Umxholo
- 1. Mhloniphe
- 2. Ngena ungakhange ubuzwe
- 3. Chithani ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye
- 4. Hlonipha imfuno yakhe yokhuseleko lweemvakalelo
- 5. Yazi ukuba akanakuvele azicime iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakhe
- 6. Lwazi ulwimi lwakhe lothando kwaye ulusebenzisele inzuzo yakho
- 7. Makhe
Ndiqinisekile ukuba ukhe weva kusithiwa "Unoyolo mfazi, wonwabe." Ingxaki kunzima (kwaye inokuziva ingenakwenzeka) ukwazi ukuba yintoni emonwabisayo kuba, masijongane nayo, thina bafazi sihluke kakhulu kunani bafana.
Into endifuna uyazi kukuba intliziyo yakho icacile ikwindawo elungileyo. (Ukuba ibingekhe uyifunde le nto.) Kufuneka uyeke ukucinga ukuba umfazi wakho ucinga njengaye. (Kwaye thina manenekazi kufuneka siyeke ukucinga ukuba ucinga ngathi nathi.)
Kwaye kungokwemvelo ukucinga ukuba iqabane lakho licinga njengawe. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto kubonakala ngathi uyenzile xa uqala ukuthandana, akunjalo?
Ewe, nantsi into, emva kwayo yonke into yokuba uthando luthambile kwaye uqala ukuphila ubomi bokwenyani njengendoda nomfazi uyeke ukugxila kwelinye. Kwaye xa uyeka ukugxila kwi-hyper uyeke ukucinga ngokufanayo kuba ezinye izinto, abantu, iminyhadala kunye namava ngoku zibanga ezinye (okanye mhlawumbi uninzi) lwakho.
Ndiyathemba ukuba ufumana uluvo lokuba kuyakuthatha umsebenzi omncinci kwicala lakho ukwenza izinto zijike emtshatweni wakho ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokuba wonwabe kwaye wonwabile kunye naye. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, umsebenzi awukho nzima kuba konke ekufuneka ukwenzile kukuba ube ngumhlobo wakhe.
Ngoku ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukubanga ukuba sele ungumhlobo wakhe, khumbula ukuba ucinga ukuba ucinga njengaye. Akwenzi njalo. Ubuhlobo kuye kuthetha ukumqonda nokumxhasa ngendlela enengqiqo kuye- hayi kuwe.
Nazi ke iindlela ezi-7 onokuthi ubuphucule ubuhlobo bakho nenkosikazi yakho:
1. Mhloniphe
Hlonipha iingcinga zakhe, iimvakalelo, iinkolelo, izimvo, izinto eziphambili, amaxabiso, umsebenzi, izinto azithandayo, iimfuno, iimfuno, kunye nexesha njengoko ufuna ukuba ahloniphe ezakho. Yikholwe okanye ungakholelwa, uninzi lwamadoda ngokukhawuleza luyazityeshela iingcinga zabafazi babo, iimvakalelo, iinkolelo, izimvo, izinto eziphambili, amaxabiso, umsebenzi, izinto ezithandwayo, iimfuno, kunye nexesha xa ezi zinto zingqubana nento eziyifunayo nangayiphi na indlela.
Uninzi lwamadoda, ayizizo ngenjongo kuba yindlela abaphathe ngayo enye indoda. Balindele ukuba enye indoda ithi kubo hayi. Kodwa, khumbula, umfazi wakho akacingi njengawe kwaye uziva engenantlonelo xa uqhubeka ujonga i-ajenda yakho phambi kwakhe.
2. Ngena ungakhange ubuzwe
Ngaba ukhe waqaphela ukuba uxakeke kangakanani umfazi wakho ngokuqhubekayo? (Kulungile, ayingabo bonke abafazi abanje, kodwa uninzi lukhona.) Uhlala enento ayisebenzelayo kwaye kunqabile ukumbona ehleli phantsi kwaye ezolile. Uthatha ukuba uyabona ukuba usebenza nzima kangakanani ukukhathalela abantwana, izilwanyana zasekhaya, indlu kunye nezidlo. Kwaye mhlawumbi uyayenza.
Ingxaki kukuba ufuna uncedo ekunyamekeleni abantwana, izilwanyana zasekhaya, indlu kunye nokutya. Ukugcina indlu yakho kunye nosapho kufuna nina nobabini kuba bobabini bobabini. Ngena ngaphakathi ngaphandle kokubuzwa. Qaphela ukuba yintoni ekufuneka yenziwe kwaye uyenze nje. Owu, kwaye ungamlindeli ukuba akuncome ngokwenza loo nto ngaphandle kokuba umncome ngokwenza izinto ukuze kugcinwe usapho kunye nomzi wakho.
3. Chithani ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye
Ngoku umbono wakhe wexesha elisemgangathweni unokwahluka kunelakho, ke qiniseka kwaye wenze izinto azithandayo kwaye ungazenzi nje ngezinto azenzayo nawe ukuze akukholise. (Imfihlo ekufuneka uyazi kukuba uyakonwabela ukuthetha nawe nokunxibelelana nawe kwinqanaba leemvakalelo.)
4. Hlonipha imfuno yakhe yokhuseleko lweemvakalelo
Ndifundile ukuba abafazi baxabisa ukhuseleko lweemvakalelo ngaphezulu kokhuseleko lwezezimali. Andazi ukuba kunjalo okanye hayi, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba abantu basetyhini kufuneka bazive bekhuselekile ukuveza izimvo zabo. Uninzi lwethu singabantu basetyhini abanemvakalelo kwaye kufuneka sazi ukuba abayeni bethu bayayihlonipha le nto ngathi.
(Sifuna abayeni bethu bazi ukuba sinovakalelo kwiimvakalelo zabo.)
Ukuba siziva singakhuselekanga ngokwasemphefumlweni, siqala ukuvala kwaye sijonge kwabanye ukwanelisa imfuno yethu yokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Ngoku anditsho ukuba siza kukhangela enye indoda (nangona abanye abantu besetyhini besenza), kodwa sizakuqala ukuchitha ixesha elininzi nabantu abasizalisekisayo-njengabahlobo kunye nosapho.
5. Yazi ukuba akanakuvele azicime iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakhe
Ndiyazi ukuba oku kubonakala ngathi kuyothusa kwabo bantu banokuthi babeka izinto ngaphandle kweengqondo zenu ngokulula, kodwa uninzi lwabasetyhini alunakukwenza oko. Sivame ukuba neengcinga ze-bazillion kunye neemvakalelo ezihamba ezingqondweni zethu ngalo lonke ixesha.
Ndiqinisekile ukuba usivile isiqhulo malunga nesibini esikwimeko yothando kwaye ngesiquphe athi, "Luhlaza". Uzama ukugcina ujoliso, kodwa akafuni kumhoya ukuze aphazamiseke athi, "Yintoni?" Uphendula athi, "Ndicinga ndiza kupenda igumbi lokulala luhlaza okwesibhakabhaka." Ewe, oko kumonakalisa imeko yakhe, kodwa usakulungele ukuya kuba ekugqibeleni wasombulula ingxaki awayenengxaki nayo ixesha elide! Kwaye, manene, yindlela esebenza ngayo ingqondo yomfazi.
Mnike ixesha ukuba ubanjwe yingcinga okanye yimvakalelo kwaye akakwazi ukuyibeka ecaleni. Ngomonde thetha naye malunga nayo ukumnceda ayicwangcise (SUKUZAMA UKUYISOMBULULA) kwaye kwakamsinya nje ukuba enze njalo, uya kubuyela kuye kwakhona.
6. Lwazi ulwimi lwakhe lothando kwaye ulusebenzisele inzuzo yakho
Ndiyathemba ukuba uvile ngencwadi kaGary Chapman yesi-5 yeeLwimi zothando ngaphambili. Ukuba akunjalo, kuya kufuneka uodole ikopi kwangoko. Isisekelo sikaChapman kukuba sonke ngokwendalo sinamava kwaye sibonisa uthando okungenani ngeendlela ezintlanu ezahlukeneyo. Kubalulekile ukuba ubonakalise uthando lwakho kumfazi wakho ngendlela evakalayo kuye endaweni yendlela eyenza eyona nto ibalulekileyo kuwe.
Umzekelo, masithi ulwimi lwakho lothando kukuchukumisa ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye uyaluthanda xa ekunikezela ngokuzenzekelayo kunye nokuphuza esidlangalaleni. Kwaye masithi ulwimi lwakhe luthando zizipho. Ukuba ucinga ukuba uya kuziva ngathi uyathandwa nguwe ngokuzenzekelayo ngokumwola aze akuphuze esidlangalaleni, uya kuba ulunge kakhulu. Akayi kuziva ukuba umbonisa uthando, uya kuziva ukuba ufumana iimfuno zakho zothando kwaye ungazihoyi.
7. Makhe
Le yindawo enye apho nobabini nifuna into enye. Ingxaki yeyokuba ngokwenkcubeko amadoda ayenza le nto kunabafazi. Thatha ixesha lokuba umazise ukuba umxabise kangakanani (kwaye nangaphezulu kwesondo).
Okukhona umkhuthaza kwaye umxabisa, kokukhona amandla kunye namandla aya kuba nawo okukhuthaza kunye nokukuxabisa. Yenye yezinto apho ukuba ukhokela ngomzekelo uya kuba nakho ukulandela umzekelo wakho.
Ndinqwenela ukuba ndikunike isiqinisekiso esenziwe ngentsimbi ngokuthi ngokungaguquguqukiyo ukwenza ezi zinto zisixhenxe ukuba umfazi wakho angonwaba kwaye ubomi bakho kunye buya kuba yinto emangalisayo, kodwa andikwazi. Onke amabhinqa ahlukile, kodwa phantse sonke siyaphendula ekubeni umyeni wethu enze umzamo wokuba ngumhlobo wethu osenyongweni. Kwaye unikwe ukuba umvuzo bubomi obonwabisayo kunye naye, ndiyacinga ukuba uyokonwabela ukuba ngumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni.