Izinto ezili-15 zokwenza xa uMfana engakuhoyi Emva kokuXambulisana

Umbhali: John Stephens
Umhla Wokudalwa: 24 Eyomqungu 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 2 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Izinto ezili-15 zokwenza xa uMfana engakuhoyi Emva kokuXambulisana - I-Psychology
Izinto ezili-15 zokwenza xa uMfana engakuhoyi Emva kokuXambulisana - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Nokuba uyithanda kangakanani indoda yakho, kuya kubakho amaxesha apho ungavumelani naye kwimiba ethile. Oku akutshintshi uthando lwakho ngaye, kodwa ukungavisisani kubudlelwane kukho kuba omabini amaqabane aneengqondo ezahlukeneyo kunye neenkqubo zexabiso.

Ngamanye amaxesha, kwenzeka ntoni emva kwengxabano kungathandeki kuwo omabini amaqela. Wenza ntoni xa umfana engakuhoyi emva kwengxabano? Kuya kubakho iingcinga ezahlukeneyo ezisebenza engqondweni yakho, kwaye kunokuba lucelomngeni ukugqiba.

Kweli nqaku, siza kube sinceda amanenekazi ukuba afumane izizathu ezahlukeneyo zemibuzo enjengale “kutheni engandihoyi nje?”

Ithetha ukuthini into xa umntu ongakuhoyanga emva kwengxabano?

Ayinguye wonke umntu othetha kakhulu emva kwengxabano kuba ukuthula yindlela yabo yokujongana. Kubalulekile ukufumanisa ukuba ngaba kukuziphatha kweqabane lakho kwaye ube nomonde kubo. Kungaba nzima ukujongana nayo, ngakumbi ukuba bubudlelwane obude.


Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyazi ukuba ayiyiyo imeko yabo, kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba udinga ixesha lokuphola kuba ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo kusaqhubeka engqondweni yakhe.

Kwincwadi kaPeter White enesihloko esithi Kutheni amadoda esiya kuthi cwaka, Ungakuhoyi, ungavumi okanye ungabelani ngeemvakalelo zabo.

Utyhila ukuqonda okuninzi okuvumela abantu basetyhini ukuba bazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni entlokweni yendoda yabo xa engabahoyi.

Kutheni engakuhoyi emva kokuxabana?

Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, impikiswano iya kwenzeka kubudlelwane. Ngeli xesha, wena neqabane lakho ninokwenza ngokungathandekiyo komnye nomnye kwaye nizinze kamva.

Nangona kunjalo, xa eyeka ukuthetha nawe kwaye ethatha ixesha elide ukuzinzisa, kuya kufuneka ufumane owona mcimbi uphambili. Kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba akakuhoyi ngesizathu esithile, kwaye kuya kufuneka ube nomonde xa unxibelelana nokusombulula ingxaki kunye naye.

Ngaba abafana abakuhoyi xa benzakele?

Inyani yile, ayingabo bonke abantu abaya kukuhoya xa besenzakele. Wonke umntu unentambo eyahlukileyo; abanye abantu baya kuzimela ngelixa besenzakele, ngelixa abanye begcina umgama wabo.


Ukuba ukhe wawa ngaphambili kubudlelwane bakho, indlela oziphatha ngayo iqabane lakho ngala maxesha sisikhombisi esisemthethweni ukuba abayi kukuhoya xa besentlungwini okanye hayi.

Izizathu ezili-10 zomntu ongakuhoyi emva kwengxabano

Ngaba usandula ukuxabana nomfana wakho, kwaye ubuza ukuba kutheni engandihoyi emva komlo? Xa uqonda isizathu sokuziphatha kwakhe, uya kuyisingatha ngcono imeko kwaye ugcine ubudlelwane bakho.

Nazi ezinye izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba umntu wakho angakuhoyi.

1. Unezinye izibophelelo

Umfana wakho unokungakuhoyi emva kokuwa kwakho kwangoku naye kuba enezinye izibophelelo zokuzimasa.

Nangona eyazi ukuba ukuya kulo mbandela kubudlelwane bakhe kubalulekile, ezo zibophelelo ziya kumnika indawo efunekayo ukuze aphole kwaye acinge ngokufanelekileyo.

Kungangcono ukuba ubunyamezele kuye ngaphandle kokuzisa iingcinga ezinokuphela zikhulisa umba.

2. Ufuna ixesha lokuvavanya imeko

Emva kwako konke ukungavisisani okukhulu, uya kuba nomsindo omnye komnye, kwaye unokuthatha isigqibo sokugcina umgama wakhe ngokungakuhoyi.


Indoda yakho inokucinga ukuba kungcono ukuba ingakuhoyi ukuze ikwazi ukuvavanya imeko ngononophelo ize nesisombululo esithanda omabini amacala.

Kungathatha ixesha ukuba avavanye imeko, ke kufuneka ube nomonde kuye.

3. Uba buhlungu yile nto uyenzileyo

Kukho ithuba lokuba indima yakho ngexesha lokungavisisani iyakhathaza umntu wakho, kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokungahoyi. Isizathu esinokubangela isigqibo sakhe kulo mxholo kukuba, uyathemba ukuba ukungakuhoyi kuya kuyiphelisa intlungu.

Ukuba uyazi ukuba wenze izinto ezimbi, kwaye kungenxa yoko engakuhoyi, ungafudumala kuye kwaye ucele uxolo.

4. Uyakugezela

Esinye sezizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuba abafana bangabahoyi abafazi babo kukuba bayaphambana kubo, ngakumbi emva kokuba nengxabano eshushu.

Kule meko, into yokugqibela ayifunayo kukuzigcina ade agqibe kulo mbandela. Unokwazi ukuxelela imeko yakhe kuwe, kwaye ukuba uqaphela ukuba uyakuphambanela, zama ukumenza azole.

Zama kwakhona: Ngaba isithandwa sam siPhambene kum Quiz

5. Izenzo zakhe ziyamkhathaza

Umntu wakho usenokuba buhlungu ngendima ayidlalileyo kwimpikiswano, kwaye usenokuziva enetyala ngokukukhathaza.

Yiyo loo nto, anokugqiba kwelokuba angakuhoyi ukuze afumane eyona ndlela ingcono yokucela uxolo. Ke, xa ethula emva kwengxabano, esi sesinye sezizathu ezinokubakho.

6. Uxakiwe yile meko

Kungenzeka ukuba umntu wakho udidekile yile meko iphela, kwaye ufuna ixesha lokuvavanya yonke imeko.

Ke unokukhetha ukunqanda ukujongana nemeko ngokukuphepha. Ngokuqinisekileyo akafuni kungquzulana kwixa elizayo, kwaye usenokuzama ukungakukhathazi ngenxa yokungazi kwakhe.

7. Akafuni kuyenza mandundu imeko

Xa eyeka ukukufowunela, kwaye eqala ukungahoyi, mhlawumbi akafuni ukwenza amanzi abemdaka. Ke ngoko, mhlawumbi uthathe isigqibo sokuniphepha ukuze nobabini nizole kwaye nithethe ngentloko epholileyo.

Kuya kufuneka uyithathele ingqalelo le nto ukuba ucinga ukujongana naye; ungaqwalasela oku kunokwenzeka.

8. Ukungavisisani kunokubonakala ngathi kukungumbandela nje kuye

Ukuba uqaphela ukuba umntu wakho akakuhoyi, oko kunokuthetha ukuba imiba incinci. Ekugqibeleni, unokufumanisa ukuba lo mbandela awunangqondo kwaye uzixabise ngakumbi izenzo zakhe.

Inokuba wenza le nto kuba akafuni ukuba nobabini niphinde nilwe. Yiyo loo nto ungothuki xa esiza kuwe ngothando ngenye imini ukuze aqonde ukuba kutheni usitsho.

Nayi ividiyo ekunika ukuqonda okungakumbi ngento umntu ayicingayo xa engakuhoyi:

9. Ufuna ikhefu kulwalamano

Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukufuna ikhefu kubudlelwane akufani nokuyeka.

Umntu wakho unokuthatha isigqibo sokuba athathe ikhefu okwethutyana ukuvavanya imeko. Kuya kunceda ukuba ubenomonde kuye kude kuphele ikhefu.

10. Ufuna ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane

Kungaba buhlungu ukuyazi le nto, kodwa ukuba uqaphela ukuba akasathethi nawe kwaye akakuhoyi, mhlawumbi ufuna ukuyibiza ngokuba iyayeka.

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ulinde wena ukuba ukhethe icebo kwaye uqhubeke nobomi bakho. Ukuba akakuhoyi ixesha elide, yiya kuye uzolile umbuze ukuba ufuna ntoni.

Izinto ezili-15 ekufuneka uzenzile ukuba umntu akakuhoyi emva kwengxabano

Emva kokuphikisana nomntu wakho, kuya kufuneka uphephe imiba enzima ngokuzama ukulwa; Kuya kufuneka ukuba ube semva kokusombulula ungquzulwano. Xa umntu engahoyanga emva kwengxabano, lumka ngezenzo zakho kuba yiyo egqiba ukuba umba uza kusonjululwa ngokukhawuleza kangakanani na.

Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba wenzeni xa engakuhoyi emva komlo, nolu uluhlu lwezinto onokuzenza.

1. Vavanya imeko

Ukuba ubuphikisana nomfana wakho, kuya kufuneka uvavanye imeko ngokuqala uchonge unobangela kunye nezinye izinto eziwayo.

Unokuxoxa nomhlobo othembekileyo ukukunceda ubone imiba okanye iipateni onokuthi weqe kuzo.

2. Kuphephe ukuzicingela nokutsiba kwezigqibo

Ukuqikelela lolona hlobo luphantsi lolwazi; ukuba uqhubeka ucinga kwaye usenza izigqibo ngezi zinto, inokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho.

Ukuba uqaphela mfo yakho ngoyaba wena, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukummangalela.

3. Mnike ithuba lokuthandabuza

Kuya kufuneka uzibuze ukuba ngaba iqabane lakho likuhoya kaninzi emva kwengxabano okanye incoko.

Ukuba akenzanga njalo, kusenokubakho enye into emhluphayo. Kodwa, kukwakho nethuba lokuba azame ukusonga intloko yakhe ngalo mbandela.

4. Yiba nencoko naye

Xa ungavumelani nomfana wakho, kwaye engakuhoyi, inye into ekufuneka isengqondweni yakho ukuxoxa ngayo naye.

Ingakunceda into yokuba ubucebile malunga nesi senzo ngokuqala ujonge iinzame zakhe okwethutyana ngaphambi kokuqalisa incoko. Nangona kunjalo, lumka ukuba ungaqali umdlalo wecala xa uncokola.

5. Zama ukuvuma iimpazamo zakho kwimpikiswano

Xa kukho ukungavisisani kubudlelwane, omabini amaqela anendima yawo ayidlalayo. Ke, ungaya kumfana wakho umazise ukuba uyazi iimpazamo zakho ekuweni.

Xa usenza oku, kunokumkhuthaza ukuba enze into efanayo kwaye asombulule umba.

6. Lungisa isidlo asithandayo

Ukuba umntu wakho akakuhoyi, unokufumana ingqalelo yakhe ngokulungiselela isidlo asithandayo.

Ngale nto, kunokuba nzima kuye ukuba angakuhoyi kuba uya kuziva onwabile emva kwesidlo, kwaye uya kuba ekulungele ukuxoxa.

7. Mxelele ukuba ukuthula kwakhe kuyakuchaphazela

Nokuba ungaphambana kangakanani na mfo kuwe, nzulu entliziyweni yakhe, usakukhathalele.

Ke xa umxelela ukuba isenzo sakhe sichaphazela wena, usenokude enze ulungiso kwaye akujoyine ekusombululeni ungquzulwano.

8. Yenza iinkumbulo ezintsha okanye umkhumbuze ezadlulayo

Ngamanye amaxesha, yonke into oyifunayo yinto yokuguqula inkumbulo yakhe. Yiyo loo nto unokucebisa ukuba nobabini niye kwindawo ekhethekileyo enomoya ojikelezayo.

Ngenye indlela, unokwenza imisebenzi emkhumbuza iinkumbulo enizenzileyo nobabini ngaphambili.

9.Nxibelelana nabahlobo bakhe abathembekileyo kunye nezihlobo

Xa umntu wakho engakuhoyi emva kokuphikisana, kwaye akukho lula ukunxibelelana naye, ungabelana nabaphathiswa bakhe abathembekileyo kunye nezihlobo.

Ukuba akakuhoyanga ixesha elide, kunethuba lokuba izihlobo zakhe ezisondeleyo kunye nezihlobo zisenokuba zikubonile.

10. Fikelela kumcebisi ngobudlelane oqeqeshiweyo

Umcebisi ngobudlelwane bobuchwephesha uya kuba nesakhono sokubona iintanda ezifihliweyo kubudlelwane.

Yiyo loo nto, ukuba uyazibuza ukuba wenzeni xa eyeka ukutsalela umnxeba kunye nokuthumela imiyalezo ngefowuni, ungaqhagamshelana nomcebisi ngobudlelwane bobuchwephesha ngoncedo.

11. Cela uxolo kuye

Ukuba umntu wakho akakuhoyi, kubalulekile ukuba uthathe ixesha lokujonga imeko, wamkele iimpazamo zakho kwaye ucele uxolo. Usenokuba ulinde uxolo lwakho ngaphambi kokuba aqale ukuthetha nawe kwakhona.

Ukuba awuyazi indlela yokucela uxolo, nanga amagama oza kuwasebenzisa kwincwadi kaPauline Locke enesihloko esithi, Ndicela uxolo. Uya kufunda amagama afanelekileyo oza kuwasebenzisa ukuze ufumane ukuxolelwa yindoda yakho.

12. Zigcine uxakekile

Xa indoda isithi ifuna ixesha lokucinga emva komlo kwaye iqala ukukuhoya, uzigcina uxakekile ukunqanda ukucinga.

Emva koko, kukho ithuba lokuba indoda yakho ifikelele kuwe xa ikulungele ukuthetha. Ke, ungagxila kwezinye izinto zobomi bakho kwaye uye phambili.

13. Dibana nabantu abakuthandayo

Nangona usebudlelwaneni, usadinga ubukho kunye nokwazana kwabo bakuthandayo, ngakumbi ngamaxesha obunzima.

Umzekelo, xa ujonga kwaye ubuza ukuba kutheni umfana endithandana naye engandihoyi emva komlo, kungafuneka ufumane ingcaciso kwabo bakuthandayo.Aba bantu baya kukubonelela ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo ukukugcina uzinzile ngokwengqondo ukuze ungalahleki engqondweni.

14. Sebenzisa ezinye iindlela zonxibelelwano

Ukuba uziva umntu othandana naye engakuhoyi, ungasebenzisa ezinye iindlela zonxibelelwano ukufikelela kuye.

Nangona kunjalo, ngaphambi kokuba ugqibe ngokuziphatha kweqabane lakho, kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba ngaba isenzo sabo ngabom okanye hayi.

Mbonise ukuba umthanda kangakanani

Esinye sezizathu zokuba abantu bangawahoyi amanenekazi lawo kukungazithembi. Indoda engazithembanga inokuthatha isigqibo sokungakuhoyi ukuba uziva ungahamba nanini na.

Ukuba ufuna ukuqonda ngakumbi ngendlela yokusombulula imiba kubudlelwane bakho, ungajonga incwadi kaPaul Shaffer: Ukusonjululwa kwembambano kwizibini ezitshatileyo.

Le bok iza nengqondo ebanzi yokuba nobudlelwane obusempilweni ngokusombulula iimbambano ngoxolo.

Isiphelo

Xa umntu engakuhoyi emva kwengxabano, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uzive ukhathazekile okanye usoyika kuba ungazazi izinto ezingalindelekanga ezivela esiphelweni sakhe.

Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba ube nomonde kumfana wakho kwaye umphathe ngothando kungakhathaliseki. Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokungahoyi naye, akulunganga kuba iimpazamo ezimbini azinakulungisa.

Xa uqaphela ukuba lixesha elifanelekileyo, ungaqala incoko naye kwaye ufumanise ukuba kutheni engakuhoyi.