Umxholo
Xa iTyelelo leMfihlakalo loMtshato lisiya kushicilelo, mna no-Alan sasingenalo nofifi lokuba liza kuba nini ityala lethu. Eli libali lokuthembeka kukaThixo kuthi ngomlilo wolo vavanyo.
Lo mlilo uqale kwigumbi lokulinda esibhedlele ngentsimbi ye-9: 30 ebusuku. ngoSeptemba 4, 2009.
Mna noAlan sasilindele iziphumo zotyando lwesisu lonyana wethu uJosh. Ekhatshwa ngumfundisi wasesibhedlele, ugqirha otyandayo ugqirha uDebora McClary wangena wathi, “Le nto ayikhange ihambe njengoko bendilindele.
UJoshua uzele ngumhlaza. ” Mna noAlan sawa sodwa.
Emva koko wayeneminyaka engama-31 ubudala, uJosh wayelungiselela ukuhambisa i-Iraq kunye neyunithi yakhe yoLondolozo lukaZwelonke. Kodwa kulandela ukudibana okungasemva emotweni yakhe, weva iintlungu ezingapheliyo esiswini.
Ukrokrela ukuba ifuthe le-airbag lenze i-fistula, inyembezi kwizicubu ezibuthathaka phakathi kwamathumbu kunye namathumbu akhe. Wayekhathazwe kangangeminyaka yi-ulcerative colitis, uJosh wayesebenze nzima ukoyisa ingxaki yakhe yokwetyisa.
Esoyika ukuthintela amandla akhe okuhambisa, waye wakuphepha ukubona ugqirha, kodwa ngokucacileyo, ku-Alan nakum, wayegula-enefiva kwaye ephindwe kabini ngenxa yeentlungu.
Sanyanzelisa ukuba ahlolwe, kwaye iNkosi yasikhokelela kugqirha onobuchule nonovelwano. Waye waqonda imeko enzulu kaJosh kwaye wayirhoxisa intlanganiso yokumbona.
Emva koviwo, ndacela ukuthandaza. Wathi ewe. Ndathandaza ndaza ndajonga phezulu ukuze ndibone uGqirha McClary eguqe phambi kukaJosh ebeke isandla edolweni.
INkosi yayisazi ukuba sizakufuna ugqirha owomeleleyo ongumKristu ukuba ahambe nathi kwinto ezayo.
Sixoxe ngezona meko zimbi. UJosh woyika i-colostomy enokwenzeka, ukususwa kwenxalenye eyonakeleyo yekolon yakhe kunye nokubuyela umva ngokuvula esiswini sakhe ukuvumela isisu sakhe esigulayo kunye ne-rectum ukuba inyange.
Zange khe sikrokrele ukuba isifo sakhe sokudumba kolusu besele sikhokelele ekusasazeni ngobuqhetseba komaleko omncinci womhlaza. Kwakunqande ukubhaqwa ngoviwo oluqhelekileyo lwezonyango, kodwa ke lwalufumene uninzi lwezicubu zokwetyisa ezantsi kweqhosha lesisu sakhe.
Ingxowa eyoyikekayo yecostostomy yaba yeyona incinci ekukhathazekeni kukaJosh.
Iinkcukacha zomlo kaJosh womhlaza zingazalisa imiqulu: indlela awayenomsindo ngayo ngathi ngokulinda ukusuka nge-10: 30 ebusuku. kude kube yi-4 kusasa ukumxelela ukuba uxilongiwe, engazi ukuba ulivile igama elithi "umhlaza" lisebeza kwigumbi lokubuyisela.
Sifunde njani kunye ukutshintsha iingxowa zakhe ze-colostomy kunye nokucoca i-stoma yakhe; indlela ichemotherapy emenze wazibulala ngayo; wayifuna ngamandla indlela yokunyanga isifo sakhe; indlela awayezama ngayo ukufumana amayeza eentlungu kangangoko.
Intlungu ibinokumoyisa de abe ukrwitshile ephithizela phantsi; indlela awaphule ngayo izinto ngomsindo kwintlungu yakhe; indlela esakhala ngayo; ukanti indlela ebesakwazi ngayo ukundenza ukuba ndihleke kude kube ngumhla wakhe wokugqibela emhlabeni.
Kwaye yaphela njani ngo-2: 20 kusasa nge-22 kaJulayi ngo-2010, xa iNkosi yaphakamisa umoya kaJosh kumzimba wakhe odiniweyo, owaphukileyo wamzisa ekhaya.
Nangona kunjalo, Eli nqaku limalunga nomtshato, kwaye sifuna ukuchaza into eyenziwe yiNkosi ku-Alan nakum ngemiceli mngeni yeli dabi.
Ukubuyela umva
Ubomi bethu babudidekile ngexesha lokuvela komhlaza kaJosh.
Kwiminyaka emithathu ngaphambili, ngethemba lokungena kwinqanaba lomgangatho wobulungiseleli bomtshato kwindawo eselula, mna no-Alan sathenga indlu entsha kwisakhiwo esicocekileyo sophuhliso oluziimayile ezingama-40 kwintshona yalapho sasichithe khona iminyaka engama-25 eyadlulayo.
Simfanyekiswe ziinkwenkwezi ngamehlo ethu, satyibilika kumkhenkce ocekeceke ngokwasezimalini. Ikhaya lethu langaphambili sasiligcina njengerenti kodwa sasinengxaki ekuligcineni. Xa abantu abaqeshiweyo bemkayo, kuye kwafuneka sibhatale imali mboleko ezimbini kunye neefizi zombutho wabanini bamakhaya.
Emva koko umbutho wethu ongajonganga kwenza nzuzo, i-Walk & Talk, waphulukana nomnikeli ophambili, kwaye indawo yokufundela apho u-Alan wayesebenza khona ngokusisigxina wasisusa isikhundla sakhe.
Ukukhula koluntu lwethu olutsha kunciphise uqoqosho kunye nethemba lethu lokutyala icawa kunye nokukhulisa inkonzo apho yaphela.
Ukuhamba ixesha elide kuhola wendlela ohamba ungena emsebenzini wam njengomhleli wephephancwadi onxulumene noko kuyithathile impilo yam. Ukuchongwa nge-Multiple Sclerosis ngo-2004, ndandisiya emzimbeni, engqondweni nangokweemvakalelo ngenxa yoxinzelelo lomsebenzi.
UAlan uqhube uhambo olude nangaphezulu. Ukunciphisa iindleko, sathengisa imoto yakhe. Undikhaphile ndaya emsebenzini wandilanda. Rhoqo ndandidinwe ndiyimfe ndingalungisi isidlo sangokuhlwa. UAlan wenza amalungiselelo okutya kunye nokucoca, kwaye ndaziva ndinetyala ngokumvumela akwenze.
I-MS ichaphazele ubuchule bam bokuqonda kunye nememori yexesha elifutshane, indenza ndenze iimpazamo emsebenzini. Kwaye umsebenzi wam yayikukulungisa iimpazamo, ndingazenzi!
Ndicetyiswe ngabasebenzi ukuba ndifune izibonelelo zokukhubazeka, ndibize eli phephancwadi kunye nomntu endimthandayo endiza kuhlala naye ngo-Agasti ka-2008. Siphulukene nesiqingatha somvuzo wam safumana uxanduva lweepesenti ezili-100 zeinshurensi yezempilo.
UAlan wazama ukuyiphucula le ndlu intsha kodwa watsho phantsi. Ukuphelelwa lithemba, sikudwelise kunye nomrhwebi ojolise kwintengiso emfutshane, ngamava athobekileyo.
Sathuthuzeleka xa ibhanki yamkela umthengi kwaye saqala ukulungiselela ukubuyela kwethu ePhoenix, ebesizimisele ukuyenza xa iphele indawo yokuqesha kwabaqeshi. Kwakusekuqaleni kuka-Agasti 2009.
NgoJanuwari, kwiinyanga nje ezisibhozo ngaphambili, ndandifote uJosh engqiyame ngeHonda Prelude yakhe yasebukhosini, onwabile kwaye ezithembile. Wayesandula ukubuya ngonyaka njengonokontraka kaRhulumente eIraq.
Wayenemali ebhankini kunye nokukhetha i-zillion kwikamva lakhe. Icandelo lakhe loLondolozo lukaZwelonke lalelwa ukuba lisebenze ngelixa wayephesheya kwezilwandle. Wayenenyanga ezilithoba zokulungiselela ukubuyela eIraq, esithi kufuneka "abe sempilweni."
Ukukhupha ngaphantsi kwamehlo akhe angaphandle, ikholoni kaJosh yamnika uxolo oluncinci, kwaye wazama olunye unyango emva kolunye.
Wayebaleka eqhuba kade ukuya kwiseshoni ye-naturopathy xa umqhubi phambi kwakhe wabetha iziqhoboshi zakhe ngesibane esimthubi njengoko uJosh wayedubula ukuyiqhuba. Kwakungo-Agasti 17, 2009.
Ukuvavanya amaqhina
U-Isaya 43: 2-3a uthi:
Xa uthi uwele emanzini, ndoba nawe;
Naphezu kwemilambo, ayiyi kukukhukulisa.
Nditsho sowucand 'emlilweni, soze urhawuke;
Nelangatye aliyi kukutshisa.
Ngokuba ndinguYehova, uThixo wakho;
NgoyiNgcwele kaSirayeli uMsindisi wakho.
Ukutyhubela iinyanga zokujamelana nokugula (umhlaza kaJosh) ukusukela ekufeni kwakhe, yonke imigaqo ephambili noAlan esiyixoxe kuTyelelo loMtshato olufihlakeleyo luye lwavavanywa, lwazanywa, lwangqinwa emtshatweni wethu.
- IComradeship
Ekuqaleni, ukothuka nokuguliswa kukugula kukaJosh kwasiphosisa noAlan.
Sasibanjwe kukuphazamiseka okungathethekiyo, saphoswa elwandle sisuka kwinqanawa yethu eyayizika ngokwasezimalini saya kwiingcango ezimhlophe zeengxaki zikaJosh. Siye sabambelela kwinkxaso, kwaye sabambana ngentloko ngaphezulu kwamanzi.
Kodwa akubanga thuba lide ngaphambi kokuba ubuntu bukaJosh, iimfuno zonyango, kunye neemfuno zeemvakalelo zatshatana phakathi kwethu. Sasijongana kwaye simelana nokugula konyana wethu owayenee-quirks ezininzi.
Weza esibhedlele elungele ukujongana nokuchacha emva koqhaqho esiswini kunye "nokufunda okuncinci" ukugcina ingqondo yakhe ixakekile - imbali kaWalter J. Boyne Ingxelo yamanqwanqwa yamaphiko: iMfazwe yesibini yeHlabathi eMoyeni.
Ndimfundele ngokuvakalayo ... ngentsimbi yesi-2 kusasa njengoko wayebala imizuzwana de wabetha i-morphine elandelayo. Ngaphantsi koozy kunokuba ndandilindele ukuba abe njalo, walungisa ukubizwa kwam kwamagama esiJamani, isiFrentshi kunye nesiCzechoslovakian, esongeza amagqabantshintshi malunga nokuchaneka kombhali.
Wakhalaza ngelithi isikhululo sabongikazi esingaphandle komnyango wakhe sasinengxolo kakhulu. Igumbi lakhe belishushu kakhulu, libanda kakhulu, likhanya kakhulu.
Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezizayo, ndazama ukugcina uJosh ekhululekile ngelixa u-Alan ezama ukundikhusela ekuzithobeni ngokuzikhathaza kwimpilo yam.
Kodwa bendifuna ukuva lonke igama elithethwa ngoogqirha, ukwamkela lonke undwendwe, ukudibana nawo wonke umongikazi. Lo yayilizibulo lethu.
Besisesibhedlele xa ndifumana umnxeba ovela kubhuti. Umama wam oneminyaka engama-84 wayeswelekile. Kwiiveki ezimbini kamva, usapho lwethu (kubandakanya uJosh) lwabhabha laya ePennsylvania kuMngcwabo kaMama (Utshintsho lwengcinezelo yomoya kwi-cabin yodwa yayinguJosh.)
Sabuya kolo hambo sachitha iveki elandelayo sipakisha okwethu noJosh ukubuyela ePhoenix. Abaqeshi bethu babelindele umntwana kwiiveki ezimbalwa, ke saqesha indlu komnye umntu.
Josh ngelixa ukujamelana nokugula wayenobuchule bokuqhuba umda phakathi kuka-Alan nam. Ndicinga ukuba ngamnye kubo wayefuna ukuba ndibengumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni. Babengabantu abadala abangamadoda abahlala phantsi kophahla olunye.
Naxa wayesempilweni, uJosh wayegcina iiyure zesikhova ezingalindelekanga, elala emini, etyelela nabahlobo kude kube sebusuku. Ukugula kwakhe kwaphazamisa indlela yakhe yokulala, kwaye wayeza kuthumela ku-Facebook kwaye abhale ii-imeyile ngeeyure.
UAlan yintaka yakwangoko- kwangethuba ebhedini nasekuqaleni ukuvuka. Usemandleni akhe kwaye uqaqambile ekuzeni kokusa kwaye uphulukana nomphunga njengoko imini iphela.
Utyekelo lwam lwendalo lufana nolukaJosh. Ezi patheni zizodwa zanele ukuseta inqanaba lempixano. Rhoqo mna noJosh sasihlala sithe qwa sincokola okanye sisela iti okanye sibukele iinkqubo ezingaqhelekanga ze-TV ezinje ngo "Mpheki Wentsimbi" kudala elele u-Alan.
Ngelishwa, umabonwakude wethu kuphela wayekwigumbi lokuhlala, lahlulwe kwigumbi lokulala eliyintloko ngodonga olucekeceke ngephepha.
UJosh wanyanzelisa ukuba uza kuwubetha umhlaza, kodwa andinakuyikhanyela indlela amabi ngayo awayechasene naye. Ndizamile ukuwenza wonke umzuzu endinawo naye. UAlan, nangona kunjalo, wayengekho kwiphepha elinye.
Wayefuna uJosh agcine ucoceko lwasekhaya, into uJosh ebengathandi okanye engakwazi ukuyenza ukusukela xa wayesemncinci.
Iziduli ezikhulu zezinto zikaJosh, esasizifudusele ngaphandle kweflethi yakhe ngeebhokisi, iikreyiti, imiboko, neengxowa zenkunkuma, zazalisa igaraji yethu; kwaye ukupaka iimoto zethu esitratweni yayiyeyona nto iphikisanayo nombutho wabanini bamakhaya.
Uxinzelelo lwaqhekeka emoyeni. UJosh noAlan baxambulisana. Ndizamile ukuzicacisa omnye komnye. Ngamanye amaxesha, uJosh wayebhekisa kuAlan “njengendoda yakho” kwaye wandixelela ukuba bayakuxolelaniswa ezulwini kodwa hayi apha emhlabeni.
Ndandisazi ukuba bayathandana; babonakala bengayibonakalisi ngaphandle kokukhubekisana kwinkqubo.
Ukanti kwiintsuku ezintathu ngaphambi kokuba uJosh asweleke, xa oogqirha basusa ityhubhu yokuphefumla emqaleni wakhe, wajonga kum noAlan wathi, “Ndiyakuthanda, Mama. Ndiyakuthanda, Tata. Haleluya! ”
Ke ulwalamano lweComradeship lubonakala njani kwesi siphithiphithi? Ndiyakholelwa ukuba isiseko sobuhlobo kunye no-Alan sandibeka kwangoko kulwalamano lwethu siwubambile umtshato wethu xa yonke enye into eyayisingqongile yayisiba buthuntu kwaye isinceda ekulweni nokugula konyana wethu ..
Ngoku, ngaphezulu konyaka emva kokubhubha kukaJosh, sakha kwakhona kwisiseko sobuhlobo. Siye sazanyazanyiswa sobabini, kodwa asikaze sibuze ukuthembeka komnye nomnye.
Siye sathetha samamela sanqwala ngentloko sathuthuzela. Siye sakhuzana umqolo, saphathana amagxa neenyawo.
Ngenye imva kwemini kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, xa ndandikwindawo emnyama, etshinyeneyo ngokwasemphefumlweni, uAlan wacebisa, "Masikhe siqhube." Wanyanzelisa ukuba ndingene emotweni saya eCamp Verde, malunga neyure emantla ePhoenix.
Ufumene uKumkanikazi wobisi, nam ndafumana iStarbucks, kwaye sobabini saphuma "okweentloko zethu" okwexeshana. Kwakukho into encomekayo yokunyanga malunga nokutshintsha imeko-bume esingqongileyo ekwakugqibe indawo yam yangaphakathi.
Besisoloko sikonwabela ukuhamba nokuthetha kunye nokuhamba-hayi ukuhamba intaba, hayi ukuhamba ngamandla- kwaye sizama ukuhamba rhoqo.
Isingqisho esingaqhelekanga samanyathelo ethu senza ukuba kube lula ukuncokola (okanye hayi) kunye nokubona ubuhle obulula bendawo esiyingqongileyo. Ngaphandle kwento esiye sagqitha kuyo, sinokubona konke okusingqongile oko kusamele sibe nombulelo ngako.
Kutshanje siqalisile ukutsala imidlalo ngaphandle kwekhabethe lethu. Ekuqaleni, akukho namnye kuthi owayeziva ekhuphisana okanye ebukhali, kwaye ukugxila kwakuyinselele. Kodwa emva kokuba ndibethe u-Alan kumjikelo wethu wokuqala we-Othello, wabuya wazokundijongela okwesibini.
Ah, ibifana kakhulu nayo! Ngoku siyeke umbulali wemvelo afike kuthi sobabini njengoko sisebenzisa iqhinga kwi-gin rummy kwaye "Akukho Dice."
- Ukuzibophelela
Ingxaki iveza okona kulungileyo kunye nokubi kwisimo somntu.
Lo uhlube u-Alan kwaye ndazala naziphi na izinto esinokuzama ukuzenza kwinkampani yomnye nomnye.
Sibonane iimvakalelo ezityhilekileyo, ezibonakalisiweyo, kunye nobuthathaka babantu. Siyeke ngamnye phantsi ngeendlela ezininzi. Ngelixa ndizama ukugcina intloko kaJosh ingaphezulu kwamanzi, ukuthembeka kwam okwahlukileyo kuye kwashiya u-Alan engqubeka kulwandle lokungazithembi malunga nolwalamano lwethu.
Ndikhethe ezona zinto zibalulekileyo kum, ndikholelwa ekubeni uJosh udinga ulungiselelo lwam loomama kwaye uAlan uzakulunga
kufuneka "ndiyifunxe" ixesha elithile.
Kodwa bendisazi ukuba izokwenzela ixesha nje. Ukuqala ngesibhengezo esoyikisayo sikaGqr. McClary, akukho gqirha wasinika ithemba lobuxoki malunga namathuba kaJosh okusinda kumhlaza wakhe.
Nditsho ne-naturopath yakhe eTucson inikezela ngohlobo lokunyanga ngendlela yonyango ebandakanya into ebuhlungu neyityhefu yesityalo. UJosh wala ukuyamkela. Kum, olo tyelelo lwatywina ulwazi lokuba wayenexesha elifutshane nje lokuphila.
Ke ndabeka iminqweno ka-Alan kwisitya esingasemva ndaza ndanyamekela iimfuno zikaJosh. Ngoku, ndiyathemba ukuba umamele eli nqanaba: Khange ndiphikise ukuzibophelela kwam ku-Alan, kwaye khange ndimjongele phantsi kunye nobudlelwane bethu.
Ngokuchasene noko, bendizazi ukuba zomelele kwaye zomelele kangakanani izifungo zethu zomtshato omnye komnye. Ikopi enkulu eyenziweyo, ikopi ye-calligraphic ixhomeke kakhulu kumboniso ekhayeni lethu. Sibabona yonke imihla, kwaye sithatha ngokungathí sina.
Xa ndafunga ukuhlala ecaleni kuka-Alan kwaye ndazibophelela kuye “njengoyena mntu intliziyo yakhe yayinokukholosa ngaye ngokukhuselekileyo,” ndandithetha onke amazwi emehlweni kaThixo nawabantu.
Nangona kunjalo, mna noAlan sasiphikisana ngemibandela ethile yokukhathalela uJosh. Wayeyixabisile impilo yam kunye nokuba sempilweni kuka Josh, ngelaxesha ndandibona ukuba impilo kaJosh yayiwohloka phambi kwamehlo ethu.
Ukudinwa luphawu olukhulu lwe-MS yam, kwaye uAlan wandibona ukujamelana nokugula, ukutyhala umda wonyamezelo lwamUkuhlala kude kube sebusuku, ukuhambisa yonke into edolophini ukuthenga ukutya okunexabiso eliphantsi, izongezo, ubisi lwebhokhwe njalo njalo, exhasa uJosh ngethemba lokuba ezinye iindlela zonyango zibetha umhlaza wakhe, ngelixa imeko yakhe isiba mandundu.
UJosh wakhwaza xa uAlan ecebisa ukuba abonisane ne-oncologist yakhe eTucson okanye athethe nomququzeleli wezigulana kwiziko lomhlaza.
"Xelela umyeni wakho into enjalo," uya kuthi, asinciphise ukwakheka kobudlelwane bethu. Andifuni ukuyamkela loo ndoda njengotata. ”
Wayengaboni ukuba uAlan wayeqaqanjelwa kangakanani kukungakwazi kwakhe ukwenza into ukunceda ukuphilisa unyana wakhe wamazibulo. Kodwa ndiyayibona, mhlawumbi nangaphezulu kuka-Alan ngokwakhe.
Ukuzinikela kuka-Alan ekuxabiseni nakum ukukhusela zange kugungqe. Kodwa wayesilwa eli dabi kwimimandla emininzi ngakumbi kunam, kwaye kwinkqubo, wathabatha amanqaku amaninzi.
Ndiyaqonda ngoku ukuba impilo yakhe, ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasemphefumlweni nangokweemvakalelo wazincama ngeli xesha.
- Unxibelelwano
Ngaphambi kokuba uJosh asweleke, ndandisebenza nogqirha wam ukuzikhupha kumayeza am. Ndifuna ukulungelelanisa iimvakalelo zam, ukuze ndikwazi ukulila xa ndiziva ndibuhlungu, kwaye ndingathambisi ngendlela yam ngokuqaqanjelwa ndizama ukuqonda ukuba bekufanele ukuba ndiziva njani.
Andizukucebisa loo nto yokwenza wonke umntu, kodwa yayisisigqibo esifanelekileyo kum. Ndichithe ixesha elininzi lobomi bam ndicinezela iimvakalelo zam ezingathandekiyo, ndizi-ironer ngokuchasene nosizi, umsindo kunye noloyiko.
Ngoku bendifuna ukuvumela ukuba ndizive kwaye ndenze zonke iimvakalelo zam. Zange ndakhala kakhulu ebomini bam.
Icawa yethu ibamba inkqubo ebizwa ngokuba yiGriefShare enika inkxaso kubantu abaswelekelweyo.
Kungekudala emva kokuphulukana noJosh, mna no-Alan saqala ukuya kwiiseshini zeveki, sayame omnye komnye, silila, kwaye somelezana kwaye sikhuthazana kwiqela kunye neenkokheli zalo.
Kwisithuba seenyanga ezine ezilandelayo, xa bendicubungula intlungu endikuyo, ndaziva ndifumana amandla emvakalelo.
Noko ke, uAlan wayesiya etoneleni elimnyama, yaye akukho namnye kuthi owayibona isiza.
Ukusingatha lonke uxanduva lokuhamba kabini ngonyaka omnye kunye nokulungisa ikhaya lethu kunye nokulungisa izinto zikaJosh ezingalungelelaniswanga kakuhle ngelixa egcina inkonzo yokucebisa engenzi nzuzo, uAlan waye-over-adrenalised okwethutyana.
Kungekudala emva kweKrisimesi, umzimba wakhe wathi, "Kwanele," kwaye wangena kuxinzelelo. Ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwengqondo, ngokwasemphefumlweni, kwaye atyhafile ngokwasemoyeni, wayehlala esihlalweni kwigumbi losapho, ejonge ngamehlo, engazibandakanyi nencoko okanye athathe incwadi okanye avule umabonwakude.
Xa ndimbuza ukuba angathanda ukwenza ntoni, wayevele anyuse amagxa akhe ajonge uxolo.
Kuwo wonke umtshato wethu, ndinabantu endinokubabiza ngexesha leengxaki zomtshato, abahlobo esinokubathemba ukuva omabini amacala emicimbi yethu, ukumamela ngovelwano, ukunika ingcebiso enobulumko, ukuthandaza kunye nokugcina imfihlo.
Sikwaxhomekeke kumcebisi ongumKristu oqeqeshiweyo u-Alfred Ells ukuba asincede asikhokelele kwicala elifanelekileyo kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zeengxaki.
Ngaphezu kwesihlandlo sesibini kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo, mna noAlan saye sahlala eofisini yeAl yokucebisa, singaqondi. Ngosuku olungaphambi kokusweleka kukaJosh, uAl wayehleli kwigumbi lethu lokuhlala, ebuza imibuzo enzima, endinika iqonga lokubonisa umsindo wam kuAlan ngendlela awayenxibelelana ngayo (okanye engahlobananga ngayo) noJosh.
Ayikuko ukuba "bendilungile" kwaye u-Alan "ebengalunganga," kodwa besisoloko siphendula ngendlela eyahlukileyo ngokungxamisekileyo-mna ndiyi-analyzer, ndizama ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni engahambi kakuhle kunye nendlela efanelekileyo yokusombulula imeko; U-Alan fixer, utsibela kwisenzo.
Kuba sifundisa izibini ukuba zinxibelelane njani, abanye abantu balindele ukuba mna no-Alan singonxibelelwano oloyikisayo. Bacinga ukuba akufuneki siphikisane okanye singavumelani okanye sifundane.
Ha! Isichasi siyinyani. Mna no-Alan safunda izakhono zonxibelelwano esizifundisayo kuba ngokwendalo, singabantu abanonxibelelwano oluhle. Ngokwendalo siyaphikisana kwaye siyazingca kwaye siyazikhusela, njengabantu abaninzi esibaziyo.
Sasidla ngokuzama ukuxoxa ngemicimbi yethu ngeenyanga zokugula kukaJosh, uxinzelelo olukhulu lwakhiwa phakathi kwethu. Kodwa amaxesha ngamaxesha kunokuba, ngamnye wethu bezama ukweyisela omnye ukuba atshintshe indlela yakhe yokuma.
Izakhono zethu zonxibelelwano zisebenze KULUNGILE; besingavumelani nje kwaphela - malunga nomba omkhulu wobomi nokufa. Andinakuyitshintsha indlela awayejonga ngayo uAlan, naye ke wayengayitshintshi eyam.
Ngethamsanqa ngathi, okanye ngaphezulu ngokufanelekileyo, ngobabalo lukaThixo, mna noAlan sasigcina iiakhawunti ezimfutshane kunye. Kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, safunda ukungamampunge kokuphinda siqwalasele iidolophu ezingaboniyo zeempikiswano ezindala.
Ewe, sineentsuku zethu zokuma kohlobo lwe-gunslinger kwizitrato ezinothuli zaseTombstone, ukuyidubula ngaphezulu kwenzakalise ngaphambili omnye okanye omnye wethu wayengafuni kufa.
Kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha kunye nokuzilolonga, sifunde indlela yokujolisa kumcimbi kunokuba sijongane nomntu onembono echaseneyo nomba. Akukho namnye kuthi osafuna ukuzivumela ukuba singene kwiingxoxo ezonyuka ngokweemvakalelo.
Kodwa ukuhamba nomhlaza kunye noJosh kwasiqhubela kumhlaba omtsha. Nangona lo mhlaba wawukhangeleka ungaqhelekanga, umhlaba omninzi esasiwusebenzisayo wawubonakala ufana neendawo esasikade sikho.
Ngaba ndiyamonga umntwana okhalayo okanye ndinika umyeni wam i-TLC ekupheleni kosuku lokusebenza kwakhe ukuba enze iJuice kale kunye nengqolowa yengqolowa yonyana onokuthi athathe isiselo okanye ezimbini zomxube aze anyuse impumlo yakhe eseleyo, okanye Ngaba ndinika umyeni wam i-TLC ekupheleni kosuku lomsebenzi wakhe?
Ngenye ingokuhlwa, uAlan wayophuma ngomnyango wachitha ubusuku ehotele ukuphepha ukudana kwam ngamatye. Akukho namnye kuthi owayefuna ukuzimela kwimicimbi yethu eyahlulahlula. Kwaye inyani, sobabini "sasilungile" ngokokuba omnye wethu wayenokuba ulungile okanye akalunganga.
Sasiqondana; asizange sivume.
Kodwa emva kokuba uJosh engasekho, andiboni ngqiqweni ngokuzama ukukhusela indlela aziphethe ngayo okanye ndicacise indlela acinga ngayo noAlan. Sasidinga ukuxhasana ngokweemvakalelo kwintlungu yethu.
Kunyaka ukusweleka kukaJosh, mna noAlan siye saphinda sazihlaziya izinto esasizisombulule ngelo xesha. Siye sahlamba kubo ngoxolelo kwaye sabogquma ngobabalo.
Simamele omnye nomnye, sabamba iintliziyo zomnye nomnye, sabambana ngezandla. Sinentabalala
yexesha ngoku kuthe cwaka ilahleko yethu ukuba sive omnye nomnye.
Andiqondi ukuba omnye wethu utshintshe izikhundla okanye uya kwenza ngokwahlukileyo ukuba siza kuphinda sihambe kuyo yonke into. Kodwa sizichazile iimvakalelo zethu, kwaye simamele, kwaye siziva siqondwa.
- Ukugqibelela
Mna noAlan andizange sithandane ngexesha lokugula kukaJosh. Ndingumfazi osemva kokuba sexesheni. Sobabini sasithatha amayeza amiselwe ngoogqirha bethu ukusinceda sijongane noxinzelelo.
Ndandilumkele ukugcina ubudlelwane bethu bezesondo kwaye ndihlangabezana neemfuno zika-Alan, kodwa ndaphazamiseka, ndazixakekisa. Amayeza akhe achaphazele iimpendulo zakhe. Wayecinga ukuba ndiyamkhuthaza ngokwahlukileyo kunesiqhelo, ngandlela thile ndiguqula indlela endidibana ngayo naye.
Wayelangazelela ukukhululwa ukuba isondo lalihlala limnika yena, kodwa ndaye ndacinga ukuba sisiphelo esiphumelelayo khange simzisele ulwaneliseko ebesilulindele emva kweminyaka engama-35.
Kwakungathi siqala ngokutsha kwakhona, sizama ukufunda ukuba ngabathandi.
Ndaziva ndingenamdla kwaphela kwisini. Ayikuko ukuba ndiyichasile okanye ndiyalile, kodwa bendingenawo umnqweno wolo lonwabo.
Nangona kunjalo, u-Alan (uThixo amsikelele) wanyanzelisa "ukundonwabisa" ubuncinci kanye ngeveki. Ndikhulule ngokungathandabuzekiyo ndalala ebhedini ngokungachazwanga njengomntwana olindele utshintsho lwe-diaper.
Ukanti wayengumthandi ozimiseleyo kwaye wanditsalela kwindawo yokuzibandakanya, ukonwaba, kunye nokukhulula de ndinyibilike ezingalweni zakhe ndize ndimbulele kaninzi ngokundikhathalela.
Ngo-Epreli ndibhiyozele iminyaka yam engama-60 yokuzalwa. I-Physiologically kunye no-Alan asifani nabavocavoci beetoni ababekhulula iimpahla phambi komnye ngobusuku bomtshato.
Kodwa isini, nangona singekho rhoqo njengakwiminyaka engama-36 eyadlulayo, sihlala siyinto ebalulekileyo kuthi
ukubonakaliswa kothando omnye komnye. Funeka nditsho ukuba bohlukile kuye kunam?
Andazi ukuba ndakuze ndiqonde ulwakhiwo loxinzelelo kuye olufuna indawo anokuyikhupha ngezinye iindlela, kodwa olona phawu lupheleleyo nolwanelisayo lokuzaliseka ngokudibana nam. Kwaye eso senzo somtshato "siphinda sinamathele" kwiglu ebambe umanyano lwethu kunye.
Kule minyaka, indlela yethu itshintshile. Ndiyakwazi ukuphumla. Andisazikhathazi ngengxolo evela ngaphandle, kwaye ndingena bantwana ekhaya, akufuneki nditshixe ucango lwethu lokulala. Ndifundile ukwamkela kuAlan, kwaye ufundile isingqisho seempendulo zam.
Jonga kwakhona: Ukubaluleka kwesondo emtshatweni.
Senza isibini esihle sabathandi, yena kunye nam.
- Ukungcwaliswa
Ayikho enye indlela yokukutsho: Ukulahlekelwa ngumntwana kugungqisa ukholo lwakho. Ishukumisile eyam. Ishukumisile uAlan. Kodwa ukungcangcazela ayifani nokwaphuka.
Ukholo lwethu luye lwabotshwa, kodwa alophukanga. UThixo usesetroneni yendalo iphela; Akukho namnye kuthi owakhe wayithandabuza loo Nyaniso.
Singaqhubeka njani ukuba uThixo onguMongami wayengekho kuloo ndawo sikuyo kwaye umhlaba wethu ukhona?
Ukuba besingenaso isiqinisekiso sokuba uJosh, ongafakwanga ngumzimba wakhe owaphukileyo, wawukhupha umoya wakhe wavuka etshintshile, ephelele, ebhaptiziwe kuBomi obungunaPhakade elinde bonke abo bathembela kuYesu ngosindiso?
Ndicinga ukuba iqokobhe lomzimba wakhe wasemhlabeni lishiya, lingenamsebenzi, umoya wakhe ngesiquphe utsiba-tshintsha ngokupheleleyo kwi-chorus yeengelosi nakubo bonke abangcwele ababemandulele. Kwaye ngokuqhwanyaza nje kweliso, uAlan nam siyakubakhona, nathi.
Elo lithemba lethu lovuko, elifezekiswe emnqamlezweni kuMesiya, iMvana kaThixo egqibeleleyo, egazi lalo litshona ngonaphakade emqongeni "wendlu" yamakholwa onke.
Ukholo lwethu lusaqhubeka nokubuya kutshintsho lomxhuzulane olugungqise umhlaba wethu. Khange ndikwazi ukuloba ngexesha lam lokuthula. Ukufunda iBhayibhile kunzima kum, nangona eli gama lihleli lingumthombo wentuthuzelo enzulu, iNyaniso yalo ivakala emphefumlweni wam.
U-Alan ekuqaleni wayeqhubeka nayo yonke imisebenzi yakhe enxulumene nobulungiseleli, ekhokela iqela elincinci kunye nokufundisa, ngelixa mna, ndingakwazi ukuyenza inkonzo yecawa ngaphandle kokulila, ndandingaziboni ndize ndikhokele nantoni na kwakhona.
Ke, phantse ngaphandle kwesilumkiso, iindima zethu zabuyela umva. UAlan walubetha olo donga lweemvakalelo kwaye wazika kwimeko yokudakumba. Wafumana izihlwele okanye amaqela abuphi na ubungakanani obunganyamezelekiyo. Kanye njengokuba ndandibuya ngeenyawo ngokweemvakalelo, ndinqwenela ubudlelwane ngakumbi kunye nokunxibelelana nabanye abantu, wemka kubo.
Ngoku siphila kwakhona ngokomoya. Okwangoku 'asikho simahla ekhaya', kodwa sisendleleni eya apho.
Ngelixa ndijamelana nokugula nantsi into engakholelekiyo, emangalisayo, efumanekayo endiyenzileyo malunga nomyeni wam ngokuhamba kwethu ehlathini losizi. Akazange ayeke ukundinika ukhuseleko ngokomoya. Ndiyivile imithandazo yakhe yokundikhusela yonke imihla.
Ixesha lethu lokuthandaza kunye libonakala lingathethekiyo, lihlala lifutshane. Ngamanye amaxesha uyandixelela ukuba uziva ngokungakhathali kwaye engaphefumlelwanga uziva njani kwindlela yakhe yokomoya. Kodwa inyani kukuba akayekanga ukuhamba.
Uhlangana neNkosi yonke imihla, kwaye ndikhuselekile, ndikhuselwe ngophahla lokomoya alugcinayo phezu kwentloko yam.
Nokuba siziva singavumelani omnye nomnye, imimoya yethu ihlala ihambelana nomnqophiso owamiselwa kwiminyaka engama-36 eyadlulayo.
Ngale ntengiselwano, sidibanise konke ebesinako kwaye sikwi-organic enye ebandakanya ngaphezulu kwezinto zethu ezibonakalayo. Nangona kunjalo, iminyaka ihambile, kwaye ndiqhubekile ukwahlula phakathi komrhumo wethu ngamnye kwiqela lethu, yithi, impumelelo yam, impumelelo yakhe, italente yam, ubuchule bakhe, ubuchule bam, nobam ngamnye wabantwana bethu.
Inkqubo yokujamelana nokugula, ukuphulukana, kunye nosizi uJosh wayitshisa loo mfumba yezinto "zam" kunye "neyakhe". Ukutsha kudle ubomi bethu bangaphambili njengoko besisazi. Into eshiyekileyo yayifana nesiduli sothuthu-ezingenambala, ezifileyo, ezingafunekiyo ukuzihluza.
Umbala wantoni usizi? Yintoni eyahlula ikratshi lika-Alan nelam? Wenza ntoni umahluko
senze indlela esibonakalise ngayo uthando kuJosh ngaphambi kokuba asweleke?
Kutshanje ndibukele umabonwakude okhethekileyo malunga neNtaba iSt. Ikhuselwe njengesikhumbuzo sesizwe, indawo engamahektare ayi-110,000 ishiywe ingaphazanyiswa ukuba iphinde ibuye ngokwendalo.
Okumangalisayo kukuba, ngokoqobo kuphuma eluthuthwini, ubomi bubuyela emhlabeni. Iimpuku ezincinci ezithintele olu dubulo phantsi komhlaba ziye zaphazamisa umhlaba ngeetonela zazo, zenza umhlaba apho imbewu inokuhlala khona kwaye ihlume.
Iintyatyambo zasendle, iintaka, izinambuzane kunye nezilwanyana ezikhulu ziye zabuya. IChibi loMoya, elishiyeke nzulu kwaye lifumile ngenxa yokuqhushumba, libuyela kwindawo yalo yangaphambili ecacileyo, nangona linamahlathi amatsha angaphantsi komhlaba.
Ke mna no-Alan sifumana "into eqhelekileyo" yethu entsha.
Njengakweyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 5:17, izinto ezindala zidlulile, kwaye malunga nayo yonke into ebomini bethu iguqulwa ibe yinto iNkosi eyayilungiselele thina kwasekuqaleni. Siya sifana naye ngakumbi.