Umxholo
- 1. Izinto ezibangela ingcinga
- 2. Ukungakwazi ukunyamezela ukwenzakala
- 3. Ukukhula kwiintsapho ezixhaphazayo
- 4. Ukungabikho kwemida emtshatweni
- 5. Ukungabikho kovelwano
- 6. Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi
Kuyothusa ngokuxhaphakileyo- abantu bayatshata, banethemba lokuhlala bonwabile, kwaye xa bejonga umtshato wabo ngenye imini, ukukhohlisa kweqabane elinobubele nothando kuphelile. Oyena mntu bekufanele ukuba bamthembe ngobomi babo kunye nolonwabo ngoyena mntu ubenza ukuba babe lusizi kwaye ngelishwa, uhlala ebeka emngciphekweni impilo kunye nokhuseleko lwabo ngokuzibandakanya ekuxhatshazweni ngabantu abatshatileyo.
Nangona ubudlelwane obunjalo buphantsi kovavanyo lwengqondo kumashumi eminyaka, kusenzima ukukhangela oonobangela bobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, kwaye nokuba yintoni ebangela ukuba umxhaphazi abandakanyeke kwisiqendu sobundlobongela.
Nangona kunjalo, kukho izinto ezithile ezixhaphakileyo kwimitshato enjalo, kunye nakwabenzi bobubi abaninzi. Nalu uluhlu lwezizathu ezihlanu zokuba kutheni ukuphathwa gadalala kwabantu abatshatileyo kusenzeka emtshatweni, yintoni ebangela ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye kutheni abaxhaphazi bekuxhaphaza:
1. Izinto ezibangela ingcinga
Ubuhlobo obuxhaphazayo buqala njani?
Uphando lubonisa ukuba eyona nto ithintela ubundlobongela kwingxabano yomtshato kukulandelelana kweengcinga eziyingozi, ezihlala zibonisa umfanekiso ogqwethekileyo wokwenene.
Akuqhelekanga ukuba ulwalamano lube neendlela zalo zokuphikisana ezihlala zihamba kwaye zingabonakali. Kodwa kubudlelwane obunobundlobongela, ezi ngcinga zingunobangela wokuphathwa gadalala kwaye kunokuba yingozi kwixhoba.
Umzekelo, ukugqwetha okumbalwa okuhlala kuhleli engqondweni yomenzi wobubi, okanye ngasemva kwengqondo yakhe, zezi: Ucinga ukuba unjalo, uthetha nam ngolohlobo?
Nje ukuba ezo nkolelo zifike engqondweni yomxhaphazi, kubonakala ngathi akusekho kubuya mva kwaye ubundlobongela buza sele bukufuphi.
2. Ukungakwazi ukunyamezela ukwenzakala
Kunzima ukuba wonke umntu enzakaliswe ngulowo simthandayo kwaye sazibophelela kubomi bethu. Ukuhlala nomntu, ukwabelana ngoxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla kunye nobunzima obungenakulindeleka kuya kukhokelela ekwenzakaleni nasekuphoxekeni ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa uninzi lwethu lujongana neemeko ezinjalo ngaphandle kokuba nobundlobongela okanye ukubaphatha gadalala abantu abatshatileyo.
Nangona kunjalo, abenzi bokuxhaphaza abatshatileyo babonisa ukungakwazi ukunyamezela ukwenziwa gwenxa (okanye umbono wabo njengowonakeleyo kwaye ukhubekisileyo). Aba bantu babonisa indlela yokuziphatha gadalala abasabela kwintlungu ngokubangela iintlungu kwabanye. Abakwazi ukuzivumela ukuba bazive benxunguphalo, lusizi, ukubonakala bebuthathaka, besesichengeni, okanye bethobekile nangayiphi na indlela.
Ke, yintoni eyenza ubudlelwane buhlukumeze kwiimeko ezinjalo kukuba bayahlawulisa endaweni yoko bahlasele ngokungenasiphelo.
3. Ukukhula kwiintsapho ezixhaphazayo
Nangona ingenguye wonke umntu ophethe gadalala ophuma kusapho oluxhatshazwayo okanye olunobuntwana obunobundlongondlongo, uninzi lwabahlukumezi banengxaki yokwenzakala ebuntwaneni kwimbali yabo yobuqu. Kwangokunjalo, amaxhoba amaninzi okuphathwa gadalala ngamaqabane ahlala evela kwiintsapho apho izinto ezinamandla zazinetyhefu kwaye zigcwele ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasemzimbeni.
Ngale ndlela, bobabini indoda kunye nomfazi (bahlala bengazi) babona ukuphathwa gadalala kwabantu abatshatileyo emtshatweni njengesiqhelo, mhlawumbi kwanokubonakalisa ukusondelelana nothando.
Kwakwimigca efanayo, bukela le vidiyo apho uLeslie Morgan Steiner, ixhoba lasekhaya, naye wabelana ngamava akhe apho iqabane lakhe, elalinosapho olungasebenzi kakuhle, lalidla ngokumphatha gadalala ngazo zonke iindlela kwaye lichaza ukuba kutheni amaxhoba obundlobongela basekhaya engakwazi ukuphuma ngokulula kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo:
4. Ukungabikho kwemida emtshatweni
Ukongeza kunyamezelo olusezantsi lokwenzakaliswa ngumxhaphazi, kunye nokunyamezelana okuphezulu kugonyamelo, imitshato yokuhlukumeza ihlala ibonakaliswa yinto enokuthi ichazwe njengokunqongophala kwemida.
Ngamanye amagama, ngokungafaniyo nokusondelelana kubudlelwane obusempilweni, abantu abakwimitshato ephethe gadalala bakholelwa kubudlelwane obungenakuqhekeka phakathi kwabo. Oku kunokuphendula nje umbuzo onabantu wokuba kutheni uxinzelelo lwenzeka nakwindawo ekuthiwa yeyothando.
Olu bophelelo lukude nothando, lubonisa ukusombuluka kwemida okuyimfuneko kulwalamano. Ngale ndlela, kuya kuba lula kokubini ukuhlukumeza iqabane kunye nokunyamezela ukuphathwa gadalala, njengoko kungekho namnye uziva ahlukene nomnye. Ke, ukunqongophala kwemida kuvela njengesinye sezizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuphathwa gadalala emzimbeni.
5. Ukungabikho kovelwano
Isizathu esilindelekileyo esenza ukuba umenzi wobubi enze ubundlobongela emntwini abelana naye ngobomi babo kukuswela uvelwano, okanye ukuziva usiva kakhulu ngovelwano, into ethatha ithuba lokuqhubela phambili ngalo lonke ixesha. Umntu onotyekelo lokuxhaphaza uhlala ekholelwa ukuba phantse banamandla angaphezu kwendalo okuqonda abanye.
Bahlala bekubona ukusikelwa umda kunye nobuthathaka babanye ngokucacileyo. Kungenxa yoko le nto, xa bejamelene nokuswela kwabo uvelwano kwingxoxo okanye kwiseshoni yonyango lwengqondo, bayaphikisana ngolangazelelo nebango elinjalo.
Nangona kunjalo, into abangayiqondiyo kukuba uvelwano aluthethi nje ukubona iziphene zabanye nokungazithembi, inento yokwenza nayo kwaye iza nokukhathalela nokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zabanye.
Ngapha koko, kwafunyanwa kuphononongo olwenziwe yiYunivesithi yase-Barcelona ukuba ukubeka umxhaphazi kwizihlangu zexhoba kusetyenziswa inkqubo yenyani yokuntywilisela, abahlukumezi babenakho ukuqonda indlela aboyikeka ngayo amaxhoba abo ngelixa bephathwa gadalala kwaye kwaphucula ukuqonda kwabo iimvakalelo.
6. Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi
Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi sesinye sezizathu zokuxhaphaza kubudlelwane. Ngokwengxelo yeAmerican Journal of Public Health, kuye kwafumaniseka ukuba aba babini banxulumene ngokunxulumene nangendlela yokuba ngamanye amaxesha abenzi boxhatshazo nabo banyanzela amaxhoba abo ukuba asebenzise utywala neziyobisi. Iziganeko ezininzi zobundlobongela zibandakanya ukusetyenziswa kotywala okanye iziyobisi ezingekho mthethweni.
Imicimbi yesini kuhlukunyezo lomtshato
Kuyathakazelisa ukuqaphela ukuba ukwanda kokuxhatshazwa kwabantu abatshatileyo kwindawo ye-LGBTQ kuxelwe gwenxa ikakhulu ngenxa yokoyika ukuphinda babekwe ibala njengoluntu, umbono oqinisekileyo malunga namandla wamadoda nabasetyhini kunye nokunye.
Ucalucalulo lukwakhona xa iindima zesini zibuyiselwe kubudlelwane besini esahlukileyo, apho isimilo seqabane elihlukumezayo linganikwanga ukubaluleka ngelixa sixelwa ukuba umxhaphazi ngumntu obhinqileyo. Yonke le nto ingamkhuthaza ngakumbi umntu ophethe gadalala ukuba aqhubeke nomjikelo wobundlobongela.
Umtshato uhlala unzima kwaye uthatha umsebenzi omninzi. Kodwa akufuneki kuze nokuziphatha gadalala kwabantu abatshatileyo kunye nokubandezeleka kwicala labo benzelwe ukukhusela amaqabane abo kwingozi. Kwabaninzi, utshintsho lunokwenzeka, ngoncedo lobuchule kunye nesikhokelo, kwaye imitshato emininzi yaziwa ngokuba iyaphumelela emva kokulufumana.