Umxholo
- 1. Thatha ixesha lakho
- 2. Qokelela ubungqina bakho
- 3. Yenza uvavanyo
- 4. Jongana neqabane lakho
- 5. Musa ukuzibeka ityala
- 6. Sukubeka umda wexesha kwiintlungu
- 7.Thatha isigqibo sokuba ufuna ntoni kubudlelwane bakho
Ukuqhathwa akuyonto ilula ukuphatha. Ukufunda indlela yokujongana nomkhohlisi kunokukunceda uphinde ubulawule ubomi bakho kwaye kukuncede uthathe isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukuqhubeka njani.
Ngelixa ukujija imoto yomkhohlisi kunokubonakala ngathi kukuziphatha okungathandekiyo, oku akuyi kukunceda ukuba uhambe, kwaye ayizukuziva ungcono ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Iziphumo ezingalunganga zeemvakalelo nezengqondo zokukhohliswa kunokuhlala nawe ubomi bakho bonke. Ukukhohliswa kubangela ukungazithembi, ukungazithembi, ukungathembi, ukungavuleki, kukunika iimvakalelo zokuziva ungaxabisekanga, kwaye kukwenze ubuze ngeempawu zakho nembonakalo yomzimba.
Ukujongana nomkhohlisi kuyaphazamisa ngokweemvakalelo kwaye kunokutshintsha ubuntu bakho kwiminyaka ezayo.
Ngaba ubuza imibuzo ukuba uqhubeke njani emva kokungathembeki kubudlelwane bakho? Nantsi indlela yokujongana nokukopela.
1. Thatha ixesha lakho
Nokuba uthathe isigqibo sokuhlala neqabane lakho lokukhohlisa kwaye usebenze kubudlelwane bakho, kubalulekile ukuba uzinike ixesha lokuzibandakanya.
Iya kukuvumela ukuba udodobalise. Iya kukuvumela ukuba uqokelele iingcinga zakho kwaye uyenze buhlungu imeko. Ukuba ukhethe ukuhlala kunye kwaye ujongane nomkhohlisi, ukuthatha ixesha lokuba wedwa kunokukunceda ukuba ucinge ngokutsha:
- Nokuba uhlala kubudlelwane kuba ungangcono, amaqabane omeleleyo omnye komnye okanye
- ukuba uhlala ulusizi okanye
- kuba ubudlelwane bebuhleli
2. Qokelela ubungqina bakho
Ngaba iqabane lakho liyakopela kubudlelwane, kodwa awukajonganga nalo?
Lixesha lokuba ujonge iindlela zokujongana nomntu okopayo. Lixesha lakho lokuba uqokelele nabuphi na ubungqina onokubufuna ngexesha lokudibana kwakho. Oku kuthetha ukuthatha imifanekiso yescreen yemiyalezo ebhaliweyo, iifoto, iincoko, kunye nokunxibelelana nemithombo yeendaba kwezentlalo onokuthi ukhubeke kuyo phakathi kwamaqela anetyala.
Oku kuyakuvumela ukuba ujongane ngokukhawuleza nomntu okopayo ukumisa ubuxoki beqabane lakho, ukuba banokukhetha ukukhanyela nakuphi na ukubandakanyeka kunye nesithandwa sabo semfihlo.
3. Yenza uvavanyo
Ukuba iqabane lakho likuxokisile malunga nokuba uhlala neqabane elinye, ngubani oza kuthi khange abenamalungu amaninzi ngaphandle kolwazi lwakho?
Ukuvavanyelwa izifo ezosulela ngokwabelana ngesondo kubalulekile emva kokuba ukhohlisiwe. Yiya kugqirha wakho ucele ukuvavanywa. Iiklinikhi zasimahla kunye namaziko ezempilo ezesondo anikezela ngovavanyo lwee-STD, i-HIV kunye neHepatitis.
Kuya kufuneka uzikhusele, nokuba iqabane lakho lithi 'likhuselekile' ngexesha lokungathembeki. Inkcazo yabo yesondo ekhuselekileyo inokwahluka kakhulu kweyakho.
Ukuba ukhethe ukujongana nomkhohlisi ngokuhlala neqabane, oko kukuthi, ukukopela umfazi okanye umyeni, bacele ukuba nabo bavavanywe ukuze uphinde uqalise ubudlelwane bakho ngokwesondo ngaphandle kwexhala.
4. Jongana neqabane lakho
Jongana neqabane lakho malunga nokungathembeki kwabo. Oku kuyabavumela ithuba lokuba bathethelele ityala labo kuwe kwaye nawe ucace gca malunga neemvakalelo zakho. Iimvakalelo zakho zokungcatshwa, umsindo, ukuthotywa kunye nokwenzakala kufanele ukuba kucace.
Eli likwalithuba lokuba ubazise ukuba uceba ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane. Ayisiyonto ithi ukuba ugqiba ekubeni usebenze kubudlelwane bakho kunye, intombi yakho ekopelayo okanye isoka lakho maliphelise umcimbi lowo.
5. Musa ukuzibeka ityala
Isizathu sokuba abakhohlisi bagqibe ekubeni bathathe indlela yokungathembeki kwaye bazonwabise ngemicimbi banokunxibelelana nawe kancinci, ukuba akukho nto. Ukukopa kulwalamano sisenzo sokuzingca apho umntu azicingela yedwa.
Nangona kunjalo, abaninzi basakufumanisa ukuqonda 'kutheni' njengenxalenye ebalulekileyo yenkqubo yokulila.
Zama konke okusemandleni akho ukungazibeki tyala ngesenzo. Rhoqo ukukopa kukuphendula kwinto engahambi kakuhle kubudlelwane. Kuyakhuthazwa ukuba amaqabane ahlale phantsi kwaye ancokole ngokunyanisekileyo malunga neemfuno ezingekhoyo.
Ukuba iqabane lakho elingathembekanga belixinezelekile, bekufanele ukuba bakuxelele ngaphambili. Ngenxa yoko, kufuneka babuphelise ubudlelwane ngaphambi kokulala nomntu omtsha.
6. Sukubeka umda wexesha kwiintlungu
Intlungu yintlungu. Umda wexesha awuyi kuyinciphisa intlungu okanye ukungcatshwa oziva emva kokukhohliswa. Intlungu yinkqubo yomntu eya kuthatha ixesha. Ubudlelwane obutsha kunye nezinye iziphazamiso azizukuhamba ngokukhawuleza.
7.Thatha isigqibo sokuba ufuna ntoni kubudlelwane bakho
Ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokujongana nomkhohlisi, zinike ixesha lokucinga ngokunyanisekileyo ngezibonelelo kunye nomngcipheko wokuhlala kubudlelwane.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uhambisa luphi ulwalathiso, kuya kufuneka unyaniseke ngokwakho malunga neemfuno zakho kunye neemfuno zakho kubudlelwane ukusukela ngoku. Xa ucinga ngokuhlala kubudlelwane nomntu okukhohlisileyo, zibuze le mibuzo:
- Ngaba ndingalixolela iqabane lam elingathembekanga?
Ukuba ukhetha ukuhlala kubudlelwane bakho, ngaba ungalixolela ngokwenyani iqabane lakho eliqhathayo? Ulwalamano lwakho alusoze luphumelele ukuba awukwazi ukuxolela isenzo ngokwaso.
Emva kwenkqubo yakho yokuba lusizi, ngokuqhubekayo uzisa ukungaziphathi kakuhle kunye nombuzo, "Ngaba umntu okopayo angatshintsha?" iya kusebenza kuphela ekonakaleni nasekulimazeni omabini amaqela.
- Ngaba ndingaphinda ndithembele iqabane lam kwakhona?
Nje ukuba ukhohlise, uhlala umkhohlisi. Ke, xa ukuthembana kulahlekile, kubonakala kunzima ukuyifumana kwakhona. Umyeni okanye inkosikazi yakho ekopayo kuya kufuneka isebenze i-24/7 ukuphumelela ukuthembela kwakho kwakhona.
Kuya kufuneka bazame ukuphelisa zonke iindlela zokuziphatha zabakhohlisi kwaye babe selubala ngokupheleleyo kunye neendawo abahlala kuzo kunye nonxibelelwano de ube uzive ukhululekile kwaye ukhuselekile kubudlelwane bakho kwakhona.
- Ngaba siya kufuna iingcebiso ukuba sihlala kunye?
Jonga imiqondiso yokukhohlisa. Uxolelo yindlela enzima, kodwa inokwenziwa. Le ndlela yenza kube lula kwizibini ezitshatileyo ngokuya kwiingcebiso zezibini kunye nokuvula malunga nezinto ezithandwa liqela ngalinye kunye nokusilela kulwalamano lwabo lwangoku.
- Luya kuchaphazeleka njani usapho / abantwana kwisigqibo sakho sokuhlala kunye / sokuqhawuka?
Ukuzisa abantwana kubudlelwane kudala yonke into entsha yokuqwalaselwa. Ukwahlukana kuza kubachaphazela njani? Ungazama njani ukugcina uzinzo lwabazali ngeli xesha linzima?
Xa umbuzo ukuba ujongana njani nomntu okopayo, zininzi iimpawu zomfazi okopayo okanye indoda okanye imiqondiso yokukopela ekufuneka uyiqwalasele xa ucinga ngokuhlala okanye ukuhamba.
Kukho ukungathandeki ngokweemvakalelo kokukhethwa kuzo zombini iindlela. Abanye bakhetha ukuhlala bazame ukomeleza ubudlelwane babo. Abanye bakhetha ukushiya kwaye balandele ubudlelwane bezothando nomntu oya kuhlonipha ukuthembeka kwabo kunye nokunyaniseka.
U-Lucy, kwintetho yakhe ye-TEDx malunga nezibini ezihamba nabantu abatshatileyo abajongana nokukopela, ukungathembeki, kunye nokungcatsha ngemizekelo yokwenyani.
Kukhetho lwakho ukuba yeyiphi indlela oyithathayo yokujongana nomntu okopayo. Qiniseka ukuba iziphumo zakho zilungele wena kunye nolonwabo lwakho.