Oko uLwimi Lwakho Lomzimba Lutshoyo Ngolwalamano Lwakho

Umbhali: John Stephens
Umhla Wokudalwa: 22 Eyomqungu 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 29 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Oko uLwimi Lwakho Lomzimba Lutshoyo Ngolwalamano Lwakho - I-Psychology
Oko uLwimi Lwakho Lomzimba Lutshoyo Ngolwalamano Lwakho - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Unxibelelwano lwethu lwenziwe ngemiqondiso yomlomo nengathethiyo. Ukusuka kubuso bethu ukuya kwindlela esiwubeka ngayo umzimba wethu, izinto esingazithethiyo zisathumela umyalezo kwaye zichaphazele indlela esidibana ngayo nabanye.

Xa siziqhelanisa nolwimi lomzimba, siya kuba ngcono ekuchazeni oko abanye banxibelelana ngaphandle kokusebenzisa amagama. Ukuqaqanjiswa kweempawu zomzimba kukwaphucula izakhono zethu zonxibelelwano.

Ngomyalelo weempawu zethu zomzimba, silawula ukuba yeyiphi imiyalezo esiyithumelayo kunye nokunciphisa umngcipheko wokunxibelelana nento esingazange sifune "ukuyithetha".

Ngaphambi kokuba siqhubeke ngokuchaza imizekelo yeempawu zomzimba, masichaze ukuba loluphi ulwimi lokuqala.

Yintoni ulwimi lomzimba?

Ulwimi lomzimba lubhekisa kwinxalenye engathethiyo yonxibelelwano. Inxalenye enkulu yonxibelelwano ineempawu ezingathethiyo, kubandakanya ulwimi lomzimba. Ngokwezifundo, loo nxalenye yi-60-65% yokunxibelelana kwethu kwemihla ngemihla.


Ezinye iintlobo zonxibelelwano olungathethiyo zibandakanya imbonakalo yobuso, inkangeleko, ukubamba, ukudibana kwamehlo, indawo yobuqu, izijekulo, ukubekwa kwezinto njengethoni yelizwi, kunye nezinto ezenziwe ngezinto ezifana nemifanekiso.

Ukufunda ulwimi lomzimba kuqala ngokuqonda intsingiselo yeempawu zomzimba. Nangona intsingiselo yempawu yomzimba ingahluka ngokuxhomekeke kwimeko kunye nabantu ababandakanyekayo, ezinye iimpawu zichanekile kwaye ziyabonakala kwintsingiselo yazo.

Iimpawu ezifanelekileyo zolwimi lomzimba

1. Uncumo

Sinezihlunu ezingama-43 ebusweni bethu, ngoko ayimangalisi into yokuba ubuso yeyona ndawo yethu yomzimba ibonakalisayo. Cinga malunga nokuba umntu angadlulisa kangakanani ngobuso babo.

Ukuba umntu ukuxelela ukuba bayaphila, kodwa ubuso babo abubonakalisi mvakalelo ifanelekileyo, awuyi kuyikholelwa le nto bayithethayo.


Senza isigwebo kwimeko yabo yeemvakalelo kunye nobuntu ngokukhawuleza. Idatha ibonakalise i-100 ms ukubonakaliswa kobuso kwanele ukuba abantu benze izigqibo ezahlukeneyo ezinjengokuthenjwa, ubuchule kunye nokuba ndlongondlongo.

Into enomdla kukuba bayafumanisa ukuba imbonakalo yobuso ebandakanya ukunyuka kancinci kwamashiya kunye noncumo oluncinci kunxulunyaniswa nobuhlobo kunye nokuzithemba. Ke ngoko, ukuncuma kuyaqhubeka njengenye yezona mpawu zibalulekileyo zolwimi lomzimba.

2. Ukulingisa ukuhamba komnye nomnye

Ulwimi lomzimba lwezibini ezonwabileyo othandweni zifumanisa ukuba zihlala zihamba, zincuma kwaye zithetha ngokufanayo.

Ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye kunye nokufumana umntu onomdla usishukumisela ukuba, ubukhulu becala sazi, silingise iindlela zabo. Ukuboniselana intshukumo yomnye nomnye kujongwa njengolwimi lomzimba lwezibini ezithandanayo.


3. Ukuhamba okungqameneyo

Ulwimi lomzimba womntu otshatileyo lutyhila ukuba bathandana kangakanani kwaye banxibelelene ngemiqondiso enjengokuba bahambelana njani xa behamba, umzekelo.

Okukhona besazi kwaye beqhagamshelene neempawu zabo zomlingane ezingathethiyo, kokukhona banokutshatisa isitayile sabo sokuhamba. Ke ngoko, sinokuphikisa ukuba inqanaba lokusondela liya kuba nefuthe kulungelelwaniso lwezenzo zamaqabane.

Umzimba ujonge omnye komnye

Kukho imfihlo yolwimi lomzimba nabani na ojonge ukwazi ukuba umntu uyabathanda kufuneka bazi. Xa sifumana umntu onomdla okanye ovuselelayo, umzimba wethu ngokwendalo ujonge kubo. Asazi nokuba iyenzeka nini le nto.

Ke ngoko, ungawusebenzisa lo mqondiso wolwimi ukujonga ukuba uziva njani omnye umntu ngawe. Ngaba umzimba wabo okanye iingcebiso zemilenze zikhomba kuwe? Gcina iliso lakho kulwimi lomzimba lothando.

5. Ukuchukumiseka okuzenzekelayo nokuthe rhoqo

Xa siziva sinomdla komnye umntu, sifuna ukubachukumisa phantse ngethuku. Nokuba kususwa amabhanti othuli "abonakalayo" kwihempe yabo, ukubetha kancinci engalweni, okanye ukubamba okuzenzekelayo ngelixa bathethayo, olu phawu lomzimba lutyhila umnqweno wokusondelelana. Xa kukho ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo, ukuchukumisa kuyindalo njengokuphefumla.

6. Bayame omnye komnye

Ukuba ujonge ukuqonda ulwalamano lomzimba, hlala ujonge abantu abazimisele ukuba kufutshane komnye umntu. Ngaba bayame xa omnye ethetha? Ukoyama umzimba ongasentla komnye umntu kunye nokufaka ubuso bethu ngabo luphawu lomdla wokwenene.

Ngapha koko, ukoyama intloko yakho egxalabeni lomntu njengolwalamano, ulwimi lomzimba luguqula ukuthembela nokusondela. Oku kuthetha ukuba ukhululekile ukuba usondele kubo ngokwasemzimbeni, kwaye kuthetha ukusondelelana kubudlelwane.

7. Ukujongana emehlweni

Kukho isizathu sokuba abantu bathi "amehlo sisipili somphefumlo." Okuninzi kunokudityaniswa ngenkangeleko enye. Imiqondiso yothando lokudibana kwamehlo inokuthwala incoko kuyo yonke.

Ke ngoko, xa umntu ejonge kuwe okanye ejonge emehlweni kancinci ixesha elide kunesiqhelo, unokuqiniseka ukuba banomdla kuwe. Ngapha koko, izibini ezithandanayo nezithandanayo zinokutshintshiselana ngezivakalisi ezipheleleyo ngokujonga nje kube kanye. Bajongana ngokuzenzekelayo xa kukho into eyenzekayo ukukhangela iimpendulo zabathandekayo babo.

Ke ngoko, iimpawu zothando zonxibelelwano ngamehlo zibonisa ukuthembana, ukuqhelana, kunye nokuqonda okungadingi amagama.

8. Vula iintende ngexesha lokuncokola

Ukuma kwethu kunye nezimbo zomzimba ziyatshintsha kuxhomekeka kwindlela esicinga ngayo kunye neencoko zethu kuba umzimba wethu ubonakalisa indlela esivakalelwa ngayo.

Yiyo loo nto, xa sinomdla kwinto esiyixelelwa ngumntu kwaye sikulungele ukummamela loo mntu, izandla zethu zihlala zibonisa ngokungafihlisi. Izandla ezibonakalisiweyo zihlala zibonakalisa ingqondo evulekileyo kwaye zijolise ngqo emntwini.

9. Izimbo zomzimba ezikhuselayo

Ukhe waqaphela iqabane lakho libeka ingalo yalo kuwonke wonke ukukhusela? Mhlawumbi bathatha isandla sakho ngokwendalo xa benqumla isitalato? Ngaba bayaqaphela ukuba kukho umntu okwenza ukuba ungonwabi kwaye ujoyine incoko ukukhusela?

Izenzo ezinje ngezi zibonisa ukuba bafuna ukukukhusela njengoko sisenza sonke xa sikhathalela umntu. Ngethuku lemvelo kufuneka baqiniseke ukuba ukhuselekile.

Izithethe ezizodwa ezizodwa kuni nobabini

Ngaba unayo indlela ekhethekileyo yokuphakama ezintlanu omnye komnye, wink, okanye uthi ndlela-ntle omnye komnye? Njengamahlaya angaphakathi, ukuxhawulana ngasese, kunye nezithethe ezizodwa zithetha kwinqanaba lokuqheleka kwakho. Xa sisazana kakuhle kwaye siziva sisondele, oko kubonakala kwindlela esiziphatha ngayo.

Iimpawu zomzimba ezingalunganga

1. Ukuqhwanyaza ngokungaqhelekanga

Nangona ukuqhwanyaza kuyinto yendalo, kwaye siyenza ngalo lonke ixesha, ubunzulu bayo kufanelekile ukuba buqaphele. Ukuqwayiza rhoqo kubonisa ukungonwabi okanye uxinzelelo.

Ngapha koko, idatha ibonisa ukuba ukungqubana okungaqhelekanga kubonisa ukuba umntu uzama ngabom ukulawula iintshukumo zamehlo akhe. Kuzo zombini ezi meko, ukuqhwanyaza okungaqhelekanga kunokubonisa umntu ongaziva ekhululekile okanye onwabile ukuba kuloo meko okanye naloo mntu.

2. Pat ngasemva

Ipat kumqolo ngese nganye akufuneki ibe luphawu olubi. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba usebudlelwaneni, inokubonisa ukungabikho kobuhlobo. Ukuba ufuna ukuqinisekiswa kunye nenkxaso kwaye iqabane lakho likhethe ukuphatheka ngobubele, oko kungabonisa ukulahleka konxibelelwano. Ayisiyo isigwebo sentambo kulwalamano, kodwa kufanelekile ukujonga.

3. Ukuvalwa komzimba

Xa uzama ukuqonda ulwimi lomzimba kunye nobudlelwane, jonga ukuma kwabantu. Ukuma okuvaliweyo kubandakanya ukuzingela phambili kunye nokufihla isiqu somzimba kunokubonisa ukungathandani kunye noxinzelelo.

4. Iibrawuza ezitsaliweyo

Uphando lukaGqirha Gottman luchaza indelelo njengenye yezona zinto zikhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato. Enye yeendlela umzimba wethu obonisa ngayo ukugxeka kukukhangela okukhanyayo. Ukuba abantu abadidekanga yile nto ithethwayo, ii-browser ezinamakhwiniba zingabonisa ukungavumelani, ukungathandi, umsindo, okanye ubundlongondlongo.

Oku kunokuba ngumbonakaliso wencoko enzulu kunye nesilumkiso sokuqaphela ukunyuka okunokubakho.

5. Izandla ziphumle esinqeni

Ngaba ukhe wababona abantu bethetha kwaye becinga ukuba babeke izandla esinqeni? Ukuba unayo, kunokwenzeka, ukhawuleze wacinga ukuba kungakho impikiswano eyenzekayo apho. Kungenxa yokuba ukuma ubeke izandla esinqeni kunokuthetha ukulawula okanye ukulungela.

Olu phawu lomzimba luguqulela kulawulo kunye nokuba ngumphathi. Ngokunokwenzeka, inokutolikwa njengophawu lobundlongondlongo.

6. Iingalo ezinqamlezileyo

Xa sifuna ukuziva sikhuselekile ngakumbi, senza ibhloko yomzimba. Ukuwela iingalo ngexesha lencoko kungabonisa isidingo sokwenza udonga phakathi kwethu kunye nomnye umntu kunye namazwi abo.

Iingalo eziwele esifubeni zibonisa isidingo sokwehlisa ubungozi esinokuziva ngalo mzuzu. Ingabonisa ukuba uziva ukhathazekile, unomsindo, okanye wenzakele.

Bukela kwakhona: I-Psychology tricks yokufunda nabani na onjengencwadi

7. Izandla-ebunzi

Xa umntu ebeka izandla zakhe ebunzi, zihlala zibetha eludongeni lohlobo oluthile. Ngokunokwenzeka badiniwe kukuzama ukufikelela kwinqanaba labo kwaye banxunguphele ngokungaziva.

Ukuba uqaphela iqabane lakho lisenza rhoqo, ufuna ukungena ungene kulo kwaye unike ingqalelo ngakumbi kwinto abazama ukunxibelelana nayo.

8. Bathembele omnye komnye

Ulwimi lomzimba lwezibini ezithandanayo zihlala zibonisa imizimba yazo i-angling kwaye ikhokelana, kwaye ilandela ingcinga efanayo, ishiya kude enye ibonakalisa isidingo somgama.

Inokuba yeyomzuzwana okanye iphawuleke ngakumbi; Nangona kunjalo, ukufulathela umntu okanye ukuthembela kude kunokubonisa ukungathandi okanye ukungonwabi.

9. Ukujonga kude

Nangona kunokuba kukuhendeka ukujonga phantsi okanye ecaleni xa umntu ethetha nathi, ukuthintela ukudibana kwamehlo kunokuguqula kungabi namdla. Ngokophando, uxinzelelo lwasentlalweni lunxulumene nokuphepha okanye ukujikela kunxibelelwano lwamehlo.

Nangona kunjalo, itolikwa ikakhulu njengengabangeli mdla kwincoko. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, ziqhelanise nokujonga abanye amehlo ubuncinci i-60% yexesha. Ngaphezu koku kunokubonakala ngathi kuyaqala, kwaye kungaphantsi kokungabandakanyeki.

10. Ukukhupha kude kunxibelelwano lomzimba

Xa bethandana, abantu bafuna ukubambana rhoqo. Ukuba endaweni yokubhrasha iibunny zothuli okanye ukubeka umtya weenwele emva kweendlebe, iqabane likhetha ukwazisa nje umntu wabo obathandayo ngenkangeleko embi, isenokuba yiflegi ebomvu.

Ngokukodwa xa iqhubeka kwaye idityaniswa nolunye ulwimi olubi lomzimba njengokujika kwelinye icala ebhedini, ukwanga ngokusesikweni nangakumbi, okanye ukuyeka isandla xa uzama ukubamba ngesandla.

Uyithumela njani imiqondiso yobuhlobo engenamlomo?

Ukuba unqwenela ukuqiniseka ukuba awutyhaleli nabani na ngaphandle kokuqonda, qala ngokunikela ingqalelo ngakumbi kulwimi lwakho lomzimba. Uhlala njani, uzinzise unxibelelwano ngamehlo, uzibeke endaweni yakho xa unxibelelana nomntu, kwaye yintoni imbonakalo yobuso bakho ngalo mzuzu?

Ukulawula unxibelelwano olungathethi ngomlomo kuyenzeka.

Izifundo zibonise unxibelelwano phakathi kokuma okuvulekileyo kunye nokuthanda komntu. Ukuma komzimba okuvulekileyo kukhuthaza le mpembelelo ngombono wolawulo kunye nokuvuleka kwabantu abathathe esi sikhundla.

Ke ngoko, ukuba ujonge ukwandisa amathuba okuthandana, unokujonga kwaye uthathe indawo evulekileyo yomzimba.

Unxibelelwano olungathethiyo ludlala indima ebalulekileyo ekugqithiseni ulwazi kwabanye kunye nendlela abazitolika ngayo izenzo zethu kwaye bagwebe isimilo sethu.

Ncuma ngakumbi, gcina izandla zakho zivulekile kwaye uphume ezipokothweni, yenza ukubonwa ngamehlo, kwaye uphephe ezinye izijekulo zomzimba ezimbi ukuze ubonakale unobungane kwaye uphucule unxibelelwano nabanye.

Soloko uqwalasela umxholo

Ngelixa uninzi lolwimi lomzimba lunokuqondwa ngokuchanekileyo, soloko ulumke kwaye ujonge umxholo. Ungacingi ukuba uyazi ukuba yintoni into eqinisekileyo okanye uthathe ukuba ihlala iyinto enye.

Ngelixa amabinzana, inkangeleko, kunye nethoni yelizwi zinokukuxelela okuninzi malunga nento azama ukuyithetha umntu, hlala ucinga ngento abakuxelela yona xa utolika intsingiselo yomyalezo wabo.

Ngapha koko, uyazi iqabane lakho kunye nabantu abasondele kuwe ngaphezu kwakhe nabani na. Ngelixa unokujonga ezinye zeempawu ezingalunganga zomlomo, eyona ndlela ikhuselekileyo yokutolika ngokuxoxa ngazo naloo mntu.

Ukukhumbula imiqondiso yomzimba kunye neeflegi ezibomvu ezinokubakho akufuneki zilingane nokutsiba ukuya kwisiphelo.

Endaweni yoko, thatha ixesha ubuze loo mntu kwaye ucacise naluphi na ulwimi lomzimba olunokukubhida. Khumbula ukufaka zombini iziphelo zembonakalo ekukhangeleni kwakho intsingiselo-ngomlomo nangamazwi.