Umxholo
- Uhlobo lwenkxaso oyifumanayo
- Kwenzeka ntoni xa kukho ingxaki?
- Ngaba unokuxolela aze alibale?
- Ukunika indawo
- Ukuhlonipha izinto ezingcwele kubudlelwane bakho
Kwanasemva kweminyaka betshatile (okanye ngakumbi emva kweminyaka emininzi yomtshato kwezinye iimeko) amadoda ahlala ecingisisa ngengxaki yangaphakathi: “NGABA ngenene uyandithanda?” Nangona kwilizwe elifanelekileyo lokuthandana awusoze uluthandabuze uthando lomfazi wakho, inyani yezinto kukuba zininzi iindlela apho amaqabane ahlukana ngokwasemoyeni. Ngamanye amaxesha, khange babe sendleleni enye, ukuqala.
Ke, nazi izinto ezintlanu ekufuneka uziqwalasele ukuba awuqinisekanga ngothando lomfazi wakho kuwe.
Uhlobo lwenkxaso oyifumanayo
Inkxaso ayifumanayo kwiqabane lakhe ibalulekile kwimpilo yomntu. Ngaphandle kokukhuthazwa ngumfazi wakho, yonke imiqobo eqhelekileyo yobomi inokuba nzima kabini. Ewe, ayisiyonto isebenza kumadoda odwa, kokubini amadoda nabafazi bayaphumelela xa befumana inkxaso eyoneleyo kumaqabane abo obomi.
Kodwa, kukho into enje ngenkxaso eyoneleyo kunye nenkxaso engonelanga. Xa uzibuza ukuba ngaba umfazi wakho uyakuthanda nyani, cinga ngohlobo lokukhuthaza akunika lona.
Ngaba isuka entliziyweni? Ngaba inyanisekile? Ngaba uhlala ecaleni kwakho esidlangalaleni, kodwa ngaba ukwazisa ukuba ungaphucula ntoni xa uwedwa? Olu luhlobo olufanelekileyo lwenkxaso enikezelwa ngabo basithandayo - ukunyaniseka kodwa kudityaniswe nomnqweno wokwenene wokukhula kwethu.
Kwenzeka ntoni xa kukho ingxaki?
Nokuba yintoni eyenzekayo phakathi kwamaqabane mihla le, lixesha leengxaki apho imibala yokwenyani ityhilwa. Sukulugweba uthando lomfazi wakho ngokusekwe kwinto yokuba usoloko ejonga malunga nokukhupha inkunkuma. Okanye ukuba uhlehlisile usuku lwakho ebusuku ukuba aye kubona abahlobo bakhe. Ezi inokuba zizinto ezinokubeka ukuthandabuza engqondweni yakho, kodwa akukho nanye ebonisa ukuba uthando lwakhe aluyonyani.
Yintoni ekufuneka ujolise kuyo yile-xa uthumela i-SOS, kwenzeka ntoni? Into kukuba, nangona sihlala sithatha kancinci amaqabane ethu yonke imihla, xa kuvela ingxaki, abo bathanda ngokwenyani baya kushiya konke ukuzingca kwaye bangene ukunceda iqabane elifunayo.
Ngaba umfazi wakho ubeka ecaleni yonke into, kubandakanya neengxabano zakho, xa umfuna ngokwenene? Olu luphawu oluqinisekileyo lokuba uyakuthanda ngokwenene.
Ngaba unokuxolela aze alibale?
Ngokufanelekileyo, bekungekho nto ukuxolela. Kodwa, inyani yezinto ihleli-ihlala ikhona. Wonke umtshato uqokelela inzondo okanye ezimbini apha endleleni. Ngelishwa, kwiimeko ezininzi, ngakumbi ukuba esi sibini asilufumani uncedo lobuchwephesha, ezi ntlungu ziyasuswa kubudlelwane. Uthando yeyona nto ibalulekileyo emtshatweni ophethwe yingcinezelo yobukrakra.
Ke, xa wenze into ephosakeleyo emfazini wakho, uyiphatha njani? Ukuba wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuyifumana kuye, ngaba naye wenza iinzame zokukuxolela?
Umbuzo ofanayo kufuneka ubuzwe xa kufikwa kwizinto ezinkulu kunye nezincinci. Ukuxolela akulungile kuwe kuphela, kunye nobudlelwane bakho, kodwa nakwinkosikazi yakho. Kwaye, ukuba wenze eyakho indima ukulungisa, uthando lwenene luya kukhokela umfazi wakho ukuba akuxolele.
Ukunika indawo
Nangona isenokuvakala ingangqinelani nothando, uthando lokwenyani luyahloniphana umntu ngamnye. Uninzi lwethu, xa lubuzwa ukuba lufane nomfanekiso wesibini esigqibeleleyo, cinga amaqabane angaze ahlukane kwaye alichitha lonke ixesha labo kunye ekuhlekeni naseluthandweni.
Nangona ixesha elidibeneyo libaluleke kakhulu kwizibini ezitshatileyo, kukwakhona icala elimnyama lokuba nexhala lokwahlukana kubudlelwane. Luphawu lokuncamathiselwa okungakhuselekanga, kwaye ingekuko olokwenene uthando.
Kubudlelwane obusempilweni, izibini ziyakhula kunye, kodwa nanjengabantu ngabanye. Ke, xa ungaqinisekanga ngohlobo lothando lomfazi wakho, zibuze-ngaba uyakuvumela ukuba uhlale umntu owahlukileyo? Ngaba uyayixhasa kwaye uyayikhuthaza iminqweno yakho kunye namabhongo, nangona engambandakanyi? Ngaba ubhiyozela impumelelo kunye nawe nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba kuye kwafuneka ancame ixesha lakho kunye naye?
Ukuhlonipha izinto ezingcwele kubudlelwane bakho
Kukho imigca ethile engasoze yawela kulwalamano ngalunye, nokuba yeyothando okanye eyeshishini. Nokuba wenzakele kangakanani, ukruqukile, uphoxekile, okanye unomsindo umntu omnye unokuthi, kukho indawo enye abangavumelekanga ukuba babeke ukungakhathali kuyo. Okanye, umtshato unokuqhawuka. Uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo, kukungathembeki, ubundlongondlongo, iziyobisi, ukuba buhlungu malunga namanye amava abuhlungu okanye ukungazithembi.
Kukho iimeko apho umfazi engenakho ukuvelana nendoda yakhe, njengaxa ekuyoumhlobo.
Kwaye ii-narcissists, ubukhulu becala, azinako ukuba nothando lwenene. Nangona kunjalo, kuzo zonke iimeko, ukungayihloniphi le miqobo ingcwele kuthetha ukuba umfazi uthanda eyakhe i-ego ngaphezu kwendoda yakhe.