Izizathu ezingama-30 zokuba abantu baKopela kubudlelwane- Ingcali yokujikeleza

Umbhali: Peter Berry
Umhla Wokudalwa: 17 Eyekhala 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 23 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Izizathu ezingama-30 zokuba abantu baKopela kubudlelwane- Ingcali yokujikeleza - I-Psychology
Izizathu ezingama-30 zokuba abantu baKopela kubudlelwane- Ingcali yokujikeleza - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Yintoni ukukopa kubudlelwane?

Ukukopa kuxa elinye iqabane lingcatsha ukuthembana kwelinye iqabane kwaye lisaphule isithembiso sokugcina kuphela iimvakalelo kunye nezesondo kunye nalo.

Ukuqhathwa ngumntu omthanda kakhulu kunokuba buhlungu. Abantu abakhohliswa bahlupheka kakhulu.

Ngaba unokuyicinga indlela ekumele ukuba uziva ngayo xa umntu ekhohliswa aze axokiswe liqabane lakhe, awayephuphe ngokuchitha nabo ubomi babo bonke?

Baziva benomsindo, bedanile kwaye bophukile. Into yokuqala ethi qatha ezingqondweni zabo xa bekhohliswa yile, "Kutheni le nto yenzekile, yintoni eyenze amaqabane abo akhohlise?"

Kuqheleke kangakanani ukukopela


Ngubani okopela amadoda okanye abafazi abaninzi? Ngaba amadoda akhohlisa ngakumbi kunabafazi?

Nangona amadoda nabafazi bekhohlisa, amanani abonisa ukuba amadoda amaninzi kunabafazi avumile ukuba anemicimbi emva komtshato. Ke, yeyiphi ipesenti yabantu abakhohlisayo?

Ukuba ubuza ukuba yeyiphi ipesenti yamadoda okopayo kwaye yeyiphi ipesenti yabasetyhini abakhohlisayo, ayimangalisi into yokuba amadoda eneepesenti ezisi-7 zokukopa ngakumbi kunabafazi.

Jonga kwakhona:

Ngaba bonke abantu bayakopa?

Iinkcukacha-manani ziyangqina ukuba amadoda kunokwenzeka ngakumbi ukukopa kunabafazi, kodwa kukude ekutyhilweni ukuba onke amadoda ayakopa.


Ayingawo onke amadoda afana kwaye ayingabo bonke abakopayo. Nangona kunjalo, ngokwengqondo, kukho izinto ezenza ukuba amadoda akhohlise ngakumbi kunabafazi.

Abasetyhini zizinto ezibuthathaka kakhulu kwaye ziyabandezeleka ngokwasemphefumlweni xa amadoda ekopela kubo.

Bazifumana bekhathazekile yile mibuzo, "Kutheni le nto isenzeka, kutheni amadoda atshatileyo ekopa?" , "Ngaba uyaqhatha?"

Ayisiyonto yokudlula nje ngokukhawuleza, amaxesha amaninzi abantu basetyhini bafumana abayeni babo beqhubeka nemicimbi ekudala bezibuza malunga namaqabane abo, "Kutheni amadoda atshatileyo enemicimbi yexesha elide?", "Kutheni abantu beqhatha kubudlelwane?"

Uncedo lweengcali ezingama-30 zobudlelwane phendula lo mbuzo ungezantsi ukukunceda uqonde ukuba kutheni amadoda ekopa:

1. Amadoda ayaqhatha ngenxa yokuswela ukukhula

UGqr. I-TEQUILLA HILL HALES, I-LMFT

Ingcali yeengqondo


Kutheni le nto amadoda ekopa kubudlelwane?

Amadoda, ngokubanzi, aya kuba nezizathu ezininzi zokuba babandakanyeke kwimicimbi engaphandle komtshato. Ukusuka kumava am eklinikhi, ndiqaphele umxholo oqhelekileyo wokungakhuli ngokwasemphefumlweni kunye nabo basebenza ngokweemvakalelo nangokomzimba ukukopa.

Ukungabikho kokuvuthwa kokutyala ixesha, ukuzibophelela, kunye namandla okusebenza ngemicimbi ephambili kubudlelwane babo bomtshato kungoko amadoda ekopela, ewe, ubuncinci abanye babo. Endaweni yoko, la madoda ahlala ekhetha ukubandakanyeka kwimisebenzi eyingozi kubo bobabini ababalulekileyo, kwiintsapho nakwiziqu zabo.

Iziphumo ezitshisayo ezihlala ziza nesiphumo sokukopela kubudlelwane asiqwalaselwa kude kube semva kwenyani.

Ukukopa kwamadoda kunokubonakala kokungakhathali. Kuya kuba luncedo kumadoda acinga ukukopela ukuba acinge ixesha elide kwaye kunzima ukuba umcimbi kufanelekile ukuba wenzakalise okanye uphulukane nabo babhengeza ukuba babathanda kakhulu.

Ngaba ulwalamano lwakho ngokwenene ukugembula?

2. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa enziwe ukuba azive engafaneleki

UDANIELLE ADINOLFI, MFT

Iingcali zonyango

Kutheni amadoda ekopa? Imvakalelo ebandayo yokungoneliseki sisandulela esikhulu somnqweno wokukopa. Amadoda (kunye nabasetyhini) bazonwabisa ngokukopa xa beziva bengonelanga.

Amadoda aqhathayo aphindaphindiweyo ngawona enziwa ukuba azive engaphantsi kunabo, bafuna ukufumana umntu owenza ukuba bazive bebalulekile.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo, bazama ukuvala isikhewu esisetyenziswa ngamaqabane abo.

Ukufuna ingqwalaselo ngaphandle kobudlelwane luphawu lokuba benziwe baziva bengonelisekanga ngamaqabane abo.

Ukujonga ukujongwa ngaphandle kobudlelwane luphawu olubalaseleyo lokungcatsha okuvelayo kubudlelwane kunye nesizathu sokuba amadoda ekopela.

3. Amadoda aneentloni ngomnqweno wawo wolonwabo

UMarko OCONNELL, LCSW- R, MFA

Ingcali yengqondo

Kutheni le nto amadoda alungileyo enemicimbi? Impendulo yile - Shame.

Kutheni amadoda enemicimbi yeemvakalelo kwaye ingeyiyo eyomzimba kuphela kungenxa yeentloni, yiyo loo nto abantu bekopa.

Ndiyazi ukuba izandi ziyindida kwaye zinje ngengxaki yehashe lenqwelo kuba abantu abaninzi besiba neentloni emva ukubanjwa ukukopela. Kodwa iindlela zokuziphatha zokukopa zihlala zibangelwa ziintloni.

Ndiyakucaphukela ukuncitshiswa kunye nokuhlelwa ngokwamacandelo, kodwa into amadoda amaninzi athe akopela ezifanayo- zombini izitabane kunye ngqo- linqanaba elithile leentloni malunga neminqweno yabo yolonwabo.

Indoda ekopelayo ihlala ikhathazwa yimvakalelo eyomeleleyo kodwa efihliweyo yeentloni malunga neminqweno yakhe yesini.

Uninzi lwabo luyabathanda kwaye luzinikele ngokunzulu kumaqabane abo, kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha bahlakulela uloyiko olukhulu lweminqweno yabo yokwaliwa.

Ukusondela kwakhe nabani na emntwini esimthandayo, kokukhona ubuhlobo buqheleka ngakumbi kunye nosapho, kwaye ke kunzima ngakumbi ukufuna ulonwabo njengabantu-ngakumbi xa kufikwa kwisini kunye nokuthandana-ngaphandle kokulimaza omnye umntu kwezinye indlela, kwaye uneentloni ngenxa yoko.

Endaweni yokuba semngciphekweni weentloni zokuveza iminqweno yabo kunye nokwaliwa, amadoda amaninzi agqiba kwelokuba azenze zombini ezi ndlela: ubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo, obunqabisekileyo nothando ekhaya; kwaye ubudlelwane obonwabisayo, obukhululayo, nobokwabelana ngesondo kwenye indawo, le yimpendulo yombuzo othi, "kutheni abantu bekopa"

Njengomphathiswa, ndinceda abantu ukuba bahambe ngomsebenzi onzima wokuthetha ngeemfuno zesondo kunye namaqabane abo, kunokuba bajonge ukukopela okanye ukuhlukana okungadingekile. Kwiimeko ezininzi, izibini zigqiba ekubeni zihlale kunye njengesiphumo.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuthetha ngokungafihlisiyo kunye nokungafihlisiyo malunga neminqweno ephikisanayo kunokukhokelela ekwahlukaneni okuyimfuneko.

Kodwa ukuthetha ngokuphandle kwiimfuno zesondo kubhetele kuye wonke umntu obandakanyekayo kunokukhohlisa iqabane lakho kunye nokwaphula imithetho eyamkelweyo bobudlelwane.

4. Amadoda ngamanye amaxesha anesifo sokusondelelana

IGREG GRIFFIN, MA, BCPC

UMcebisi woMfundisi

Yintoni omele uyijonge emadodeni akopa? Nayiphi na imiqondiso yendoda yakho isokolana nemicimbi yokusondelelana inokuba yiflegi ebomvu.

Amadoda ayaqhatha ngenxa yokuba enesifo sokusondelelana, nokuba ayenza ukukopa kwi-Intanethi okanye ngobuqu.

Ngokuqinisekileyo abazi ukuba babuze njani ubuhlobo obusondeleyo (hayi isini NGOKUPHELELEYO), okanye ukuba bayabuza, abazi ukuba benze njani ngendlela edibanisa nowasetyhini, ophendula ukuba kutheni amadoda ekopa.

Ke, indoda emva koko ikhangela indawo enexabiso eliphantsi yokuthomalalisa iimfuno zayo kunye neminqweno yokuthandana.

5. Amadoda ayaqhatha kuba ekhetha

UGqr. LAWANDA N. EVANS, LPC, NCC

UMcebisi

Kutheni le nto amadoda atshatileyo enemicimbi? Akukho nto "yenza" amadoda akhohlise kumaqabane awo, amadoda akhohlise ngenxa yokuba ekhetha.

Ukukopa kukukhetha, uya kukhetha ukukwenza okanye ukhethe ukungakwenzi.

Ukukopa kukubonisa imiba engasonjululwanga engakhange isetyenzwe, isithuba esingazalisekanga, kunye nokungakwazi ukuzibophelela ngokupheleleyo kubudlelwane kunye neqabane lakhe.

Indoda ukukopela emfazini ayisiyonto eyenzekayo, lukhetho olwenziwe yindoda. Akukho nkcazo ichanekileyo yokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa.

6. Amadoda ayaqhatha ngenxa yokuzingca

AMANZI OLWANDLE, MS, O.M.C

UMcebisi woMfundisi

Phezulu, zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa.

Njenge: "Ingca iluhlaza," uziva unqweneleka, uloyiso loloyiso, ukuziva ubanjisiwe, ukungonwabi, njl.

Ukuzingca okubethelela ukuzibophelela, ukuthembeka kwesimilo kunye nokuhlonipha omnye ngaphezulu kwesiqu sakho.

7. Amadoda ayaqhatha ngenxa yokungabikho koxabiso

UROBERT TAIBBI, uLCSW

Unontlalontle wezonyango

Ngelixa kukho izizathu ezininzi ezichaziweyo, umxholo omnye obalekela amadoda kukusilela koxabiso kunye nokuqwalaselwa.

Amadoda amaninzi aziva ukuba asebenza nzima kwiintsapho zawo, azifaka ngaphakathi iimvakalelo zawo, anokuziva ukuba enze okuninzi kwaye akafumani ngokwaneleyo, kodwa oku kuyachaza, kutheni amadoda ekopa.

Umcimbi unika ithuba lokufumana ukunconywa, ukuvunywa, ingqalelo entsha, ukuzibona ngokutsha komnye umntu.

8. Amadoda afuna uthando nokuhoywa

UDANA JULIAN, MFT

Iingcali zonyango

Kukho izizathu ezimbalwa, kutheni amadoda ekopa kodwa eyona inamathelayo kum, amadoda anomdla wokumamela. Kubudlelwane ukukopela kukhulisa intloko yaso embi xa kukho ukunqongophala kwemvakalelo yokuthandwa kunye nokuxabiseka.

Amaxesha ngamaxesha, ngakumbi ngokukhawuleza kwethu okukhawulezayo, ukukhawuleza, uluntu, izibini zixakekile kangangokuba zilibale ukukhathalelana.

Incoko zijolise kulungiselelo, "ngubani ozolanda abantwana namhlanje," "Ungalibali ukutyikitya amaphepha ebhanki," njl.

Ukuba baziva bengahoywanga, bexhatshazwa, okanye bekrokreleka rhoqo baya kukhangela umntu ophulaphulayo, ayeke kwaye abancome kwaye ibenza bazive bonwabile, ngokuchaseneyo nendlela ababeziva ngayo kunye neqabane labo, ukusilela.

Amadoda kunye nemicimbi yeemvakalelo iyahambelana xa kukho ukunqongophala kwengqwalaselo kwiqabane.

Ukukopa ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane lakho, nangona kunjalo, luhlobo lokukhohlisa.

9. Amadoda afuna ukuziphulula

UADA GONZALEZ, uLMFT

Ingcali yoSapho

Kutheni amadoda ekopa? Esona sizathu sixhaphakileyo kukunganqabiseki kobuqu obudala isidingo esikhulu sokubanjwa kwe-ego yabo.

Naluphi na "uloyiso" olutsha lubanika inkohliso yokuba zezona zibalaseleyo, yiyo loo nto amadoda enemicimbi.

Kodwa ngenxa yokuba isekwe kukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle, umzuzu wokunqoba izikhalazo ezimalunga nantoni na, amathandabuzo abuyile ngempindezelo kwaye kufuneka akhangele uloyiso olutsha, yiyo loo nto amadoda ekopa.

Ngaphandle, ubonakala ekhuselekile kwaye enekratshi. Kodwa kunjalo ukungazithembi okumqhubayo.

10. Amadoda ayaphoxeka kwimitshato yawo

DEBBIE MCFADDEN, D.MIN, MSW

UMcebisi

Kutheni le nto amadoda atshatileyo ekopa?

Amaxesha amaninzi amadoda ayakhohlisa kubafazi bawo kuba sele edikibile emtshatweni wawo.

Babecinga ukuba xa betshatile, ubomi buza kuba mnandi. Baza kuba kunye namaqabane abo kwaye bakwazi ukuthetha konke abakufunayo kwaye babelane ngesondo xa befuna kwaye bahlala kwihlabathi elingenakubalwa kunye.

Nangona kunjalo, baqala ukwenza ubomi kunye nomsebenzi, uxanduva lwezezimali kunye nokuba nabantwana. Ngokukhawuleza ulonwabo luye.

Kubonakala ngathi yonke into imalunga nomsebenzi kunye nokukhathalela abanye abantu kunye neemfuno zabo. Kuthekani "ngeemfuno zam!" Kungenxa yoko le nto amadoda atshatileyo ekopa. Amadoda aba nomona ngaba bancinci endlwini abatya lonke ixesha lamaqabane abo.

Kubonakala ngathi ayifuni okanye ayimlangazeleli kwakhona. Yonke into ayenzayo kukukhathalela abantwana, ebaleka nabo yonke indawo kwaye engamnikeli ngqalelo.

Kutheni amadoda ekopa?

Kungenxa yokuba baqala ukukhangela kwenye indawo loo mntu uya kubanika into abayifunayo, bobabini- ukumamela kunye nokuncoma isini. Baphantsi kokucingelwa ukuba omnye umntu unakho kwaye uya kuzanelisa iimfuno zabo kwaye abenze bonwabe.

Bakholelwa ukuba ayixhomekekanga kubo kodwa ixhomekeke komnye umntu ukubenza bazive bethandwa kwaye befunwa. Ngapha koko, “bafanele ukonwaba!”

11. Amadoda ayaqhatha ukuba anakho ukuba likhoboka lesini

EDDIE CAPPARUCCI, MA, LPC, CCSAS UMGQatswa

UMcebisi

Kutheni le nto amadoda ekopela kubafazi bawo?

Zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni amadoda esenza ukungathembeki. Umkhwa othile esiwubonileyo kule minyaka ingama-20 idlulileyo ibikukunyuka kwenani lamadoda athe afunyaniswa enesifo sokwabelana ngesondo.

Aba bantu basebenzisa gwenxa isondo ukuze baziphazamise kuxinzelelo lweemvakalelo okuhlala kusisiphumo sengozi eyenzekileyo okanye ukungakhathalelwa.

Bazabalaza ukuba bazive beqinisekisiwe okanye benqwenelwa kwaye le yingcaciso yokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa.

Bahlala benemvakalelo yokuba buthathaka kunye nokujongela phantsi kwaye phantse zonke ziyasokola ngokwazi ukunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo nabanye.

Izenzo zabo ezingalunganga ziqhutywa kukuqhutywa yimpembelelo kunye nokungakwazi kokubeka gwenxa isimilo sabo.

Amadoda afumana ingcebiso malunga neziyobisi ngokwesondo afunda ukuba kutheni bexhaphaza isondo- kubandakanya ukukopela- kwaye olo lwazi lunokujongana nezothuso zangaphambili kwaye bafunde ukunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo namaqabane abo ngendlela esempilweni ngoko ke kunciphisa ngokubonakalayo ukungathembeki kwixa elizayo.

12. Amadoda anqwenela ukuzonwabisa

I-EVA SADOWSKI RPC, MFA, RN

UMcebisi

Kutheni abantu bekhohlisa abantu ababathandayo?

Ngomnqweno wokuzonwabisa kunye nolonwabo, ukuthatha umngcipheko, ukufuna ulonwabo.

Xa amadoda ekopela aphuncuka kwisiqhelo kunye nokuqaqamba kobomi bemihla ngemihla; ubomi phakathi komsebenzi, ukuhamba, impelaveki ekruqulayo nabantwana, phambi kweseti yeTV, okanye ikhompyuter.

Indlela yokuphuma eluxanduva, uxanduva, kunye nendima ethile abayinikiweyo okanye yamkelwe ngokwabo. Le mpendulo kutheni amadoda ekopa.

13. Amadoda ayaqhatha ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo

UDAVID O. SAENZ, Ph.D., EDM, LLC

Ingcali yeengqondo

Okokuqala, kufuneka siqonde ukuba kukho umahluko phakathi kokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa:

  • Ezahlukeneyo
  • Ukukruquka
  • Imincili yokuzingela / ingozi yomtshato
  • Amanye amadoda awazi ukuba kutheni enyanzelekile
  • Akukho khowudi yokuziphatha yomtshato
  • Ukuqhuba ngaphakathi / imfuno yokuqwalaselwa (imfuno yokuqwalaselwa ingaphezulu kwesiqhelo)

Izizathu ezenziwa ngamadoda zokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa ziya kukunceda uqonde izimvo zamadoda kwimicimbi:

  • Umlingane wabo unesondo esisezantsi / akanamdla kwisini
  • Uyawa umtshato
  • Andonwabanga ngamaqabane abo
  • Iqabane labo ayinguye lowo babekade beyiyo
  • Utyebe kakhulu
  • Umfazi nags kakhulu uzama ukumtshintsha okanye "uyibhola-buster"
  • Ukwabelana ngesondo okungcono nomntu obaqonda ngcono
  • I-chemistry ihambile
  • Ukusuka kwimbono yendaleko- zazingayelelwanga ukuba zodwa
  • Lulusu nje kulusu- ulwabelana ngesondo nosana
  • Kungenxa yokuba baziva benelungelo / banako

Ekupheleni kosuku, nangona kunjalo, nokuba amaqabane abo awanyamezeleki kumanqanaba amaninzi, kukho iindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokujongana nomcimbi.

Eyona nto iphambili kukuba umfazi angenza indoda ikhohlise malunga nokuba ingamenza ukuba ayisebenzise gwenxa utywala okanye iziyobisi- ayisebenzi ngale ndlela.

14. Abantu bayaqhatha ngenxa yobumnyama beentliziyo zabo

U-ERIC GOMEZ, MS LMFT

UMcebisi

Kutheni le nto abantu benemicimbi?

Esinye sezizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuba amadoda akhohlise kumaqabane abo abeka ebumnyameni entliziyweni nasengqondweni, apho kubandakanya khona inkanuko, ikratshi, ukulukuhla komtshato, kunye noxinzelelo lomntu kunye neqabane lakhe okanye ubomiNgokubanzi, zibenza ukuba bathembeke ngokungathembeki.

15. Amadoda ukukopela ukuphepha, inkcubeko, ixabiso

ILISA FOGEL, i-LCSW-R

Ingcali yengqondo

Kutheni amadoda enemicimbi?

Akukho namnye uchazayo into emisela ukungathembeki.

Nangona kunjalo, ezi ndawo zintathu zidweliswe apha ngezantsi zizinto ezomeleleyo ezisebenza ngokudibeneyo ezinokuthi zichonge ukuba ngaba umntu wenza ukhetho lokukhohlisa amaqabane abo.

Ukuphepha: uloyiko lokujonga indlela esiziphethe ngayo kunye nokukhetha kwethu. Ukuziva unamathele okanye ungaqinisekanga ngento oza kuyenza kubonisa uloyiko lokwenza ukhetho olwahlukileyo.

Ngokwenkcubeko: Ukuba uluntu, abazali, okanye ubunkokheli ekuhlaleni buyakuvumela ukungathembeki njengexabiso apho singasayi kukubona ukukopa njengokuziphatha okungalunganga.

IxabisoUkuba sibona ukugcina umtshato njengexabiso elibalulekileyo (ngaphandle kwempatho-gadalala) siyakuvuleka kwaye sikulungele ukwenza ukhetho olutsha olusebenzayo ekugcineni umtshato.

Ezi zizathu ezichaza ukuba kutheni amadoda ekopela.

16. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa amaqabane awo engekho

UJULIE BINDEMAN, PSY-D

Ingcali yeengqondo

Kutheni le nto amadoda ekopela amantombazana okanye abafazi bawo?

Amadoda (okanye abafazi) bayakhohlisa xa amaqabane abo engafumaneki kubo.

Omabini la maqabane asengozini ikakhulu ngexesha lohambo lokuzala kubandakanya ukulahleka okanye imiceli mngeni yokuzala, ngakumbi ukuba iindlela zabo zosizi ziyahluka ixesha elide.

Ubuthathaka obuza kukuba kutheni abantu bekhohlisa.

17. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa kukho ukuswela ulwalamano

NGU-JAKE MYRES, LMFT

Umtshato kunye neNyanga yoSapho

Kutheni amadoda ekopa? Kungenxa yokusondelelana.

Ukukopa sisiphumo sokungabikho kobuhlobo emtshatweni.

Ukusondelelana kunokuba ngumceli mngeni, kodwa ukuba indoda ayiziva ngokupheleleyo "ibonwe" kubudlelwane bayo, okanye ingazichazi iimfuno zayo, inokumshiya eziva engenanto, elilolo, enomsindo kwaye engathandwa.

Usenokufuna ukufezekisa loo mfuno ngaphandle kolwalamano.

Yindlela yakhe yokuthi "omnye umntu uyandibona kunye nexabiso lam kwaye uyaziqonda iimfuno zam, ke ndizakufumana into endiyifunayo nendiyifunayo phaya".

18. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa kukho ukungabikho kokunconywa

ILAYI YEKHRAYITHI, I-LGSW

UMcebisi

Kutheni le nto amadoda ekopa kwaye exoka?

Esona sizathu siqhelekileyo sesi.

Ndiyabona ukuba kutheni amadoda ejonge ngaphandle kobudlelwane bobuhlobo kukungabikho kokunconywa kunye nokwamkelwa liqabane labo.

Kungenxa yokuba bathambekele ekusekeni imvakalelo yokuzijonga ngokwabo kwindlela abantu abakwigumbi abajonga ngayo; Ihlabathi langaphandle lisebenza njengesipili sokuzixabisa. Ke ukuba indoda ifumana ukungamkelwa, ukujongela phantsi, okanye ukuphoxeka ekhaya, bazifaka ngaphakathi ezo mvakalelo.

Ke xa umntu ongaphandle kobudlelwane emva koko ebonisana nezo mvakalelo, ebonisa "ukubonakaliswa" okwahlukileyo kwindoda, indoda ihlala itsaleleka kuloo nto.

Kwaye ukuzibona kukukhanya okukhuthazayo, kulungile, kuhlala kunzima kakhulu ukumelana nako.

19. Amadoda ukukopela ukunyuka kwamaxabiso e-ego

UKHARA MCKINNEY, LMFT

Umtshato kunye nonyango losapho

Kutheni abantu abonwabileyo bekopa?

Ndiyayikholelwa lo nto amanye amadoda akhohlisa ukunyuka kwamaxabiso kwi-ego. Kuziva kumnandi ukuthathelwa ingqalelo kwaye kunomdla kwabanye, ngelishwa nangaphandle komtshato.

Inokwenza indoda izive inamandla kwaye iheha. Oku kuya kwenzakalisa umntu obathandayo. Oku kubuhlungu kodwa sisizathu esixelayo ukuba kutheni amadoda ekopa

20. Ukungathembeki kulwaphulo-mthetho lwamathuba

TREY COLE, PSY D

Ingcali yeengqondo

Kutheni amadoda ekopa?

Ngelixa kukho izizathu ezininzi ezinokuthi zichaze ukuba kutheni amadoda ekopa kumaqabane awo, Esinye sezizathu eziqhelekileyo kukuba 'lulwaphulo-mthetho' lwamathuba.

Ukunganyaniseki akuthethi ukuba kukho into engalunganga kubudlelwane; Endaweni yoko, kubonisa ukuba kubudlelwane kukhetho lwemihla ngemihla.

21. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa esiva ukuba umfazi wawo akonwabanga

IITERRA BRUNS, CSI

Ingcali yezolwalamano

Ndiyakholelwa ukuba amadoda ayaqhatha kuba amadoda aphilela ukonwabisa abafazi bawo, kwaye xa bengasaziva ukuba bayaphumelela, bafuna umfazi omtsha onokuthi onwabe.

Akulunganga, ewe, kodwa kuyinyani ukuba kutheni amadoda ekopa.

22. Amadoda aqhatha njengento engekhoyo ngokweemvakalelo

UKUTSHISWA KWENKENZO, LCSW

UMcebisi

Kumava am, abantu bayakopa kuba kukho into engekhoyo. Eyona nto iphambili kwiimvakalelo umntu ayifunayo engafezekiswa.

Nokuba kusuka kubudlelwane, obuqheleke ngakumbi, kwaye umntu uza kunye nokuzalisa loo mfuno.

Kodwa inokuba yinto elahlekileyo ngaphakathi emntwini.

Umzekelo, Umntu ongakhange afumane ngqwalaselo ininzi kwiminyaka yabo yobutsha uziva kamnandi xa befumana ingqalelo ekhethekileyo okanye uboniswa umdla. Yiyo loo nto amanye amadoda ekopa.

23. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa engaziva enexabiso

STEVEN STEWART, MS, NCC

UMcebisi

Ngelixa kukho amadoda athile anelungelo lokuxhamla, angawahloneli amaqabane awo kwaye evakalelwa kukuba angenza nantoni na ayifunayo, amava am kukuba amadoda ayakhohlisa ikakhulu kuba engaziva exabisekile.

Oku kunokuza ngeendlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo, ewe, ngokusekwe kumntu. Abanye abantu banokuziva bexabisekile ukuba amaqabane abo akathethi nabo, bachitha ixesha nabo, okanye bathathe inxaxheba kwizinto zokuzonwabisa nabo.

Abanye banokuziva bengaxabisekanga xa amaqabane abo eyeka ukulala nawo rhoqo. Okanye ukuba amaqabane abo abonakala exakeke kakhulu ngobomi, indlu, abantwana, umsebenzi, njl.njl.

Kodwa isisiseko sayo yonke loo nto yingqondo yokuba indoda ayinamsebenzi, loo nto akaxabiswanga kwaye iqabane lakhe alisamxabisi.

Oku kubangela ukuba amadoda afune ukuqwalaselwa kwenye indawo, kwaye kwakhona kumava am amaxesha amaninzi yinto yokuqala le Ukufuna ingqalelo komnye (oko kusoloko kubhekiswa kuko njengokuthandana "ngokweemvakalelo") oko ke kukhokelela kwisini kamva ("kwinto epheleleyo").

Ke ukuba awubeki phambili kwindoda yakho, kwaye ungamenzi azive exabisekile, ke akufuneki umangaliswe xa efuna ingqalelo kwenye indawo.

24. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa engakwazi ukunxibelelana nawo

AMANQAKU GLOVER, MA, LMFT

UMcebisi

Kutheni amadoda ukukopela kungenxa yabo ukungakwazi ukunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo nomntwana wabo wangaphakathi owenzakeleyo ofuna ukukhuliswa kwaye baqinisekisa ukuba banele kwaye bafanele ukuthandwa ngenxa nje yexabiso labo kunye nokuxabiseka kwabo.

Ukusukela ukuba balwa nale mbono yokuxabiseka bayaqhubeka nokusukela iinjongo ezingafikelelekiyo kwaye basuka komnye umntu baye kolandelayo.

Ndicinga ukuba le nto inye isebenza nakwabasetyhini abaninzi.

25. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa eneemfuno angahlangatyezwa

KWI-PAULS YOKWENZA, MA, RP

Ingcali yengqondo

Andicingi ukuba kukho isizathu esiqhelekileyo sokuba kutheni amadoda ekopela kuba wonke umntu wahlukile kwaye imeko yabo yahlukile.

Kwenzeka ntoni emitshatweni ukudala iingxaki, ezinje ngokuthandana, kukuba abantu bazive bekhutshiwe ngokwasemoyeni kumaqabane abo kwaye andazi ukuba zifezekiswa njani iimfuno zabo ngendlela esempilweni ke bajonge ezinye iindlela zokufezekisa.

26. Amadoda ayaphoswa kukunconywa, ukunconywa nokufunwa

UKATHERINE MAZZA, LMHC

Ingcali yengqondo

Kutheni amadoda ekopela kungenxa yokuba akanalo olona luvo lubatsalele kubudlelwane bexesha elide abakuyo.

Malunga neenyanga ezi-6 ukuya kwezi-18, ayisiyonto ingaqhelekanga ukuba le ndoda "iwe kwisiseko" njengoko inyani iseka, kwaye imiceli mngeni yobomi iba yinto ephambili.

Abantu, hayi nje amadoda, ngasendleleni, bayaliphosa eli nqanaba lifutshane kwaye libukhali. Le mvakalelo, edlala kukuzithemba kunye nokuncitshiswa kwangaphambi kokuncamathela, ichasene nakho konke ukungazithembi kunye nokuzithemba.

Ingena nzulu kwi-psyche kwaye ihlala apho ilinde ukuvuselelwa. Ngelixa iqabane elide linokubonelela ngezinye iimvakalelo ezibalulekileyo, phantse akunakwenzeka ukuphinda-phinda lo mnqweno wokuqala ungoneliseki.

Kunye kuza umntu ongamaziyo, onokuthi kwangoko enze le mvakalelo.

Isilingo ekuguqulweni okugcweleyo sinokubetha ngamandla, ngakumbi xa umntu engaphakanyiswa liqabane lakhe rhoqo.

27. Amadoda ayaqhatha xa eziva engaziwa

UVICKI BOTNICK, MFT

Umcebisi kunye nengcali yengqondo

Akukho sizathu sinye sokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa, kodwa umsonto omnye oqhelekileyo unento yokwenza nokuziva ungaxatyiswanga kwaye ayikhathalelwanga ngokwaneleyo kubudlelwane.

Abantu abaninzi baziva ingoyena mntu wenza owona msebenzi mkhulu kubudlelwane, kwaye umsebenzi awubonwa okanye umvuzo.

Xa siziva ngathi yonke imizamo yethu ayamkelwa, kwaye asazi ukuba singazinika njani uthando kunye nothando esiludingayo, sijonga ngaphandle.

Isithandwa esitsha sithanda ukuncoma kwaye sigxile kuzo zonke ezona mpawu zethu zibalaseleyo, kwaye oku kuhambisa ukwamkelwa esikulangazelelayo — ukuvunywa okusilelayo kumaqabane ethu nakuthi.

28. Iimeko ezahlukeneyo apho amadoda akhohlisayo

UMARIYA KAY COCHARO, LMFT

Isibini ngonyango

Akukho mpendulo zilula kulo mbuzo wokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa kuba indoda nganye inezizathu zayo kwaye imeko nganye yahlukile.

Kwakhona, ngokuqinisekileyo kukho umahluko phakathi kwendoda ethi ibanjiswe yimicimbi emininzi, ukuba likhoboka le-porn, imicimbi ye-cyber, okanye ukulala noonongogo kunye nendoda ethandana nomntu osebenza naye.

Izizathu zokulutha ngokwesondo zibethelelwe emngciphekweni, ngelixa amadoda ahlala enemicimbi engatshatanga akhankanya ukungabikho kwento abayifunayo kubudlelwane babo bokuqala.

Ngamanye amaxesha bayaphoswa sisondo esithandayo, kodwa rhoqo, baxela ukuba abazive bebonwa okanye bethandwa ngabafazi babo. Abasetyhini bayazixakekisa, baqhube amakhaya, basebenze kwimisebenzi yethu, kwaye bakhulise abantwana.

Ekhaya, amadoda axela oko bahlala beziva bengakhathalelwanga kwaye bethathelwa phezulu. Kwimeko yokuba nesizungu, banokuchaphazeleka ekuqwalaselweni nasekudumiseni umntu omtsha.

Emsebenzini, bajongiwe, baziva benamandla kwaye kufanelekile kwaye banokuhlakulela ubudlelwane nomntu obhinqileyo okubonayo oko.

29. Iinjongo zangoku zothando ngunobangela wokungathembeki

UMARCIE SCRANTON, MA, LMFT

Ingcali yengqondo

Kutheni amadoda ekopela kungenxa yokuba ujoliso lwethu lwangoku kwiminqweno yothando ngokwenyani kukuseta ukungathembeki.

Xa ubudlelwane buye baphulukana nobukhazikhazi bokuqala, akuqhelekanga ukunqwenela inkanuko, ukonwaba ngokwesondo, kunye nokunxibelelana okuhle nomnye owayekhona xa beqala.

Abo bayiqondayo kwaye bayithembe indaleko yothando olukhoyo kubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo kunqabile ukuba bazifumane befuna ukukhohlisa.

30. Amadoda afuna izinto ezintsha

JIKELELE SCHOENEWOLF. Ph.D

Ingqondo yengqondo

“Uphando lwakutsha nje lubonisa ukuba amadoda nabafazi bayakopa ukuya kwinqanaba elifanayo. Isizathu esiqhelekileyo Kutheni amadoda ekopela kukufuna izinto ezintsha.

Isizathu esiqhelekileyo abafazi ukukopela kungenxa yokukhathazeka kulwalamano lwabo.”

Ezi ziqwenga zeengcebiso eziluncedo ziya kunceda abasetyhini ekuchongeni izizathu zokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa kwaye mhlawumbi ubanike ukuqonda malunga nendlela amadoda acinga ngayo kunye nento abanokuyenza ukubathintela ekukhohliseni.