Umxholo
- Umxholo womlo wesibini awubalulekanga kunenkqubo
- Ukuqinisekisa
- Iindlela ezimbalwa zokuziphatha:
- Ndlongondlongo
- Iindlela ezimbalwa zokuziphatha:
- Ukunyanzela
- Ukuzithoba
- Ulawulo
- Iindlela ezimbalwa zokuziphatha:
- Ukuqala inkqubo yonxibelelwano olungcono
Esinye sezona zikhalazo zixhaphakileyo ezibonakaliswa zizibini kukuba abanxibelelani. Kodwa inyani mayixelwe, ayisiyiyo le yokuba banxibelelana, bayenza ngeendlela ezingasebenziyo nezingalunganga.
Baxhoma amatye, bakhombe umnwe kwaye babaluleke kakhulu kumaqabane abo okanye kumaqabane abo. Abaphulaphuli. Beva ukuba baziphendulele. Bayabambeka kwiincoko ezijikelezayo ezingahambi naphi na ezishiya umntu ngamnye ekhathazekile, ediniwe, kwaye engenantlonelo, eziva ethe kratya kwiqabane okanye iqabane lakhe.
Izandi ziqheleke kakhulu, akunjalo?
Umxholo womlo wesibini awubalulekanga kunenkqubo
Abantu bakholelwa ukuba ngumxholo (imali, isondo, umsebenzi wasekhaya) xa eneneni ziipateni eziqhubeka nokuziphindaphinda kaninzi, zidibene nokungabikho kothando kunye nentlonipho abaziva ngayo.
Ukutyhila izibini zeepateni zonxibelelwano ezendeleyo, isimbo sabo sonxibelelwano siqwalaselwa kuqala.
Sivavanya ukuba yenziwe njani kwaye yaqiniswa njani isimbo sabo. Ke, utshintsho lokuqala luza kuqala ekuqondeni isitayile somntu ngamnye kunye nokubanceda ukuba babone isimbo sabo. Emva koko, banokuqala ukubandakanya izakhono ezisempilweni kunye nezicwangciso zokwenza iincoko ezahlukeneyo eziza kuthi ekugqibeleni zisombulule imicimbi yabo kwaye zibenze 'bangabikho.'
Sithini isitayile sakho sonxibelelwano?
Ukuqinisekisa
Olu hlobo lonxibelelwano lusekwe ekubeni nokuzithemba okusempilweni kunye nokuzithemba okuphezulu.
Yeyona ndlela isebenzayo yokunxibelelana. Yindlela abantu abanqwenela ukuba nayo, nangona iyeyona ixhaphakileyo. Umntu uyakwazi ukusebenzisa ilizwi labo ngeendlela ezifanelekileyo, ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo, ithoni, kunye nokunyusa.
Banokuzithemba ekunxibelelaneni ngeendlela eziya kuthi zifumane umyalezo wabo ngaphandle kokuya kwimidlalo yengqondo okanye ubuqhetseba. Bayakwazi ukuseta imida esempilweni kwaye efanelekileyo kwaye abavumeli ukuba batyhalelwe ngaphaya kwemida yabo ngenxa yokuba umntu efuna into kubo.
Iindlela ezimbalwa zokuziphatha:
- Fezekisa iinjongo ngaphandle kokulimaza abanye
- Ziyathetha ngokwasekuhlaleni nangokweemvakalelo
- Zenzele ukhetho kwaye uthathe uxanduva ngazo, ezilungileyo okanye ezimbi
- Zithe ngqo kunxibelelwano
Ndlongondlongo
Le ndlela yokunxibelelana imalunga nokuphumelela, rhoqo ngeendleko zomnye umntu.
Benza ngokungathi iimfuno zabo zibaluleke ngakumbi kwaye bavumela omnye umntu ukuba azi. Baziva ngathi banamalungelo amaninzi kwaye banegalelo ngakumbi kulwalamano. Ukungancedi kwesi sitayile kukuba ayisiyongxaki kuphela, kodwa ngenxa yokuba zininzi izinto ezigqithileyo, umntu okwifomathi yokuxakeka uxakeke kakhulu ekuphenduleni indlela umyalezo uhanjiswa ngayo.
Iindlela ezimbalwa zokuziphatha:
- Ufuna ukuphumelela ngayo nayiphi na indleko okanye ngeendleko zomnye umntu
- Ukuzibaxa izinto, boyikisa, banomsindo kwaye banobutshaba kwabanye
- Ukufuna, ukuba krwada kunye nokuxhaphaza
- Abangasebenzisani, banomsindo kwaye banempindezelo
Ukunyanzela
Le yindlela yokunxibelelana apho abantu 'banoburharha'. Ababelani ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngokwenene. Zibonakala ngathi azihambi nje, kodwa eneneni zenza umsindo wazo ngeendlela ezingangqalanga, zisebenza ngasemva.
Baziva benenzondo kwaye bengenamandla kwaye baziveze ezi mvakalelo ngeendlela ezichuliweyo kwaye ziyisingela phantsi into ebacaphukisayo. Oku kuhlala kukhokelela ekuzonakaliseni. Iindlela zokuziphatha ezimbalwa eziphambili:
- Ngqo ngqo
- I-Sarcastic, inkohliso kunye nokuxhasa
- Ukuhleba
- Ukungathembeki, ubuqhetseba kunye nobuso obubini
Ukuzithoba
Olu hlobo lonxibelelwano lujolise ekukholiseni abanye ngokungakhathali.
Bayayiphepha ingxabano kwaye babeke iimfuno zabanye phambi kwezabo ngokungathi iimfuno zomnye umntu zibaluleke ngakumbi. Bakholelwa into abanayo yokubonelela ngeepali xa kuthelekiswa nento abanokuyinikela kwaye banegalelo kulwalamano. Iindlela ezimbalwa zokuziphatha:
- Fumana ubunzima ekuthatheni uxanduva ngezigqibo
- Phuma kuyo
- Uziva ngathi ulixhoba, usole abanye
- Isichazi, yala izincomo
- Thintela ukungqubana nokuxolisa kakhulu kwaye ngokungafanelekanga
Ulawulo
Olu hlobo lonxibelelwano luyabalwa, luyacetywa, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha luchuliwe. Bangabaphathi abanobuchule abanempembelelo ekuphembeleleni nasekulawuleni abanye abantu kwaye basebenzise oku kulunge kubo.
Cinga ngemvu enxibe iingcuka. Umyalezo wabo ophantsi ufihliwe ngamazwi abo athethiweyo, eshiya umntu edidekile kwaye engazi.
Iindlela ezimbalwa zokuziphatha:
- Ubuqhetseba, kwaye usebenzise iinyembezi ezingezizo
- Buza ngokungangqalanga kwiimfuno ekufuneka kuhlangatyezwane nazo
- Unobuchule ekuphembeleleni okanye ekulawuleni abanye kwinzuzo yabo
- Yenza abanye bazive benyanzelekile okanye bazisizele
Ukuqala inkqubo yonxibelelwano olungcono
Enye yeendlela zokuqala inkqubo yonxibelelwano olungcono kukusebenzisa ingxelo kaJohn Gottman yeXYZ. Isebenza ngolu hlobo, 'xa usenza u-X kwimeko Y, ndiziva Z. Umzekelo ngexesha lokwenyani unokuba yinto enje. “Xa sithetha ngombandela othile, uze undiphazamise okanye undinqumle phakathi kwisivakalisi, ndiziva ndingento yanto kwaye ndizolile.
Kule mzekelo (eyenzeka rhoqo kwizibini) awuxeleli umntu ukuba wenzani, endaweni yokuba uziva njani. Ukwenza oku kunceda ukunciphisa ukubakho komlo osonyukayo kwaye kunceda umntu ngamnye ukuba anciphise amandla ukuze bacinge malunga noko bakucingayo kwaye bavakalise iingcinga zabo ngendlela enenjongo nenjongo.
Omnye umntu ufunda ukumamela kwaye ayive into ethethwa ngomnye umntu ayiphinde. Umntu ngamnye unethuba lokuqinisekisa kwaye acacise eyona nto ithethwayo ngomnye umntu hayi le ucinga ukuba kuyathethwa- njengoko le yingxaki eqhelekileyo.
Indima yam njengomgqirha ikwangomlamli kunye nothethathethwano.
Ayisiyiyo kuphela ukuba ndimamele ngenyameko, kodwa ndibuye ndibuyisele umva kumntu ngamnye le ndiyivayo ukuba icacile. Amaqabane eza kunyango kuba ulwalamano lwabo luye lwaphazamiseka. Bayayiqonda kwinqanaba elithile, ukuba nantoni na abayenzayo, ayisebenzi. Bayabona ukuba bafuna uncedo ukubuyisela ubudlelwane babo kwindawo efanelekileyo.
Kulungile kubo.
Ke, kunyanzelekile ukuba unyango lungabancedi kuphela ekwenzeni oku kodwa luqinisekise ukuba abaphindi iipateni njengoko beqhubeka ngenkqubo yonyango. Indima yam njengomgqirha ikwangomlamli kunye nothethathethwano. Ayisiyiyo kuphela ukuba ndimamele ngenyameko, kodwa ndibuye ndibonakalise umntu ngamnye oko ndikuvayo ukucacisa.
Ngaba kukho nasiphi na isandi esiqhelekileyo? Ukutshintsha indlela yakho yonxibelelwano kunye nokuthatha amanyathelo okufunda indlela yokunxibelelana ngcono, kubalulekile ekomelezeni ubudlelwane bakho kunye nokugcina kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane bakho ngendlela esempilweni!