Umxholo
- Ukufaneleka kweengcebiso zeengcali
- Ukujikeleza ingcali-Elona cebiso lihle kuqhawulo mtshato
- Okukwintsusa
Ukufaneleka kweengcebiso zeengcali
Uqhawulo-mtshato sesinye sezona meko zibuhlungu umntu anokuzinyamezela.
Nokuba ucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato okanye uthathe isigqibo sokuwubiza ngokuthi uyeke, kubalulekile ukuba ufune ungenelelo olungakunceda ukuba uhambe kwinkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato okanye ubuyisele umtshato wakho, ukuba uyavuma.
Iingcali zichitha indlela iingcebiso ngezibini ezinokukunceda ngayo ugcine umtshato ojingayo, ukumisela oonobangela bobudlelwane obuqhekekileyo, kwaye bathathe isigqibo ngekhondo ekufuneka ulithathile - ukwahlula okanye ukudibana kwakhona.
Iingcali zibonelela ngeyona ngcebiso yoqhawulo mtshato kwizibini zozibini eziphelweni zembonakalo.
Kwabo bajonge ukukrwela umphezulu ukuze baqonde ukuba yintoni ebangele iingxabano emtshatweni kwaye bajonge ekuvuseleleni ukoneliseka kobudlelwane emtshatweni wabo, nakwabo banqwenela ukuphelisa umtshato.
Kukho imibuzo emininzi ebalulekileyo ephonononga indlela umtshato owonwabe ngayo wabetha umngxuma ongenasiphelo. Imibuzo ekunceda uqonde ukuba ngaba kukho indawo yokubuyisela umtshato owonwabileyo okanye hayi.
Iingcali zikwaveza ezona ngcebiso ziqhawule umtshato zoba kukunceda ujonge imeko ngokuchanekileyo, xa ujonge ukupheliswa komtshato.
Xa umtshato uphela, kubalulekile ukuba ungayithathi imithwalo kulwalamano olukhoyo olukhoyo ukuya kolulandelayo. Kubalulekile ukuba ungagqitywanga kwintloko yakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato, kwaye ufunde ukuzonwabisa.
Okubaluleke ngokufanayo kukufunda indlela yokuhlangula abantwana kumonakalo owenzekileyo kubudlelwane obuqhekekileyo kwaye uqhubeke nokuba ngumzali ngokufanelekileyo.
Ukujikeleza ingcali-Elona cebiso lihle kuqhawulo mtshato
Funda elona cebiso lihle lokuqhawula umtshato kwizibini ezitshatileyo ziingcali ukuqonda ubudlelwane obusenyongweni kumtshato ongonwabanga, kwaye ufikelele ekucaciseni malunga nendlela okhetha ukuya ngayo phambili.
UAmanda Patterson
Funa iingcebiso zesibini kunye nokugqiba yonke imizamo yakho ngaphambi kokuthatha isigqibo sokuyishiya iyekile.
Vula uvule ukwazi ukuba esi sibini sinokufumana iingcebiso ezinokulungisa okona kwenzakala kubudlelwane, njengemicimbi, ukushiywa, kunye nokulwa okungapheliyo. Tweet oku
Fumana umcebisi womtshato oqeqeshwe kwisitayile esithile sokucebisa ngomtshato.
Umtoli omnyama
Ubudlelwane njengayo nayiphi na into ebomini sisakhono esinokufundwa.
Kukho izizathu kunye neziphumo ekudlaleni kuyo yonke into.
Ukuba ucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato, konke okufuneka ukwenze kukujonga zonke izizathu ezikhokelela kwiziphumo ezingathandekiyo ojamelene nazo ngoku. Tweet oku
Emva koko, kuya kufuneka wenze oonobangela abatsha abakhokelela kwiziphumo ezingcono ozifunayo.
Kodwa ukwenza njani oko?
1. Zibuze "kutheni" amaxesha ama-5 ukuze ufike kwesona sizathu sokuba kutheni ukwesi sikhundla kwasekuqaleni
Isizathu sokuba kufuneka siphindwe ka-5 kukuba iimpendulo zokuqala zalo mbuzo ziya kutyhila kuphela iingxaki zomaleko womphezulu.
Ngokomndilili, emva kokumba nzulu kwaye sibuze ukuba kutheni kwisizathu ngasinye esilandelayo sityhila, sisondela kwaye sisondela kwisiseko sengcambu.
Kuba asifuni kunyanga iimpawu, ukunyanga oyena nobangela kubaluleke kakhulu, kuba iingxaki ziya kuhlala zivela ngeendlela ezininzi.
2. Qonda ukuba imitshato elungileyo sisiphumo sokuqonda okufanelekileyo kokutshintsha kobudlelwane
Emva kokutyhila oyena nobangela wokuba kutheni imeko imbi kangaka, ndingacebisa ukuba ndibhale phantsi kwaye ndiqale ngokujongana nayo nganye nganye.
Ngoku endaweni yokumangalelana, ninokwamkela uxanduva ngokwenzekayo.
Uya kuba nakho ukubona imeko ngokungakhethi cala. Ngoku unento onokuthi usebenze nayo, iseti yeengxaki ezinokulawulwa zize zisonjululwe.
Ndingathi ungavuya ngayo kuba le nto inokuba yiprojekthi encinci onokuthi usebenze kuyo njengesibini, kwaye le nto inokusondeza.
Kwelinye icala, unganakho ukuqonda kweli nqanaba ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato yindlela yokuhamba, kwaye olo hlobo lokucaca luya kunciphisa ukubuyela umva.
3. Qala ukudibanisa isicwangciso esiya kuthi sijongane nezona zinto zibangela iingxaki ojamelana nazo
Ke masithi sifumanise oyena nobangela; ngoku lixesha lokuba ufumane ukuqonda okufanelekileyo-enokuthi ibe kukubonisana, iikhosi zobudlelwane, njl.
Njengomzekelo- masithi siye sahamba nge-5 kwaye saqonda ukuba akukho buhlobo kubudlelwane kuba isibini siqale ukusithathela ingqalelo, kwaye iimvakalelo ababekhe babelana ngazo ziphelile.
Emva kokufumana ukuqonda okufanelekileyo kwizifundo malunga nendlela yokuvuselela iintlantsi kubudlelwane, njl njl.
Leyo inokuba yingxoxo ethembekileyo malunga nokuba yeyiphi imikhwa emitsha kunye nesimo sengqondo kunye nokuzincama okulungeleyo ukukwenzela omnye nomnye.
Ezo ziya kukomeleza njengesibini kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo zinokulungisa oyena nobangela weempawu (ucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato).
Ukubuyela kumzekelo wokungabikho kufutshane- ungacwangcisa kwikhalenda isidlo sangokuhlwa rhoqo ngeCawa kwindawo yokutyela yothando. Ungayicwangcisa ngokwenyani iinyanga ezintathu ngaphambi kwexesha, kwaye intsalela iya kuza kwifowuni yakho kwaye uza kugcina umtshato wakho ngesidlo sangokuhlwa esinye ngexesha.
Emva kohlalutyo lwakho, unokwazi ukuba into eyingxaki kukuba omnye wenu uhlala efowunini. Indlela esebenzayo yokujongana naloo nto kukuseta umgaqo wokungasebenzisi fowuni ekufuneka nibambelele kuwo.
Into efuneka kuqala koku ngokucacileyo kukuzimisela ukuba bobabini abantu babeka ii-egos zabo bucala bodwa kwaye banononophelo olwaneleyo omnye komnye ukwenza izinto zilunge ukuba banokubona ukukhanya ekupheleni kwetonela.
Ngaphandle kwalonto, bendiya kubeka ubudlelwane bumiswe kwaye ndingaboni nje okanye ndingatsalelani umnxeba iveki ukuze ndibone indlela esivakalelwa ngayo xa ingekho iqabane. Isenokuba ngumbono olungileyo wokuba umtshato uza kuvakalelwa njani kwezi nyanga zimbalwa zizayo.
Elo khefu ngokwalo linokwanela ukuvuselela iintlantsi kwaye sibone ngaphaya kokungafezeki komnye nomnye kwaye uphinde ufumane umbono wento ebalulekileyo.
ULaura Miolla
Uqhawulo-mtshato alunto yimbi ngaphandle kokuchithwa ngokusemthethweni kwesivumelwano somtshato, ukanti, abantu abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba asilunganga. Akunjalo. Ke, into yokuqala endifuna ukuba bayenze abathengi bam, xa bethathela ingqalelo uqhawulo-mtshato, kukuchonga kunye nokuyeka nakuphi na ukubekwa amabala okanye ukuqonda kwangaphambili abanamathela kuko. Ukuba ucinga ukuba iyakuba ngu-negative, iyakuba njalo. Ngokuchaseneyo, ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba iya kudala utshintsho olulungileyo kuwe nakubantwana bakho, hamba uye kufumana ulwazi. Funda ngenkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato kwaye ukhethe indlela ofuna ukuya ngayo phambili,
inyathelo nenyathelo. Ulwazi lucutha uloyiko, kwaye luya kukuxhobisa endaweni yokwenza ixhoba.Tweet oku
Ilene S. Cohen
Uqhawulo-mtshato yinto enzulu kakhulu ekufuneka uyicingile. Kukuphela kobudlelwane obubaluleke kakhulu kwaye obubalulekileyo. Kuya kusiba nzima ngakumbi ukuba abantwana bayabandakanyeka.
Endaweni yokufuna ingcebiso kubahlobo abaneenjongo ezintle kunye nabantu obathandayo, kubalulekile ukuba uzibuze imibuzo ethile, ujonge ngaphakathi, kwaye uza neempendulo ngokwakho. Tweet oku
Nalu uluhlu lwemibuzo ebalulekileyo ekufuneka uyiqwalasele ngaphambi kokutyikitya amaphepha oqhawulo-mtshato:
- Yintoni le iqabane lam ikhokelele ekubeni ndizibophelele kuye ubomi bam bonke?
- Ndingenza ntoni ngokwahlukileyo, ukuba ikhona into, ukwenza lo mtshato usebenze?
- Ngaba ndinomsindo nje ngoku, okanye ngaba uqhawulo-mtshato yinto endiyifunayo ngokwenene?
- Ndenze njani igalelo kuqhawulo mtshato oluzayo?
- Yintoni endingakhange ndiyizame?
- Ngaba ndikhuselekile kwiqabane lam langoku?
- Ngaba ndinike kakhulu iqabane lam kwiimeko ezingazukuphikisana nam?
- Ukuba ndithatha isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato, ndingenza ntoni ukulungiselela ngcono, ngakumbi ukuba abantwana bayabandakanyeka?
- Cinga ukuba loluphi uhlobo loqhawulo-mtshato onokulufuna, ukulamla, ukusebenzisana, njl.
- Cinga ngokufikelela kwingcali kwaye ufumane ukuba ungasebenza njani emtshatweni wakho?
- Cinga ukuba uluhlobo luni lomntu ofuna ukuba kule meko, kwaye zeziphi iinjongo zakho zexesha elide.
UGqr. Margaret Rutherford
Izinto ezintlanu ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe xa ucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato
Vavanya ngokungangqalanga njengoko unokukwazi ukungonwabi kwakho kulele kwinto ongakhange ujonge kuyo.
Qaphela ukuba ulindele ukuba umtshato uphumelele ngaphandle kokondla.
Qaphela ukuba uyinxalenye yengxaki, kwaye ukuba ayiphendulwanga, uya kuyiphatha loo ngxaki kubudlelwane bakho obulandelayo. Tweet oku
Fumana ingxelo enenjongo evela kunyangi kunokuba ubeke usapho kunye nabahlobo abanokuthi babe ne-ajenda.
Thetha negqwetha ukuze uqonde iimpembelelo zomthetho ezichaphazelekayo.
UKaren Finn
Ukucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato kwahlukile ekuthatheni isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato. Ukucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato kucebisa ukuba esi sibini asiqinisekanga ukuba umsebenzi ofunekayo wokugcina umtshato wabo ufanelekile. Tweet oku
Ukunceda ukuhlela ukungaqiniseki, isibini kufuneka siphonononge imibuzo emibini:
Ngaba bayazingca ngemizamo yabo yokwenza umtshato usebenze? Ukuba akunjalo, ukusebenza nomcebisi ngezibini linyathelo elilandelayo elilandelayo. Kulula ukuqinisekisa ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato luyimpendulo efanelekileyo kuba esi sibini sizame yonke into kunokuba sizicingele emva komtshato.
Babuya kutshintsha njani ubomi babo xa benokuqhawula umtshato?
Uqhawulo-mtshato alukho lula. Elinye lamava anzima kakhulu akhoyo. Ukufikelela kuyo kunye nokwenza ubomi obutsha kuthatha umsebenzi-uninzi lwayo.
Akukho zisombululo zilula kwizibini ezicinga ngokuqhawula umtshato. Nangona kunjalo, ngokuthatha ixesha lokujonga ukhetho lokuhlala kunye okanye ukwahlulahlula kwii-angles ezininzi kangangoko kunokwenzeka, isibini ngasinye sinokuza nesona sisombululo silungileyo emtshatweni wabo.
UNando Rodriguez
Ukucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato ayisiyonto ilula, kwaye kufanele ukuba ithathelwe ingqalelo kuzo zonke ii-angles ngexesha apho kungakhange kubangelwe bantu babini.
Kwaye kule meko "ingabangeli" imeko yengqondo, yenza incoko ngaphakathi kommandla wokufuna ukwazi kunye nesisa kwaye ubuze le mibuzo mibini ilandelayo (kwaye ube "nomdla" kwiimpendulo kuzo zonke iindleko).
Ubambe ntoni
Inqaku lalo mbuzo kukufumana ukufikelela "kwindlela obonisa ngayo" kulo mntu. Kukho "indlela yobomi" emtshatweni okhe wavela kwiqabane lakho-inokuba yehle kakhulu kwaye ingaphaya, ukuze bangakuxeleli izinto ezithile ngenxa yokoyika ukubetha esinye seziqendu zakho ezimangalisayo.
Ewe kunjalo, bayazibamba zodwa, uloyiko, okanye iingxaki zemali. Wakhe wazibuza ukuba kutheni emtshatweni wakho, iqabane lakho lihlala lisenza izinto lodwa?
Ukuthenga ezivenkileni, ukuthatha uhambo, okanye ukwenza imisebenzi ethile? Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba "ubonise" ngokungabanomdla kubo? Ubonisa ngathi "Andikhathali ngawe kunye neemfuno zakho," ke bafundile ukuba bodwa emtshatweni. Tweet oku
Ngokwenene "phulaphula" indlela ozibonakalisa ngayo kwaye ube nayo. Ayisiyiyo le nto ekugqibeleni bakuxelela yona; Yinto eyithetha ngawe ukuba kufuneka uyiqwalasele.
Yintoni ongaphelelanga kuyo?
Eli lithuba lokuyila (mhlawumbi okokugqibela) indlela eyiyo yonxibelelwano yokuqonda ukuba izenzo zakho ziwuchaphazele njani umtshato kunye nomnye umntu.
Kwakhona, ayiloxesha lokuzikhusela okanye lokuthethelela izenzo kodwa lixesha lokuba "umamele" ngokwenyani lo mntu (lowo wawukhe wamthanda mhlawumbi usenza) ekuxelela malunga nendlela abachaphazeleke ngayo zizinto onazo. ndigqibile.
Kubalulekile ukuba ube nale ncoko kwaye uzalise ngemicimbi emininzi njengoko ninakho nobabini; Ngaphandle koko, uya kubazisa kunye nolwalamano olulandelayo.
Sukukhupha le mithwalo yobudlelwane uye kulandelayo. Ngaba yile nto yenzekayo ngoku?
Kwaye ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbi uya kufumana into entsha malunga nawe kwincoko ekhokelela kwinqanaba elitsha lokuzazi.
Akukho mephu yendlela inye onokuyithatha xa usendleleni eya ekwahlukaneni, kodwa ukuba nezincoko zokwenene ngaphakathi kwenceba noxanduva kuyakukunceda "ukuba njani" xa uthatha amanyathelo alandelayo ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato yinto enivakalelwa kukuba iyimfuneko nobabini.
USARA DAVISON
Wazi njani ukuba umtshato ngowakho?
Siphila kwinkcubeko elahlwayo kwezi ntsuku apho singayithandiyo into, siyayitshintsha.
Kwiimeko ezininzi, asicingi ixesha elide kwaye kunzima ngayo okanye sizame ukuyenza iphumelele-siyitshintshela enye into, iselfowuni yamva nje, isibini sabaqeqeshi, okanye ukuthandana kwiTinder.
Imihla yomtshato yeyobomi sele ihambile, kwaye asisekho isizukulwana "de kube safa ukufa" ngamakholwa. Ngamanani oqhawulo-mtshato ase-UK angama-42% nase-US phantse ama-50%, oko kuyangqina ukuba umtshato awusekho ebomini, kwaye ukuba sondlekile, siyahamba.
Ndiyifumanisa inika umdla indlela esichitha ngayo ixesha elininzi sicinga ngamakhondo emisebenzi kunye nokucwangcisa inyathelo lethu elilandelayo kunye nendlela yokuncoma umphathi. Nangona kunjalo xa kufikwa kubudlelwane nje ukuba sitshatile, sihlala phantsi silindele ukuba kusebenze kakuhle ngaphandle komzamo!
Akumangalisi ukuba amavili awela kwenye indawo ezantsi emgceni.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuqhawula umtshato ayisosigqibo kulula ukusithatha. Kubalulekile ukuba uyiqonde into oza kujongana nayo ngaphambi kokuba wenze isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato.
Kuthatha ixesha elide ukuzibophelela emtshatweni, ke kufanele ukuba kuthathelwe ingqalelo ngononophelo ukushiya.
Ukuba uyasokola ukwenza isigqibo, ikakhulu kungenxa yokuba ungenalo ulwazi olwaneleyo olucacileyo lokwenza eso sigqibo kwaye usatsalwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ngokweemvakalelo.
Ukuziva unetyala kunye nokungaqiniseki kungasiphazamisa isigwebo sakho, ke ngokucaca ngakumbi malunga nendlela inkqubo ebonakala ngayo, uya kunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kwaye ukwazi ukwenza isigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Ndenze indlela elula ebizwa ngokuba "Akukho kuzisola," eya kukunika ukucaca ngakumbi malunga nokuba uqhawulo mtshato yeyona ndlela ilungileyo na ngaphambili.
Kwimeko efanelekileyo, kubandakanya ukuba uhlale phantsi neqabane lakho nifumane indlela yokusebenzisana ukwenza konke okusemandleni ukuhlangula umtshato kangangeenyanga ezintathu.
Nangona kunjalo, iyakusebenza ngaphandle kwentsebenziswano neqabane lakho kwaye iyakwenza ukuba ukwazi ukuthatha isigqibo esineenkcukacha esingakushiyi nokuzisola okanye ukuzibuza, "ukuba bendenze le okanye leya?"
Inyathelo 1: Yenza ixesha lokuhlala phantsi neqabane lakho, apho ungazukuphazanyiswa. Ukuba wenza oku wedwa, emva koko ufumane ixesha elithe cwaka ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka.
Inyathelo 2: Qala ngokubhala into oyithandayo malunga neqabane lakho kunye nento oyithandayo ngolwalamano lwakho.
Kubalulekile ukugxila kwicala elifanelekileyo kuqala; Nangona kunjalo, kunzima oku mhlawumbi ukuba ubukwindlela yokubona okungalunganga. Xoxa ngoku ngokuzolileyo neqabane lakho ukuba bakhona kwaye ubacele ukuba benze imithambo efanayo.
Inyathelo lesi-3: Bhala phantsi uluhlu lweendawo ezifuna ukuphuculwa kwaye onwabe ngazo.
Ukuba usebenza neqabane, yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukubeka ezi zinto ngendlela engangqubaniyo. Ndiyavuma ukuba anizukugxekana kwaye nijolise kwisiphumo kukufumana indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane bakho.
Inyathelo lesi-4: Ngoku sebenza amanyathelo ama-5 uvumile ukuba uya kuwenza aya kunceda ukuphucula imeko yobudlelwane bakho.
Ukuba niyasebenza kunye, ke vumelanani ukubambana ngobubele kwizenzo zenu ezintlanu kwaye nenze konke okusemandleni enu ukulandela kuzo iinyanga ezintathu ezipheleleyo.
Ukuba usebenza lo msebenzi uwedwa, kufuneka uthembeke malunga noxanduva lwakho ekuchitheni umtshato wakho kwaye ungene kwizicathulo zeqabane lakho ukuze ubone ukuba ungayilungisa njani imiba.
Ndibonile amaxesha amaninzi ukuba elinye iqabane liqale lo msebenzi wedwa, kwaye kungabanga thuba lide, iqabane labo liqaphele olo tshintsho lululo kangangokuba baqala nokuzama ngakumbi.
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba zininzi izinto onokuzenza ukuhlangula umtshato oqinisekileyo, nokuba mnye kuphela umntu ozimiseleyo ekwenzeni njalo. Tweet oku
Iingcebiso zam eziphezulu zibandakanya:
- Yiba nolwazelelelo kwaye wenze into yonke imihla ukwazisa iqabane lakho ukuba uyabathanda. Izenzo zobubele, nangona zincinci, zinokuthetha lukhulu kwaye zikhumbuze iqabane lakho ukuba ubakhathalele kangakanani.
- Gcina ukuthandana kuphila. Kulula ukuwela kumkhuba wemihla ngemihla, kwaye ubomi buba sendleleni.
Yenza inzame zokuthandana ngokuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni wedwa, ngaphandle kwabantwana kunye neefowuni eziphathwayo. Nokuba kusebusuku ngaphandle komhla okanye ubusuku obumnandi, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba kutheni uthandile kwasekuqaleni.
- Yiba ngumlingisi womnye nomnye umlandeli omkhulu! Yiba liqabane lakho, likhuthaze, kwaye ube nebhongo xa liphumelele. Banemqolo kwaye bahlala bebaxhasa ukuba babe ngabona babalaseleyo banokuba.
- Nxibelelana kakuhle. Kubalulekile ukuba nikwazi ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo kunye kwaye nenze ukuba ilizwi lomnye livakale. Bakhulule kwaye ubazise indlela oziva ngayo.
- Thembela kwiqabane lakho. Ukuthembana sisiseko salo naluphi na ulwalamano olonwabileyo nolusempilweni. Kuya kufuneka uzive ukhululekile ukuba ngokwakho kwaye uthandwe ngokuba ungubani.
- Sukuvumela iingxaki zikhule. Ukuba kukho nayiphi na imiba, yiphakamise kunye neqabane lakho kwaye nisebenze kunye ukuyilungisa ngaphambi kokuba kwenzeke nawuphi na umonakalo ongenakulungiswa.
- Yenza umgudu wokujonga okuhle malunga neqabane lakho. Ewe baya kukubona kuqala ekuseni nakubumnandi bakho-kodwa qiniseka ukuba uyaziqhenya ngenkangeleko yakho ngala maxesha akhethekileyo kwaye ugcine imigangatho yakho iphakamileyo.
- Yenza izinto kunye. Kulula ukwahlukana kwaye wenze into yakho kubudlelwane, ke qiniseka ukuba ufumana izinto zokwenza kunye njengesibini. Ukuba unokufumana imisebenzi eyonwabisayo eniyonwabelayo nobabini ngexesha lenu, oku kuyakongeza ukubengezela. Nokuba uyokuthenga kunye okanye imisebenzi yasekhaya kuya kunceda ukugcina unxibelelwano lwakho luphila.
- Gcina ulwalamano lusaphila. Rhoqo, oku kuyanyamalala emva kweminyaka yokuba kunye. Ke xoxa ukuba ungaligcina njani eli cala lobudlelwane bakho lizaliseka kuni nobabini. Khumbula ukuba yayihlala njani kwaye uzenzele ixesha lokuphinda wenze loo maxesha.
- Yiba nokudlala. Ubomi ngamanye amaxesha bunokuziva bunzulu kakhulu. Gcina ukudlala kudlala nge-banter enobuhlobo, ukumangaliswa kunye nokuhleka okuninzi.
Ukuba unabantwana, kuya kubakho okungakumbi ekunokuqwalaselwa njengoko kuya kufuneka ucinge ngefuthe kubo. Ndikholelwa kakhulu ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato akufuneki lonakalise abantwana, kodwa luya kuxhomekeka kubazali nakwindlela abaziphatha ngayo.
Amaxesha amaninzi bayomelela ngakumbi kunokuba ucinga, kodwa kuya kuxhomekeka kubudala babo nakubuntu babo; Akukho mntwana uya kuphendula ngendlela efanayo, ke kubalulekile ukuba wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukulungiselela indlela yokubanceda bakwazi ukumelana nokwahlukana nabo.
Musa ukukhohliswa yi-Hollywood gloss ye "uncouplingling conscious" okanye uqhubele phambili kwiqabane lakho elilandelayo ngaphakathi kwentliziyo yokuba ungatshatanga.
Ayenzeki ngoluhlobo ngokwenyani. Inyani yile yokuba uqhawulo-mtshato sesesibini isiganeko sobomi esibuhlungu emva kokusweleka komntu omthandayo.
I-rollercoaster yeemvakalelo kwaye inefuthe elikhulu kubomi babantu, ichaphazela impilo yengqondo kunye neyasemzimbeni, indlela yokuphila, imihla ngemihla, abantwana, ubomi bomsebenzi, izihlobo kunye nosapho.
Ingcebiso yam ihlala isebenza kubudlelwane kwaye ungayeki. Nangona kunjalo, kukho amaxesha apho kufuneka ube nesibindi kwaye ujongane nenyani yokuba ayisebenzi.
Ukuba ukunye nomlingane wakho ongakuthandiyo, kuya kuyonakalisa ukuzithemba kwakho nokuzithemba kwakho. Ukuba abafuni kuphinda babe nawe, ke ukubanyanzela ukuba bahlale akunakuze kukonwabise.
Uqhawulo-mtshato alusoze lube yinto elula, nokuba imithetho ihlaziywa njani kwaye itshintshwa njani. Kufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo ngononophelo, kwaye ngokoluvo lwam, kubalulekile ukuba ungashiyi uzisole. Yenza konke okusemandleni ukugcina umtshato.
Ukuba uyayenza le nto, ukuba iyaphela, ungahamba uhambe uphakamise intloko kwaye usazi ukuba wenze konke onako ukuyigcina. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ungakhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato, iingcebiso zam eziphambili malunga nendlela onokuthi uqale ngayo ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo yile:
- Fumana iqela lakho lenkxaso endaweni. Kulula ukoyiswa yinkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato ngokwembono yezemali, yezomthetho, kunye neemvakalelo, ngelixa uzama ukugcina inkqubo yakho yemihla ngemihla nayo.
Ke fumana iingcali ezikungqongileyo ezinokukunceda uphendule yonke imibuzo onayo kwaye zikunike elona cebiso lililo. Oku kunceda ukukhusela eyona nto uyithandayo kunye nokucofa uxinzelelo lwakho, usazi ukuba ungayiphendula imibuzo yakho.
- Fumana ukucaca kwinto oyichitha inyanga nenyanga ukuze uqonde iipatheni zakho zenkcitho.
Yenza uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali lwenkcitho yakho yeveki kunye nenyanga. Kuya kufuneka uthathe ubunini koku, ukuze uzive uzimele geqe kwezemali kwaye ulawula.
Vumelana neqabane lakho ukuba uza kuthini ebantwaneni malunga nokwahlukana.
Kuhlala kulungile ukuhlala phantsi kunye ukuba kunokwenzeka kwaye ubaxelele kunye.Ukuqinisekisa ukuba bayathandwa kwaye ayilotyala labo sisitshixo.
Baphathane ngentlonipho nobubele. Ngokuqinisekileyo anizukuvumelana ngamanye amaxesha, kwaye ukuba niyavuma ukuphathana kakuhle, ninokugcina ninoxolo kangangoko.
Ungalibali ukugcina ulonwabo ebomini bakho. Inokuba sisondo esineemvakalelo, ke qiniseka ukuba ufumana iindlela zokuhleka nokunxibelelana nabo ubathandayo.
Sukuthetha ngokwahlukana kwakho kuye wonke umntu odibana naye.
Yabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho nabahlobo abasondeleyo okanye usapho, kodwa ungangenisi kwihlabathi apho ekuphela kwento othetha ngayo kukwahlukana kwakho.
Ukutya kakuhle nokuzilolonga kubalulekile ekugcineni ingqondo yomelele kwaye ikwenza ukuba ukwazi ukuthatha izigqibo ezingcono.
Bhala uluhlu lwazo zonke izinto obungonwabanga ngazo kubudlelwane bakho ngelixa ususa iiglasi ezinombala we rose. Ukuba ukhathazekile kwaye ukufumanisa kunzima ukuyeka i-ex yakho, lo ngumsebenzi omkhulu.
Xa sikhumbula malunga namaqabane ethu, kulula ukuba sigxile kuwo onke amaqhina alungileyo kwaye sithandane ngezinto. Kodwa oku kuyakukugcina unamathele kwixesha elidlulileyo, kwaye akusoloko kuyinyani njengoko olu luhlu luza kubonisa.
Cela uncedo. Ukuba unengxaki yokujongana neemvakalelo ezingalunganga, qiniseka ukuba ucela uncedo. Abanye abantu bakufumana kunzima ukufikelela, kodwa zikhona iincwadi ezingaphandle ezinokukunceda ukuba uqhubele phambili emva kokuqhekeka, kunye neengcali ezijolise kule ndawo.
Yenza izicwangciso zokuphakamisa kwaye uzibeke kwisenzo. Ukuba ufuna inkxaso ngoqhawulo-mtshato lwakho, ke incwadi yam entsha, "Ukwahlula-kwiintsuku ezingama-30 ukusuka kuQhawulo-mtshato ukuya kwiNtuthuko," ikhutshiwe ngoku eAmazon.
Iya kukunika inyathelo lakho ngenyathelo lesiCwangciso seentsuku ezingama-30 ukuze umelane nokwahlukana kwakho kwaye uqinisekise ukuba ugcina umfutho wakho uqhubela phambili.
Uqhawulo-mtshato akufuneki ukuba lube luqhekeko olunoburhalarhume ukuba uthatha inyathelo lokucinga ngendlela oxhasa ngayo wonke umntu ngaphambi kokuba wenze isigqibo.
Ukuba nobubele nokwenza into elungileyo kuya kukunceda ekuhambeni kwexesha. Ukuba unabantwana kwaye uziva unetyala, ke ujonge ukuba ubfundisa ntoni ngokuhlala emtshatweni ongonwabanga.
Khumbula, ungumzekelo wabo, kwaye baya kukhokela kuwe.
Kukho ukukhanya ekugqibeleni kwetonela, nangona kunjalo, kwaye kuyinyani ukuba siphila kube kanye, ke akukho sizathu sokuhlala kumtshato ongonwabanga.
Ndiyakholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato lunokuba yeyona nto intle eyakha yenzeka kuwe njengoko inika ithuba lokuhlengahlengisa ubomi bakho ngendlela othanda ukuba yiyo.
Kuyinyani ukuba ngamanye amaxesha, izinto ezintle ziyawa ukuze izinto ezingcono zidibane.
Okukwintsusa
Nokuba ukhetha ukunika umtshato wakho enye into okanye uqhubele phambili ngokwahlukana okanye uqhawulo-mtshato, ufuna inkxaso kubahlobo bakho nakusapho, kunye nomcebisi okhethekileyo kwicandelo leengcebiso ngoqhawulo-mtshato, kubaluleke kakhulu kwimpilo yakho.
Kubalulekile ukuba ungalahli umbono weyona njongo iphambili. Bobabini kunye neqabane lakho elahlukaneyo nijonge ulonwabo kunye nesisombululo.
Nje ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato lwakho okanye ubukrakra emtshatweni bube semva kwakho, uya kuthi ngokuthe ngcembe ube nakho ukukhetha ezo zinto kwaye wakhe ubomi obonwabisayo kwakhona. Kunye okanye ngokukodwa.
Sukuyekelela ekuthatheni izigqibo ngokungxama, cinga, kwaye ulandele isiluleko esifanelekileyo kunye namanyathelo okwenza inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato ilawuleke ngakumbi okanye ivuselele umtshato, kwimeko apho unokuthatha isigqibo sokuxolelana.
Yenza isigwebo esifanelekileyo.