Ngaba uyazi ukuba ubuhlobo bakho bunokutshintsha emva kokuba utshatile kwaye unabantwana? Kuyinyani, kwaye sisiphumo sokudityaniswa kwezinto ezibandakanya ukwehla kwexesha lamahala kunye notshintsho kwizinto eziphambili.
Izibini zihlala zijongana nengxabano xa kufikwa kubuhlobo obungaphandle kobudlelwane bazo. Ungquzulwano lunokuvela xa umntu omnye enesidingo sokuhlala kunye nokubandakanywa nabanye kunye neminye iminqweno eyedwa kwaye urhoxile kwimicimbi yoluntu. Ukuqonda nokwamkela ukwahluka kwabanye kubalulekile ukuze ukhulise ubuhlobo kulwalamano lwakho kunye nokwakha ubuhlobo nabanye.
Ubuhlobo buxhasa, busigcina siziva singamalolo, kwaye busenza abantu abahle. Abahlobo abakhuthazayo nabaxhasayo bayayiqonda into yokuba oyena mhlobo wakho ulungileyo, kwaye kufanele ukuba ube liqabane lakho, kodwa akukhathaleki nokuba sisondele kangakanani kwiqabane lethu kunye nabantwana, sihlala sinqwenela ukuba nolwalamano nabanye. Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa zokugcina ubuhlobo ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho.
Ibhalansi
Ukugcina ubuhlobo obulungileyo kufuna ixesha nomgudu. Njengokuba ubomi bakho buqhubela phambili, kuya kufuneka wahlule elo xesha lixabisekileyo phakathi kwesangqa esikhulayo sabantu, esishiya ixesha elincinci kubahlobo bakho.
Abahlobo ngokubanzi basixelela into esifuna ukuyiva kwaye isenze sizive sikhululekile, sixhasa ukhetho lwethu kwaye sixolele ngokulula iziphoso zethu. Akumangalisi ukuba sibaleke siye kubo sifune iingcebiso okanye sibatsalele umnxeba phakathi kwengxakeko okanye imeko. Iingcali zomtshato zisixelela ukuba xa sijonga kubahlobo bethu kwaye sikude neqabane lethu, senza umgama weemvakalelo kubudlelwane bethu. Qiniseka ukuba uncike kwiqabane lakho.
Ubuhlobo bubonelela ngeempawu ezizodwa eziluncedo ekuzithembeni kwethu kodwa ukufumana ibhalansi kubalulekile ukuze singalubeki ulwalamano lwethu. Cwangcisa ukuhlangana okubandakanya iqabane lakho okanye abantwana. Xa ufuna ixesha elinye nelinye nomhlobo wakho, cwangcisa kwangaphambili. Awunalo ixesha lasimahla obukade ulisebenzisa, kwaye ngelixa abanye abahlobo beza kusiqonda ukuba kutheni usenza ukubonakala okumbalwa, abanye banokungazikhathazi ngobomi bakho obutsha ngokunjalo.
Izinto eziphambili
Njengoko sikhula, izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka ziyatshintsha. Iziganeko zobomi ezikhulu, njengomtshato okanye ukuzalwa, ziya kusinika umbono ohlukileyo ngobomi kwaye zisenze sicingisise ngokubalulekileyo kunye nendlela esingathanda ukulichitha ngayo ixesha lethu. Baphephe abantu abavelisa iimvakalelo ezingalunganga malunga nolwalamano lwakho okanye iqabane lakho kwaye ubange ukwahlukana kubudlelwane bakho. Ukhula ngaphandle kobuhlobo obunokubangela ukuba ube yityhefu kubudlelwane bakho, njengesixhobo sokulawula, ukuhleba kunye nomsebenzisi. Ukubandakanya abahlobo bakho abangatshatanga ekuphumeni kosapho kuya kubanika ukuxabisa ngakumbi uxanduva olubandakanyekayo ekubeni sisibini okanye usapho. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, abanye babahlobo bakho bayakuqonda ukuba kutheni ukhetha isidlo sangokuhlwa esithuleyo ngobusuku ebharini ngelixa abanye bezakusokola ukunxulumana nobomi bakho obutsha.
Indlela Yokugcina Ubuhlobo
Ukugcina ubuhlobo bakho, ukwahlula ababi, kunye nokuhlakulela abatsha kunokubonakala ngathi yinto yokuqhula ngelixa uzama ukukhulisa ubudlelwane bakho. Ubuhlobo, njengabo nabuphi na ubudlelwane, thatha umsebenzi. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi emva komtshato kunye nosana xa izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka kunye nexesha lenu lotshintsho. Awunakho ukonwaba kokubiza umhlobo kwaye ucebise ngesidlo sasemini, kodwa kulungile. Kwicala elisezantsi, ungafumanisa ukuba awunanto ininzi ufana ngayo nabahlobo bakho bakudala abenze imiboniso kunye nawe. Ngolungelelwaniso oluncinci nonxibelelwano, ungagcina ubuhlobo obubalulekileyo kuwe nakwiminyaka yakho yegolide. Kubalulekile ukuba bobabini abatshati babenabo bobunye ubuhlobo. Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa:
Cwangcisa imida
Nokuba ngumhlobo osenyongweni okanye lilungu losapho, imida ibeka umda kunye nokulindela ukuzibophelela kubuhlobo bakho. Xelela abahlobo bakho ukuba uyabuxabisa ubuhlobo bakho kwaye ubakhathalele. Chaza ukuba nangona ungazukukwazi ukuxhoma rhoqo, zisabalulekile kuwe. Yamkela ukuba ubomi bomhlobo wakho bukhona kwaye buya kutshintsha nabo, ke into oyenzayo ukugcina obo buhlobo bunokubeka ulindelo xa iimeko zabo zobomi zitshintsha kwikamva. Okokugqibela, sukusebenzisa abahlobo bakho njengendawo yokukhalaza malunga neqabane lakho. Umgaqo olungileyo wesithupha awuthethi kwanto kumhlobo wakho ongayi kuyithetha ngqo kwiqabane lakho.
Yenza ixesha
Unomdla ofanayo kunye nabahlobo bakho, kwaye kufuneka uqhubeke nokwenza ezo zinto ziphambili. Thetha neqabane lakho malunga nokuba nifuna ukuchitha ixesha nini nabahlobo bakho kwaye niyavumelana ngesicwangciso. Aninokwazi ukwenza isidlo sasemini kabini ngeveki kwaye nichithe iiLwezihlanu kunye neMigqibelo kunye, kodwa zamani ukwenza amalungiselelo okufowuna rhoqo kunye nokudibana. Nobabini ninokufumana eli xesha lihleliweyo lixakekile ekuqaleni, kodwa kuninzi eninokuqhubeka ngako kwaye kufuneka nibe "zihlanya zekhalenda" ukwenza ixesha lezinto ezibalulekileyo.
Nika kwaye uthabathe
Xa udibana nabahlobo bakho, xhathisa umnqweno wokulawula incoko ngamabali malunga nokuba uthandana njani neqabane lakho okanye umdlalo weqonga wosana, ngakumbi ukuba abahlobo bakho abekho kwinqanaba elifanayo lobomi. Abahlobo bakho bafuna ukuva ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni, kodwa bafuna ukuthetha nawe ngobomi babo, kwaye kufuneka bafumane ukuqonda ukuba usabelana ngemidla kunye namava akuhlanganisileyo kwasekuqaleni. Ngamanye amaxesha usenokukufumanisa kunzima ukunxibelelana nabahlobo bakudala xa izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka ziguqukile.
Yenza Abahlobo Abatsha
Ukuba ukhe wazama ukulungiselela ukudibana kunye nomhlobo okanye ababini kodwa babonakala benomsindo kwaye bekude, kulungile ukuvumela abo bahlobo bahambe. Asingabo bonke ubuhlobo obuhlala buhleli. Njengoko siqhubela phambili ebomini, ngokwendalo sithatha abahlobo abatsha kwaye sibashiye abadala. Cinga ngokufumana izibini ezitsha oza kuchitha ixesha kunye nazo okanye umama omtsha okanye utata onokwazi ukunxibelelana nendawo okhoyo ngoku. Ukuya kuphuculo lomtshato okanye iklasi yokuba ngumzali yeyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yokuhlangana nezinye izibini (kunye nokufumana ulwazi oluninzi). Nokuba liqela elisekwe kwinkolo okanye libanjwe ngumbutho wasekuhlaleni, uqinisekile ukuba uya kudibana nezinye izibini ezineenjongo ezifanayo, ngaphakathi komoya okhuthaza ubunye. Kumnandi ukwenza abahlobo njengesibini.
Ukutshata nokuba nabantwana akuthethi ukuba ubuhlobo bakho buya kuphela. Ziya kutshintsha, kwaye kuyakuthatha ixesha lakho (kunye nelomhlobo wakho) ukugcina ubuhlobo obuhle kunye. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba uqaphele ukuba ubuhlobo, nokuba budala kangakanani okanye butsha kangakanani, bubalulekile kuthi sonke.