Umxholo
- Uqhawulo mtshato lubachaphazela njani abantwana
- Uqhawulo mtshato lunceda abantu bafumane amandla abo angaphakathi
- Ukuba umntu ukholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba uya komelela, baya kuba njalo
Ukuqhawulwa komtshato ligama lobuchwephesha loqhawulo-mtshato kwaye kubandakanya ukupheliswa ngokusemthethweni kwezibophelelo zomtshato kunye nezibophelelo zabo ezisemthethweni ezihamba nazo.
Inqaku elinye elibalulekileyo kukwazi ukuba ukupheliswa komtshato, kuhlala kusetyenziswa ngokutshintshayo noqhawulo-mtshato, kuyahluka ngokwaseburhulumenteni kwaye nemithetho iyahluka ngokwamazwe. Kuyacetyiswa ke ukuba wenze uphando ngokwakho okanye ubonane nengcali xa kuziwa kwimithetho esemthethweni.
Eli nqaku liza kugxila kwizinto zengqondo zoqhawulo mtshato.
Inye into endiyifundileyo emgceni wam wokusebenzela abantu abatshatileyo kunye neentsapho kukuba imeko yomntu ngamnye yahluke mpela: oko kukhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato, amava oqhawulo mtshato, kunye nolunye ulungiselelo lokujikeleza inkqubo.
Ngapha koko, lungu ngalinye losapho lisabela ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Umkhwa kukuziva ugweba malunga noku, nokuba ubhekisa kuwe okanye kwabanye. Ngokubanzi le ayisiyiyo eyona ndlela iluncedo yokuthatha. Ayisombululi nantoni na kwaye yongeza nje "isibaso emlilweni" siza kuthi. Kunzima ngokwaneleyo ukuqhawula umtshato, akukho sizathu sokongeza naluphi na uxinzelelo.
Umzekelo, abanye abantu abatshatileyo baneempawu zokoyika, ukudakumba, okanye ixhala okwesihlandlo sokuqala ebomini bakhe ngexesha okanye emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Abanye banengxaki yokulala. Kwaye abanye basenamava eli xesha ngobabalo olulinganayo kunye nokulula.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu unokufumana uninzi okanye konke oku ngasentla. Kuqhelekile ukuziva ngathi umntu ukhwele ngerollercoaster ngeli xesha.
Uqhawulo mtshato lubachaphazela njani abantwana
Ndikhe ndabona abantwana besabela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngokuchasene nenkolelo exhaphakileyo, uqhawulo-mtshato aluba “sonakalisi” ngokusisigxina bonke abantwana. Abantwana banokomelela kwaye baqonde.
Umzekelo, omnye umama wothuka xa unyana wakhe wambuza, "Kutheni wena notata nithiyene nje?" Umama wayecinga ukuba ubeka umboniso olungileyo phambi kwabantwana kwaye wayebanceda ngokuhlala kunye notata wabo. Ngaba uphakamisa umbuzo ... mhlawumbi ukuhlala kunye ngenxa yabantwana akusoloko kuyinto ebhetele kunokuqhekeka?
Elinye ixesha, ndandinomthengi owayexhalabile kakhulu ngabantwana bakhe. Uthe uhleli nje uxolisa kubo. Emva koko, ngenye imini unyana wakhe weza ekhaya neprojekthi awayeyenzele isikolo efundeka ngoluhlobo, “Umama uhlala ekhathazekile ngathi. Ndifuna nje ukumxelela ukuba 'Mama, siyaphila.'
Uqhawulo mtshato lunceda abantu bafumane amandla abo angaphakathi
Ke ngoko, ulungelelwaniso olunokubakho lwesilivere ngaphakathi komsipha woqhawulo-mtshato inokuba inyanzela umntu ukuba afumane amandla abo angaphakathi kunye nokomelela.
Ukomelela kwengqondo ichazwa ngamava okuba bhetyebhetye ekuphenduleni kwiimfuno zemo eguqukayo kunye nokukwazi ukubuyela umva kumava emvakalelo.
Kwaye ucinga ukuba yintoni edlala indima enkulu nokuba umntu othile ubuyela ngokukhawuleza emva kokuphazamiseka, uxinzelelo kunye nobunzima?
Ukuba umntu uyacinga ziya kuhluma ngokukhawuleza.
"Abo bazilinganise njengabanakho ukuphinda basebenze ngokufanelekileyo xa behlangabezana noxinzelelo babonakalise olu phawu lomzimba."- Uhlalutyo lophando olwenziwe ngo-2004 ngu-Tugade, Fredrickson, & Barrett
Ukuba umntu ukholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba uya komelela, baya kuba njalo
Abantu ababecinga ukuba bazokubuya ngokukhawuleza kwiziganeko zoxinzelelo bakufumene oku kwinqanaba lomzimba kunye nemizimba yabo ebuza impendulo yoxinzelelo kwaye babuyela kwisiseko ngokukhawuleza ngakumbi kunabo bangaziboni beqinile.
Ngaphandle kokujongela phantsi amandla abo okuzimela, abantu banokungena engxakini xa bexhalabile kakhulu okanye bezama ukuqikelela ikamva. Ndihlala ndithetha nabantu abaqinisekileyo ukuba bayayazi indlela abaza kuziva ngayo ngexa nasemva koqhawulo-mtshato ...
Ewe, kuvela ukuba abantu bangamahlwempu axela kwangaphambili ukuba baya kusabela njani ngexesha nasemva kwamava amabi. Yinkqubo engalunganga yokuqikelela ekhokelela ekubeni benze izigqibo ezandisa amava oxinzelelo lweemvakalelo.
Njengokuba ugqirha wengqondo waseHarvard uDaniel Gilbert esitsho, "Sijonga ukuba iimvakalelo zethu ziza kutshintsha ngokukhawuleza ngenxa yokuba sizijongela phantsi amandla ethu okuzitshintsha. Oku kungasikhokelela ekubeni sithathe izigqibo ezingandisi ukwaneliseka. ”
Ngokubanzi, uqhawulo-mtshato lutshintsho olukhulu kubomi kunye nexesha lotshintsho oluphawulwa ngamahla ndinyuka amaninzi. Nangona kunjalo, ndiyabona abantu abaninzi beza kwelinye icala kunye nokuqonda okunzulu kwabo okuqhubeka nokubakhonza ebomini babo.