Umxholo
- 1. Hayi kwimo yokwenza uthando
- 2. Ukulwa imicimbi efanayo
- 3. Ukuziphatha ngokungoyiki
- 4. Unxibelelwano oluphezulu
- 5. Ukungakwazi ukonwabela ukudibana ngokwasemzimbeni
- 6. Ukudinwa kakhulu ukulwa
- 7. Ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo
Masijongane nayo. Awonwabanga kwaye udiniwe. Ukuba sele utshatile ixesha elininzi, mhlawumbi uyaziqonda ezi mvakalelo ziimpawu nje zokuhla nokuhla ezichaza ubudlelwane.
Ngeli xesha, nangona kunjalo, kukho into engalunganga. Mhlawumbi sele usebenza ngayo kodwa kubonakala ngathi awufiki naphi na. Mhlawumbi awazi ukuba uqale ngaphi.
Ukuba uziva ukuba iingxaki zomtshato wakho ziyaphuma esandleni, kwaye isondo kunye nolwalamano owakha wanomtshato uye wawa ngokuthe ngcembe. Ke mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba uyithathele ingqalelo imiba yokusondelelana emtshatweni.
Isenokuba sisigaba esidlulileyo kodwa ngoku kuya kufuneka ukhumbule ngakumbi kwaye ufune ukucebisa ngesondo okanye unyango olusondeleyo. Kodwa yintoni ukucebisa ngokusondeleyo?
Ewe, ukucebisa ngokusondeleyo yinkqubo apho isibini sinokufunda ukusombulula naziphi na iingxaki zomtshato kunye nokuphucula iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuthandana emtshatweni wabo.
Ukucebisa ngokusondeleyo Ikwabizwa ngokuba lunyango ngokwesini, okanye isondo kunye nolwalamano olusenyongweni kunokunceda wena okanye iqabane lakho ukuba boyise naluphi na uloyiko malunga nokusondelelana olunokuthi luvele kwimpatho-mbi yangaphambili, imiba yokulahla, imiba yolawulo, kunye nezinye izizathu.
Ngapha koko, unyango ngesondo kubantu abatshatileyo luya kukunceda ukuba uziqonde ngcono iimfuno zeqabane lakho, kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha umonde wakhe ulwalamano kubudlelwane bakho.
Ke ukuba une-intuition yokuba ukusondelelana emtshatweni wakho kunokuba kuphume iileyili, nikela ingqalelo kwezi mpawu zilumkisayo zisi-7 zixutyushwe apha ngezantsi kwaye masibonise indlela yokujongana nazo ngokufanelekileyo.
1. Hayi kwimo yokwenza uthando
Ewe, sonke sinamaxesha apho sidinwe kakhulu ukuba singenzeki. Kwelinye icala, ukuba la maxesha ayenzeka rhoqo, kunokubakho into eqhubeka phantsi komhlaba.
Abantu abaninzi bazifumanisa bengahoyi amaqabane abo ngenxa yokuba bephela ekutsaleni kubo. Ayinyanzelekanga ukuba ibe yinto ebonakalayo kodwa inokuba luphawu lwengxaki: uxhulumaniso lweemvakalelo lulahlekile.
Ulwabelana ngesondo kubantu abatshatileyo izibini iingcebiso ngomtshato inokukunceda ukuphinda umise unxibelelwano olunzulu neqabane lakho ngokukufundisa indlela yokujongana nokukhathazeka kunye nokomeleza ubudlelwane bakho.
2. Ukulwa imicimbi efanayo
Ukuba neempikiswano luphawu lobudlelwane obusempilweni. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kuthetha ukuba uzimisele ukwenza inzame zokulungisa iingxaki zakho. Kodwa oku kuyinyani kuphela.Nje ukuba uqaphele ukuba ulwa malunga nemicimbi efanayo kaninzi, lixesha lokuba ufumane umcebisi womtshato.
Njengesibini, nobabini niyimanyano kwaye ngabantu ababini abahlukeneyo. Ngelixa uzama ukulungelelanisa iimfuno zakho kunye nezomtshato wakho, ayothusi into yokuba ukungqubana komdla kunokuvela.
Ukuba nobabini neqabane lakho ninobuntu obomeleleyo, akunakulindeleka ukuba bafikelele kwisivumelwano bodwa. Umlamli uya kuba nakho ukukunceda ufumanise ukuba yeyiphi eyona nto ibalulekileyo kwintsebenziswano yakho.
Ukucebisa ngesondo kubantu abatshatileyo okanye oomasifundisane abathandanayo abasondeleyo banokukunceda ngesidima ukuze uqonde ukubaluleka kwesondo emtshatweni.
3. Ukuziphatha ngokungoyiki
Njengabantwana abenza nabazali babo, izibini ezitsha zihlala zizama ukufumana umda omnye komnye. Nje ukuba wazane kwinqanaba elinzulu, uya kuba nakho ukwazi ukuba ungathini kwaye ungathethi ntoni kwiqabane lakho. Oku kuyinyani ngexesha leempikiswano.
Ngemicimbi yokusondelelana nangona kunjalo, kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba uqaphele amagama akho, kuba kulula ukwenzakalisa umntu xa usilwa ngesihloko esinobuzaza.
Ukuba uqaphela uqala ukukhupha izinto ongazithethiyo, thatha amanyathelo afanelekileyo ukuze ufunde indlela yokubonisa iimvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kokulimaza iqabane lakho ungenzi ngabom. Kulapho unyango lwezibini lungena khona.
Umntu onobuchule Ingcali yezesondo kwizibini ezitshatileyo akunakunceda kuphela ukuba unayo isini esingcono emtshatweni kodwa ndikuncede ukulawula nokuhambisa iimvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kokulimaza iqabane lakho.
4. Unxibelelwano oluphezulu
Ndagqibela nini ukuthetha kakuhle? Ngaba yonke le nto uthetha ngayo ingaphezulu kwaye ingenantsingiselo? Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ukungakwazi ukuba nencoko enzulu kunye neqabane lakho kunokubangela ukwahlulwa ngokweemvakalelo, okunokukhokelela ngokukhawuleza kwindlela yokwahlukana.
Ngokusebenzisa unyango lwezibini, uzakufunda indlela yokuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho, iminqweno, kunye nokukhathazeka ngendlela iqabane lakho elinokuyiqonda kwaye linxibelelane ngayo.
5. Ukungakwazi ukonwabela ukudibana ngokwasemzimbeni
Ngaba wena neqabane lakho nisathandana ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa awusakonwabeli nje ngendlela obukade uqhele ngayo? Izizathu ezininzi zisenokubangela le ngxaki, kwaye loo nto ayithethi ukuba umtshato wakho uyehla kumthombo.
Ukucebisa ngomtshato ibaluleke ngakumbi kule meko kuba umcebisi unokukunceda ufumane oyena nobangela kunye nesisombululo kwingxaki yakho.
6. Ukudinwa kakhulu ukulwa
Amaxesha athile iimpikiswano ziyinxalenye yesiqhelo yobuphi ubudlelwane. Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni ukuba awufumani mandla okuphatha nayiphi na imilo? Ukuba uziva iqabane lakho lingakuqondi kwaye iingxaki zakho ziphuma esandleni, phantse akunakwenzeka ukuba ufumane izizathu zokuqhubeka uzama.
Kubonakala ngathi kuyaphikisana, kodwa le yenye yezona mpawu zibalulekileyo zokuba umtshato wakho usengozini enkulu. Ukuthetha nomcebisi womtshato mhlawumbi kukugqibela.
7. Ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo
Mhlawumbi uye wangena kulo mtshato ngethemba lokufumana uthando, uthando, kunye nolwalamano kwelinye icala. Ixesha elingaphezulu, izinto azikhange zihambe ngendlela obuyilindele.
Ukuba wena neqabane lakho ninengxaki yokuqhakamshelana kwaye nisondelelene, kuyindalo ukuba uqala ukuphoswa ngala maxesha okusondelelana kwaye mhlawumbi ungaqala nokucinga ngokuwabelana ngomnye umntu.
Ukusuka apho uye ngaphandle, konke kulula kakhulu ukuthatha inyathelo elilandelayo kwaye ube nokuthandana okwenyani. Kodwa ukunganyaniseki kuhlala kusisaphuli-mthetho kwaye kunokonakalisa kwawona mitshato yomeleleyo.
Kuphephe ukuphulukana nolwalamano lwakho ngoku ukufumana umtshato counselor ngoko nangoko.