Umxholo
- Buyintoni ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo?
- Zithini izibonelelo zobudlelwane obuvulekileyo?
- Ithuba lokufunda kunye nokukhula nabanye abantu.
- Uthini malunga nokuhla kobudlelwane obuvulekileyo
- Luvuleke kangakanani olu lwalamano?
- Ukungabikho kokunyaniseka malunga namaqabane ezesondo
- Ukuthandana nomntu ongazibophelelanga
- Ngaba ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bukufanele?
Ukuthandana ngokungaqhelekanga okanye ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo yinto enomdla kubantu abaninzi abafuna nje ukonwaba nabanye abantu.
Ungaphuma kube kanye okanye kabini kwaye ungakhathazeki malunga nokuzibophelela okukhulu. Ke umbuzo, ngaba ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo busebenza, buxhomekeke kubo.
Ke kukho abo baqhubeka nobudlelwane bexesha elide nomntu ngelixa besathandana nabanye. Olu hlobo lobudlelwane obuvulekileyo lunezinto ezithile ezicacileyo kwabo bangakulungelanga ukuzibophelela, kodwa ke bathanda umntu abakunye naye.
Ke, ngaba obu budlelwane ngumbono olungileyo okanye ithemba eliyingozi?
Buyintoni ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo?
Ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bukunika ithuba lokufuna ubudlelwane nabanye abantu ngelixa uqhubeka nokubona iqabane lakho.
Ngokusisiseko oko kuthetha ukuba awukhethi bodwa kwaye unenkululeko yokulandela olunye ubudlelwane. Imigaqo yobudlelwane obuvulekileyo ihlala ixhomekeke kwisibini.
Kuxhomekeke kuwe kunye neqabane lakho ukuthatha isigqibo sokuba ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba unokukhululeka ngokupheleleyo ukubona abantu abaninzi njengoko ufuna. Kukho umbuzo wokuba ingaba oku kufuneka kubandakanya ubudlelwane bezesondo okanye hayi.
Ke, ungajongana njani nobudlelwane obuvulekileyo?
Izibini ezininzi zinokufumana indlela efanelekileyo kuzo.
Ukuba kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo akuqhelekanga kubantu abancinci abangakulungelanga ukuzibophelela ekusebenziseni ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bokuthandana. Nangona kunjalo, kukho iingenelo kunye nobubi bobudlelwane obuvulekileyo. Kubalulekile ukuba uqwalasele omabini amacala ngaphambi kokuthatha isigqibo sokuba oku kukulungele.
Zithini izibonelelo zobudlelwane obuvulekileyo?
Ezona zinto ziluncedo ziphambili nazi:
- Inkululeko yokwenza into ofuna ukuyenza nabantu abaninzi
- Ithuba lokudibana nabantu abohlukeneyo kwaye ufunde ngawe
- Ithuba lokuphonononga isini sakho nabantu abahlukeneyo
Ubudlelwane evulekileyo unika inkululeko ekuthinteleni
Olona ncedo luphambili apha kukuba ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo bukunika inkululeko engakumbi yokwenza into oyifunayo ngelixa uthandana. Enye yeengxaki ngobudlelwane obuzinikeleyo kukuba ngelixa unokumkhathalela loo mntu, uphelela kwilizwe labo.
Unokuziva ubotshelelwe kuloo mntu ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba ulahlekelwe nguwe kunye nezinye zezinto othanda ukuzenza. Kunokubakho amaxesha apho ukuyekethisa kuye kuthi xhaxhe kakhulu. Ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bususa esi sithintelo.
Unokuchitha ixesha nabantu abaninzi kuluhlu lweentsuku apho ufumana ukonwabela amava amaninzi. Oku kunokugqibelela kwabo bancinci, mhlawumbi ngaphandle kwekholeji kuphela, abajonga ukukhangela ukhetho lwabo kwaye bafunde ngakumbi ngehlabathi.
Ithuba lokufunda kunye nokukhula nabanye abantu.
Ewe kunjalo, ukuzama ngamava ohlukeneyo okuthandana kukwathetha ithuba lokuthandana neentlobo ezahlukeneyo zabantu.
Ukuba uzibophelela ekubeni ube nomntu omnye kwasebuncinaneni ungenagumbi lokuthandana nomnye umntu, ungaphulukana nolwalamano olukhulu.
Indlela evulekileyo yenza ukuba kube lula ukuqala incoko kwibar okanye kwikhonsathi nomntu onengqondo efanayo.
Unokuchitha ixesha kunye nabo kwimihla engenatyala ngokupheleleyo ukuba uthandana nomntu ongathandani naye.
Inkululeko yokuthandana nabantu abohlukeneyo inokukunceda uqonde ukuba zithini na izinto onomdla kuzo, ukhetha ukuba nabani kwaye ungumntu onjani. Kwelo nqaku, sihlala siyijonga into yokuba sonke siyatshintsha kwaye sikhula njengoko sikhula.
Siyoyika ukuphuma kwesithandwa seekholeji kuba iimfuno zethu, izimvo okanye iimeko zethu ziyatshintsha.
Ukulinga kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo kulungele nabo basaza kuhambelana nesini sabo.
Inkululeko yokuba kunye nabanye abantu kuthetha ukuthandana naye nabani na omthandayo ngaphandle kokuzibamba kwisini kunye nokuzibandakanya kwisini.
Umzekelo, ukuba uyathandana okanye ulala nomntu ongatshatanga naye, kodwa ubuzimanye kuphela ngesini esinye okanye isini, le yindlela elungileyo yokufunda ngakumbi malunga nezinto ozithandayo kunye nezinto ozikhethayo.
Akukho sizathu sokubambelela kubudlelwane bodwa kunye nendoda engatshatanga nayo, umzekelo, kwaye uphulukane nobudlelwane nomntu obhinqileyo okanye obhinqileyo.
Uthini malunga nokuhla kobudlelwane obuvulekileyo
Unokucinga ukuba uyakufumana okona kulungileyo kuwo omabini la mazwe xa uvumelana kubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo kodwa akunjalo.
Kukho umngcipheko obandakanyekayo kwaye kukho ithuba elihle lokuba awusoloko uhlala kwiphepha elinye. Ukuba ucinga ngokufudukela kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo nomhlobo okanye iqabane, jonga oku kulandelayo.
- Inqanaba lokunyaniseka kubudlelwane
- Umngcipheko wokubandakanya amaqabane esondo ahlukeneyo
- Imingcipheko yokuthandana nomntu ongalunganga
Luvuleke kangakanani olu lwalamano?
Zininzi izibini ezisebenzisa eli binzana livulekileyo kuphela ukuchaza ezazo Ukukwazi ukuphuma uye kufuna olunye ubudlelwane.
Akusoloko kuthetha ukuba bavulelekile malunga neenjongo, iimvakalelo okanye amava abo. Kubalulekile ukuba ukhululeke kwinqanaba lokunyaniseka kunye nokubhengeza kolu lwalamano.
- Ngaba wonwabile ngakumbi ngokungazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni xa iqabane lakho lichitha ubusuku kwenye indawo?
- Okanye, ngaba ufuna ukwazi yonke into ngoxolo lwakho lwengqondo malunga nolwalamano?
Kukho okuhle kunye nokubi kule mali yokuvuleka kunye nokunyaniseka.
Ukungabikho kokunyaniseka malunga namaqabane ezesondo
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uvaliwe kwaye uyimfihlo malunga nolwalamano lwakho kunye namava, oku kungabuya. Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba ubulandela umntu omnye ungakhange uqonde?
Ngaba nobabini kufuneka niyazi imbali yakho yesondo ngenxa yempilo kunye nentlalo-ntle yakho?
Oku kukhokelela kwenye ingongoma ebalulekileyo. Ngaba iqabane lakho liyaziqhelanisa isondo elikhuselekileyo xa bengekho nawe?
Unokuzithemba ngokwaneleyo ukuba uqiniseke ukuba ngekhe zikubeke emngciphekweni onje. Kodwa, ukuba babelana ngesondo nje kunye nabanye abantu, kukho umngcipheko wokuba elinye lala maqabane line-STI.
Ukuthandana nomntu ongazibophelelanga
Obu budlelwane bunokuba bukhulu xa kungabikho zintambo ziqhotyoshelweyo, njengoko kwakupapashiwe ukuqala kwakho. Kodwa oku kungatshintsha ngokulula.
Omnye kuni unokugqibela ngokukhula kwiimvakalelo ezinzulu apho ufuna ngakumbi kubudlelwane. Usenokude uthandane.
Oku kunokuba yinto entle ukuba iimvakalelo ziyafana kwaye uthatha isigqibo sokutshintshela kubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo. Kodwa, ngaba kunokwenzeka oko?
Kwenzeka ntoni xa uqala ukuthandana kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokuba awusafuni ukulala nabanye abantu, kodwa iqabane lakho aliziva lilo?
- Ngaba ungangcwaba ezo mvakalelo ukuze uqhubeke nale unayo?
- Ngaba ungabajonga bephuma nabanye abantu usazi ukuba ayinguwe wedwa iqabane labo ebomini babo?
Kunokuba lula kakhulu ukubanjiswa kulwalamano oluvulekileyo kuphela nolulungileyo kwelinye icala. Nokuba uthetha neqabane lakho kwaye ubacele ukuba bazibophelele, qhubeka nale meko ingonwabisiyo okanye uhambe.
Ngaba ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bukufanele?
Eyona ndlela ilungileyo kulo naluphi na ubudlelwane iya kuhlala ixhomekeke kwiimvakalelo zakho nakwimeko. Akukho mthetho wegolide kuzo zonke izibini. Umzekelo, ukuba ungumhlobo nomntu obumthembile iminyaka, kwaye nobabini nizimisele ukuzama ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo, inokusebenza.
Ukuba uthembekile kwaye ulwalamano lwangaphambili unganaso isiseko esomeleleyo apho uya konwaba kwaye ulinge. Ukuba sele uzibophelele kubudlelwane, ukutshata nomntu ongatshatanga naye kunokuba libali elahlukileyo.
Abanye abantu abatshatileyo bazakuzama ukulungisa ubudlelwane obungaphumeleli ngokuvumela amaqabane ukuba afumane oko kulahlekileyo kwenye indawo.
Oku kunokuba kuhle kwabo baswele ulwaneliseko ngokwesondo okanye abafuna ikhefu kwindlela yabo yesiqhelo.
Kodwa, kunokuba buhlungu kwabo ngoku kufuneka babukele abanye abantu bephula iindonga zokukhusela ezijikeleze ubudlelwane.
Jonga kwakhona:
Cinga ngononophelo onokukhetha kulo
Ukuba unomdla malunga nomxholo wobudlelwane obuvulekileyo, thatha ixesha lakho lokucinga ngenzuzo kunye nokubi.
Ukuba unomntu apho yonke into ixhaphake kwaye nobabini nifuna nje ukonwaba ngakumbi, inokusebenza okwethutyana. Konke kuxhomekeke kwinto eniyifunayo nobabini kulwalamano.
Ukuba nobabini niqinisekile ukuba ubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo abukho, kwaye unamandla okubona iqabane lakho nabanye abantu, yenze ifoto. Lungiselela nje amaxesha apho iyeka ukonwaba kwaye kufuneka uqhubeke.