Umxholo
- Ukukhanya kwegesi kwenzeka njani kubudlelwane?
- Zeziphi iimpawu zokuba ukhanyiswa ngegesi?
- 25 Amagama aqhelekileyo asetyenziswa ekukhanyeni kwerhasi kubudlelwane
- 1. Yeka ukungazithembi!
- 2. Unemvakalelo kakhulu!
- 3. Wenza nje oku.
- 4. Ayizange yenzeke loo nto.
- 5. Yeka ukuyibaxa imeko!
- 6. Awunakho ukuthatha isiqhulo?
- 7.Uziqonda phosakeleyo iinjongo zam.
- 8. Ingxaki ayikho kum; Kukuwe.
- 9. Ndicinga ukuba ufuna uncedo.
- 10. Yayingeyonjongo yam leyo; Uyeke ukutyhola mna!
- 11. Masiqale ngaphaya kwesikwere sokuqala.
- 12. Andiyi kubunyamezela ubuxoki.
- 13. Kufuneka unciphise umzimba.
- 14. Ufrigid kwaye umbi ebhedini.
- 15. Abahlobo bakho bazizidenge.
- 16. Ukuba ubundithanda, ubuya ....
- It is your fault I cheated.
- Akukho mntu wumbi unokukuthanda.
- 19. Ukuba unethamsanqa, ndiya kukuxolela.
- 20. Ufanele ukuba undithande ngokungenamiqathango.
- 21. Ndiyakhumbula ukuba wavuma ukuyenza loo nto.
- 22. Libala nje ngoku.
- 23. Yiyo le nto kungekho mntu ukuthandayo.
- 24. Andicaphuki. Ingaba uthetha ngantoni?
- 25. Uyandikhanyisa ngegesi!
- Isiphelo
Ayinakukhatywa loo nto yokwenza ubudlelwane bezothando, kwaye nokuba niyazana nje okanye iminyaka embalwa emtshatweni, umsebenzi omninzi uya kuwo.
Nangona kunjalo, wena kunye nesithandwa sakho nisebenza ngamahla ndinyuka obudlelwane benu.
Ngamanye amaxesha, ubudlelwane buya kujika bube sempilweni kwaye bube yityhefu. Ukukhanya kwegesi yinto yengqondo enzima kakhulu. Amabinzana akhanyisa igesi anokusetyenziswa ngomnye okanye omabini amaqabane ngexesha lencoko yemihla ngemihla okanye ngexesha lokungavisisani.
Sebenzisa amabinzana okukhanyisa ngegesi kulwalamano kunokuluguqula ubudlelwane lube yinto enetyhefu.
Ke ngoko kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele la mabinzana ukuze wazi naziphi na iimpawu zokukhanyisa ngegesi. Olu luhlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo.
Umxholo woxhatshazo nawo ubalulekile. Ukuxhatshazwa akupheleli nje ekulimazeni umntu emzimbeni. Ukuphathwa gadalala kunokuthatha iindlela ngeendlela– ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasemzimbeni, ngamazwi, ngengqondo nangokwezemali.
Ngenxa yokuba buqheleke kangakanani ubudlelwane bokukhanyisa ngegesi, kubalulekile ukuba wazi amabinzana abantu abawasebenzisayo ukukhanyisa abanye. Nguwe ophethe ukhuseleko kunye nengqondo yakho. Ukuze ufunde ngokukhanyisa ngegesi ngokubanzi, qhubeka ufunde.
Ukukhanya kwegesi kwenzeka njani kubudlelwane?
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi kunokubangela iintlungu ezininzi kubudlelwane. Inokubangela umonakalo omkhulu. Ke yintoni ukukhanya kwegesi kubudlelwane? Eli liqhinga lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Umxhaphazi uyisebenzisela ukusola ityala kulowo ukhanyisiweyo ngerhasi.
Xa umntu esebenzisa amabinzana akhanyisa ngegesi, banokuzama ukutshintsha incoko okanye ulwazi ukubonisa ukuba abanabungozi ngokupheleleyo, bengenanjongo zimbi.
Izibane zegesi zisebenzisa la mabinzana ukwenza amandla kubudlelwane. Banokuba nomnqweno omkhulu wokulawula ixhoba.
Ukukhanya kwegesi kuthathwa njengohlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kuba la mabinzana kunye nezivakalisi zingonakalisa ukuzithemba kwexhoba, zidideke, kwaye zichaphazele nengqondo yabo.
Izibane zerhasi zisebenzisa iindlela ezi-5 zobuqhetseba zokubala, ukuphikisa amatye, ukuphambukisa / ukuvimba, ukwala / ukulibala ngabom, kunye nokunciphisa.
Zeziphi iimpawu zokuba ukhanyiswa ngegesi?
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi kulenzakalisa ixhoba kuba ixhoba lingaziva lididekile kwaye linomsindo. Banokuqalisa ukubuza inyaniso emva kweembono zabo. Ixhoba liqala ukuzithandabuza.
Ukuba uphantsi kweNgcaciso yokuKhanya kweRhasi, kunokwenzeka ukuba inokwenzeka ukuba kudala isenzeka. Kungenxa yokuba ukukhanya kwegesi kunzima ukufumanisa. Isenokungakwenzakalisi ekuqaleni. Nangona kunjalo, iziphumo zexesha elide zinokuba yingozi.
Ixhoba lokukhanyisa ngerhasi linokuhamba lize liqiniseke ngokungazithembi, ukudideka, ukuziva uxhalabile ngalo lonke ixesha, ukuba wedwa, kwaye ekugqibeleni, uxinzelelo.
Iziphumo zokukhanyisa ngegesi kwixhoba zinokuqala ngokuziva ungakholelwa. Inokujika ibe kukuzikhusela, okunokuthi ekugqibeleni kubangele uxinzelelo.
25 Amagama aqhelekileyo asetyenziswa ekukhanyeni kwerhasi kubudlelwane
Cinga la mabinzana alandelayo ukuba abe yimizekelo yokukhanyisa igesi kubudlelwane. Lumka, kwaye nceda uzikhusele kolu hlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo.
Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ngamabinzana, nantsi ividiyo ekhawulezayo malunga nokukhanya kwegesi:
Nazi iindlela eziqhelekileyo zokusebenzisa i-Gaslighting kubudlelwane bezothando:
1. Yeka ukungazithembi!
Izibane zegesi zilungile xa zidlala umdlalo osolwayo. Zikulungele ukutshintsha ityala kwixhoba.
Ukuba uveza into malunga nomxhaphazi ekuxhalabisayo, baya kukwenza ungaziva ulungile nokuba ungazisa. Abafuni kusebenza ngokwabo. Ke, banokukubiza ungakhuselekanga.
2. Unemvakalelo kakhulu!
Le yenye yezona zivakalisi zisetyenziswa ngokuxhaphakileyo ngeGesi. Izibane zerhasi ziswele uvelwano.
Nangona kunjalo, banokungakuvumeli oku malunga nabo. Endaweni yoko, banokujikisa ingqalelo yakho kwaye bavakalise izimvo zakho.
3. Wenza nje oku.
Ukuba omnye wakho obalulekileyo uneempawu zobuntu bokuziphatha kakubi, usenokuba weva bethetha oku. Le yenye yezona ntetho zixhaphakileyo ezisetyenziswayo ngabantu.
Banokuthi bathambekele ekusebenziseni ukukhanyela njengendlela yokuzikhusela. Ke banokukunyanzela ukuba utshintshe umbono wakho kwimeko.
4. Ayizange yenzeke loo nto.
Ukuba ubusoloko uphantsi kweli binzana, inokukhokelela ekubeni ubuze ubunyulu bakho kwaye ulahlekelwe kukunxibelelana nenyani.
5. Yeka ukuyibaxa imeko!
Izibane zerhasi zisebenzisa eli binzana ukubonisa ixhoba ukuba inkxalabo yexhoba iyabaxwa kwaye ayiloncedo.
Olu luhlaselo oluthe ngqo kubuchule bexhoba.
6. Awunakho ukuthatha isiqhulo?
Umntu okuphatha gadalala usebenzisa eli binzana xa ethetha into eyenzakalisayo kwaye angaphumeleli. Yiyo loo nto bethetha into eyenzakalisayo ngokuqhula.
Ukuba ixhoba laye labonisa ukuba likrwada okanye likhohlakele, okanye liyenzakalisa, umxhaphazi unokusebenzisa eli binzana ukumisa uluvo lwabo olubi.
7.Uziqonda phosakeleyo iinjongo zam.
Esi sesinye seziBane zokuKhanyisa iRhasi ngokuthe ngqo ezisetyenziswa ngabaxhaphazi ukuphambukisa uxanduva kubo kwixhoba.
Bahlala besithi imeko ibikukungaqondani kwaye bazame ukubaleka ngokusebenzisa eli binzana.
8. Ingxaki ayikho kum; Kukuwe.
Eli binzana liklasikhi linamandla aphezulu okulimaza ixhoba.
Izibane zerhasi zisebenzisa ingqikelelo (indlela yokuzikhusela) ukuphelisa ukuzithemba kwexhoba ngokuthetha eli binzana.
9. Ndicinga ukuba ufuna uncedo.
Eli binzana linokusetyenziswa ngokusempilweni ngeenjongo ezintle, kodwa linokusetyenziswa gwenxa. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakhohlisa ngokwendalo, banokusebenzisa eli binzana ukugcina ukungazithembi engqondweni yexhoba.
Babuza imeko yezempilo yexhoba ngokubakhohlisa ngale ngxelo.
10. Yayingeyonjongo yam leyo; Uyeke ukutyhola mna!
Le yenye ingxelo ekhohlisayo eyenziwe zizikhanyisi zegesi ezigcwele ubuxoki.
Ngokutsho oku, bazama ukuza benyulu kwaye bajonge umsulwa ngeenjongo ezinyulu xa bewuphikisa umba.
Zama kwakhona: Ngaba ndinguKwaziswa ngeGesi
11. Masiqale ngaphaya kwesikwere sokuqala.
Izibane zegesi zeNarcissistic zihlala zisebenzisa oku ukunqanda ukuvuma nokusebenza kwiimpazamo zabo okanye kwimicimbi.
Aba baxhaphazi abathandi ukujongana neengxaki zabo. Basebenzisa eli binzana njengendlela yokukhangela ngaphezulu kweempazamo zabo zangaphambili kwaye baqale ngokutsha.
12. Andiyi kubunyamezela ubuxoki.
Le yindlela yokuphambukisa esetyenziswa ngokuxhaphakileyo apho umntu osebenzisa irhasi asebenzise eli binzana ukunqanda ukungqubana malunga nokuziphatha kwabo okuyingxaki.
Ukuba ibango eliphakanyiswe lixhoba alihambelani nembali yomxhaphazi, basebenzisa eli binzana ukuphambukisa.
13. Kufuneka unciphise umzimba.
Izibane zegesi zihlala zifuna ukuba ixhoba lixhomekeke kubo ngokungqinisisa nothando. Le yenye yeendlela ulwalamano olunokuba yityhefu ngayo.
Ukwenza oku kuxhomekeka, bahlala bebhenela ekugxekeni imbonakalo yexhoba ukuze ixhoba liphele liziva liphosakele ngomzimba wabo.
14. Ufrigid kwaye umbi ebhedini.
Ngaphandle kwembonakalo yomzimba, le yenye yeendawo ekujolise kuzo kuhlaselo apho abakhanyisi ngegesi benza amaxhoba azive kakubi ngempilo yabo yezesondo, ukuthanda kwabo ngokwesondo, kunye nokuziphatha ngokwesini ngokubanzi.
Ukongeza, eli binzana lihlala lisetyenziselwa ukubaleka nokuziphatha okungamkelekanga ngokwesini okanye ukukopela.
15. Abahlobo bakho bazizidenge.
Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, ukuzahlula sisiphumo esiqhelekileyo sokukhanyiselwa ngegesi. Usapho kunye nabahlobo banokuchonga imisebenzi yokukhanyisa igesi nangaphambi kokuba ixhoba likuqonde oku.
Ke ngoko, abakhanyisi ngegesi basebenzisa eli binzana kumaxhoba ukuphakamisa imibuzo malunga nokuqiqa kwale yokugqibela kwaye batyale imbewu yokungazithembi kwaye babeke ecaleni abo bathetha eli binzana.
16. Ukuba ubundithanda, ubuya ....
Eli binzana lisetyenziswe ngobuchule ukubeka ixhoba kwindawo enzima ukuba izive inyanzelekile ukuxolela okanye ukuthethelela indlela engamkelekanga yomqhubi wegesi.
It is your fault I cheated.
Oku kubangelwa yindawo yokungafuni kweglaseli ukwamkela impazamo yabo. Akunakuvuma ukuba bayakopela kwaye konke kuphezu kwabo.
Kungenxa yokuba abakhanyisi begesi abalihoyi ityala labo ngokungaze bavume kwiimpazamo zabo kwaye bazifihle emva kokungazithembi kwamaqabane abo.
Akukho mntu wumbi unokukuthanda.
Xa ubudlelwane bujika buba muncu, le yenye yezona zivakalisi zisetyenziswa ngokuqhelekileyo zokuKhanyisa iRhasi.
Yithi ixhoba kufuneka libe nesibindi sokucebisa ngokwahlukana. Umbane onerhasi angalithatha elo thuba ahlasele ukuzixabisa kwexhoba ngokuthe ngqo. Eli binzana linokulenza ixhoba livakale ngathi alithandeki okanye liphukile.
19. Ukuba unethamsanqa, ndiya kukuxolela.
Le yenye yezona ntetho zixhaphakileyo.
Umzekelo, emva kokuba umkhanyi wegesi erhabaxa ekwazi ukuhambisa ityala kwelo xhoba, ixhoba lingaqala ukucela uxolo kakhulu ngokuxolela.
Kodwa xa umntu erhabaxa ephelisa ukuxolela ixhoba ngento ayenzileyo, bathi eli binzana lenze ixhoba lizive libi kakhulu.
20. Ufanele ukuba undithande ngokungenamiqathango.
Le yenye yezo ziNdawo zokuKhanyisa iRhasi ezisetyenziswa ngabaxhaphazi xa ubudlelwane bunokuba sisiseko sokusebenzisa iinkolelo ezisisiseko zexhoba ngothando ngokuchasene nabo.
21. Ndiyakhumbula ukuba wavuma ukuyenza loo nto.
Eli binzana lelinye iflegi ebomvu ebomvu apho umhlukumezi azama ukugqwetha iinkumbulo zexhoba malunga nemeko enxulumene nokugqibela.
22. Libala nje ngoku.
Ubume bokungaboni ngasonye babaxhaphazi kubakhokelela ekubeni basebenzise eli binzana rhoqo ukuphambukisa imiba efanelekileyo malunga nolwalamano.
23. Yiyo le nto kungekho mntu ukuthandayo.
Eli binzana lelinye ijab ekuzixabiseni kwexhoba kunye nokuzixabisa ukudala imeko yokuxhomekeka kumxhaphazi kwaye ubekele ecaleni ixhoba.
24. Andicaphuki. Ingaba uthetha ngantoni?
Unyango oluthulwayo liqhinga eliqhelekileyo elisetyenziswa ngabakhanyisi begesi abasebenzisa i-narcissistic ngokusebenzisa eli binzana ukudida ixhoba.
25. Uyandikhanyisa ngegesi!
Izibane zegesi zisebenzisa eli binzana ukuzithengela ixesha. Ngelishwa, bakwenza oku ngokucinezela ixhoba ngokusebenzisa eli binzana.
Khumbula la mabinzana akhanyisa igesi, kwaye nceda ulumke kwaye uzikhusele.
Isiphelo
Ngokusisiseko, ukuba unokuthandabuza ukuba iqabane lakho liyakukhanyisela, nceda ujonge kulo. Ukuba lixhoba lokukhanyisa ngerhasi kunokukhokelela kuxinzelelo kwaye ungaphulukana nengqondo yakho.
Inokuba mandundu emini, nceda uqaphele ukuba imeko ayiphumi esandleni. Ukuba ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho liya kuqiqa nawe, ungathatha uncedo lwengcali ukujongana nale meko.