Umxholo
- 1. Ukubanjwa ecaleni
- 2. Ukusetyenziswa
- 3. Hayi kakhulu
- 4. Iinkolelo zesini kunye nosolusapho
- 5. Ubudenge bomntwana
Amadoda aziva ngathi akhelwe ukulawula kwaye xa benikela ngesisa sabo kumabhinqa ambalwa akhethiweyo, balindele umbulelo omninzi ngembuyekezo. Xa lo mbulelo unganikwanga kubo ke umfanekiso wobudoda la madoda aziqhenyayo uyaqhekeka, yiyo loo nto esenza ukuba amadoda azithiye zonke iziganeko zokwaliwa.
Njengabafana, ukwaliwa kukusilela kobudoda babo kwaye xa oku kusenzeka, amadoda athanda ukuba ndlongondlongo kwaye amgcobe umcinezeli. Xa umfazi elahla indoda, uziva engabalulekanga kwaye engathandwa. Iqala ukuba yeyakho kuba amadoda athanda ukukholelwa ekubeni enqatshiwe ngenxa yokungoneliseki, nangona kunjalo, inzondo abantu abayivayo ngokuchaswa ayisekelwanga kwaphela kukhuseleko lwabo.
Ezinye izizathu zokuba kutheni amadoda ekuthiyile ukwaliwa zichazwe apha ngezantsi. Qhubeka ufunda ukuze ufumane.
1. Ukubanjwa ecaleni
Amadoda ayakucaphukela ukwaliwa kuba kunokuba yinto engenakuqondakala kwaye kunzima ukuyilungisa ngenxa yokuba yonke into ekhokelele kwesi sigqibo icebise ngenye indlela.
Abanye abantu basetyhini ngokungazi bakhokela abafana ngokubanika iimpendulo ezingathandabuzekiyo, kunye ne-innuendos ezinokubenza bazive ngathi onke amakhadi asetafileni kwaye ukubacela ngaphandle linyathelo nje elisemthethweni ekufuneka belithathile. Nangona kunjalo, xa besiva impendulo "Ndiyaxolisa, andiboni nto ngaphezu kwabahlobo" baya kucaphuka okubenza basabele ngomsindo.
Ukufumana okugobele ngolu hlobo kunokuba nzima kakhulu kwabanye abantu ukuba baphathe kwaye oku kubangela ukuba baphendule umva ngobuncinci, umsindo, kunye namazwi ahlabayo.
2. Ukusetyenziswa
Abafana bathambekele ekuthatheni ukwaliwa kakubi kakhulu ukuba baziva ngathi bathe basetyenziswa ngumfazi abambona njengonentombazana enokubakho. Le mvakalelo yokusetyenziswa ixhaphake kakhulu ukuba intombazana iyaqhubeka kwaye yamkela izilumkiso zemali, izipho kunye nezinye izinto ezinamaxabiso iinyanga kwaye emva koko iya phambili ithi hayi xa loo mfo esenza intshukumo yokuqalisa ubudlelwane bezothando. Esi sisenzo esingalunganga esenziwe ngabafazi kuba banika umbono wokuba kunye nabo, bayamvumela umfana ukuba achithe ixesha lakhe, imali kunye nomzamo kubo kwaye bathi hayi ekugqibeleni.
Abafazi, kwelinye icala, kufuneka bazame ukwenza imida yabo icace gca kwindlela abaluqonda ngayo ubudlelwane kunye namadoda kwaye kufuneka bakuphephe ukuphulukana nokuphola kwabo nokuhlambalaza abasetyhini.
3. Hayi kakhulu
Xa iinjongo zokuqala zendoda zokuthetha nentombazana kukudlala nje, sithandane kwaye siqhubeke, kwenza kube lula kakhulu kuye ukuba athi inkunkuma ebusweni bakhe aze amthuke xa egqiba ukuthi hayi.
Ukuba yonke into afuna ukuyenza kukusondelelana kunye nokupasa emva koko akazukuphazamiseka xa engamkelwa; kuba akasenayo nantoni na eza kulahleka. Nangona kunjalo, ngokuchaseneyo, ukuba indoda ibona umfazi njengeqabane lexesha elide kwaye ekulungele ukuzibophelela ngekhe athethe okanye enze nantoni na enokuvala yonke into enokwenzeka; Nokuba uyala kabini okanye kathathu.
4. Iinkolelo zesini kunye nosolusapho
Njengoko kukhankanyiwe apha ngasentla, kwamanye amadoda axelelwa ukuba “hayi” ngumntu wasetyhini kukungahloniphi ubudoda bawo. Oku kubenza ukuba babuze imibuzo enje ngala: "Kutheni ungandihoyi?" "Ngaba uyafuna ukutshata nomfana konke konke?" “Sukuba nexhala, qhubekani nisala abantu abalungileyo kwaye niza kubola endlwini yabazali benu ningatshatanga, imbi kwaye indala.”
Oku kunokuvakala kububudenge, kodwa le yindlela abanye abantu abacinga ngayo nabasabela ngayo xa ubudoda babo busengozini kwaye babekwa emgceni.
Nangona kunjalo, kumadoda anje phaya, ayibubuntwana kwaye incinci ukusabela ngoluhlobo xa intombazana ikwala ngokuthobekileyo nangentlonipho.
5. Ubudenge bomntwana
Esinye sezizathu eziphambili zokuba amadoda angakwazi ukuphatha ukwaliwa kungenxa yezenzo zabo ezingafakwanga kunye neengcinga. Indoda esele ikhulile iyayiqonda kwaye iyayiqonda inyani yokuba ukwaliwa akuthethi ukuba sisiphelo sehlabathi.
Indoda esele ikhulile iya kwenza ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye ngembeko yamkele ukwaliwa kuba iyazi ukuba zininzi iintlanzi ezikhoyo elwandle kwaye iyakufumana enye emfunayo. Indoda evuthiweyo ayizukuthatha le ukwaliwa njengento ecekisekayo kubudoda bayo kwaye, enyanisweni, iya kwenza njengendoda.
Yindoda-mntwana kuphela eya kwenza izinto ngokuzingca nangokwenyelisa kwaye iya kuzama konke okusemandleni ayo ukubetha intombazana nayo yayihlamba izipho kwiveki ephelileyo ngamazwi arhabaxa kakhulu.