Ungazilungisa njani iingxaki zomtshato wakho

Umxholo

• Yeka ukutyhala ukulungisa iingxaki zobudlelwane emtshatweni wakho
• Vumela ukungazithembi kwakho
• Musa ukuvumela umona ukuba ukoyise
• Ungoyisa njani imiba yokusondelelana

Ngaba iingxaki zokusondelana emtshatweni ziluma ulwalamano lwakho?

Dibana noMary. UMary utshatile ngolonwabo kumyeni wakhe wesibini iminyaka emi-4, kwaye ukhulisa abantwana ababini kumtshato wakhe wangaphambili.

Umtshato wokuqala kaMary wasilela kakubi. Yena neqabane lakhe babengahambelani, kodwa yayingeso sizathu sodwa. Endaweni yokonwabela ubomi bekholeji, wakhetha ukutshata eneminyaka eyi-18. Okwangoku, umtshato wakhe wokuqala wamfundisa izifundo ezibalulekileyo ngendlela yokuphila kubudlelwane kunye nendlela yokulungisa iingxaki zomtshato endaweni yokubaleka kubo.

Nantsi into ayifundileyo ngokoyisa iingxaki zokusondelelana emtshatweni

Yeka ukutyhala ukulungisa iingxaki zobudlelwane emtshatweni wakho

Ngexesha lokuzalwa kwabantwana bakaMary, ubudlelwane bakhe batshintsha ngokupheleleyo.

Ukuba nosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa kufuneka lunyamekele, kungokwemvelo ukuba isibini sichithe ixesha elincinci kunye. Kodwa kuye, ukusondelelana kwakuphantse kungabikho.

Kwiminyaka eliqela kamva, waqaphela umkhwa kwindalo iphela phakathi kwamadoda. Bachukumise ukuba benze into kwaye baya kwenza ngokuchaseneyo (... nangona, ngokukaMariya, oku kunokusebenza nakwabasetyhini ngokunjalo).

Kuba wayengaziqondi iingxaki zakhe okanye indlela yokujongana nazo, waba lunyanzelo.

Wayehlala ekhalazela ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo, ebuza iqabane lakhe ukuba alithandeki kuye, ade amtyhole nangokukopa. Akukho namnye kule micimbi wayeyinyani, kodwa yayikukuphela kwendlela awayeyazi ngayo indlela yokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba basaqhuba kakuhle. Wayefuna ukuqinisekiswa.

Ewe, wayeneminyaka eyi-18 kwaye ene-motley yeengxaki zokusondelelana zomtshato ezichaphazela uxolo lwengqondo kunye nolonwabo emtshatweni.

Kwaye okwangoku, kwathatha enye iminyaka eyi-10 ukuba aqonde ukuba eneneni wayenza mandundu imeko. Ngoku uyazi ukuba ukuqonda kunye nomonde linyathelo lokuqala lokulungisa iingxaki zobudlelwane emtshatweni.

Vumela ukungazithembi kwakho

Ukuba ukhe wakhathazeka malunga nokuhamba ze phambi kweqabane lakho, joyina iklabhu.

Ukuxhalaba malunga neempazamo zomzimba ezinjenge-cellulite, amanxeba, i-moles, i-freckles okanye i-veins ebonakalayo, amanqaku okuzolula ayizizo iimpazamo, kodwa ekubeni abantu bexakeke yimifanekiso ye-airbrush, imizimba ejonge ngokugqibeleleyo, umbono ukhokelela kwiingxaki ezinzulu zomtshato phakathi kwabantu abathandanayo.

Kuqhelekile kubafazi (kwaye nangamadoda!) Ukuziva ungakhuselekanga xa unxiba ebusweni beqabane labo. Okubi ngakumbi kukuba ayizizo iimpahla zakho ezikubambezelayo; Luloyiko lwakho olukugcina ekumiseleni unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo olunzulu neqabane lakho. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba awukwazi ukuvula, ngaba ukulungele ngokwenene ukusondelelana?

Ukungabikho kolwalamano olusondeleyo emtshatweni kubangelwe luloyiko olungenasiseko malunga neziphene zomzimba ezingezizo iziphene ezifuna ukulungiswa, ukuqala.

Oko uMariya wakuqondayo ngexesha lomtshato wakhe wangaphambili kukuba amadoda awazikhathalelanga iincopho ze-muffin, ulusu olugugileyo okanye ezinye iimpazamo.

Ubusondeleyo phakathi kwabantu ababini buhamba ngaphaya kweendonga ezinzulu zembonakalo yakho. Ukwamkela obu bulumko kukodwa kunokubulala uninzi lweengxaki zomtshato.

Cinga umgca odumileyo kaJulia Roberts kuEat Thandaza Uthando: “Wakhe wahamba ze phambi komntu waze wacelwa ukuba uhambe?” Akunakulindeleka. Ukungazithembi kunokwenza okubi ngakumbi kunokuba ucinga. Inokubangela imiba yokuthandana njengomsindo, imiba yokuthemba kunye nokungoneliseki ngokubanzi kubudlelwane bakho. Akukho buhlobo emtshatweni buthoba iqhina eliqinisa umtshato.

Isisombululo?

Yamkele into oyiyo-ubomi buxabiseke kakhulu ukuba bungachitheki bungenaxhala lokuba ujongeka njani. Mhlawumbi kulula ukuyithetha kunokwenza, kodwa usukelo ekufanele ukuba ulwele.

Musa ukuvumela umona ukuba ukoyise

Ngexesha leminyaka emibini yokuqala yomtshato wakhe uMary wayetyiwa ngumona kwaye oko kwakhokelela ekubulaweni kweengxaki zokusondelelana komtshato.

Kwaye kwafika kwinqanaba lokuba angathethi nomyeni wakhe wangaphambili kangangeentsuku ukuba ujonge kwelinye icala lentombazana. Ixesha elingaphezulu, le mvakalelo yesikhwele yayingalawuleki kwaye ichaphazele yonke indawo yobudlelwane bakhe. Yayibuhlobo ngaphandle kobuhlobo.Akukho buhlobo kwimiphumo yomtshato kuye. Kungekudala iziphumo zokungabikho kolwalamano olusenyongweni zikhokelele kwiyantlukwano engenakulungiseka, apho ukubuyisela ukusondelelana emtshatweni kubonakala kungabikho etafileni.

Abazange babelane ngamaxesha amaninzi okusondelelana, ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo kwaye ngenxa yoko, bahlukana, kunye neengxaki zobudlelwane bomtshato ezifumana indawo ebalulekileyo ebomini babo.

Ukujika kukaMariya yincoko awayenayo nodadewabo owahamba ngendlela efanayo. ”Uyakuhlala ekhona umntu omhle ngakumbi, okrelekrele ngakumbi nomtsalane ngakumbi kunawe.

Kutheni uchitha ixesha lakho ucinga ngayo? ” Wayenyanisile.

Ukusondelana emtshatweni ayisiyonjongo yakho okanye kwenzeka ntoni phakathi kwamashiti. Ukusondelelana emtshatweni kungokuqondana, ukujonga ngaphaya kokungafezeki komnye umntu obalulekileyo kwaye ekugqibeleni, ukwazana kwinqanaba elinzulu. Umtshato ngaphandle kobudlelwane obusondeleyo ujika ubuthathaka, kunye neengxaki zokuthandana zithatha indawo yothando nothando emtshatweni.

Ungoyisa njani imiba yokusondelelana

Iingxaki zobudlelwane emtshatweni zibandakanya ukuqhuba kakubi ngokwesondo, ukungoneliseki, ukungoneliseki ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo okanye ukuphazamiseka okusondeleyo okuqhubekayo ngenxa yexesha elidlulileyo uloyiko lokuphathwa gadalala okanye ukulahlwa, okanye ukukhathazeka ebuntwaneni - Zonke okanye nayiphi na kwezi meko yenza ukuba kube nzima emntwini ukuseka ukusondelelana neqabane lakhe.

Ukuphendula umbuzo, indlela yokulungisa iingxaki zobudlelwane emtshatweni, kubalulekile ukuqaphela iimpawu zemiba yokusondelelana emtshatweni wakho okanye kubudlelwane.

Ukuba umfazi wakho uyakuphepha ukusondelelana, okanye akukho mtshato emtshatweni wendoda, fumana ukuba kungakanani okuninzi onokukufunda malunga nomntu ochitha ubomi bakho kunye naye, kwaye kungekudala uza kufumanisa ukuba umona, ukunyanzelwa kunye nokungazithembi akukho indawo kubudlelwane obusempilweni nobusenyongweni.

Ukulandela ezi ngcebiso malunga nokubuyisa ubuhlobo emtshatweni kunye nokufuna ingcali kwezonyango kunokukunceda woyise uloyiko lokusondelana kwaye ubuyisele ulonwabo emtshatweni.