Umxholo
- Buyintoni ukusondelelana kubudlelwane?
- Zeziphi iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokusondelelana?
- Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo: Kuqinisa ubudlelwane phakathi kwesi sibini
- Ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni: Imfuno esisiseko yokwenza ubudlelwane buphumelele
- Ukusondelelana kwengqondo: Inkululeko yokuveza izimvo zonxibelelwano olungcono
- Ngaba amanqanaba omeleleyo obudlelwane obusondeleyo abukhulisa njani ubudlelwane?
- 5 Ababulali abasondeleyo kubudlelwane
- 1. Umlingane uqhagamshela kunye nelangatye elidala
- 2. Iqabane eligcina ubukrakra
- 3. Abathethi ngeminqweno yesini
- 4. Ukunqongophala kokuzonwabisa
- 5. Ukuzingca
- Ngaba ubudlelwane bungaphila ngaphandle kobuhlobo?
- Ungaloyisa njani uloyiko lokusondelelana?
- Ungabakha njani ubuhlobo phakathi kwakho?
- Yise kude
Inkcazo eyinyani yokusondelelana ayinakuchazwa ngamagama ngokufanelekileyo. Yimeko yengqondo apho omabini amaqabane aziva esondele kakhulu, enamathele omnye komnye, kwaye ekwabelana ngemvakalelo yokuba lilungu.
Ukusondelana konke malunga nokuziva uphila, umxholo, ukonwaba, kwaye kwangaxeshanye, ukuba sesichengeni. Yimeko yobudlelwane engenakufezekiswa ngokukhawuleza. Kuthatha ixesha ukukhula ngokuthe ngcembe, apho abantu ababini banamathela ngokusondeleyo omnye komnye.
Imiphefumlo yethu inqwenela ukusondelelana
—U-Erwin Raphael McManus
Buyintoni ukusondelelana kubudlelwane?
Xa sicinga ngokusondelelana, ngokuzenzekelayo, sithambekele ekulinganiseni ngesondo okanye ukusondela emzimbeni.
Nangona ukusondelelana kubandakanya zonke ezi zinto, kunoko kungaphezulu kokuba sisondo. Inenjongo enkulu apho ukuqondana kunye nokuxhomekeka kuxhomekeke khona.
Nangona singenakukutyeshela ukubaluleka kokusondelelana ngokomzimba kubudlelwane obusempilweni, ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo yeyona nto iphambili yokuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni neqabane lakho.
Zeziphi iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokusondelelana?
Kukuthini ukusondelelana kubudlelwane okanye xa usebudlelwaneni? Ngaba uyazi ukuba kukho iindidi ezahlukeneyo zobudlelwane phakathi kwamaqabane?
Ukubandakanya ukudibana ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwesondo, kwengqondo, okanye ngokwasengqondweni, ukusondelelana kubudlelwane kunento ebanzi. Xa kufikwa kumba wokuba nomtshato ophumeleleyo okanye ubudlelwane bokutshata, iimvakalelo, umzimba, ngokomoya nangokwengqondo, ukusondelelana kufanele kusebenze ngoxolo.
Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane yinto eyimfuneko ekuphuhliseni ingqondo edibanisa unxibelelwano lomzimba, oluyinto yethu yokuqala yokucinga ngokusondela emntwini.
Yimeko yovuyo apho isibini sinxibelelana kunye kwinqanaba leemvakalelo ngaphandle kwazo naziphi na iingxaki zehlabathi.
Uziva usondelene omnye nomnye ngokwabelana ngeminqweno yakho, iimvakalelo zakho, amaphupha akho, iminqweno yakho, iimfihlo zakho, kwaye ngale nkqubo, usengozini komnye nomnye. Ke, ikhemistry iyakha phakathi kwesi sibini.
Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane kukhulisa ubudlelwane.
Ukuze ube nokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo, awudingi ukuba uchithe iiyure kunye. Ukuchitha nje imizuzu eli-10 yexesha elisemgangathweni kunye okanye ukuncedana ngemisebenzi yasekhaya nako kunokuphucula ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo.
Kubangela ukuthembana, ukuqonda, ukwamkelwa, kwaye kukwenza uzive uqhagamshelene ngakumbi omnye nomnye.
Ukusuka kuthando, uthando, ukuthandana, isondo ukuya ngokomoya, ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubandakanya yonke imvakalelo ebalulekileyo yokugcina umtshato wakho okanye ubudlelwane bomelele. Xa uthando lwezesondo kunye neminqweno iphela ngokuguga, kuphela kukutsala ngokweemvakalelo okuhlala kwaye kudibanisa isibini esisezantsi.
Yindlela enamandla neqhelekileyo yokubonisa uthando okusondeza kwiqabane lakho. Ayisiyokwabelana ngesondo kuphela okanye ukwenza; ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kungaphezulu kokulalana nje.
Oku kukwenza ukholelwe ukuba ubalulekile kwaye unendawo ekhethekileyo entliziyweni yakho kwiqabane lakho.
Ukungenisa kwakho, ukuzinikela, ukuba lilungu lomnye umntu, ukuphelelwa lithemba omnye komnye-yonke into ibonakala xa usondelene neqabane lakho.
Ngaphandle kwekhemesti yezesondo, ukuthambisa umqolo ngokulula, ukuphulula umzimba ngothando, ukubambana ngezandla, ukwangana okufudumeleyo, okanye ukwanga okumnandi kukwajongwa njengeendlela zokwabelana ngesondo.
Ukusuka ekoyiseni ukungazithembi kunye nokuthomalalisa ukungafani ukuziva ukufudumala kothando, ukusondelelana ngokomzimba kunendima enkulu kubudlelwane.
Ngaphandle kolwalamano olusenyongweni kubudlelwane, umtshato okanye ubudlelwane abunakuchuma kwaye buqhubeke ngokufanelekileyo.
Ividiyo engezantsi ixoxa ngobuchwephesha bukaJohn Kironde besikhumba ukucamngca ngolusu ukuphucula ukusondelana ngokomzimba kulwalamano. Yizame:
Ukusondelelana kwengqondo kubudlelwane kunivumela nobabini ukuba nibelane ngeengcinga nangezimvo ngokukhululekileyo, nokuba izimvo zakho zahlukile njani.
Xa abantu ababini benxibelelana ngokwasengqondweni, baziva bekhuselekile kwaye bekhululekile ekwabelaneni ngezimvo zabo nangawo nawuphi na umcimbi, ngaphandle koloyiko lweziphumo. Ukusuka kwezopolitiko, ukukhulisa abantwana, kunye nenkcitho yosapho ukuya kwimicimbi yamanye amazwe, banokuchaza ngokukhululekileyo izimvo zabo baphikisane.
Konke malunga nokuziva ukhuselekile ngelixa uveza izimvo ngaphandle koloyiko lokugwetywa liqabane lakho, kwaye lwenza unxibelelwano lusebenze kwaye lomeleze umtshato wakho okanye ubudlelwane bothando.
Ngaba amanqanaba omeleleyo obudlelwane obusondeleyo abukhulisa njani ubudlelwane?
Kukuthini ukusondelelana kubudlelwane, inokuba yeyabantu abatshatileyo, usapho kunye nabahlobo? Ukusondelelana nomnye umntu kukunika ntoni kunye nolwalamano? Impendulo ecacileyo lulwalamano olomeleleyo.
Kubaluleke kangakanani ukusondelelana kubudlelwane yenye yezihloko ekuxoxwa kakhulu ngazo.
Njengoko sivunyelwe ukuzinikela ngentliziyo iphela komnye umntu, ivula ifestile yentlonipho, uthando nokuqonda. Ngale nto, ukusondelelana kubophelela abantu kunye ekuqondeni okunzulu.
Ukuba siyakwazi ukuyikhathalela le nto, oko kungaqinisekisa ukudibana okuhlala ixesha elide phakathi kwakho nabantu obakhathaleleyo. Esi sizathu sokuba ukusondelelana yenye yezona zinto zixabisekileyo emtshatweni nakubudlelwane.
5 Ababulali abasondeleyo kubudlelwane
Kukho izinto ezahlukeneyo ezinokubulala ukusondelelana kwaye zenze ubudlelwane bube muncu. Ezinye zezikhalazo eziqhelekileyo kunye nemicimbi yomtshato iphantsi:
1. Umlingane uqhagamshela kunye nelangatye elidala
Ukusondelelana phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo kuya kubhubha nelinye lamaqabane abandakanyeka kwisenzo sangaphandle komtshato. Oku akubulali nje kuphela ukusondelelana kodwa kwenza ubudlelwane bube krakra.
2. Iqabane eligcina ubukrakra
Kunokubakho iingxaki ngenxa apho iqabane liba krakra. Isenokuba ngenxa yemeko ethile okanye incoko engakhange ixoxwe kwaye ikhokelele ekubunjweni.
3. Abathethi ngeminqweno yesini
Ukuba abantu abatshatileyo abathethi ngeminqweno yabo yesini, ngekhe kubekhona ubudlelwane phakathi kwabo. Kubalulekile ukuba uvuleke malunga neemfuno zakho kunye neminqweno yakho ukuze umtshato uphumelele.
4. Ukunqongophala kokuzonwabisa
Intwana encinci yentlantsi ihlala ifuneka ukugcina ubudlelwane bunomdla. Xa kungekho adventure okanye into yothusayo ishiyekile kulwalamano, ubudlelwane buba butyhafisayo kwaye ukusondelelana kuyafa.
5. Ukuzingca
Ukuzingca kunokuba yinto enokwenzeka ukuba ulwalamano lufe, kwaye ke, ukusondelelana. Ukuba elinye iqabane lishiya ulwalamano kwaye liyeke ukucinga njengeqela, imeko yethu yokuqala iyafa kwaye omabini amaqabane ayayeka ukuziva esondele.
Ngaba ubudlelwane bungaphila ngaphandle kobuhlobo?
Ukusondelelana kubudlelwane yeyona ntsika ibalulekileyo yobudlelwane obusempilweni, nokuba ngumtshato okanye ubudlelwane bothando. Ukusondelelana kunceda omabini amaqabane ukuba aqonde indlela abaluleke ngayo omnye komnye.
Nokuba zininzi kangakanani iintsilelo okanye ukusikelwa umda esinako, sihlala sinqwenela ukwamkelwa nokuthandwa ngamaqabane ethu. Ukugcina bucala yonke iyantlukwano yakho kubudlelwane obuphilileyo, ukuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni, kokubini ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, kunyanzelekile.
Xa sikubudlelwane, ukusondelelana yinto esiyinqwenelayo, ke ngaphandle kwale mvakalelo imnandi, ukugcina ubudlelwane bexesha elide akunakwenzeka. Nje ukuba wazi ukubaluleka kweentlobo ezahlukeneyo zobuhlobo, kungcono uqale usebenze ngokufumanisa eyona nto isebenzayo kulwalamano lwakho kuba iimfuno zezibini ezahlukileyo zinokwahluka.
Ungaloyisa njani uloyiko lokusondelelana?
Ukusondelelana yimvakalelo entle, eyona nto ifanelekileyo ukuba sifuna ukuqiniseka ukuba sinolwalamano oluhlala ixesha elide. Kodwa intle njengoko inokubonakala-ukusondelelana nako kuyabothusa abanye abantu.
Inyani yile, ayingabo bonke abantu abazimiseleyo ukusondelelana kwaye bakhuselekile ngamava adlulileyo. Kubo, ukusondelelana nokuba kunye namaqabane abo kuya kuthetha ukuba baya kuyeka ukulinda kwaye bangonzakala ngokulula kwaye baphinde basebenzise kwakhona.
Njengemicimbi yokuthembana, ukusondelelana kubudlelwane kunzima kwabanye abantu. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubo, kunzima ukufumana hayi ukuthembela kwabo kuphela, kodwa nentumekelelo yokuba nolwalamano nabo.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba unoloyiko lokusondela kubudlelwane, cinga ukwenza oku kulandelayo:
- Nxibelelana neqabane lakho malunga nemeko yakho kunye nokuba yintoni kanye kanye ebangela impendulo xa bezama ukusondelelana nawe. Musa ukuzigcina ebumnyameni.
- Musa ukuzibeka phantsi koxinzelelo. Awufezekanga kwaye kulungile. Vumela ixesha elithile kwaye uthathe ixesha lokuphilisa.
- Qonda oyena nobangela. Ngena kwixa elidlulileyo kwaye wazi ukuba yintoni engakusebenzeliyo. Ngaba luloyiko oludlulileyo okanye uloyiko olungaziwayo. Yiya kwesona sizathu sokusombulula umba.
- Funa uncedo kwiingcali malunga nemeko yakho hleze ibe yinto enzulu. Iingcali zempilo yengqondo zinokukunceda ekuchongeni ingxaki kwaye zinike isisombululo esifanelekileyo okanye unyango.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ukoyika Ukusondelelana: Yonke into ekufuneka uyazi
Ungabakha njani ubuhlobo phakathi kwakho?
Ukuba okwangoku ukuthandana ungenalo ulwalamano olusenyongweni, uyazi ukuba luyintoni ulwalamano olusenyanisweni kubudlelwane kwaye uyazi ukuba ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba ngumceli mngeni. Kukho izinto ezinokubangela ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo.
Ke, uqinisekisa njani ukuba wena neqabane lakho niza kuqhubeka ninobudlelwane obusondeleyo?
- Thatha kancinci, ngakumbi xa usekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Ukusondelelana akukaze kungxanyelwe, ke vumanani niyakhe kancinci.
- Yakha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nezinto ezilula kuqala njengokuzama ukuqala iincoko ngobomi bakho namaphupha akho njalo njalo. Kwakhona, yiba nomonde kwaye ungangxami.
- Hlonipha iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho. Kukho amaxesha apho iqabane lakho lingaziva ngathi lisondele okanye ungaziva ngathi uyakhukuliseka-hlonipha isizathu kwaye usebenze kuso.
- Okokugqibela, yiba nolwazelelelo kwiimvakalelo zomnye nomnye. Ukuba uhambelana neemvakalelo zakho, kunokwenzeka, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba ubenomdla kwiimvakalelo zeqabane lakho. Yinkqubo yokunika kunye nokuthatha.
Yise kude
Ngamnye kuthi unokwahluka kancinci kwizimvo malunga nokusondelelana.
Kodwa, nokuba singanemibono eyahlukileyo, okubalulekileyo kukuba siyakwazi ukuqonda ukubaluleka kwayo hayi kuthi kuphela kodwa kubantu esibathandayo kwaye okoko nje sikwazi ukubonakalisa intlonipho nothando lokungazingci, ulwalamano lokwenyani uhlala ulapho.