Ngaba Ubudlelwane obuVulekileyo buyasebenza?

Umbhali: Louise Ward
Umhla Wokudalwa: 3 Eyomdumba 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 2 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Ngaba Ubudlelwane obuVulekileyo buyasebenza? - I-Psychology
Ngaba Ubudlelwane obuVulekileyo buyasebenza? - I-Psychology

Umxholo

"Sinobudlelwane obuvulekileyo". Ngaba ukhe uzibuze ukuba kuthetha ntoni oko?

Ngamafutshane, ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo ngumtshato okanye ubudlelwane bokuthandana apho amaqabane amabini evumelekileyo ukuba namanye amaqabane ezesondo ngaphandle kokuzibophelela kwabo komnye nomnye.

Olu luvo lwangena kwifashoni kwii-1970s, kwaye bubudlelwane obuqaphelekayo unanamhla.

Bisebenza njani ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo: imigaqo.

Ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo busekwe kwimvumelwano yokungahlali nomntu omnye.

Ngokwesiqhelo oku kusebenza kuwo omabini amaqabane kubudlelwane, kodwa kukho imizekelo yelinye lamaqabane akhetha ukuhlala yedwa, kodwa avume, okanye axhase, elinye iqabane linandipha ubudlelwane bezesondo namaqabane amaninzi angaphandle kolwalamano oluphambili.


Umgaqo jikelele kukuba yonke imisebenzi yesondo kufuneka yenziwe ngokukhuselekileyo, ngokuziphatha, kunye nemvume yabo bonke ababandakanyekayo.

Isiseko sihlala sithembekile kwaye sisebenza elubala.

Ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bufuna ukungabikho komona okanye ubunini, okanye ayizukusebenza ngendlela esempilweni.

Njani ukuba kubudlelwane evulekileyo?

Ngubani okhetha ukuba nobudlelwane obuvulekileyo? Ngaba ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bunokusebenza?

Kuya kufuneka ukhululeke ngombono wokungabodwa ngenxa yokuba kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo kuqikelelwa kule nto.

Abantu abalamkela oluhlobo lobudlelwane bathi "bayazi" ukuba abanakuba bodwa, kwaye bahlala bonwabela ukuba namaqabane ahlukeneyo, kwaye imodeli yolwalamano oluqhelekileyo esekwe kukuthembeka kwiqabane elinye ayisebenzi kubo.

Bathi kubonakala ngathi ayiqhelekanga kwaye banobunzima bokulawula kwiminqweno yabo yokulala nabanye abantu.

Ukuba uthetha nabantu abakubudlelwane obuvulekileyo, banokukuxelela ukuba ukuba kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo kubanika okona kulungileyo kuwo omabini amazwe: inkululeko kunye nokuzibophelela.


Banamaqabane abo aphambili, abathandayo kwaye bachitha uninzi lwexesha labo kunye nabo, kwaye banamaqabane esini esibini.

Ukuba nobudlelwane obuvulekileyo

Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo?

Lonke ulwalamano oluvulekileyo lunemigaqo yalo, kodwa amaqabane esiqhelo ahlala ngokwesondo. Ukuba umntu ufumanisa ukuba basondela kakhulu ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane elingelilo lokuqala, bahlala beyeka ukumbona loo mntu okanye loo mfazi. (Oku kwahlukile kubudlelwane obuphindaphindeneyo, obuvumela amaqabane ukuba enze zombini ubudlelwane bezesondo kunye neemvakalelo nabanye abantu abangaphandle kobudlelwane bokuqala.)

Ubuhlobo obuvulekileyo bunokusebenza njani?

Ukuze oku kube yimpumelelo, omabini amaqabane kufuneka abe ebhodini.

Ngokwesiqhelo bobabini abantu baya konwaba ngaphandle kwamaqabane ezesondo, kodwa hayi oko. Kukho ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo apho elinye iqabane lihlala lodwa xa elinye livunyelwe, ngemvume epheleleyo, ukulala nabanye abantu. Oku kunokuba ngenxa yokuba elinye iqabane lingasakwazi ukwenza isondo, okanye liphulukene nomdla kwezesondo, kodwa liqhubeke lithanda iqabane lalo kwaye linqwenela ukuhlala emtshatweni kwaye libone iqabane lonwabile.


Kodwa eyona nto iphambili yile: ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bunokusebenza kuphela ukuba kubandakanya ukuthembeka malunga nokuba ulele nabani, ugcina itsheki, kwaye ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into uyenza icace kwiqabane lakho eliphambili ukuba "ngabo".

Intlonipho, unxibelelwano, kunye nokugcina ubomi bakho bokuqala besondo bonwabile kubalulekile ekwenzeni ubudlelwane bakho obuvulekileyo busebenze.

Ukuthandana nomntu kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo

Udibene nomfana owoyikisayo kwaye ukuxelela ukuba usebudlelwaneni obuvulekileyo. Eli inokuba lithuba lokuba ufunde ngemida yakho.

Ukuba umthanda ngokwenene kwaye ufuna ukuqhubeka nokumbona, zibuze le mibuzo ilandelayo:

Unomona kangakanani?

Ukuba ufuzo lwakho olunomona lolomeleleyo, awungekhe wonwabe ngokwazi ukuba uneqabane eliphambili kunye namanye amaqabane akwizibini

Ngaba ufuna ukuzibophelela kubudlelwane?

Ukuba umntu wakho sele ebudlelwaneni bokuqala, awuyi kufumana inqanaba lokuzibophelela onokufuna kuye.

Ukuba, kwelinye icala, unomdla wokuzama uhlobo lwenkululeko ulwalamano oluvulekileyo olunokukunika, kutheni ungaqhubeli phambili?

UKristina uluchaza ngale ndlela ulwalamano lwakhe oluvulekileyo: “Ndandineminyaka engama-20 nditshatile kwindoda enezinto, enomona. Wayephuma kwinkcubeko — eMorocco — eyayibajonga abafazi njengezinto abanazo. Andinakuba nabahlobo abangamadoda; wayesoloko endikrokrela kwaye endigcina ndithimba izinto zabantu! ” Ekugqibeleni ndafaka uqhawulo mtshato kwaye kwangoko ndamisa iprofayili kwiTinder.

Ndifuna ukuthandana namadoda ahlukeneyo kwaye ndenzele ixesha elilahlekileyo!

KwiTinder ndadibana noPhil, umFrentshi owayefuna ubudlelwane obungakhethiyo. Iprofayile yakhe yathi konke: "Ufuna iqabane lokwabelana ngesondo, rhoqo okanye amaxesha ngamaxesha." Njengam, wayesandula ukushiya ubudlelwane bexesha elide kwaye wayefuna ukulala nabafazi abaninzi abahlukeneyo.

Kuba andifuni ukuzibophelela kwindoda enye, uPhil wayengumdlalo ofanelekileyo kum. Ngoku sinobudlelwane obuvulekileyo unyaka, kwaye sesinye sezibini ezonwabileyo endizaziyo. Singamaqabane aphambili omnye nomnye, kodwa xa uPhil efumana ukurhawuzelela "ukuzama elinye ibhinqa" njengoko ebeka, uyazi ukuba angakwenza oku ngemvume yam epheleleyo. Kwaye xa ndifuna ukuba neentlobano zesini ezahlukeneyo, ulungile kunye nam xa sidibana nabanye abafana. ”

Kutheni ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bungasebenzi kwabanye?

Ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo abuphumeleli ukuhambisa iphupha abathembisa ngalo umsinga ozinzileyo wamaqabane ohlukeneyo ezesondo. Ezinye zezizathu eziphambili zokuba ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo abusebenzi kubandakanya:

  1. Omnye wamaqabane Ukuqonda ukuba ndifuna ukuba yedwa emveni kwakho konke.
  2. Amaqabane amaninzi ezesondo linciphisa ithuba lomntu lokwenza iibhondi ezinzulu nabantu abelana nabo ngemizimba yabo.
  3. Ukoyika ii-STD okanye ukubamba nokusasaza i-STD.
  4. Ukuzithemba kwakho kungonakaliswa, ngakumbi ukuba iqabane lakho lokuqala liqala ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kakhulu kunye nomntu ojongeka kakhulu kunawe.
  5. Njengoko ukhula, ngokwendalo Ndifuna ukuzibophelela kumntu omnye. Indawo engatshatanga ayenzi nto kwakhona kuwe.

Ekupheleni kosuku, nguwe kuphela onokugqiba ukuba ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo buza kuhlangabezana na neemfuno zakho. Cinga ukuba zeziphi ezi zinto ngononophelo ngaphambi kokuba ungene kolu lwalamano lutsha lunamandla.