Umxholo
- 1. Chonga ukuba yintoni ekwenze wathandana
- Iyacetyiswa – Gcina Ikhosi Yam Yomtshato
- 2. Qala ukumamelana kwakhona
- 3. Cinga ngezinto ezenze umtshato wakho waziva wophukile
- 4. Thetha omnye komnye
- 5. Ungavumeli iziphazamiso ziphazamise ulwalamano lwakho
- 6. Fumana indlela yokudibanisa kwakhona
Yimvakalelo embi xa uqaphela ukuba izinto azisebenzi emtshatweni wakho. Umtshato ongaphumeleliyo lolona lwalamano lubi kakhulu onokucinga ngalo. Ishiya umzila weentlungu, unxunguphalo kunye nokungonwabisi.
Unokufuna ukuba kunye kodwa uzive ukuba kuninzi kakhulu okuphukileyo okanye okungalunganga ngolwalamano lwakho ukwenza ukuba kwenzeke.
Ayisiyonto ilula ukwamkela ukuba izinto azihambi kakuhle, kodwa iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba unganceda ukubuyisela izinto emgceni.
Ungasebenza ngeyona mingeni mikhulu ukuba ulungelelanisa kwaye ujongane nemicimbi enizisa phantsi nobabini.
Oku kuyakubandakanya nobabini kunye nokuzimisela ukuvuma xa umtshato wenu uqhawukile, yintoni engahambanga kakuhle kwaye ikwenze wena neqabane lakho nizise kumtshato ophukileyo emva koko nifumane iindlela zokuwulungisa umtshato owaphukileyo.
Kwelinye icala, ezinye izibini zinokuthatha indlela yokuncama kunokugcina umtshato, kodwa oko akufuneki ukuba kuyinyani.
Okona kuncinci, kufanelekile ukuzama la manyathelo ukuze ubone ukuba akusebenzela njani. Ekugqibeleni oku kunokukunceda ufumane umtshato owahlulekayo.
Ukuba uyazibuza ngendlela yokulungisa ubudlelwane obuqhekekileyo okanye umtshato, kuya kufuneka uthathe inyathelo ubuyele umva, ucamngce, kwaye uqwalasele eyona nto iphosakeleyo kwaye uzame ezi ndlela zokuvuselela umtshato.
1. Chonga ukuba yintoni ekwenze wathandana
Kubuhlungu xa ucinga ngendlela owawuthandana ngayo neqabane lakho kunye nendlela olonakalise ngayo ubudlelwane bakho.
Ukuba ucinga ngendlela yokulungisa umtshato owaphukileyo okanye ukulungisa ubuhlobo obuqhekekileyo buyela kwiziseko kwaye uzifake kwingqondo yokuba naqala nini ukuhlangana kunye nothando kuqala.
Cinga ngento eyenze ukuba nobabini nithandane kwaye mhlawumbi niyibhale phantsi.
Cinga ngento oyithandayo ngalo mntu kwaye yintoni eyenze wafuna ukuba kunye nabo.
Nangona usenokuba uyilibele le nto, ukucinga kumaxesha amnandi kwaye usandul 'ukuthandana kunganceda ngokwenene ukuphakamisa imimoya yakho kwaye philisa umtshato wakho oqhekekileyo.
Iyacetyiswa – Gcina Ikhosi Yam Yomtshato
Bhala ezona mpawu zabo zibalaseleyo kwaye usenokude ufumanise ukuba basekhona, kodwa ube nobunzima ekunxibelelaneni nabo mva nje.
2. Qala ukumamelana kwakhona
Ncokola kwakhona kwaye uqale ukunxibelelana nabanye. Mamela kwinto ekuxelela yona iqabane lakho, emva koko ubuze okufanayo.
Ngokwenyani yenza ukuba kube yinto yokumamela omnye komnye kwaye inokuba yeyona nto ikuncedayo ekufumaneni oko kwakusemtsha ngomtshato wakho.
Ukucinga ukuba uza kuwenza njani umtshato usebenze? Mamela nje kwiqabane lakho, zama ukuqonda ukuba bafuna ntoni.
Ukuphulaphula kunamandla! Ukuphulaphula ngononophelo kuya kukunceda gcina umtshato wakho.
3. Cinga ngezinto ezenze umtshato wakho waziva wophukile
Kutheni imitshato isilela? Zonakele phi izinto? Kwenzeka ntoni ukuze ufikelele kwinqanaba lokuqhawuka komtshato? Ngaba ukhule ngokwahlukeneyo? Ngaba ukho kuni okrexezayo? Okanye ngaba ubomi buye baba sengozini?
Ukuchonga iifayile ze- Unobangela womtshato oqhekekileyo ibalulekile ukuze kulungiswe enye.
Ezi zezinye zezizathu zokuba umtshato uqhawuke:
- Umsantsa wonxibelelwano
Ukudunga i unxibelelwano inokonakalisa kakhulu ubudlelwane.
Xa abantu abatshatileyo beyeka ukwabelana ngezinto kunye nabanye kwaye beveza izimvo zabo, benza buthathaka unxibelelwano lwabo. Xa unxibelelwano lwabo luba buthathaka, ulwalamano lwabo luphulukana namandla alo.
Le yenye yeempawu zokungaphumeleli komtshato. Ukuba umtshato wakho usecicini lokuqhekeka, kufuneka uqinise uqhagamshelo lwakho ngokunxibelelana ngakumbi. Ukufa konxibelelwano kunokuqhuba umda phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho.
- Ukungathembeki
Ukukopa kwiqabane lakho kunokuba sisaphuli-mthetho sokugqibela. Ukuba elinye lamaqabane kulwalamano liyanelisa ukungathembeki, ngokuqinisekileyo lonakalisa ubudlelwane.
- Ukungabikho kwenkathalo kunye nothando
Ngexesha ukuthanda kuyaphela kubudlelwane kwaye izibini ziyeke ukubonisa uthando kunye nokukhathalelana.
Ekugqibeleni, bonke ubumnandi kunye nobushushu bobudlelwane buhamba kwaye akukho vuyo luseleyo emtshatweni. Oku kunokubangela ukuba umtshato uqhawuke.
- Intlekele
Iimeko zentlekele zinokuwenza womelele umtshato okanye zinokuwuqhawula.
Kumaxesha anzima, indlela izibini ezincedisana ngayo igqiba ngokuba ubudlelwane babo buza kuba bubuhle okanye bube bubi kangakanani. Xa amaqabane engaxhasani, oko kubonisa ukuba bakumtshato owoyisayo.
Nokuba ubudlelwane budlule kwezi ngxaki, ukugcina umtshato oqhekekileyo ayinakwenzeka. Zininzi iimeko apho ungasebenza kuzo nangona bezitshonile emtshatweni ukuza kuthi ga ngoku.
Cinga xa izinto zihamba zilungile ziye kokubi, emva koko uzame ukufumana isisombululo sokulungisa ubudlelwane obuqhekekileyo okanye ukulungisa umtshato owaphukileyo.
Jonga le vidiyo ngobuchwephesha bobudlelwane uMary Kay Cocharo ngendlela yokulungisa okanye ukulungisa umtshato owaphukileyo:
4. Thetha omnye komnye
Yiba nomonde omnye komnye, nkqu nakwiindawo ezibonakala ngathi zizezona ngxaki zinkulu.
Thetha omnye komnye kunokuba ube kwi-AT omnye komnye. Le yinxalenye yokumamela, kuba xa usandisa unxibelelwano kuyanceda ukunxibelelana kwakhona.
Yiba nomonde kwaye ukulungele ukusebenza kwiingxaki kwaye uyazi ukuba iya kukukhokelela kumaxesha angcono ngokubanzi. Lo ngumba obaluleke kakhulu ukuba ugcine engqondweni xa usindisa umtshato wakho ekuqhekekeni.
5. Ungavumeli iziphazamiso ziphazamise ulwalamano lwakho
Ngokuqinisekileyo unokuba nabantwana kunye nemisebenzi kunye nezinye izinto ezininzi ebomini bakho, kodwa ungabavumeli beme endleleni yomtshato wakho.
Ubomi buyaxakeka kodwa isibini kufuneka sikhule kunye kwaye sihambelane kuwo onke amaxesha amnandi nabi.
Yenza inqaku lokuphinda uthandane kwakhona, ukuthetha ngakumbi, kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba usengumthombo omanyeneyo nokuba ubomi buxakekile kangakanani. Qhubeka uthandana neqabane lakho, ukuthandana ngu Isitshixo sokugcina umtshato owaphukileyo.
Kuyanceda kuba njengoko ucwangcisa imihla yokudibana kunye nengqondo yasimahla, unokugcina uxanduva komnye nomnye.
6. Fumana indlela yokudibanisa kwakhona
Cinga ngento eya kuthatha ukunxibelelana kunye kwakhona.
Cwangciseni uhambo lwenu nobabini kuphela. Zibophelele ekuchitheni nokuba yimizuzu embalwa kunye ubusuku bonke bencokola. Phuma ngemihla kwaye yenzani into ephambili ibe nye.
Xa unokufumana indlela yakho yokubuyela komnye kwakhona kwaye uqhagamshele ngokwenene, oko kunokuba luncedo ukulungisa umtshato owaphukileyo.
Ezi ngcebiso malunga nendlela yokuwusindisa umtshato kunye nendlela yokujongana nomtshato oqhekekileyo ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kukunceda ulondoloze ubudlelwane bakho.
Ngamanye amaxesha ngumbandela wokucingisisa ngezinto ezinokukunceda ufumane ulonwabo oluhlala luhleli, nokuba wawucinga ukuba umtshato uyawohloka — indlela yokwenza umtshato oqhekekileyo usebenze kwaye wonwabele ukonwaba emva koko uhlala uphupha!