Umxholo
- 1. Ukubonelela ngokhuseleko nenkxaso
- 2. Ukulinganisa uthando kunye noqeqesho
- 3. Ukhuthaza ukuzithemba
- 4. Ufundisa ukuba bhetyebhetye
- 5. Ukukhuthaza imveliso
- 6. Yehlisa umngcipheko wokuba likhoboka
- 7. Iimodeli zezakhono zobudlelwane
Ngokukhawuleza nje ukuba uve igama elithi “onegunya” usenokudibana nezinto ezingathandekiyo. Kungenxa yokuba igunya linokuxhatshazwa ngokulula.
Ngelishwa, uninzi lwethu luye lwafumana into ethile okanye egwenxa yegunya ebisetyenziswe gwenxa ngathi.
Kodwa igunya lona ngokwalo lihle kakhulu, libhekisa kumntu onoxanduva lokujonga impilo yabanye nokuqinisekisa ukuba izinto zihamba kakuhle.
Ke yintoni igunya lokuba ngumzali? kwaye ukuba ngumzali onegunya kumchaphazela njani umntwana?
Xa umzali enobulungisa, enobubele kwaye eqinile, isikhundla sabo segunya siya kuhlonitshwa, Ukwenza ukuba bobabini umzali nomntwana bafunde kwaye bakhule kwimeko entle nehambelana. Le yeyona njongo yokuba ngumzali onegunya.
Xa olu hlobo lusetyenziswa ngokungaguquguqukiyo ngokuqinisekileyo kubakho iziphumo ezintle kunye nezibonelelo ezinokuthi ziqwalaselwe kwaye zinamava.
Eli nqaku liza kuxoxa ngeziphumo ezisixhenxe ezilungileyo zokuba ngumzali onegunya kwaye ukuba ngumzali okugunyazisiweyo kukuchaphazela njani ukukhula komntwana.
Jonga kwakhona:
1. Ukubonelela ngokhuseleko nenkxaso
Ukukhula kunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo kunye neyothusayo kumntwana omncinci kwihlabathi elikhulu elibanzi. Yiyo loo nto befuna indawo abaza kuyibiza ngokuba likhaya, kunye nabazali ababonelela ngemida ecacileyo neqinileyo ukuze bazi ukuba kwamkelekile kwaye yintoni engamkelekanga.
Abantwana bafuna ukhuseleko lokwazi ukuba umama notata baya kuhlala bekhona kubo ukuba bayasokola kunye nemibuzo.
Xa izinto ziba nzima bayazi abazali babo baya kubaxhasa, babakhuthaze, kwaye ubafundise indlela yokucinga ngeemeko kwaye bafumane isisombululo esisebenzayo.
2. Ukulinganisa uthando kunye noqeqesho
Ngamanye amaxesha oku kunokubonakala ngathi yinto yokulwa, kodwa abazali abanegunya bajonge kwaye bazame ukumisela imigangatho ephezulu yokuziphatha kunye nokuphumelela kubantwana babo ngaphandle kokuyekisa icala lothando nokondla ubudlelwane babo.
Bafuna ukuba novelwano kunye nokuqonda kubantwana babo, ngaphandle kokuncama iziphumo zokuziphatha gwenxa.
Abazali abagunyazisiweyo abayisebenzisi isohlwayo esiqatha, Iintloni okanye ukurhoxiswa kothando lokulawula okanye ukuxhaphaza abantwana babo.
Endaweni yoko babonisa imbeko emntwaneni wabo ekunokwenzeka ukuba abuyisele imbeko ngentlonipho, kwaye ulungelelwaniso lothando kunye noqeqesho luyenziwa.
Esinye sezona ziphumo zihle zokuba ngumzali onegunya kukukwazi komntwana ukuphindisela imbeko nabanye abangqongileyo
3. Ukhuthaza ukuzithemba
Abazali abanegunya bahlala bekhuthaza abantwana babo, esalatha amandla abo, ebanceda ukuba basebenze kubuthathaka babo kwaye babhiyozele lonke uloyiso.
Abantwana bakhuthazekile ukuba basebenze nzima kwaye banikele konke okusemandleni abo njengoko abazali babo beqonda kwaye bexabisa iinzame zabo.
Oku kuzala ukuzithemba emntwaneni ongayi koyika ukuzama izinto ezintsha kunye nokulawula iimeko ezahlukeneyo ebomini. Bayaziqonda ukuba banakho ukwenza ntoni, kwaye bayakwazi ukuzimela.
Bayakufunda indlela yokuzimela kwaye ngentlonelo bathi 'hayi' ukuba kunyanzelekile kuba yile ndlela bafundiswe ngayo ngokujonga abazali babo abanegunya.
4. Ufundisa ukuba bhetyebhetye
Ubomi bumalunga nokufunda nokukhula apha endleleni, kwaye abantwana abakhuliswe ngeendlela zokuba ngabazali abagunyazisiweyo banokusiqonda isidingo sokuba bhetyebhetye ukuze bakwazi ukuziqhelanisa notshintsho olungenakuphepheka ebomini.
Abazali baya kufunda kwiimpazamo zabo kwaye bakulungele ukulalanisa xa kukho imfuneko.
Baza kuhlala bevavanya indlela yabo ukuze bahambisane nokukhula kwabantwana babo kwaye baqiniseke ukuba okulindelweyo kufanelekile ngokweminyaka.
Bayakuthathela ingqalelo ubuntu bomntwana ngamnye, nokuba baneentloni kwaye bayazazisa okanye banobuhlobo kwaye bayaphuma.
Njengokuba abantwana babo beqhubela phambili ukusuka ebusaneni ukuya ekubeni ngabancinci, kwaye emva koko babe ngumntwana omncinci kunye nokufikisa, abazali abanegunya baya kukhulisa imeko yabo yokukhula kwenkululeko de kufikelelwe ebudaleni.
5. Ukukhuthaza imveliso
Ngokungafaniyo nesimbo esivumelekileyo sokuba ngumzali, abazali abanegunya baxhalabile kakhulu ngeziphumo ezifunyanwa ngabantwana babo.
Banikela ingqalelo kumsebenzi wesikolo wabantwana babo, ukuya kwimisitho kunye nemisebenzi esikolweni kunye nokunceda ngandlela zonke ezinokwenzeka ngezifundo zabo.
Xa umntwana ehamba ngamaxesha anzima umzali onegunya uyazi kakuhle into eyenzekayo kwaye unika umntwana wakhe ingcebiso nenkxaso ekoyiseni imiqobo.
Bazibekela iinjongo kunye kwaye babhiyozele xa kufikelelwe ngempumelelo. Abantwana abakhuliswe ngale modeli yobuzali bahlala benemveliso kwaye baqhuba kakuhle emsebenzini wabo wesikolo.
6. Yehlisa umngcipheko wokuba likhoboka
Ukugcina abantwana bekhuselekile kwiindlela zokuziphatha eziyingozi kunye neziyobisi ezinjengokusela utywala, ukutshaya kunye nokusebenzisa iziyobisi kuya kusiba ngumceli mngeni ngakumbi.
Nangona kunjalo, abantwana abanabazali abagunyazisiweyo kunqabile ukuba behle kwindlela yeziyobisi kuba abazali babo bayabandakanyeka kubomi babo.
Bayazi ukuba abazali babo bayakuqaphela ukuba akukho lutshintsho kwindlela abaziphethe ngayo.
Bayazi nokuba ukuzibandakanya kolu hlobo lokuziphatha ngokuchasene nentlalontle kuya konakalisa ubudlelwane bokuthembeka kunye nembeko abanayo nabazali babo.
7. Iimodeli zezakhono zobudlelwane
Ekupheleni kosuku, ukuba ngumzali onegunya konke malunga nokumodareyitha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nobokubambisana phakathi komzali nomntwana.
Abantwana bafundiswa ngokubonisa ngokungaguquguqukiyo kwezakhono zobudlelwane obufanelekileyo njengokumamela ngothando nokubonisa uvelwano. Intlonipho sisiseko esinikwe lonke unxibelelwano lwabo.
Xa kuvela iingxabano zisingathwa ngendlela ecacileyo neqinileyo, ukulungisa umba osengxakini ngaphandle kokuhlasela ubuntu bomntwana nokonakalisa iimvakalelo zabo.
Abazali abanegunya bayazi ukuba nabo bangabantu kwaye abonqeni ukuxolisa emntwaneni wabo xa besilele ngandlela thile.
Banika umntwana inkululeko yokuzenzela izigqibo kwaye ke bafunde ukuthatha uxanduva ngezenzo zabo.
Ubudlelwane obuphilileyo phakathi kwabazali abagunyazisiweyo kunye nabantwana babo bushushu, banobuhlobo kwaye banentlonipho.
Abantwana bayaphumelela kolu hlobo lomoya apho bayazi ukuba nokuba kwenzeka ntoni na abazali babo baya kubathanda kwaye babaxabise.
Ukukhulisa abantwana bakho kwindawo enegunya ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kunceda abantwana bakho ukuba bonwabe. Bangonwaba ngakumbi, babe nakho, kwaye baphumelele kwaye babe nakho ukubanakho ukulawula nokulawula iimvakalelo zabo.
Ukuqonda ukuzimela komntwana wakho ngelixa umfundisa uqeqesho olunegunya kunye nokunika iingcebiso ngobushushu obuninzi yile nto yokuba ngumzali onegunya ngayo.