, siyeke iimfuno ezingqongqo kunye nolindelo olungelulo, sibeka inqanaba lokukhula nokwamkelwa.
Enye indlela yokunyanzelisa amabango ziimfuno zoxhomekeko. Imfuno zoxhomekeko zilungelelene ngakumbi kwaye zijolise kwiziphumo. Umzekelo unokuthi, "UKUBA awuhlali ungatshatanga nomntu omnye, NGOKU andizukuhlala nditshatile nawe". Iimfuno ezinemiqathango ziyavuma ukuba iqabane linokukhetha oko likufunayo kodwa iziphumo ziya kulandela. Abanye benu banokucinga ngaphakathi kwabo ukuba lo ngumcimbi weesemicics. Ulungile!
Ulwimi luphawu olubonisa imeko yethu yangaphakathi, okanye indlela esivakalelwa ngayo. Into esizixelela yona entlokweni yethu nento esibaxelela yona ziingcinga zethu. Incoko esezintloko zethu ingasikhokelela kwiimvakalelo esizifumanayo kunye nokuziphatha okulandelayo. Xa ndisebenza nezibini ezineemfuno ndiqala ndisebenze ngokubanceda batshintshe ulwimi lwabo, kokubini kubo nakumaqabane abo. Ngokuqaphela ulwimi lwakho kunye nokusebenzela ukulutshintsha, usebenzela ukutshintsha indlela oziva ngayo.
Umtshato unokuba ngumceli mngeni kwaye unokuba njalo nangakumbi xa ulahla ulindelo / iimfuno ezingenangqondo kumxube. Zinike ikhefu kunye neqabane lakho kwaye nivumele omnye komnye ukuba abe ngumntu. Musa ukoyika ukuveza into oyifunayo kunye nento onethemba lokuyifumana kulwalamano.