Umxholo
- Isini esincinci
- Kutheni isex eshibhile sixhaphake kangaka?
- Yintoni enomtsalane isini esinexabiso eliphantsi esinayo?
Xa unjingalwazi ongumhlobo uMark Regnerus wabhala incwadi yakhe ethi 'Isini esinexabiso eliphantsi notshintsho lwamadoda, umtshato, nokutshata nomntu omnye' wayengazi ukuba liza kubachaphazela kangakanani abantu.
Kule ncwadi, uMarko wabhala ukuba isizathu sokwehla komtshato phakathi kweminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo ukuya kumashumi amabini anesithathu kungenxa yexabiso eliphantsi lokwabelana ngesondo. Xa uRegnerus exoxa ngeenkolelo zakhe kwinqaku elipapashwe kwiWall Street Journal, wafumana uhlolo olwahlukeneyo.
Enye yeengxoxo zakhe eziphambili ezazikhokela yayikukuba izinto zokucwangcisa ezikhoyo ngokulula kunye nemifanekiso engamanyala ekwi-Intanethi sesona sizathu siphambili sokunciphisa kunye nokunciphisa ixabiso lesini; ngaloo ndlela kuzalwa igama elitsha "isini esinexabiso eliphantsi."
Ngabantu abaninzi abathandwayo sesi sihloko, uninzi lwazo lwalunemicimbi yokuqonda ukuba yeyiphi eyona nto iphantsi yokwabelana ngesondo. Ukuze ufumane okungakumbi, qhubeka ufunda!
Isini esincinci
Igama "isini esinexabiso eliphantsi" ligama lezoqoqosho elichaza ukusondelelana okunexabiso eliphantsi.
Ukuba umntu akunyanzelekanga ukuba atyale ixesha lakhe kunye nemali nomntu ukuze afumane izibonelelo zesondo, oko kuyaziwa njengokwabelana ngesondo ngexabiso eliphantsi. Ngenxa yoku, isizukulwana esitsha sanamhlanje siwuphaphele umtshato.
Kumadoda namhlanje, isini siye sangabizi ngenxa yenkcubeko yokuhlangana eboniswa kwaye ijolise kuzo zonke ezisingqongileyo. Singayifumana le nkcubeko kwimidlalo bhanyabhanya, kwimiboniso, iindaba phantse kuyo yonke indawo esijonga kuyo. Nokuba imifanekiso bhanyabhanya evela kwiminyaka ye-90 njengabafazi abahle yenza imeko efanelekileyo besebenzisa le nkcubeko yobuhenyu.
Xa kuthelekiswa nexesha elidlulileyo, nabafazi banamhlanje balindele okuncinci ekubuyiseni ukusondelelana ngokomzimba; abasafuni ixesha lakho, ingqalelo, ukuthembeka okanye ukuzibophelela.
Kwangokunjalo, amadoda awaziva enyanzelekile ukuba abonelele ngezi zinto kubafazi babo njengoko babekade besenza.
Ixesha elitsha lokuthintela inzala kunye ne-intanethi ye-intanethi kunciphise ukuxhomekeka okufuneka kakhulu kubo bobabini abesini. Njengoko umngcipheko wokukhulelwa uye wehla, abantu abaninzi abasafuni ukuzisindisa ngomtshato.
Oku kuzele inkcubeko engeyoyenkolo namhlanje. Ke yintoni unobangela wale nkcubeko yoyikekayo isingqongileyo?
Kutheni isex eshibhile sixhaphake kangaka?
Esona sizathu siphambili sale nkcubeko yokuhlangana kukuhla kwemfundo kulutsha lwethu; Ayisiyiyo kuphela imfundo yamabanga aphantsi esiyinikwa ezikolweni nakwiikholeji kodwa nakwimfundo yezenkolo.
Esinye isizathu sale nkcubeko linqanaba lengqesho namhlanje. Kwixesha elidlulileyo, abafazi abaninzi babelinda de batshate ukwenza isenzo kwaye bafuna indoda enemfundo elungileyo kunye nomsebenzi olungileyo.
Ngenxa yoko, amadoda asebenze nzima kakhulu kwixa elidlulileyo kwaye alandela imigaqo yoluntu ukuba ibe yinto efanelekileyo yomtshato.
Ngokwazisa iphonografi kunye noonongogo, isondo sifumaneka ngokulula ukuze amadoda angazami ukuba zizinto ezilungileyo zomtshato kwaye abasetyhini abasazisindisi.
Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lwezazinzulu ngezentlalo kunye nezoqoqosho zibanga ukuba isizathu sezinga eliphantsi lomtshato phakathi kwamadoda kungenxa yomvuzo wabo.
Ukuba umvuzo wabo ubuphezulu, ngoko ke abafana abancinci banokuzithemba ngokwaneleyo ukuba bangatshata. Kwakukho enye intelekelelo eyayisithi ukwehla komtshato kungenxa yokoyika ukuzibophelela okwakhiwe kwinani labesilisa.
Kodwa nasemva kokuba nemali nokuba kubudlelwane obonwabisayo, amadoda asafuna isini esinexabiso eliphantsi; kutheni kunjalo?
Yintoni enomtsalane isini esinexabiso eliphantsi esinayo?
Isizathu sokuba amadoda eyonwabele inkcubeko yokutsala kukuba ziqhutywa yimfuno enyanzelekileyo yokuba ngumzimba.
Kuba oku kunyanzelwa akunakuze kwanele, bafumana induduzo koonongogo. Ngaphandle kokufezekisa iimfuno zabo, bahlala bekhathazekile, kwaye oku kuzala ukungathembeki okukhokelela ekuwohlokeni emtshatweni.
Kuba amadoda anamhlanje afumanisa ukuba ubudlelwane buyingozi kakhulu, bathambekele ekugxileni kwisithembu.
Bakufumanisa kunzima ukunamathela kumfazi omnye kuba banokufumana ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nabafazi abaninzi; ngenxa yokwabelana ngesondo ngokufumanekayo ezindleleni amadoda akhetha isini esinexabiso eliphantsi emva koko ukuthembeka.
Isini esinexabiso eliphantsi nesifumaneka lula sesona sizathu sokuba amadoda angahlali ethembekile kubafazi bawo, kwaye oku kukhokelela ekwehleni emtshatweni.
Kuba imfuno yamadoda yokusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni isanda ngokobunongogo kunye nenkcubeko yokutshixwa okungafunekiyo iya kuqhubeka nokukhula.
Ukunciphisa ixabiso lesini esinexabiso eliphantsi, kubalulekile ukuba amadoda anamhlanje afundiswe. Kufuneka babe nolawulo lweemfuno zabo kwaye baqonde ukubaluleka kokunyaniseka emtshatweni.
Nje ukuba amadoda afumane imfundo, ibango lokuthengisa ngesondo liya kuncipha, kwaye esi iya kuba sisisombululo esifanelekileyo kule ngxaki. Esi sihloko asiqondwa ngokubanzi kwaye kufuneka sinikwe ingqalelo esifanelekileyo. Imfundo yenkolo kufuneka inikwe amadoda nabafazi bobabini ukuze le nkcubeko iphele.