Umxholo
- Izinto ezintathu eziyimfuneko kulwalamano olusenyongweni zezi:
- Yintoni onokuyenza malunga nokwenzakala, uziva ungakhuselekanga, okanye ukungakwazi ukubathemba abantu?
Kukwindalo yethu ukufuna ukuziva sisondele kwaye sinxibelelane nabanye, nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha izinto zinokwenzeka ukusithintela ekubeni sikwazi ukwenza oku kufutshane ngokulula.
Ukwenza uhlobo lokusondela kunye nomntu apho unokwabelana khona ngokoyika kwakho okunzulu kwaye uninzi lweengcinga zakho zizinto zonyango ezibhekisa kuzo njengokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kunokubakho phakathi kwabahlobo nakubudlelwane obusempilweni bokuthandana. Kubaluleke kakhulu kulonwabo lomntu, impilo kunye nentlalontle kodwa ngamanye amaxesha amandla ethu okuba sisondele ngokweemvakalelo ayaphazamiseka.
Izinto ezintathu eziyimfuneko kulwalamano olusenyongweni zezi:
1. Ithemba -Uya kuba nakho ukuziva unentembelo komnye umntu ukuze uzive ukhuselekile ekuvulekeni kubo. Ukuthembana kubalulekile ekwabelaneni nasekunxibelelaneni. Rhoqo kunokuba kunjalo, iingxaki zokuthembana zihlala zibangelwa ngumntu ongakwaziyo ukuthemba, endaweni yokuba omnye umntu angathembeki.
2. Ukhuseleko -Kubalulekile ukuba uzive ukhuselekile ngaphakathi kwakho nakwisiqhelo sakho ukuze ukwazi ukuthembela. Ukuba uziva ungakhuselekanga, awunako ukuvula ukuthembela komnye umntu.
3. Inqanaba eliPhakamileyo lokuNgafihli nokungafihli nto - Inqanaba eliphezulu lokuvuleleka kunye nokwenza izinto elubala kuyimfuneko ekuphuhliseni ukusondela okwenyani nokuba ngaba unomhlobo okanye iqabane. Ukhuseleko kunye nokuthembela sisiseko sokukhululeka ekubeni nenqanaba eliphezulu lokuvuleleka kunye nokwenza izinto elubala.
Ihlala ihoywa, esona sizathu sokuba kutheni iimvakalelo zokhuseleko kunye nokukwazi ukuthemba abantu zingasebenzi kubantu abaninzi kungenxa yomothuko. Umothuko unokubangela utshintsho kwingqondo olunokukhokelela kutshintsho oluninzi kwiimvakalelo, indlela yokuziphatha, kunye nokucinga. Uninzi lwabantu lucinga ngomothuko njengesehlo esibuhlungu esifana nengozi, ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo, okanye ukuba lingqina lesiganeko esoyikekayo, kodwa eyona nkcazo yokwenzakala ibanzi kakhulu. Ngapha koko, uninzi lwabantu luye lwafumana uhlobo oluthile loxinzelelo okanye olunye. Umothuko uchazwa njengamava anzima kakhulu okanye angathandekiyo adala iingxaki zengqondo nezemvakalelo kwabanye abantu ngesiqhelo ixesha elithile emva kwesiganeko esiphazamisayo okanye izehlo, ngaphandle kokuba uphathwe ngenye indlela.
Ngelixa amanye amava abuhlungu anokukhokelela kwimeko ebizwa ngokuba yiPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), zininzi iindlela zoxinzelelo njengomzali ongaphezulu kokulawula, ogxekayo okanye oxhaphazayo; ukuxhatshazwa esikolweni; okanye ukuba kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo obunokuchaphazela ukujikeleza kwe-neural kwingqondo ngendlela efanayo ngaphandle kokukhokelela kwi-PTSD. Isiphumo kukuba abantu abafumana umothuko banokukufumanisa kunzima ukuthemba abantu kwaye bazive bekhuselekile ngokubanzi. Oku kwaye kwenza ukuba kube nzima kakhulu kwabo bantu ukuba bahlakulele ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane babo.
Yintoni onokuyenza malunga nokwenzakala, uziva ungakhuselekanga, okanye ukungakwazi ukubathemba abantu?
Kukho unyango oluqhekezayo olusetyenziselwa ukunyanga i-PTSD, ebizwa ngokuba lunyango lwe-EMDR (imele ukwenziwa kwakhona kweNtshukumo yokuHanjiswa kwamehlo) kwaye ngoku iyasetyenziselwa ukunyanga abantu abonzakeleyo kuwo onke amanqanaba kunye nobukhali. Unyango lwe-EMDR lusebenza ngokukhuthaza ubuchopho phakathi kwamazwe amabini, nokuba kukuhamba kwamehlo, iithowuni zesandi, okanye ukucofa, ukusombulula uloyiko, unxunguphalo, umsindo, ilahleko kunye nentlungu yeemvakalelo. Le nkqubo ikwalungisa iimvakalelo zokuthenjwa kunye nokukhuseleka ukwenza ukuba abantu bahlakulele ubudlelwane obusempilweni ngokwasemoyeni.
Ukunyanga umothuko kunokunceda ukusombulula izithintelo kubudlelwane obusondeleyo beemvakalelo. Ukuba unengxaki yokuziva usondele kwaye uqhagamshelene nabanye ungafuna ukuxoxa ngemicimbi yakho ngengcali ye-EMDR yengingqi okanye ekwi-Intanethi okanye ingcali yomothuko ukubona ukuba unengxaki yokusombulula.