Umxholo
- Qalisa umtshato wakho ngokubuza imibuzo enentsingiselo
- Vumela ukuhamba kwexesha elidlulileyo kunye nentlungu
- Funda iilwimi zothando
- Thatha uxanduva lolonwabo lwakho
Abantu abatshatileyo ngamanye amaxesha bafikelela kwinqanaba apho bengaziva bethandana khona. Elinye iqabane linokuphelelwa luthando ngequbuliso, okanye isibini sinokuhamba kancinci kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo sifikelele kwinqanaba apho kungekho thando, kungekho thando kunye nemvakalelo yokuhlangana iphelile. Oku kunokuba ngamava othusayo kwizibini ezininzi njengoko uninzi lwazo luqale ngokuba nothando olunzulu, kwaye bengakwazi ukucinga ngobomi babo ngaphandle komnye nomnye.
Ngokwenyani, imitshato emininzi iya kwinqanaba "elingenaluthando" kwaye kukho amaqabane amaninzi phaya acinga ukuba: "Okwangoku, andisamthandi umlingane wam". Ukuba ucinga ngoluhlobo ungaziva ngathi umtshato wakho wenza ukuba ube lusizi. Eli ayilo nqanaba kulula ukuba kulo kodwa ngethamsanqa kukho izisombululo ezimbalwa kwimeko yakho ebonakala ngathi "ayinathemba".
Qalisa umtshato wakho ngokubuza imibuzo enentsingiselo
Amaxesha ngamaxesha lonke ubudlelwane bethu, umtshato wethu ngakumbi, ufuna ithuba lokuqalisa ngokutsha. Kufuneka sidale kwaye sibambe indawo apho sinokuthi sijongane nalo lonke usizi, ilahleko, ukwenzakala kunye nokungahoywa okwenziweyo ngokwabelana nabanye ngobomi bethu.
Eyona ndlela yokufezekisa oku kukuchitha iiyure ezimbalwa kwindawo emnandi, esondeleyo, umzekelo, isidlo sangokuhlwa ekhaya, ngelixa ubandakanyeka kwincoko enzulu nenentsingiselo. Akwanelanga ukutya ukutya okumnandi nokuthetha ngayo nantoni na. Incoko kufuneka ibandakanye imibuzo ebalulekileyo eya kukunceda uqale uthando lwakho kwaye ikuxhase uyeke ukuziva ulusizi emtshatweni wakho.
Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa zale mibuzo:
- Ndingenza ntoni ukukuxhasa ngcono ebomini bakho?
- Ngaba ikhona into endiyenzileyo kwiveki / ngenyanga edlulileyo ebangele ukuba ube buhlungu ndingazi ngayo?
- Yintoni endinokuyenza okanye ndiyithethe kuwe xa ubuya emsebenzini izokukwenza uzive ukuba uyathandwa kwaye uyakhathalelwa?
- Uziva njani ngobomi bethu bezesondo mva nje?
- Ucinga ukuba yeyiphi eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuphucula umtshato?
Kubalulekile ukuba omabini amaqabane abuze kwaye aphendule le mibuzo ngokuthembeka nangokungafihlisi. Umtshato osokolayo awukwazi "ukulungiswa" ngomzamo weqabane elinye kuphela.
Vumela ukuhamba kwexesha elidlulileyo kunye nentlungu
Ngaphandle kokuzimisela ukuthetha ngezihloko ezinentsingiselo kunye nokuthatha uxanduva lobuqu ukuphucula umtshato wakho, kuya kufuneka uthathe inyathelo elibalulekileyo lokukhulula kunye nokuyeka konke okudlulileyo okwenzekileyo kumtshato wakho.
Ukuqokelela ukungakhathali, ingqumbo kunye nokusola kuya kukugcina unamathele kububi bakho kwaye kuya kuthintela kwaye konakalise naliphi na ilinge kwicala leqabane lakho lokwenza izinto zibengcono. Ukuyeka ixesha elidlulileyo kukwaquka into yokuxolela wena kunye nabanye ke ngoko kuya kufuneka ukulungele ukuthi uxolo, uxolele kwaye uxolelwe.
Ukuba oku kuvakala kunzima kwaye kunokudideka, ungaqala ukufunda ukuvumela ukuba uqhelise ngobumnene "ukucamngca ngokuxolelwa". Kwi-YouTube, unokufumana iiseshoni zokucamngca ezininzi ezixhasa uxolelo, kwaye simahla.
Funda iilwimi zothando
Esinye sezizathu zokuba ungaziva ngathi iqabane lakho alikuthandi kungakho ngenxa yomahluko kwiilwimi zothando "ozithethayo".
Ngokwombhali wencwadi ethi "The Five Love Languages: How to Expressfitfeltity Commit ukuzibophelela kwiQabane lakho," zikho iindlela ezahlukeneyo esikhetha ukunika nokwamkela uthando. Ukuba indlela esifuna ukufumana ngayo uthando ayisiyiyo leyo iqabane lethu eliyisebenzisayo ukulinika lona, sinokuthi sijongane nemeko enzima "yokungafani kolwimi lothando". Oku akuthethi ukuba uthando alukho. Ithetha nje ukuba "ibilahlekile kuguqulo".
Iilwimi ezintlanu zothando uninzi lwethu oluthethayo zezi zilandelayo:
- Ukunika izipho,
- Ixesha elibalulekile,
- Amagama okuvuma,
- Izenzo zenkonzo (ukuzinikela),
- Ukubamba ngokomzimba
Kuxhomekeke kuthi ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni ebaluleke kakhulu kuthi kunye neqabane lethu xa kuziwa ekuboniseni uthando kwaye sibeke umzamo wokunika kunye nokwamkela uthando "ngokuchanekileyo" ukuze siphinde siphume sodwa kunye nosizi.
Thatha uxanduva lolonwabo lwakho
Ulonwabo lusisiphumo hayi injongo yomtshato. Inxalenye ekhohlisayo kukuba siyabambeka kusukelo lokonwaba kwaye sihlala sizibeka ityala ngokwenza ukhetho olubi lokutshata neqabane lethu kwasekuqaleni. Okanye sityhola iqabane lethu ngokungabi ngendlela esifuna ukuba yiyo.
Ukuba asonwabanga sihlala siyenza impazamo yomnye umntu. Kunqabile ukuba sime kwaye sijonge emva kulindelo ebesinalo malunga nomtshato kunye neqabane lethu elikhokelela ekubeni sitshatile kwaye sibe lusizi.
Kuya kufuneka sithathe inyathelo ukubuyela emva kwaye sibone ukuba yeyiphi eyona nto ilandelayo esinokuyenza ukoyisa ukuphoxeka kwaye sifunde kwiimpazamo zethu ukugcina ubudlelwane bethu obunzima.