Utshintsho lwakho lokuqala ebomini lwafika xa ufumene kwaye watshata nothando lobomi bakho. Yayitshintsha ubomi. Akunakuqonda ukuba ungamthanda njani omnye umntu ngakumbi okanye ukuba ubomi bakho bunokutshintsha nangakumbi. Kodwa kuyenzeka-unomntwana.
Thetha ngotshintsho olukhulu kubomi.
Into malunga nomntwana kukuba iza emhlabeni engenakunceda ngokupheleleyo. Ifuna abazali bayo ukuze itye kwaye iphile nje. Njengoko ikhula, iyafunda kodwa ixhomekeke kuwe kuyo yonke into. Kwaye akufani nokuba ungakhe uthabathe ikhefu lokuba ngumzali-ngumsebenzi osisigxina.
Kukwenza uzibuze ukuba kutheni abantu besiba ngabazali kwasekuqaleni. Kubonakala ngathi kukho lo mnqweno wokuba nabantwana. Ewe kunjalo, kukho iindawo ezinzima ukuba ngumzali, kodwa zininzi iindawo ezimangalisayo. Into enkulu abaninzi abangayithathiyo, nangona kunjalo, yindlela onokuwutshintsha ngayo umtshato wakho. Mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba ingachaphazela njani, bafuna ukuba ngabazali kunjalo.
Zininzi izifundo phaya ezithi ukuba ngabazali kubangela utshintsho olubi emtshatweni. Ngokwedatha evela kwiZiko loPhando lobuhlobo eSeattle, malunga nesibini kwisithathu sabantu abatshatileyo baxela ukuba umgangatho wolwalamano lwabo wehla kwisithuba seminyaka emithathu wokuzalwa komntwana. Ayikhuthazi kakhulu. Kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba ukuba ngumzali kuwuchaphazela njani umtshato wakho. Kwaye ngekhe uyazi ukuba ide yenzeke.
Ewe kunjalo, naluphi na utshintsho lobomi lunokuba nefuthe elikhulu kuwe, lube ngcono okanye lubi. Kodwa kanye ukuba ngumzali kuwuchaphazela njani umtshato wakho? Nazi ezinye zeendlela ezinokukuchaphazela ngazo kwaye, umtshato wakho:
1. Ukuba ngumzali kuyakutshintsha njengomntu
Umzuzu nje wokuba ngumzali, uyatshintsha. Ngokukhawuleza unoxanduva lomnye umntu omthandayo ngaphezu kobomi uqobo. Uninzi lwabazali lunomzabalazo wangaphakathi wokunika ngokwaneleyo umntwana wabo, kodwa nokuvumela umntwana wabo ukuba afunde oko kufuneka akufunde. Okwexeshana, abazali bayazithemba. Banokufuna iingcebiso ezincwadini nakwabanye ukuze babone ukuba ungangomzali onjani. Isishwankathelo, ukuba ngumzali kuyakutshintsha njengomntu kuba uzama ukuziphucula. Ngokuqinisekileyo yinto entle leyo. Ingaguqulela emntwini ozama ngako konke okusemandleni ukwenza umtshato wabo ube mkhulu, naye.
2. Ubuzali butshintsha amandla kwiKhaya lakho
Kuqala ubuyintsapho yababini, kwaye ngoku uyintsapho yabathathu. Into yokuba kukho omnye umzimba endlwini yenza izinto zahluke. Inyaniso yokuba iyinxalenye yenu nobabini iyenza ibe nzima nangakumbi. Kukho iimvakalelo ezinamandla eziboshwe kulo mntwana, kwaye ukuba ngumzali kwakho kuya kuyibonisa loo nto. Unokulingwa ukuba unike ixesha elininzi kunye nomzamo kubudlelwane nomntwana endaweni yeqabane lakho. Oku kunokuba nefuthe elibi. Amaqabane amaninzi ayaqonda. Bayayifumana. Kodwa kukho ixesha eliqinisekileyo lokuhlengahlengisa ngoku nakwixesha elizayo njengoko iimfuno zomntwana ziguquka. Amaxesha amaninzi, konke malunga nomntwana, kwaye ubudlelwane phakathi kwesi sibini sithatha isihlalo sangasemva, esenzelwe ezinye izibini ukuba singasebenzi.
3. Ukuba ngumzali kungalonyusa uxinzelelo
Abantwana bacela umngeni. Abathandi ukuxelelwa ukuba mabenze ntoni, benza ubumdaka, badla imali. Bafuna uthando rhoqo kunye nokuqinisekiswa. Ngokuqinisekileyo oku kungalonyusa uxinzelelo kwikhaya lakho, into enokuba yinto embi ukuba ayithathwa ngokufanelekileyo. Xa benisibini nje ngaphandle kwabantwana, ninokwenza into eniyifunayo kwaye nibe nexesha elithile; kodwa ngoku njengabazali unokuziva ngathi awuzange ube nexesha lokuphumla. Uxinzelelo lunokuthatha umthwalo.
4. Ukuba ngumzali kungayiTshintsha imbono yakho
Ngaphambi kokuba ube nomntwana, wawukhathazeka ngezinto ezahlukeneyo. Amathemba akho namaphupha ayehlukile. Kodwa oku kuxhomekeke emntwini. Mhlawumbi unethemba ngakumbi kuba unamaphupha amakhulu ngomntwana wakho. Mhlawumbi ujonge phambili ekubeni nabazukulwana. Ngesiquphe usapho lubaluleke ngakumbi. Ikamva lakho lijongeka ngokwahlukileyo, kwaye ufumana i-inshurensi yobomi yokuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho uza kunyanyekelwa. Ukuba nomntwana ngokwenyani kukwenza ujonge ubomi ngokwahlukileyo kwaye ujonge izinto ekusenokwenzeka ukuba wawungazange ube nazo ngaphambili, ezinokuba yinto elungileyo. Iyakhula.
5. Ukuba ngumzali kungakunceda ukuba ungazicingeli kakhulu
Ngokujikeleza nje, ungayenza le nto uyifunayo. Xa utshatile oko kutshintshile kuba kuya kufuneka ujonge into efunwa liqabane lakho. Kodwa ke, ubunenkululeko. Khange ubotshelelwe. Ungachitha imali eninzi ngokwakho kwaye ukhululekile ukuba uhambe uhambe ngendlela othanda ngayo-ubenexesha elininzi "lam". Kodwa xa umntwana wakho esiza, loo nto iyatshintsha ngokukhawuleza. Ngequbuliso kuya kufuneka uphinde uhlelele ishedyuli yakho yonke, imali, Gxila kulo mntwana. Njengomzali ucinga phantse akukho nto ngawe kwaye ucinga yonke into malunga nezinto ezifunwa ngumntwana wakho. Oku kuwuchaphazela njani umtshato wakho? Ndiyathemba ukuba, ukuba ungazicingeli kwaphela, uya kuthi ujonge iimfuno zeqabane lakho.