Umxholo
- 1. Uxanduva ngokweemvakalelo
- 2. Ukungaqondani kwezemali
- 3. Ukungabikho kokuzaliseka ngokwesondo
- 4. Ukungahambi kakuhle kukhokelela kwimpikiswano engapheliyo
- 5. Ukuqhawulwa kwemvakalelo
Ngaba ukwindawo apho ungaqinisekanga nokuba uyawuphelisa umtshato okanye uqhubeke nokuhlala unethemba lomtshato ongcono? Ubudlelwane busekufikeleni kwikhefu, lo ngumzuzu wokushiya umtshato ukuze uzinike isantya esaneleyo ngaphandle kwempembelelo yeqabane lokuvuselela ubuchule bokucwangcisa ukuba usafuna ukuzama okanye ufuna ukukuphelisa. Ukushiya umtshato akuwuphelisi, nangona, ngokuxhomekeke kwimiba, unokugqibela uqhawulo mtshato. Kufanele ukuba ibe sisivumelwano sobabini kunye neendlela ezivulekileyo zonxibelelwano ngakumbi iqabane elikhetha eso sigqibo.
Ngamava okwaphula intliziyo; ingcinga yokuba uqala ubomi ngokutsha kude neqabane lakho yakha ityala kunye nokungcatsha. Ukuba nihlale kunye ixesha elingaphezu kweminyaka emi-5 emva koko nifuna ukuba yinxalenye yeqela lesithathu elifanelekileyo lokuhamba ngaphandle kokuhlukunyezwa ngokwasengqondweni. Yintoni enokukuqinisekisa ukuba ushiye umtshato?
1. Uxanduva ngokweemvakalelo
Umtshato yinto yamaqela amabini xa umntu eziva ethwele umthwalo weemvakalelo ukuwenza usebenze, ukwazisa imvakalelo yokungoneliseki. Xa elinye iqabane lithatha lonke uxanduva lokugcina ubomi bothando buphila, ngokuqinisekileyo, luyamkhathaza ngokweemvakalelo ukukhetha ukunika elinye iqabane indawo yovavanyo lokuba ingaba udlala indima ebalulekileyo ebomini babo.
Eyona meko imbi ifika xa uchaza iimvakalelo zakho kwiqabane lakho kwaye engenzi nzame zokuhlangula umtshato emva koko akukho ndlela inye ngaphandle kokushiya ubudlelwane ukuze uphakamise iflegi ebomvu kwimpembelelo yokungahoyi iimvakalelo zikabani.
2. Ukungaqondani kwezemali
Njengoko usapho lukhula, uxanduva lwezezimali luyanda. Iingcali zomtshato zicebisa abatshatileyo ukuba bavuleleke kwezemali kwaye benze uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali kuko konke okulindelweyo kwemali. Ukuba elinye iqabane likhetha ukugcina liyimfihlo kwiirekhodi zemali elinika iqabane elinye ukuthwala uxanduva lwezezimali kusapho, kuchaza ukungabikho kothando nentlonelo kwiqabane elinoxanduva. Ikwathetha ukuba akukho ukuzibophelela emtshatweni. Unganayo njani imali kusapho kwaye uvumele iqabane lakho ukuba lihoye zonke iimfuno zemali ngaphandle koncedo lwakho? Asingomtshato lowo.
3. Ukungabikho kokuzaliseka ngokwesondo
Xa ushiya indlu yabazali bakho uyokutshata- ujonge izinto ezintathu ngokulandelelana kwazo: ubuqabane, ukwaneliseka ngokwesondo kunye nabantwana. Izibini ezitshatileyo ziyabelana ngesondo, enyanisweni, ukuphindaphindeka kunye nokuqina komnqweno wabo wesini kuphezulu kunabantu abadala. Kwenzeka ntoni xa elinye iqabane lithatha ukwala elinye ilungelo lokutshata ngaphandle kwesizathu esivakalayo? Imvakalelo yokulahlwa kunye nokuwa ngaphandle kwezityalo zothando ezenza ukuba iqabane "elaliwe" lifune intuthuzelo kwenye indawo.
Xa isenzo sifika ekuqondeni iqabane; ukungcatsha nokungathembani kuthabatha inqanaba eliphambili kwimanyano. Ewe unokuxolelana kwaye ufune uxolelo. Kwenzeka ntoni xa iqabane lingakwazi ukuyeka ubudlelwane obutsha?
4. Ukungahambi kakuhle kukhokelela kwimpikiswano engapheliyo
Ukungaqondani kwiminyaka yokuqala yomtshato kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Ngoncedo lwabazali bakho okanye lomcebisi, udlula kwinqanaba ngokulula. Ukuphumelela impikiswano, iqabane kufuneka lilalanise kwaye lizincame, emva kweengxoxo zokujonga imiba ngokwembono efanayo, ingxaki ilele xa uhlala ungavisisani kungekho sisombululo soxolo. Amadoda awela ixhoba kuba evakalelwa kukuba aphulukene nolawulo kwiimvakalelo zamaqabane abo ezibenza bathambekele ekushiyekeni emtshatweni okanye babandakanyeke kwimikhwa eyingozi kusapho njengoku- ukusela nokuhlala kude kube lixesha lokugqibela ukuphepha iingxabano. Abasetyhini abakwazi ukumelana ixesha elide, ukushiya umtshato iba yinto elandelayo.
5. Ukuqhawulwa kwemvakalelo
Ngokwemvelo, abafazi bafuna lonke ingqalelo kunye noxabiso; Iyabacaphukisa xa kufuneka bekhuphisane nomntu okanye endaweni yoko bafuna ingqalelo yakho kuba "uxakekile". Balixabisile ixesha losapho, xa liphosakele kumanyano lomtshato, nakanjani na ukusilela. Amadoda, kwelinye icala, afuna inkululeko kunye nokukwazi ukulawula ngokupheleleyo abafazi babo. Ukuba kukho unxibelelwano olubi phakathi kwabafazi kulindelo bacela ngokuzithandela ukwahlukana.
Ukushiya umtshato enemithetho ecacileyo ngenjongo yokuvumela iqabane lakho ukuba likhangele umphefumlo kwicala lomtshato lisempilweni. Ukuntsokotha kwemicimbi ekhokelela ekwahlukaneni kumisela ubude bokwahlukana okanye uqhawulo-mtshato. Njengokuba ukhetha ukushiya umtshato, hamba unengqondo evulekileyo yokubuyisela umtshato okanye uphulukane nawo ngokupheleleyo kuba ukuba iqabane lakho aliziva lilifanele oko liza kuqhubeka.