Umxholo
- Ithetha ukuthini "imvakalelo yokufunyanwa" kwaye kutheni kubalulekile kubudlelwane?
- Indawo eyedwa kwihlabathi kukuba ube ngumtshato olilolo
- Isizungu emtshatweni ikwangumbandela wokungathembeki
- 1. Qala ngokuzifumanisa kwakhona
- 3. Sebenzela ekufumaneni iindlela ezingcono zokuqalisa incoko enentsingiselo
Ngexesha lokwahlukana kwakhe nomfazi wakhe uKatie, uBen, njengoko kwakudlalwe nguBruce Willis kwi-movie ye-1999 Ibali lethu, ukhumbula amava 'okuziva efumaneke' kuye ekuthandaneni kwabo kwasekuqaleni.
Ukuqhekeza "udonga lwesine, uxelele abaphulaphuli ukuba xa kufikwa kubudlelwane, akukho mvakalelo ilungileyo emhlabeni kunokuba" uzive ufumanekile. "
Ithetha ukuthini "imvakalelo yokufunyanwa" kwaye kutheni kubalulekile kubudlelwane?
Ukuziva ufumene yeyona nto iphambili ekudibaniseni ngempumelelo.
Xa uziva "uzuziwe" ngomnye wakho obalulekileyo, uziva waziwa, uxabisekile, ubalulekile kwaye uyaphila.
Xa abantu abathandanayo bethandana, bachitha amandla abo amaninzi bebeka olona nyawo lwabo lubalaseleyo ukunxibelelana nezinto abanomdla kuzo, ezembali kunye neziqu zabo kumaqabane abo amatsha. Oku kudala iqhina elinamandla xa kubuyiswa. "Ukuziva ufumene" kukhokelela kwimvakalelo yokuqhagamshela.
Ngelishwa, ekuhambeni kwexesha izibini ezizinikeleyo zihlala ziphulukana nolu nxibelelwano. Endaweni yokuba "bazive belahlekile", ngoku baziva "belibele." Ndihlala ndisiva izikhalazo kunyango lwezibini ezinje ngala: "Iqabane lam lixakeke kakhulu ngumsebenzi okanye abantwana ukuba bachithe ixesha kunye nam." "Iqabane lam libonakala lixakekile kwaye alikho." "Omnye wam obalulekileyo uchitha lonke ixesha labo kuFacebook okanye kwi-imeyile kwaye akandihoyi."
Kwimeko nganye, iqabane liziva lingabalulekanga, "lingaphantsi" kwaye "lilibalekile."
Njengokuba kungekho mvakalelo ilungileyo emhlabeni kunokuba "uzive ufumanekile", akukho mvakalelo imbi emhlabeni "ukuziva ulibele."
Indawo eyedwa kwihlabathi kukuba ube ngumtshato olilolo
Njengoko umama wayedla ngokundixelela, eyona ndawo inesithukuthezi emhlabeni kukuba semtshatweni onesizungu. Inzululwazi yezentlalo iyayixhasa le ngcaciso. Ubulolo buneziphumo ezininzi ezingalunganga zomzimba kunye neemvakalelo. Kuchanekile ukuthi, enyanisweni, "ubulolo buyabulala."
Isizungu emtshatweni ikwangumbandela wokungathembeki
Umnqweno wokunxibelelana unamandla kangangokuba abantu baya kufuna unxibelelwano kwinto entsha yothando ukuba abaziva bexhunyiwe ekhaya.
Ke, zingenza ntoni izibini ukuze zikhulule ngakumbi "ukuzuzwa" kwaye "zingalibaleki" kwimitshato yazo? Nanga amanye amacebiso.
1. Qala ngokuzifumanisa kwakhona
Gcina iphepha leemvakalelo.
Rekhoda amaphupha akho. Phuthuma iinkanuko zakho. Yandisa indlela onxibelelana ngayo nabantu. Phambi kokuba uzive unesithukuthezi kubambiswano lwakho, unokufuna ukuqala ngokwakho ukwandisa inqanaba lakho lokunxibelelana.
2. Khetha ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha neqabane lakho kwaye ninxibelelane neemvakalelo zenu zokuba lilolo kunye nokuzahlula.
Sebenzisa iingxelo zika “Mna” kunokuba uthi “Wena” kuya kunceda kakhulu ukuba nencoko enemveliso. Hlala kwiimvakalelo endaweni yezimangalo. "Xa usefowunini yakho ebusuku, ndiziva ndingabalulekanga kwaye ndililolo" kungenzeka ukuba isebenze ngcono kunokuthi "Uhlala usefowunini yakho kwaye indenza ndizive ngathi awundithandi."
Cela into oyifunayo kunokuba ukhalaze malunga nento ongayifuniyo. "Ndingathanda sichithe ixesha elisemgangathweni sincokola" kungenzeka ukuba isebenze ngcono kunokuba "Ndifuna uyeke ukungahoyi."
3. Sebenzela ekufumaneni iindlela ezingcono zokuqalisa incoko enentsingiselo
Unxibelelwano oluhle luhlala lubandakanya ukusebenzisa imibuzo efanelekileyo ukulungiselela incoko. Le nkqubo iyahambelana nokufumana isitshixo esifanelekileyo sokuvula isitshixo.
Eyona mibuzo imbi yokuququzelela ingxoxo efanelekileyo yile ifana nokuthi "belunjani usuku lwakho emsebenzini" okanye "ubenosuku oluhle esikolweni."
Le mibuzo ibanzi kakhulu kwaye ihlala iveza impendulo engacacanga ("intle") kunayo nayiphi na into enentsingiselo. Endaweni yokuba ndicebise ukuba uzame imibuzo enje: okanye "Yintoni eyona nto uzisola ngayo?".
Ngelixa "ukuziva uzuziwe" inokuba linyathelo elibalulekileyo kwinkqubo yokutshatisa, kulula ukuphulukana naloo mvakalelo ekuhambeni kwexesha ngenxa yeengcinezelo ezininzi abajamelana nazo abantu abatshatileyo kwihlabathi lanamhlanje elixakekileyo. Ndiyathemba ukuba iingcebiso endikunike zona ziyakukuvumela wena neqabane lakho ukuba nizive ngathi "nilibele" kwaye "nizuze" kubambiswano lwenu ngaphandle kwezi ngxaki zininzi zobomi banamhlanje.