Umxholo
Yintoni uthando? Ewe, lowo ibingumbuzo kwizigaba zexesha. Ngokwengqondo yothando kunye nomtshato, yimvakalelo. Kukhetho. Ikamva.
Yintoni oyikholelwayo ngothando, kwaye itshintshe njani kule minyaka idlulileyo? Nangona uthando luziva luhlukile kwaye luthetha into eyahlukileyo kuye wonke umntu, sonke siyalufuna.
Umtshato kunye nobudlelwane beengqondo bebefunda umxholo wothando kunye nomtshato ixesha elide.Bafumene inyani esisiseko yothando kunye nokutshata kwengqondo kwiminyaka edlulileyo, ekusafanelekile ukuba ifundwe ngokwasemphefumlweni, ubuncinci sinokubambisana sonke:
Ngokweziphumo zothando nezomtshato, kukho "uthando lokwenene" kwaye kukho "uthando lwenjanana."
Uninzi lwabantu lwazi uthando lwenjana njengokuthabatheka okanye uthando. Umqondiso we-telltale uhlala uza nzima kwaye ukhawuleze. Kukho umtsalane omkhulu apho ogqume ingqondo nomzimba.
Amaxesha amaninzi, uthando lwenjana aluhlali. Sonke siye sanentabatheko yethu; ilingisa uthando lokwenyani kodwa ayifani ncam. Kuyenzeka ukuba ikhule ibe luthando lwenene.
Uthando luvakalelo kunye nokukhetha
Ngokwe-psychology yothando kunye neyomtshato, kunzima ukuyichaza, kodwa uthando luluvakalelo oluziva kubunzulu bomphefumlo wakho. Xa uqala ukubeka umntwana wakho omtsha usana, okanye ujonga iqabane lakho ngosuku lwakho lomtshato-uziva nje wonwabile kwaye ungamenzela nantoni na loo mntu.
Kodwa ngaphaya kwale mvakalelo, uthando lukwanokukhetha. Sinokukhetha ukwenza ngezo mvakalelo okanye hayi.
Ngokwesiqhelo ukwenza ezo mvakalelo kuzala iimvakalelo zothando ezingaphezulu, njalo njalo. Ngamanye amaxesha abanye kunzima ukubathanda, kodwa sinokukhetha ukuthanda kubo.
Lukwaluthando olo, kodwa njengokukhetha; nangona kweso sikhundla inokukhula ibe yimvakalelo yothando.
Ngaphandle koko, uninzi lwezibini eziwela ngaphakathi nangaphandle kothando. Ngoba? Oku kunxulumene nendlela abantu abatshintsha ngayo ngokuhamba kwexesha, kunye nokuba sihlala njani kamnandi nabanye.
Enye yezinto ezinomdla ngomtshato kukuba umtshato uhlala usebenza.
Kubalulekile ukwenza uthando kunye nokondla ubudlelwane ukugcina uthando luphilile. Uthando, nangona, luyatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha, nkqu nophando lutsho njalo. Ngaphandle kokondla umtshato ujika ube tyaba kwaye uyadika.
I-Psychology yothando ithi unganalo uthando ngaphandle komtshato, kwaye unganomtshato ngaphandle kothando. Kodwa uthando nomtshato azidibani.
Umtshato ngokwesiqhelo ubonakalisa abantu ababini beqinisa uthando lwabo omnye komnye kukuzinikela ebomini.
Sonke siyaludinga uthando. Into malunga nokuba ngumntu ifuna ukuba siziva sinxibelelene nomnye, ukuba samkelwe, siziswe. Oko kuyathandwa. Sinqwenela ukuba abanye basithande, bathande nabanye.
Ngokwe-love and psychology yomtshato, isinika injongo ephezulu kunye nenkuthazo yokuba ngcono kwaye siphile ubomi obulungileyo.
Xa sithandwa njengabantwana, iingqondo zethu zikhula ngendlela esempilweni, zifumana unxibelelwano olusinceda kubomi bethu bonke. Kodwa kwanolo luvo lokhuseleko kunye nolonwabo yinto esiyibawela.
Iinyani zothando
Nazi iinyani ezinomdla eziyinyani ngothando nomtshato.
Ezi nyani ziyinyani ngothando ziya kukwenza uncume kwaye ubhabhe entliziyweni kukonwaba. Ezi nyani zengqondo kunye nothando ngomtshato ziya kukunceda ufumane impendulo kumbuzo othi, "yintoni uthando nomtshato".
Ezi nyaniso zinomdla wengqondo ngothando ziphosa ukukhanya kwisayikholo somtshato kwaye zivelise ubunyani obunengqiqo kwizibakala zengqondo.
Ezi nyani zimnandi ngomtshato nothando ziya kukwenza ufune ukuhlala kolu luvo lufudumeleyo kwaye lungamnandi, kunye neqabane lakho kubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli.
- Enye yezinto ezinomdla wengqondo ngothando kukuba Ukuthandana kukunika eyona nto iphakamileyo! Ukuwa eluthandweni kubangela ukukhutshwa kwehomoni njenge-dopamine, i-oxytocin, kunye ne-adrenaline.
- Ezi hormone zikunika imvakalelo yokonwaba, impumelelo kunye nolonwabo. Xa uthandana, uyonwabisa kakhulu.
- Iinyani zothando lokwenyani zibandakanya ukuthathela ingqalelo iiseshoni zokuzibandakanya njengesiko elingcwele elikhuthaza impilo yakho kunye nokugcina iintlungu zisendleleni. Ukuwola iqabane lakho okanye ukubamba kubo, kunciphisa intloko engapheliyo kunye noxinzelelo.
- Ukuwola umntu omthandayo kunciphisa imvakalelo yokuphola eyenziwa yipainkiller, ngaphandle kweziphumo ebezingalindelekanga.
- Iinyani zengqondo ngothando kunye nobudlelwane zibonisa indima yobudlelwane ekwakheni ubuntu kunye nenkqubo yokucinga.
- Ukuba sothandweni yenza abantu babe nethemba ngakumbi kwaye bazithembe. It ikhuthaza abantu ukuba babe novelwano, babe nemfesane kwaye usebenze kwindawo yokungazingci kunye nembono elungileyo.
- Wena neqabane lakho ninokuzuza kakhulu ekuhlekeni kunye. Iinyani eziyinyani zengqondo ngothando zigxininisa ukubaluleka kokonwaba kunye ukuhleka kubudlelwane, Ukuyithetha njenge Isizathu sobomi obude, impilo elungileyo, kunye nolwaneliseko lobuhlobo.
- Yandisa umbulelo ongazenzisiyo kumyeni okanye kwinkosikazi yakho ngokukugcina usempilweni. Abantu banentambo ngokwasemphefumlweni ukuhlala kumaqela asondeleleneyo okanye iibhondi ezonwabileyo kunye nabalingane babo. Iinyani zengqondo ngomtshato zibonisa ukubaluleka kokubopha ngokusondeleyo emtshatweni.
- Xa amaqabane efumana inkxaso yeemvakalelo, bayaphola ngokukhawuleza ekuguleni nasekulimaleni. Xa sithandana kwaye sonwabele ubudlelwane obunempilo, inegalelo kuxinzelelo lwegazi olusezantsi kunye nokundwendwela okumbalwa kugqirha wakho.
- Iinyani malunga nothando lomtshato zifanelwe ukukhankanywa kwe Owona mtshato mde uthathe iminyaka engama-86. UHerbert Fisher noZelmyra Fisher batshata nge-13 Meyi 1924 eMntla Carolina, e-USA.
- Babeneminyaka engama-86 betshatile, iintsuku ezingama-290 ukusukela ngomhla wama-27 kweyoMdumba ngo-2011, ukusweleka kuka Mnu Fisher.