Umxholo
- 1. Ungenelelo lomntu wesithathu
- 2. Ziqhelise isiqhamo somoya
- 3. Cinga ngelifa lakho
- Ngamanye amaxesha ukwahlukana kuyindlela efanelekileyo
Ngexesha lokuqala kweeseshoni zokucebisa ngomtshato, umbuzo endibuzwa wona rhoqo uthi "ucinga ukuba kufuneka sohlukane"? Rhoqo kubuzwa kwizibini ezide zadinwa kwinto ebonakala ngathi ayinakuphela yingxabano. Banqwenela ikhefu kwaye bayazibuza ukuba ukwahlukana kunganceda na ukuzola kwezinto.
Ukuchonga ukuba isibini kufuneka sahlukane ayisosigqibo esilula. Kukho amacala amabini kwingqekembe xa kufikwa ekuhlaleni bodwa emva kokuphila ngeemeko zokulwa. Eyokuqala kukuba ukwahlukana kunokunika umntu ngamnye ixesha lokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokuhamba kude nokucinga okuxhokonxileyo ngokweemvakalelo ukuya kwisigqibo esifanelekileyo. Ixesha lodwa linokunceda ukunceda iqabane ngalinye libonakalise ukusilela kwabo kubudlelwane kunye nento abanokuyenza ukuphucula umtshato.
Kwicala elisecaleni kwengqekembe, ukwahlukana kunokusebenza nje ukudala umgama phakathi kwesi sibini njengenye okanye bobabini befumana isiqabu esikhokelela ekubeni bakholelwe kuqhawulo mtshato sisisombululo esikhoyo ukunceda ukuyeka ubuhlanya. Kule meko, ukwahlukana kunokusebenza njengendlela elula yokuphuma kubudlelwane kwaye kunokugcina izibini zenze umsebenzi onzima ofunekayo wokulungisa ukungavisisani kwabo.
Icebo lokuLwahlula
Endaweni yokukhetha ukwahlukana, nanga amanyathelo amathathu onokuwathatha kubantu abatshatileyo abanamanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo kunye nengxabano emtshatweni wabo.
1. Ungenelelo lomntu wesithathu
Inyathelo lakho lokuqala kukufumana ugqirha onamava oqeqeshiweyo ekusebenzeni nezibini ezisokolayo. Ngomcebisi olungileyo uya kuba nakho ukufunda indlela yokusombulula imiba ephambili; inkqubo yentlungu ngokweemvakalelo; kwaye uqale uhambo lokudibanisa kwakhona. Xa sisemseleni kwaye siyikhupha ngaphandle kwenza ukuba kube nzima kakhulu ukuqaphela izisombululo kwimicimbi yethu yobudlelwane. Kulapho injongo, umcebisi ongagwebi anokukunceda ukuba uhlele inkunkuma kwaye uqale ukudala indawo ekhuselekileyo.
2. Ziqhelise isiqhamo somoya
Xa izibini zenza isigqibo bazakusebenza kubudlelwane babo bendihlala ndigxininisa kubo isidingo "sokuthantamisana", ngakumbi kumanqanaba okuqala xa ubudlelwane bungazinzanga. Ukubonisa ububele kunye nomonde ngexesha lokuvuselelwa komtshato kubaluleke kakhulu ukuze uncede ukudala imeko evumela ukuba ubukrakra buphele kwaye uthando luvele kwakhona. Sifumana umzekelo ogqibeleleyo wokuziphatha kwabantu abatshatileyo ekufuneka bekhuthazana omnye nomnye kumaGalati 5: 22-23.
Ke uMoya oyiNgcwele uvelisa ezi ziqhamo ebomini bethu: uthando, uvuyo, uxolo, ukuzeka kade umsindo, ububele, ukulunga, intembeko, ubulali, nokuzeyisa. Akukho mthetho uchasene nezi zinto. ”
Ukutshintsha ikhosi yomtshato ombi kufuna ukutshintsha kwesimo sengqondo. Kuthetha ukujonga ngaphaya kokubi obekulixesha elide kakhulu lilitye lembombo lomtshato kwaye endaweni yoko ufune ukufumana nokuqonda iintsikelelo ezininzi ezikhoyo kulwalamano nakubomi bakho.
3. Cinga ngelifa lakho
Xa utshatile ngekhe ucinge ngoqhawulo-mtshato njengesicwangciso esenzekileyo. Hayi, kungenzeka ukuba uthathe kakhulu isifungo “ngoku nangonaphakade” kwaye wacinga ukuba uqale uhambo oluza kuhlala ixesha elide ebomini bakho. Kodwa umtshato awuhlangani ngokwaneleyo kunye nolindelo lwakho mhlawumbi lixesha lokuphuma kwinqanaba lasekhohlo.
Kodwa ngaba leyo yeyona nto ufuna ukuyinxiba? Ukuba usilele kubudlelwane bakho? Kuthekani ukuba unabantwana? Ngaba ufuna ukuba bakholelwe emtshatweni ayisiyokuzibophelela kubomi bonke kodwa endaweni yoko unokuhamba ushiye umhla ogqiba ukuba awusonwabanga?
Okanye mhlawumbi ungaya ezantsi ujikeleze uzama ukwenza konke okusemandleni ukugcina umtshato wakho ukuze ngenye imini xa umntwana wakho omdala esiza kwaye umtshato wabo unengxaki ungasebenza njengomzekelo wento enzima kunye nokuzingisa okunokuthetha ukugcina umtshato uphila.
Ngamanye amaxesha ukwahlukana kuyindlela efanelekileyo
Kuya kufuneka ukuba iboniswe ukuba inye imeko apho ukhuthazo kufuneka lukhuthazwe kwaye kulapho elinye liqabane liphethwe gadalala ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwesondo. Akukho mntu ufanele ukuhlala kwezo meko kwaye ukwahlukana kufanelekile njengoko iqabane elonayo lifumana uncedo aludingayo ukuze ayeke imikhwa yakhe gadalala.