Izitayile eziqhotyoshelweyo zibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane

Umbhali: Randy Alexander
Umhla Wokudalwa: 23 Utshazimpuzi 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 26 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Izitayile eziqhotyoshelweyo zibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane - I-Psychology
Izitayile eziqhotyoshelweyo zibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Sonke siyayazi umdlalo wekati kunye nempuku kubudlelwane. Yinto enamandla aqhelekileyo okusukelayo kunye nokuleqwa. IHollywood kunye nenkcubeko edumileyo yenza umsebenzi omkhulu wokubonisa lo mdaniso kwisigaba sokuthandana sothando olusakhasayo.

Endaweni yokuleqeka kuqhubeke unaphakade, nangona kunjalo, sihlala sibona isiphelo esimnandi, kunye nempuku efunxa ekwamkeleni kwekati kwaye umdlalo ugqityiwe.

Kuthekani malunga nokuba umdlalo wokuleqa uqhubeka ixesha elide emva kokuba umnqweno wokuqala ugqityiwe?

Siwulawula njani umngqungqo wokubuya nongaphaya odlula kwisigaba sasemva komtshato ukuya kwi-humdrum nakwisiqhelo semihla ngemihla sobudlelwane?

Kwilizwe lesayikholoji, ikati kunye nokuziphatha kwempuku yokunqwenela okanye ukunqanda omnye umntu kubangelwa ziipatheni zethu zokuqala zokuncamathisela okanye iindlela zokuncamathisela.

Ezi zitayile okanye iindlela zokuziphatha zikhule kubudlelwane bethu noomama (okanye abanonopheli bokuqala) xa sasisisana kwaye sandise yonke indlela eya kumagumbi okulala abantu abadala.


Impembelelo yeendlela zokuncamathisela

Izimbo zokuncamathisela kubantu abadala zinempembelelo kunye nefuthe kwindlela ababuphila ngayo ubomi kunye nokunxibelelana nabanye.

Abanye bethu baya kuba nethamsanqa ngokwaneleyo lokuba nesitayile sokuncamathisela esikhuselekileyo, esiya kuthi sikhokelele kubudlelwane obuhle nabanye.

Ngelixa abanye benokuphuhlisa izitayile zokuncamathela okanye zokuthintela, okukhokelela kwiingxaki ngendlela abanxibelelana ngayo namaqabane abo okanye abatshatileyo kunye nendlela abalibona ngayo ilizwe.

Kodwa ayisiyiyo yonke loo nto.

Impembelelo kumbono womntu (nokuba ikhuselekile okanye ayikhuselekanga) iya kudityaniswa njengoko uhamba ebomini uqhubeka uzibonisa ukuba ilizwe likhuselekile okanye alikhuselekanga (kuxhomekeke kwisitayile sakho sokuncamathisela).

Abo bacinga ukuba umhlaba ukhuselekile baphumelela ngazo zonke iindlela.

Abo banesitayile sokuncamathisela ekungakhuselekanga baba kukungazithembi, ukungathembi, ukungabi nathemba kwaye bakufumanise kunzima ukukholelwa ukuba banokuziphumeza iinjongo zabo kuba bengakhange babenazo ngaphambili ngokungagungqiyo ezingazange zenzeke kubo ngaphambili.


Lo mjikelo wamava odibeneyo uyaqhubeka ade umntu onesincamathiselo esingakhuselekanga aqonde kwaye enze ngokuzimisela iinzame zokugqwesa inkqubo yabo yobuntwana.

Uninzi lwabantu lufumana ukungqubana, isizungu, kunye nemiceli mngeni ngendlela enxibelelana nabanye kunye namava obomi. Kwaye ekubeni ngamnye wethu ephumelela kunxibelelwano, nantso yimeko elusizi yemicimbi.

Nangona kunjalo, likho ithemba.

Ukuqonda ukuba zeziphi izimbo zokuncamathisela kwaye zeziphi iindlela zakho zokuncamathisela kubudlelwane kunokusinceda ukuba siqonde amandla ethu, ubuthathaka, kunye nokuba sesichengeni kubudlelwane bethu.

Oku kusinika ithuba lokuziqonda thina okanye amaqabane ethu kwaye sifumane iindlela zokuphilisa okanye ukusebenza nokuncamathela kokhuseleko.

Ngaba nokuba ukhule waziva ungakhuselekanga emhlabeni, unokuxolelanisa kwaye uphilise le meko, kwaye ufumane indlela yokujolisa kwinkqubo yakho yokungazithembi kwaye uphuhlise nokuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo.


Yintoni ithiyori yokuncamathisela

Umsebenzi odibeneyo kaJohn Bowlby kunye noMary Ainsworth, kwiTheory yokuQhoboshela, utsalela iikhonsepthi ezivela kwi-ethology, i-cybernetics, ukuqhubekeka kolwazi, uphuhliso lwengqondo kunye neengqondo zengqondo.

Ithiyori ichaza ukunamathela "njengonxibelelwano lwengqondo oluhlala luhleli phakathi kwabantu, eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kubo kukukhula kobudlelwane phakathi komntwana kunye nomgcini omnye oyintloko ekukhuleni kwesiqhelo ngokwasentlalweni nangokweemvakalelo.

Ithiyori yokuncamathisela isebenza njengesiseko esomeleleyo sokuqonda ukukhula kweendlela zokulwa ukungasebenzi kakuhle kunye nezinto ezifihlakeleyo zemiceli mngeni yomntu ngamnye ngokweemvakalelo.

Iindidi zezimbo zokuncamathisela

Iingcali zengqondo kunye nabaphandi bachaze amaqela amabini aphambili ezimbo zokuncamathisela.

  • Ukuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo
  • Ukuncamathiselwa okungazithembanga

Ukuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo

Abantu abadala abanezincamathelisi ezikhuselekileyo babenoomama abazifezekisayo iimfuno zabo zeemvakalelo xa babeselusana. Oomama babo:

  • Wahlala ebathatha xa belila.
  • Batyiswa xa belambile.
  • Ndincume nabo.
  • Bavumele ukuba baphonononge umhlaba, besazi ukuba umama wabo wayenomqolo.

Abantu abadala abaqhotyoshelwe ngokukhuselekileyo abayi kuzibandakanya nakoluphi na uhlobo olongezelelekileyo lomdlalo wekati kunye nempuku yobudlelwane.

Ngokwendalo baya kutsala abanye abantu abadala abaqhotyoshelweyo.

Umlingane ngamnye uya kuba nenkululeko yokuphuma aye kuhlola umhlaba esazi ukuba omnye uyabavuyisa, uzimisele ukubuza malunga nokuzonwabisa kwabo, kwaye bazonwabele ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwesondo nangokweemvakalelo.

Ukuqhubeka nokuqonda isitayile esincamathiselwe sokuncamathisela, jonga:

Ukuncamathiselwa okungazithembanga

Kwelinye icala, abantu abadala abanokungazithembi (aka ixhala) uncamathiselo babenoomama abangakwazanga ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo zeemvakalelo xa babeselusana. Aba mama babengaba:

  • Ukungangqinelani
  • Ukungaphenduli
  • Ukwala

Izitayile zokuncamathisela ezingakhuselekanga ziye zahlulwahlulwa zaziindidi ezintathu.

  • Ukuxhalabisa

Iintsana ezixhalabileyo ngokumangalisayo xa zahlulwe kunina kwaye kwangaxeshanye ziyamtyhalela kude xa ebuya.

Aba bantu bahlala bejonga kumaqabane abo ukuze bafumane imvume, inkxaso kunye nokuphendula. Abantu ngabanye abanesimbo sokuncamathisela baxabisa ubudlelwane babo, kodwa bahlala behleli kwaye bexinekile ngokubhekisele kubungakanani bokubandakanyeka kwamaqabane abo.

  • Ukuxhalabisa-Ukunqanda

Iintsana ezinikezela ngombono wokuba zizimele ngaphandle kwembonakalo yokwahlukana koxinzelelo xa umama engaphenduli.

Abantu ngesitayile sokuncamathisela esinxungupheleyo banokuzithemba okuphezulu kunye nembono elungileyo ngabo.

Aba bantu ngokubanzi bayamkela ukuba ubudlelwane abubagqibezeli kwaye banokukhetha ukungathembeli kwabanye, abanye bathembele kubo, okanye bafune uncedo kunye nokuvunyelwa kwizangqa zentlalo.

Ukukhula kwesi sitayile sokuncamathisela kuphephe ukusondelelana kwaye kuya kucinezela iimvakalelo zabo xa bejamelene neemeko zovakalelo.

  • Ukungalungelelaniswa

Iintsana ezixhatshazwa kanobom okanye eziphethwe kakubi ngoonina. Ezi ntsana azinampendulo ikukuziphatha komama. Badandathekile, abananto ibukeleyo xa bebanjwe ngumama, okanye babonisa isimilo esiphazamisayo njengokugungqa ngapha nangapha xa umama ekufutshane.

Kubantu abadala ngale ndlela yokuncamathisela, banokunqwenela umnqweno kumaqabane abo ahlala engoyena ndoqo woloyiko lwabo.

Abantu abangalungelelananga bayaludinga ulwalamano, ukanti, bafumana amava okuphazamiseka ekuthembeleni nasekuthembeleni kwabanye. Abazilawuli kakuhle iimvakalelo zabo kwaye bahlala kude noncamathiselo lweemvakalelo, ngenxa yokoyika ukwenzakala.

Ukuba awukacacisi malunga nesimbo sakho sokuncamathisela, ungathatha, uzame i'Qhoboshelo lwesimbo sombuzo 'ukuvavanya ukuba uncamathele emntwini kwaye kangakanani.

Iindlela zokuncamathisela ezichaphazela ubudlelwane bakho

Kuba uninzi lwabantu abadala azikhange ziqwalasele iindlela zokuncamathisela abazenzileyo ebuntwaneni, bayazigcina ezi ndlela zokuziphatha kubomi babo babadala, nto leyo ethi ibe yinto yeemvakalelo kulwalamano lwabo.

Lo mbono yinto ekubhekiswa kuyo ngoochwephesha bengqondo njenge “ugqithiselo"- xa umntu eguqula iimvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha kwakhe ebuntwaneni ukuya kubudlelwane obubambeleyo ebudaleni.

Njengokuba singafuni ukuyivuma, uninzi lwethu luyathandana nohlobo oluthile loomama nootata. Okanye ubuncinci ezo mpawu zifana nezo sizibonayo kubo. W kwaye xa umntu ehlangana neentlobo ezithile zeemeko zoxinzelelo / izehlo sinokubona ezo mpawu kwindlela abaziphethe ngayo.

Ukubhangqa okungahambelaniyo ngokusempilweni kukuxhalaba-ukunqanda ukuxhalaba. Ezi zimbini zihlala zihlangana kubudlelwane ukuphinda zenze izinto kunye nomama ebuntwaneni. Ukuziphatha kwabo okungqubanayo kunokubangela ukungqubana okukhulu kubudlelwane.

Umntu omdala onembali uyaphakuzela xa ahlukane neqabane lakhe kwaye efuna ingqalelo kubo.

Banokunqwenela kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bafune ukuba amaqabane abo ahlangane neemfuno zabo. Oku kubambelela kubangela iqabane elinokuphepha ukuba liye kwinduli ... okanye kwigumbi elingaphantsi. Nje ukuba iqabane elithandanayo liyeke ukuthanda kwabo, iqabane elithintelayo liyabuya.

Iqabane elithintelayo kukuba, lingabinakho ukucacisa imfuno yalo ye-attentio, n nangona, kodwa umbono wokwahlukana ubangela uxinzelelo ngaphakathi kubo. Indawo engaphezulu iqabane elinamava linika umlingane walo othintelayo, kokukhona amaqabane omabini ehlala enomxholo.

Ngaphandle kokuba omabini amaqabane aqonde ukuba ekuphela komntu onoxanduva lokuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo zezabo, izinto zizinzile de umjikelo uziphindaphinde.

Ukutshintsha isitayile sakho sokuncamathisela

Awuyi kuba nakho ukutshintsha isimbo sokuncamathisela iqabane lakho, ke eyona nto intle onokuyenza kukutshintsha isitayile sakho sokuncamathisela.

Kuhlala kunokwenzeka ukuba umntu angalungisa iipateni abanazo ngaphakathi kwengqondo yabo, kodwa umntu akufuneki afune ukwenza njalo, kodwa afumane isibindi sokuhamba kwindawo engakhuselekanga ngelixa bejonga izizathu ezintsha.

Ukubonwa kobuchule kunye ne-hypnosis kunokuba ziindlela ezilungileyo zokuqalisa ukuphinda-phinda kunye nokwakha kwakhona ubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo kunye nawe.

Ukuphuhlisa ulwazi ngesimbo sakho sokuncamathisela kunye nendlela ebuchaphazela ngayo ubomi bakho kunye nolwalamano luya kunceda. Ngokukodwa, ukuba usebenza nokusebenza ekuphuhliseni ukuziqonda ngokwakho kwaye wenze imikhwa yokutshintsha ukulungisa iipateni ozichongileyo.

Ukuba uxhalabile

Ukuba unomdla kwaye uziva uxhalabile okanye uswele iqabane lakho, endaweni yokuba ujonge into engaphandle kwakho ukukunika ingqalelo oyinqwenelayo, qaphela ukuba le yindlela oziphethe ngayo kwaye ubuze into onokuzinika yona okwangoku ukunxibelelana nawe kwaye ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zakho.

Oku kunokubandakanya izinto ezinje:

  • Ziphathe ngokwakho umyalezo.
  • Zikhuphe ngomhla wesidlo sangokuhlwa.
  • Thatha iklasi yeyoga okanye yomdaniso.
  • Camngca.
  • Ziqhelanise nolunye uhlobo lokuzithanda.
  • Gcina incwadi yeemvakalelo zakho ukuphonononga naziphi na iipateni ezibangela iimvakalelo ezisweleyo.

Ukuba uyakhusela

  • Ziqhelanise nokucacisa isidingo sakho sendawo ngendlela ethambileyo, enovelwano ngaphambili ifikelela kwinqanaba apho ufuna ukubaleka kwiqabane lakho.
  • Ziqhelanise nokuveza iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ubuze iqabane lakho ukuba likunike indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuyichaza ngaphandle kokuphendula okanye ukugweba.

Zonke iZimbo zoNcamathiselo

  • Sukuba ngoyena mntu ubangela ububi kumaqabane akho!

Xa ushukunyisiwe, khumbula ukuba isitayile sokuncamathisela iqabane lakho yinto eyenziweyo ukusukela oko babeziintsana.

Nangona indlela yokuziphatha inokuphinda yenziwe okanye idluliselwe kuwe, the Ukuziphatha AKUKHO ngawe, kwaye ayibonisi wena. Musa ukuwela kumgibe wokucinga ukuba ubekek 'ityala ngokuziphatha kweqabane lakho.

Ingcebiso kunye nonyango lunokunceda

Amaxesha amaninzi asazi ukuba senza ngendlela ethile ngenxa yeendlela zethu zokuncamathisela. Ukuba nomsebenzi wobungcali nawe ukwandisa ulwazi lwakho malunga nesimbo sakho sokuncamathisela yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokutshintsha indlela oziphethe ngayo.

Abacebisi kunye nabanyangi banokunceda abo baneendlela zokuncamathisela ezingekho sempilweni babone ukuba amava abo kunye nabo babakhathaleleyo bazibumbile njani izicwangciso zabo zokulwa imeko kunye nokuba ezi ndlela zicutha njani ubudlelwane babo kwikamva kwaye banegalelo kumava abo oxinzelelo.

Ngaphaya koko, abacebisi kunye nabanyangi banokunceda abantu abanemicimbi yokuncamathisela ukuba bafumane iindlela zokufezekisa iimfuno zabo ezingafezekiswanga.

Utshintsho lwangempela aluveli kumzabalazo wokulungisa into; Kuza ngokuba nolwazi ngawe kunye nemeko. Ngamanye amagama, kukwazisa okubangela ukutshintsha, hayi umzabalazo.

Yise kude

Wonke umntu uneendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuncamathisela, kwaye akukho mntu unetyala lakho. Kungalula ukuqondisa unxunguphalo lwakho kunyoko okanye kumongi, kodwa khumbula ukuba wonke umzali uyamthanda kwaye umkhathalele umntwana wabo kangangoko banako.

Ukuncamathiselwa komntu kuhlala kujongwa njengeyona nto iphambili, esekwe kwibhayiloji eneengcambu ezomeleleyo zendaleko. Ukusukela ukuba uphando lokuncamathisela lujikeleze amashumi ambalwa eminyaka, ulwazi ngesihloko sele luqale nje.

Yiba nombulelo ngokuba unokufumana ulwazi malunga nesimbo sakho sokuncamathisela kwaye uhlale uqinisekile ukuba ngenani elifanelekileyo lolwazi, ukuzilawula, kunye nothando lwakho ngokwakho, ungatshintsha ukusuka kokungakhuselekanga uye kokuncamathiselwe okukhuselekileyo.