Umxholo
- UKerry noTim: Ukungcatshwa kubangelwa kukuphathwa ngabazali
- UCynthy noJerry: Inkohliso engapheliyo
- UTherese noHarvey: Iqabane elingakhathalelwanga
- UCarrie noJason: Aphikisiwe amathuba okukhulelwa
Ngaba wakhe wawuva umzekeliso wokumkani nokumkanikazi owathumela unyana wabo wamazibulo, omiselwe ukuba ngukumkani, kwiphulo lehlabathi lonke lokufuna umfazi ohloniphekileyo, onobubele, okrelekrele ukuba ahlanganyele etroneni yakhe? "Gcina amehlo akho evulekile," bacebise abazali bakhe ngokunyanzelisa xa izibulo labo lishiya uphando. Kunyaka kamva inkosana yabuya nokukhetha kwayo, amabhinqa aselula athandwa ngabazali bakhe. Ngomhla womtshato, ngamazwi anamandla kunalawo ayesetyenziswa ngaphambi kohambo lwakhe, abazali bakhe banika ingcebiso ebhekele phaya, ngeli xesha kwesi sibini: “Ngoku nifumene uthando lwenu lwaphakade, kufuneka nifunde ukugcina amehlo enu ngokungaphelelanga , njengoko uhoya kwaye uxolela bonke ubomi bakho bomtshato. Kwaye khumbula, ukuba wakha wenza into ebuhlungu nangayiphi na indlela, cela uxolo kwangoko. ”
Umhlobo osenyongweni onamava njengegqwetha loqhawulo-mtshato uphendule kubulumko balo mzekeliso: “Ngeendlela ezininzi ezithi izibini zenzakalisane okanye zikhuhle omnye umntu ngendlela engalunganga ngummangaliso wokuba abantu ababini banokuhlala kakuhle kunye. Ukungahoyi, ukukhetha imiba yakho, nokucela uxolo ngokuziphatha kakubi sesona siluleko silumkileyo. ”
Nangona umyalezo unobulumko, nangona kunjalo, ukuxolelwa akusoloko kulula ukufezekisa. Ewe, kunjalo, kulula ukuxolela umyeni olibele ukufowuna esithi uza kufika emva kwexesha kwisidlo sangokuhlwa xa esebenze kakhulu kwaye enexhala. Kulula ukuxolela umfazi xa elibele ukuthatha indoda yakhe kwisikhululo sikaloliwe xa esindwa luxanduva.
Kodwa sixolela njani xa siziva senzakele okanye singcatshiwe kukudibana okunzima okubandakanya ukungcatshwa, ilahleko kunye nokwaliwa? Amava andifundisile ukuba kwiimeko ezinje ngobulumko ayikokungcwaba ukwenzakala, umsindo okanye ingqumbo, kodwa kukufuna iingcebiso ukuze ufumane ukuqonda okupheleleyo nokwazi, indlela ethembekileyo yokuxolelwa ekwanika isikhokelo esifanelekileyo. Imizekelo yokuziqhelanisa kwam ekhanyisa le ndlela ilandelayo.
UKerry noTim: Ukungcatshwa kubangelwa kukuphathwa ngabazali
UKerry noTim (ayingawo amagama okwenyani, ewe), abazali benkwenkwana enenyanga ezine ubudala, badibana ekholejini kwaye bathandana emva kwale ntlanganiso. Abazali bakaTim, isibini esisityebi, bahlala iikhilomitha ezimbalwa ukusuka kunyana kunye nomolokazana wabo, ngelixa abazali bakaKerry, abanemali engathethekiyo, bahlala kumawaka eekhilomitha. Ngelixa umama kaKerry noTim bengavani, abazali bakaKerry bayonwabele inkampani yomkhwenyana wabo (njengoTim wabo) kwaye babesondele kwintombi yabo.
UTim noKerry bafune iingcebiso kuba bebengenakuyeka ukuphikisana ngesiganeko sakutshanje. Ngaphambi kokuzalwa konyana wabo uKerry wayekholelwa ekubeni yena noTim bavumile ukuba abayi kuqhagamshelana nabazali babo de kuzalwe usana. Ngokukhawuleza xa uKerry esiya kubeleka, nangona kunjalo, uTim ubhalele abazali bakhe, abaleke baya esibhedlele. UTim uchithe ixesha elininzi lomsebenzi kaKerry ebhalela abazali bakhe ebahlaziya ngenkqubela phambili. "UTim wandingcatsha," ngomsindo uKerry wachaza kwiseshoni yethu yokuqala, eqhubeka, "Abazali bam baqonda ukuba bazokuva kuthi emva kokubeleka kukhuselekile. UTim waphendula wathi, "Jonga Kerry, ndikuxelele into ekufuneka uyivile, kodwa ndikholelwa ekubeni abazali bam banelungelo lokwazi yonke into eyenzekayo."
Kwiinyanga ezintathu zomsebenzi onzima uTim wabona ukuba akalamkelanga inyathelo elibalulekileyo kwimitshato ephumeleleyo: isidingo sokutshintsha kokunyaniseka ukusuka kubazali ukuya kwiqabane, into eqondwa ngabazali bakaKerry. Uye wabona ukuba kufanelekile ukuba nentliziyo ethetha ngentliziyo kunye nomama wakhe, awathi waqonda ukuba ujonge umfazi wakhe ngenxa yokuswela ubutyebi babazali bakhe kunye noko bakuthatha "njengokuswela isikhundla sentlalo."
UKerry wabona kufanelekile ukuba enze ubuhlobo nomamazala wakhe, awayeqonda ukuba "akanakuba mbi - ngapha koko, ukhulise unyana omangalisayo." Ngokulindelwe ngokucacileyo nguTim kumama wakhe, kunye nokuzimisela kukaTerry ukuyeka ingqumbo, uxinzelelo lwancipha, kwaye isahluko esitsha, esihle saqala kusapho lonke.
UCynthy noJerry: Inkohliso engapheliyo
UCynthy noJerry babeneminyaka engama-35 ubudala, kwaye babetshatile iminyaka esi-7. Ngamnye wabo wayezinikele kwikhondo lomsebenzi, kwaye enganqweneli nabantwana. UCynthy weza kwicounselling yedwa, njengoko uJerry enqabile ukujoyina. UCynthy waqala ukukhala kwakugqitywa ukuvalwa kweofisi yam, echaza ukuba uphulukene nokuthembela kumyeni wakhe, “andazi ukuba ndijike ngaphi kwaye ndonzakele kwaye ndinomsindo kuba andicingi ukuba ubusuku bukaJerry obunxulumene nomsebenzi, kodwa akazukuthetha nam ngokwenzekayo. ” Ecacisa ngakumbi, uCynthy wabelana, "UJerry akasenamdla wokwenza uthando, kwaye ubonakala engenamdla kum njengomntu. "
Ngexesha leenyanga ezintathu besebenza kunye, uCynthy waqonda ukuba umyeni wakhe wamxokisa emtshatweni wabo wonke. Ukhumbule isiganeko kwasekuqaleni kobomi babo bomtshato xa uCynthy ethathe ikhefu emsebenzini wakhe njengomgcini zincwadi zemali ukukhokela ibhidi yomhlobo osondeleyo kwiofisi eyonyulwe ngurhulumente. Emva konyulo, olwaphulukana nomhlobo wakhe ngeevoti ezimbalwa, uJerry uxelele uCynthy ngokungakhathali nangokuvuya, “Wayengumgqatswa wakho, hayi owam. Ndizenze ngathi ndiyamxhasa ukuze ndikuvale. ”
Ngexesha lenyanga yesihlanu yonyango, uCynthy waxelela uJerry ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana. Waphuma ngovuyo, kwaye uCynthy waqonda ukuba uyakhululeka ngokuchitha ixesha nomnye. Kungekudala emva kokuba efumene umdla kuye welungu leklabhu yencwadi yakhe owaswelekelwa ngumfazi kunyaka ongaphambili, kwaye ubudlelwane babo bakhula ngokukhawuleza. UCynthy wayekuthanda kakhulu ukwazi abantwana bakaCarl, amantombazana amabini amancinci, aneminyaka emi-6 kunye nesi-7 Ngeli xesha uJerry waqonda ukuba wenze impazamo enkulu. Ukucela umfazi wakhe ukuba alahle izicwangciso zoqhawulo mtshato kwaye amxolele, waxelelwa, "Ewe kunjalo, ndiyakuxolela. Undizisele ukuqonda okungakumbi ukuba ndingubani, kwaye kutheni kufuneka uqhawulo-mtshato lubaluleke kangaka. ”
UTherese noHarvey: Iqabane elingakhathalelwanga
UTherese noHarvey babenamawele, abaneminyaka eli-15 ubudala, xa uHarvey wathandana nomnye umfazi. Ngexesha leseshoni yethu yokuqala, uTherese uveza ingqumbo malunga nokuthandana kwakhe, kwaye uHarvey wathi naye wayenomsindo kuba ubomi bomfazi wakhe bujikeleze oonyana babo. Kumazwi kaHarvey, "UTherese walibala kudala ukuba unendoda, kwaye andinako ukumxolela ngenxa yoku kungazi. Kutheni ndingafuni ukuchitha ixesha elininzi nomntu obhinqileyo onomdla kum? ” Ukunyaniseka kukaHarvey yayiyinyani yokuvuka komfazi wakhe.
UTherese wayezimisele ukuqonda izizathu zokuziphatha angakhange akuqonde okanye angaziqapheli kwaye wakhawuleza waqonda ukuba ngenxa yokuba utata wakhe kunye nomntakwabo babhubhe kunye kwingozi yemoto xa wayeneminyaka eyi-9, waye wazibandakanya kakhulu noonyana bakhe, ababizwa ngokuba nguyise ongasekhoyo kwaye ubhuti. Ngale ndlela, wayekholelwa ukuba angakwazi ukubakhusela kwinto enye noyise kunye nomntakwabo. UHarvey waqonda ukuba kufanelekile ukuba athethe ngomsindo wakhe kunye nokudana umfazi kungekudala, kunokuba ayivumele ikhule. Ngexesha lokuqonda ngokudibeneyo, umcimbi kaHarvey wawusele uphelile; ukuqonda kwabasondeza ngakumbi kunangaphambili; kwaye ukuqonda kwanciphisa wonke umsindo.
UCarrie noJason: Aphikisiwe amathuba okukhulelwa
UCarrie walibazisa ukukhulelwa kuba uJason wayengaqinisekanga ukuba ufuna umntwana. "Ndiyathanda ukukhululeka kuthi ukuba sithathe kwaye sonwabe nanini na sifuna," wamxelela kaninzi. Andifuni ukuyeka. ” UJason wayengafuni ukuba ngumzali xa iwotshi kaCarrie yebhayoloji, eneminyaka engama-35 ubudala, yaqala ukukhwaza “Ngoku okanye Ungaze! ”
Okwangoku uCarrie wagqiba kwelokuba kunye okanye ngaphandle kukaJason, wayezimisele ukukhulelwa. Lo mahluko ubonakala ungasombululeki, kunye nomsindo wabo omnye komnye kwiminqweno ekungekho kuvunyelwana ngayo, kubazisile kunyango.
Ngexesha lomsebenzi wethu uJason waqonda ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato lwabazali bakhe xa wayeneminyaka elishumi ubudala, notata owayengenamdla kuye, wamenza woyika ukuba "akanazo izinto zokuba ngutata." Nangona kunjalo, njengoko umsebenzi wethu uqhubela phambili wabona konke okwala inkosikazi yakhe, kwaye wathembisa "ukufunda ukuba yile nto bekufanele ukuba ndiyifundile." Le nkxaso nemfesane yehlisa umsindo kaCarrie, kwaye, ewe, uJason waqonda ukuba umsindo wakhe kuCarrrie "wawungekho ngqiqweni kwaye ukhohlakele."
Ngeli xesha, nangona kunjalo, iimvavanyo ezingenakubalwa zilandela imizamo kaCarrie yokukhulelwa (uJason uhlala ecaleni likaCarrie) watyhila ukuba amaqanda kaCarrie ebemdala kakhulu ukuba angachunyiswa. Ukuqhubeka kokubonisana kwakhokelela ekufundeni kwesi sibini malunga nokuba kungenzeka ukuba "iqanda lomnikeli," kwaye kunye uCarrie noJason bafuna iarhente enesidima kwaye bafumana umnikeli okhethwe ngononophelo. Ngoku bangabazali bakaJenny, iminyaka emithathu. Bavuma ngelithi: “Singamthemba njani omnye umntu omangalisa ngaphezu kwentombi yethu?” Kunye nokuninzi. Kumazwi kaJason, “Ndiyabulela ukuba ndingafunda ukubona konke endandikukhanyele umfazi endimthandayo kakhulu, kwaye ndinombulelo wokuba ndizinike olu lonwabo ekwabelwana ngalo.”