Umxholo
- Ingxaki exhaphake kakhulu
- Qiniseka ukuba uyamthanda ukuba ungubani namhlanje
- Abamakishi abalinganiswa abampofu: IiAAA ezintathu
- Olona luqatha A: Imicimbi
- Iimpawu zeempawu zomntu olungileyo
- Ngaphambi kokuba utsho ndiyenze
Kudala uthandana. Usenokuba uhlala kunye. Indoda yakho ekugqibeleni yavela kumbuzo, kodwa uyazibuza: ngaba ufanele uthi ewe?
Ukuba uthandabuza, amathumbu akho akuxelela into ethile. Ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba uthathe inyathelo ubuye umva, uvavanye ubudlelwane ngokunyaniseka njengoko unakho, kwaye uqiniseke ukuba nguye ngokwenene. Kutheni ndicebisa ukuba kubekho ulumkiso olunje?
Kungenxa yokuba ndisebenza njengomcebisi ngemitshato, ndigxile ekuvuseleleni imicimbi. Ndiyazi ukuba unzima kangakanani umtshato, kwaye ndiyakuxelela, ukuba awukho kwi-100% yokutsiba uye phezulu ulungele ukutshata naye, kunokwenzeka ukuba kukho into engalunganga.
Ingxaki exhaphake kakhulu
Kukho intetho endala yokuba umfazi utshata indoda ngethemba lokumtshintsha, ngelixa indoda itshata umfazi ngethemba lokuba ngekhe itshintshe.
Ukuba uthandabuzisile (okanye ngoku ubuza ukuba ngenene kufanelekile ukuba uthi ewe-abasetyhini abaninzi bathi ewe kuba yinto "elungileyo" ukuyenza okanye ngenxa yokuba bengafuni ukumenza buhlungu), uyazi ukuba into ayilunganga . Uninzi lwabasetyhini luyabajabulisa abantu (siqeqeshelwe ukuba ngolu hlobo), kwaye ke siya emtshatweni sisazi ukuba indoda yethu ayisiyiyo kanye le siyifunayo kwiqabane lobomi, kodwa sinethemba lokuba ekugqibeleni iya kufika apho. Uya kukhula abe yindima, okanye uya kuthi xibilili. Ufuna nje ixesha, akunjalo?
Akulunganga.
Iyacetyiswa Ikhosi yangaphambi komtshato
Qiniseka ukuba uyamthanda ukuba ungubani namhlanje
Abantu abatshintshi kuba ufuna njalo, kwaye ubudlelwane obuninzi buyehla kwimibhobho kuba elinye iqabane lizama ukutshintsha elinye. Uya kukhathazeka kuba engatshintshi, kwaye uya kukucaphukela ngokungamamkeli njengokuba enjalo. Ukuba ufuna umtshato ophumeleleyo, tshata umntu osele enobuntu obuhle, hayi amandla okuba mhlawumbi-ngamhla uthile uguquke ube yindoda yamaphupha akho.
Kutheni umlinganiswa ubalulekile? Kuba ubomi bunzima, kwaye udinga umntu owenza into elungileyo nokuba ayilungelanga. Hayi umntu onamandla okwenza into elungileyo ngenye imini ezantsi kwendlela.
Abamakishi abalinganiswa abampofu: IiAAA ezintathu
Ndibuze uBrett Novick, ingcali kwezomtshato kunye nombhali “Ungatshati iLamula!” Ingcebiso yakhe malunga nokuba ujonge ntoni kwiqabane. Ucebisa ngokujonga isimilo kunye namaxabiso ngaphezulu kwayo yonke enye into, kubandakanya umtsalane womzimba kunye neekhemesti.
"Qaphela ii-A's ezintathu: I-AAA yoTywala, iziyobisi, imicimbi," utshilo uNovick. “Ngaba banembali yokutsiba ukusuka kubudlelwane ukuya kubudlelwane? Iziyobisi? Ngaba basela kakhulu? ”
U-Novick ulumkisa ngokuchasene nee-AAAs kuba zithetha kakhulu ngohlobo lomntu alulo. Umntu osela kakhulu mhlawumbi akakwazi ukumelana nemiceli mngeni esempilweni, kwaye utywala ngumlo otya konke oya kuthi ngokuqinisekileyo uxinzeleleke ubudlelwane bakho. Kwangokunjalo iziyobisi zibonisa ubuthathaka besimilo esinokuwonakalisa umtshato. Indoda enembali yobudlelwane obufutshane isenokungakwazi ukuzibophelela kuwe.
Olona luqatha A: Imicimbi
Ungathini xa ekuqhatha ngaphambi komtshato? Njengengcali yokunceda imitshato ukuba iphinde ichache ekungathembekini, ndincoma ngamandla ukuba uyiyeke ngoku. Umtshato unzima. Ufuna umntu oza kuhlala ekulungele, nokuba kunamaxesha amabi. Ukuba ukukhohlisile, ukubonakalisile ukuba ungubani. Phuma emnyango ngoku, xa iintlungu ziphela kukophuka. Iintlungu zoqhawulo mtshato zimbi kakhulu, ngakumbi ukuba unabantwana naye.
Iimpawu zeempawu zomntu olungileyo
Kodwa ungazi njani ukuba umntu unesimilo esihle?
U-Novick uthi ungatsho ukuba indoda inesimilo esihle okanye esibi ngokujonga unxibelelwano nabanye abantu. "Sonke sizama ukuziphatha kakuhle xa siqala ukudibana nomntu," kusho uNovick. “Ndiyathemba ukuba ukuphatha kakuhle. Jonga indlela abaphatha ngayo abanye abantu, ngakumbi abantu abangakwaziyo ukumnceda okanye ukumnceda nangayiphi na indlela. Umphatha njani umlungiseleli? Usapho lwakhe? Unina? ”
Kutheni le nto kufuneka ujonge indlela abaphatha ngayo abantu abangamnikeli ngeniso? Uninzi lwabantu lunolwazi ngokwaneleyo ukuba luyazi ukuba kufuneka siziphathe kakuhle xa sifuna ukufumana into. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka uyazi ukuba uza kuniphatha njani kwixa elizayo, xa nobabini nikhululekile omnye nomnye, okanye ninoxinzelelo. Emva kokuba ixesha lokutshata liphelile, ngaba uya kuhlala ecinga? Ufuna ukukhetha umntu onobubele, onesisa, ohloniphayo kwaye okulungeleyo ukuzincama ngenxa yabanye.
Ngokunjalo, ufuna ukukhangela ubungqina bokuba luhlobo lomntu onokujamelana neenkqwithela zobomi. Ngaba womelele? Kulungile? Uyakwazi ukumelana neengxaki kunye nemiceli mngeni ngaphandle kokugxeka abanye ngeengxaki zakhe? Jonga ukuba uyiphatha njani yonke into ukusuka kwitrafikhi embi ukuya kwingozi yemoto. Ngaba yonke into ihlala iyimpazamo yomnye umntu, okanye ngaba uyakwazi ukwamkela ubugwenxa xa esenza impazamo? Ngaba uyaphindezela okanye unobabalo?
Ngaphambi kokuba utsho ndiyenze
Ukukhetha iqabane kunokuba ngumceli mngeni. Kunokulinga ukuhlala kwaye uthi ewe xa ukufuna kwakho indoda bekude kwaye kuyadinisa. Njengomcebisi womtshato, ndiyakuqinisekisa ukuba kungcono ukuhlala ungatshatanga kwaye uqhubeke ukhangela kunokuba ubophe iqhina nomntu onesimilo esibi. Umyeni olungileyo ukufanele ukulinda, nokuba kuya kufuneka uyekile ukubandakanyeka ngaphambi kwexesha.