Umxholo
- Iresiphi yolwalamano olusempilweni kunye nolwanelisayo
- Imilinganiselo yolwalamano olwanelisayo
- Izinto ongazenziyo kubudlelwane obuzalisekisayo
Wena neqabane lakho ninobudlelwane obulungileyo nobusempilweni, kodwa ngaba luzalisekisiwe ngokwasemphefumlweni?
Ukuba nobudlelwane obonelisayo ngokweemvakalelo sisitshixo sokuhlala kunye kude kube sekufeni. Ufuna ukuzibophelela kwexesha elide, oku kukhokelela ekwaluphaleni kunye.
Kodwa, imiqobo esemendweni wakho inokukuthintela ekufikeleleni usukelo lwakho. Ukoyisa, njengesibini, kunokukuqhubela kwicala elifanelekileyo kwakhona.
Ukuze ufike apho, kufuneka Ziqhelanise nezinto omele ukuzenza nokungafanele uzenze ukuze ube nolwalamano olwanelisayo.
Ukwazi into omele uyenze kwaye ongamele uyenze ukuhlala kunye ngemvisiswano kwaye nibe kunye ixesha elide udlala indima ebalulekileyo kukuziva uzalisekile kubudlelwane.
Iresiphi yolwalamano olusempilweni kunye nolwanelisayo
Lonke ulwalamano lwenziwa ngezinto ezahlukeneyo, yiyo loo nto ukuthelekisa ubudlelwane bakho nolunye ulwalamano olungenaziqhamo.
Nidibane ngenxa yokuba nicofa. Unobudlelwane obusempilweni nobanelisayo kuba wabelana ngeenjongo ezifanayo zokuba ufuna ubudlelwane bube njani.
Oku kunizisa nobabini kwiphepha elinye. Zeziphi izithako zokuba nolwalamano olusempilweni nolwanelisayo?
Ukuze ube namava awanelisayo, kufuneka ufumane iresiphi yokuyiphila ngokwazi izithako ekufuneka uzenzile kwaye ungafanele ukubeka kuzo.
Imilinganiselo yolwalamano olwanelisayo
Okulandelayo ziidosi zobudlelwane obonelisayo:
1. Gcina unxibelelwano olunentsingiselo lweemvakalelo
Uphando lwe-Neurobiological lubonakalisile ukuba ukhuseleko lweemvakalelo lubalulekile ekugcineni unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo olusempilweni kunye neqabane lakho. Yenza omnye nomnye azive ekhuselekile ngokweemvakalelo, enelisekile ngokwasemoyeni, kwaye ethandwa.
Ukuziva uthandwa kuthetha ukuba iqabane lakho liyakwamkela kwaye likuxabisile. Bakuqonda ngokupheleleyo kwaye bakufumane. Awufuni ukubakho ngenxa yomnye kunye.
Ufuna ukufumaneka ngokweemvakalelo komnye nomnye. Ukuzaliseka ngokweemvakalelo kuya kuwuvala umgama phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho.
2. Yamkela ukungavisisani okunentlonelo
Iindlela ezimbini ezithi izibini zisombulule kwaye zilungise ukungavisisani kukuthetha ngokuzolileyo izinto okanye ukuphakamisa amazwi abo ukuze bafumane le ngongoma.
Nokuba yeyiphi indlela ophethe ngayo ungquzulwano, qiniseka ukuba uyenza ngendlela ehloniphekileyo kwaye, okona kubaluleke kakhulu, ungaze woyike ukungqubana.
Kufuneka uzive ukhuselekile ukuzibonakalisa kwiqabane lakho, bengoyiki indlela abanokuziphindezela ngayo. Ngokudibeneyo, jolise ekufumaneni isisombululo sempixano ngaphandle kokuthotywa, ukuthotywa, okanye ukunyanzelisa ukuba ulungile.
3. Gcina ubudlelwane bangaphandle, izinto ozithandayo kunye nezinto onomdla kuzo
Iqabane lakho alinakho ukuhlangabezana nazo zonke iimfuno zakho, kwaye awukwazi ukuhlangabezana nezabo. Ke, ukuba nolindelo olungeyonyani kubeka uxinzelelo olungafunekiyo komnye nomnye.
Ngokumangalisayo, ukugcina iintlantsi ziphila, kufuneka ugcine ubudlelwane obungaphandle, izinto ozithandayo kunye nezinto onomdla kuzo ziphila.
Sukuvumela ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho ukuba bukutyise kangangokuba ekugqibeleni ulahlekelwe sisazisi sakho.
Hlala unxibelelana nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho, kwaye uqhubeke usenza into oyithandayo ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho.
4. Zama ukuba unxibelelwano oluthembekileyo noluphandle
Unxibelelwano oluthembekileyo noluvulekileyo sesinye sezona zinto zibalulekileyo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano olwanelisekayo- nokuba liqabane lakho, umntwana, umzali, umntakwenu, okanye umhlobo.
Xa abantu ababini bechaza ngokukhululekileyo uloyiko lwabo, iimfuno kunye neminqweno kunye, oko kuyalomeleza ulwalamano kunye nokwandisa ukuthembana phakathi kwabantu ababini.
5. Gxila kwizinto ezintle
Akukho mntu ugqibeleleyo. Nokuba wena neqabane lakho anifezekanga. Wonke umntu uneempawu ezingalunganga malunga nabo, kodwa isizathu sokuba nibe kunye kukuba iimpawu ezintle zigqwesa ezimbi.
Xa ungavumelani okanye uphikisana, kuyindalo yomntu ukucinga ngezinto ezingathandekiyo kuqala kwaye ubeke izinto ezintle kwisikhuseli esibi.
Ngokuhlala ujolise kwimicimbi emibi yobudlelwane, ubudlelwane abuzukuya ndawo.
Nanini na xa uziva ngathi ubudlelwane bakho buyasongelwa, qonda kwaye ngabom uxelelane into abayithandayo ngomnye nomnye, kutheni bafuna ukuba kunye, kunye nendlela abanokuyisombulula ngayo imeko ngokukhawuleza.
Izinto ongazenziyo kubudlelwane obuzalisekisayo
Okulandelayo kukungafuneki kobudlelwane obuzalisekisayo:
1. Ukudlala kubuthathaka beqabane lakho
Musa ukudlala kubuthathaka babo, kodwa soloko uphinda amandla abo.
Ngokuhlala ubaxelela into abayenzayo engalunganga, unciphisa amandla abo okwenza nantoni na elungileyo.
Utyumza ukuzithemba kwabo ngokuhlala uchaza okungalunganga kubo. Endaweni yoko, hlala nabo phantsi baxoxe ngendlela abanokwenza ngayo izinto ngokwahlukileyo kubudlelwane.
2. Ukuziphindezela kwiqabane lakho
Ukuziphindezela kwinto esenokuba ayenzileyo iqabane lakho yinto encinci, kwaye akukho ndlela ingcono yokubeka loo nto.
Ufuna ukucacisa umjikelo wempindezelo - uziphindezela, baziphindezela, wena, bona, njalo njalo.
Soloko ubaphatha ngendlela ofuna bakuphathe ngayo, nokuba bakwenza ntoni kuwe. Ungaze ungene nakulwalamano kuba oko kuthetha intshabalalo.
3. Ukubetha izinto ngokungalinganiyo
Ziqhelise ukukhumbula.
Hlala phantsi wedwa ukubonisa imeko yonke ngaphambi kokuba uqumbe okanye unyibilike. Ungaze ucinge okanye ucinge nzulu ngemeko ngaphambi kokuthetha neqabane lakho.
Sukuvumela uloyiko lwakho kunye nokungaqiniseki kukufumane. Xa uziva imeko inzima kakhulu, zibuze ukuba kufanelekile na ukubeka ulwalamano lwakho esichengeni.
4. Ukwenza izinto ngokuzilahlela
Ngaphambi kokuba wenze nasiphi na isigqibo, cinga ngaso amaxesha amaninzi ngaphambi kokuba uhambe naso.
Ukwenza ngenxa yokuphelelwa lithemba kukhokelela kuphela kolunye usizi. Ngamanye amaxesha, abantu banqwenela kakhulu ukuba amaqabane abo atshintshe de baye kusongela uqhawulo-mtshato okanye uqhawulo mtshato.
Engqondweni yakho, ucinga ukuba ukubasongela ngoqhawulo-mtshato okanye ngokwahlukana kuya kubanyanzela ukuba batshintshe, kodwa kwimeko apho bayavuma, kuya kukwenza uzive umbi kakhulu, kuba ayisiyiyo le nto ubuyijongile.
Ngamafutshane, sukuvumela iimvakalelo zakho ukuba zikongamele.
Ukuba akukho nto isebenza kwaye ufuna ukusebenzela ubudlelwane bakho ukuze ubuphucule, ungasoloko ufuna ukucetyiswa ngomtshato okanye izibini ezitshatileyo.
Inokukunceda ukuba usebenze kwiingxabano kwaye ufike kwisisombululo. Ukuba nobabini nizimisele, umcebisi unokukunceda ukongeza izithako ezifanelekileyo kubudlelwane bakho.
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