Umxholo
- 1. Ukuba buhlungu
- 2. Ukuqonda umcimbi
- 3. Yakha ukuthembana nonxibelelwano kwakhona
- 4. Ukufunda umba wokuthandana
- 5. Ixesha lilodwa linika umbono
- 6. Ukwenza ukwahlukana kwakho kube yimpumelelo
Abantu abatshatileyo abonwabileyo abalindelanga ukuba bajongane nokungathembeki emtshatweni wabo xa besabelana "Ndenza", kodwa yinyani abantu abaninzi abaza kujongana nayo ngexesha lobudlelwane babo. Ukukopa yinto eyenzakalisayo eyaphula iintliziyo zombini kunye nokuthembela kwinto enye. Akukho mpendulo ilula nengqalileyo malunga nendlela yokujongana nokungathembeki.
Uwugcina njani umtshato emva kokungathembeki?
Uchithe ixesha elininzi emtshatweni wakho ucinga ngo "We" ude ulibale nokucinga ngo "Mna". Ukuchitha ixesha uwedwa kuya kukunceda ufumane umbono owufunayo kakhulu kwimeko yakho kwaye kukuncede ukuba uqhelane nawe kwakhona. Ukwahlukana komtshato kuvumela omabini amaqela ukuba abone ukuba bafuna ntoni ebomini babo kunye nolwalamano ngaphandle kongenelelo kumaqabane abo.
Ngaba ukwahlukana kunokuwunceda umtshato?
Yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba izibini zohlukane emva kokungathembeki, kodwa ngaba inganceda? Ukuba wohlukene neqabane lakho ungacinga ukuba oku kuthetha isiphelo somtshato wakho, kodwa akusoloko kunjalo.
Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukwahlukana okwethutyana emva kokuthandana kunokunceda izibini ekuvuseleleni nasekusebenzeni ngokungathembeki. Ukwahlukana okufutshane, okungacwangciswanga kunokuba yinto yokubonga emtshatweni wakho emva kokungathembeki, kwaye nasi isizathu. Ukulungisa umtshato emva komtshato akunakwenzeka.
1. Ukuba buhlungu
Ngeendlela ezininzi, ukungathembeki kuyafana nokufa. Kukulahleka komthombo wothando, ukonwaba, kunye nozinzo ebomini bakho kwaye kufanele ukuba ube buhlungu.Nokuba nobabini niyachacha kukungathembeki kwixa elizayo, nisazilahlile ukuphulukana nolwalamano lwenu lwangaphambili. Esi sigaba sibuhlungu asinaso isicwangciso samaxesha kwaye sahlukile kuye wonke umntu. Eli linyathelo eliyimfuneko ekubuyiseni ukungathembeki, njengoko ikuvumela ukuba usebenze ngentlungu yakho kunye nomsindo kwaye ikuvumela ukuba uthathe amanyathelo okwenyani ukulungisa umtshato wakho.
Ukuhlala kunye emva komcimbi emva kokuba yenzekile kunokuyinyusa ngakumbi intlungu.
2. Ukuqonda umcimbi
Kukho indawo enkulu engwevu xa kufikwa ekungathembekini okunokucaphukisa ukuyihambisa. Ngelixa inkolelo eqhelekileyo yokuba abantu bayakopela kuba kukho ukungabikho kwesondo emtshatweni wabo okanye ngenxa yokuba ithuba belikhona, oku akusoloko kunjalo.
Ngapha koko, kuhlala kukho umba omkhulu xa kufikwa kumba wokungathembeki.
Ukoyisa njani ukungathembeki emtshatweni? Uwulungisa njani umtshato emva kokukopela?
Ukwahlulahlulwa kunyango emva kokungathembeki kunokunika amaqabane omabini ithuba lokuphonononga nokuqonda ngcono ukuba zeziphi izenzo kunye nokuziphatha okukhokelele kulwalamano.
Imifanekiso engamanyala, ukungoneliseki ngokweemvakalelo, ukungabikho kokuqinisekiswa, ukungabikho kothando, ukungcatshwa kwangaphambili, ukuxhatshazwa, kunye nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi konke oku kunegalelo kwimicimbi engaphandle komtshato.
Xa uphulukana nokungathembeki, ukunqanda into ebangelwe luthando kuya kunceda omabini amaqabane athathe isigqibo sokulwa ezi ngxaki kwixa elizayo kunye nokomeleza umtshato wabo ngokuchasene neempembelelo ezimbi. Ukufumana kwakhona kumcimbi wobudlelwane kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba yintoni unobangela.
3. Yakha ukuthembana nonxibelelwano kwakhona
Ukuba ucebisa ngezibini okanye iiseshoni malunga nendlela yokufumana kwakhona kukungathembeki, ngeli xesha lokuhlukana kuya kukuvumela ukuba wenze izibini zakho zahlule umsebenzi wasekhaya. Oku kuthetha ukulungisa into ekhokelele kumcimbi kunye nokwenza inkqubela phambili elungileyo kwindlela ophathana ngayo.
Uwakha njani umtshato wakho ngexesha lokwahlukana?
Ababini abanxibelelana banamazinga aphezulu empumelelo kwimitshato yabo. Ingangathi iyaphikisana, kodwa izibini ezithatha ixesha kude enye kwenye zenza ithuba lokwahlula imeko kwaye zisebenze ekwakheni ukuthembana kunye nonxibelelwano.
Umsindo yindlela oqhuba ngayo xa unxibelelana neqabane elingathembekanga, kodwa ixesha elingaphantsi linokuthomalalisa iintlungu kunye nokwenzakala okudala incoko esebenzayo. Ngokuziphatha okuzolileyo kunye nentloko ecacileyo, izibini ziya kuba nakho ukuphinda zinxibelelane kwaye zinxibelelane malunga nolwalamano lwabo.
Ukwakha kwakhona unxibelelwano olomeleleyo linyathelo elibalulekileyo ekuvuseleleni umcimbi.
Ukufumana kwakhona kunxibelelwano lokungathembeki ngoyena ndoqo womtshato owonwabileyo, nokuba usemtshatweni. Ukuba uyekile ukunxibelelana ngezinto ezinkulu nezincinci, uya kuba nakho ukusebenzisa ukwahlukana kwakho ukubuyela kulo mkhwa.
Inokukunceda ukuba usebenze ngemicimbi yakho, uphinde useke imbeko kunye nentsebenziswano, kwaye ufunde ngakumbi malunga nomnye.
4. Ukufunda umba wokuthandana
Ukuthandana nabanye abantu ngexesha lokwahlula likrele elintlangothi-mbini. Kwelinye icala, ukubuyela kwilizwe lokuthandana kuhlala kungathandeki ukuba ubutshatile ixesha elide kwaye kunokukukhumbuza zonke izinto ozikhumbulayo malunga neqabane lakho langaphambili.
Kwelinye icala, ungaphelela ekuthandeni umntu omtsha, obeka iibhuleki ekusebenzeni komtshato wakho. Ukuba wenza ukungathembeki ngexesha lokwahlukana, akukho sithuba sokuhlangula ubudlelwane bakho.
Akufanele uzikhathaze ngemibuzo enje ngokuba izinto zihlala ixesha elingakanani emva kokwahlukana, kuya kufuneka ujonge kulwalamano lwakho olonakeleyo.
Ukufumana kwakhona ukungathembeki kufuneka ukhethe ukungathandani nabanye abantu ngexesha lokwahlukana kwakho, uya kuba nethuba lokubuyela ekuthandaneni.
Oku kunokuba yinto enkulu ekusindeni emtshatweni emva kokungathembeki. Ukuba ubuyela emva ukuthandana neqabane lakho, uya kuthuthwa ubuyele kwixesha apho bekukho uxinzelelo lwezesondo, inkanuko, ikhemistri, kwaye iqabane lakho belizama ukukuchukumisa kwaye likwenza uzive ukhethekile.
Oku kunokubangela iimvakalelo ezintle kwaye kuseke unxibelelwano phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho kwaye kuncede ekuphulukaneni nokungathembeki.
5. Ixesha lilodwa linika umbono
Ukuba wedwa ngexesha lokuvuselelwa komcimbi sisigqibo esinzima. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, nichithe iminyaka emininzi kunye nomntu omnye naza naphila ubomi obutofotofo kunye. Ngequbuliso umtshato wakho uye wahlaselwa sisiqhushumbisi kwaye uya kuziva ungatshatanga, nokuba kungokwexeshana.
Eli inokuba lixesha eloyikisayo. Unokuziva ubunzima bokuthwala le mithwalo wedwa, uswele inkxaso yemvakalelo obukade unayo kwiqabane lakho.
Uwakha njani umtshato emva kokuthandana? Thatha ixesha lakho lokufumana imbono efuneka kakhulu yokufumana kwakhona kukungathembeki.
Igama elithi "Ukungabikho kwenza intliziyo ikhule kamnandi" liyasebenza kule meko. Xa kuziwa ekuvuseleleni umcimbi, ukuchitha ixesha wedwa kunceda ukhumbule ukuba ungubani ngaphandle kweqabane lakho kwaye kukunike ixesha lokucinga malunga nokuba ufuna ntoni ngekamva lakho.
Ngelixa uxolelo lusenokuba lusekude, izibini ezininzi zenza ukuba iingqondo zazo zicace xa zahlukana kwaye ziyakwazi ukugqiba kwelokuba intlungu yokusebenza ngokujongana nomcimbi ekuwo ingcono kunokuba wedwa. Le mvakalelo inokuba luncedo ekuvuseleleni kukungathembeki.
6. Ukwenza ukwahlukana kwakho kube yimpumelelo
Kukho okungakumbi ekwenzeni ukwahlula kube yimpumelelo kunokuba ushiye indlu ungaze uphinde ubuye. Ukwahlula kukuvumela ithuba lokwazi ukuba wena neqabane lakho nifuna ntoni ngekamva.
Ngelishwa, iinjongo zakho zisenokungasoloko zifana. Ukuba injongo yakho kukudibana kwaye wenze umtshato wakho womelele kunakuqala, kuya kufuneka wenze imigaqo esisiseko.
Umzekelo, thatha isigqibo sokuba ngubani oshiya indlu, uza kuba ngumzali onjani xa unabantwana kunye, nokuba uza kuthandana nabanye abantu ngeli xesha, ufuna ixesha elingakanani ukwahlukana kwetyala lakho ukuba lihlale, kwaye yeyiphi ingcebiso ekufuneka ilandelwe njenge isibini okwangoku.
Qiniseka ukuba ukwahlukana kwakho kwetyala kunemithetho kunye nemida. Awunakho ukuqhubeka nokudibana, ulwe, kwaye wenze izinto ngendlela owenze ngayo xa izinto zilungile.
Ayizukuphela yenza ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumbono, kodwa isenokukhulisa inxeba elibangelwe kukungathembeki kubudlelwane bakho. Imithetho ibaluleke kakhulu ekufumaneni ukungathembeki.
Thetha nonyango ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokwahlukana, kwaye usebenzise ixesha kunye nengcali yokuphuhlisa imigaqo. Kunzima kakhulu ukwenza wedwa.
Unokufumana uncedo lokungathembeki kumcebisi okanye kunyangi. Ayilulo lonke ulwalamano olusindayo kukungathembeki; Kungenzeka ukuba ulwalamano lwakho alunakusindiswa.
Ngaba umtshato ungasinda kukungathembeki ngaphandle kwengcebiso?
Uninzi lwezibini eziye zenziwa ngesiqendu sokukopela zifuna iingcebiso zokonga umtshato emva kokungathembeki. Ukunganyaniseki kunokuwutshabalalisa umtshato ngendlela engenakwenzeka kwizibini ezininzi ukusombulula imicimbi yazo zodwa.
Nini ukuwuyeka umtshato emva kokungathembeki?
Xa uhlala uhlukanisiwe ukuze uphinde uchaphazele ukungathembeki kwaye ubuhlungu kunye nenzondo ziye zaphela kodwa ucinga ukuba ubudlelwane obubenabo neqabane lakho alunakulungiswa. Xa ucinga ukuba ukwakha umtshato emva kokwahlukana akunakwenzeka, lixesha lokuba ukubize.