Umxholo
- Kutheni abaxhaphazi bexhaphaza?
- Yintoni ebalekayo iliso
- Abahlukumezi nabo abayazi imvo yokungazithembi
- Abahlukumezi bakhetha njani amaxhoba abo
Ukuphathwa gadalala kobudlelwane sisigama esiqhelekileyo esiqulunqwe ngokucacileyo bhekisa kwizisongelo, ukuphathwa gadalala, ukuzikhetha, ukoyikisa, ukukhathaza ngokwasemzimbeni / ngokwesondo, ukukhathazwa ngengqondo / ngokwasengqondweni njalo njalo ukujongana nexhoba ngaphakathi kommandla obizwa ngokuba kukuthandana.
Nangona kunjalo, ubudlelwane bezothando balo naluphi na uhlobo benzelwe ukuba yindawo yentuthuzelo, ukufudumala, uthando, inkathalo kunye nokhuseleko.
Amaqabane athandanayo kufuneka axhasane, akhule kunye, kwaye akwazi ukuxhomekeka omnye komnye. Kwaye nangona ubudlelwane bunqabile, ukuba bakho, kugqibelele, ukulindela ezo zinto zisisiseko ngokwenene akuninzi.
Okwangoku, uninzi lwabaxhaphazi kunye namaxhoba abo baphila ubomi babo ekwabelwana ngabo ngendlela ephikisana nale nyaniso isisiseko. Kwaye uninzi alunakukuqonda kwaphela oko.
Isizathu silele kumandla phakathi kwabaxhatshazwayo kunye nabaphethe gadalala, amandla abenza ukuba balingane ngokugqibeleleyo, nangona kunjalo kuyaphikisana.
Kutheni abaxhaphazi bexhaphaza?
Ke, zeziphi izizathu zokuxhatshazwa kubudlelwane obusondeleyo? Zonke iintlobo zoxhatshazo iinzame zokulawula ixhoba.
Wonke umxhaphazi, ngokufana nalo lonke ixhoba, unengxaki yokungazithembi. Ukungazithembi ngokunzulu, ukuziva ungafanelekanga, ukuphathwa gadalala kwabantwana kunye nokungahoywa, ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi kunye nolindelo olungelulo zimbalwa zezizathu zokuphathwa gadalala kubudlelwane.
Umxhaphazi uyakuhlala efumana into anokuyibeka ityala njengonobangela wokubethwa emzimbeni nangokwasengqondweni. Lonke eli xesha, lishiya ixhoba libethwa kwaye lilahlekile.
Ukuphonononga ingqondo yomntu ophethe gadalala kunye nexhoba, kufuneka kuqala sivume ukuba inani elikhulu labantu lixhoba lokuxhatshazwa.
Ngokomndilili phantse abantu abangama-20 ngomzuzu baphathwa gadalala ngokwasemzimbeni ngamaqabane abo, Nazi ezinye iinyani ezimbalwa ezikhanyayo malunga nezinto ezibangela ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni ukukunceda uqonde ukuba zeziphi iintlobo zempatho gadalala.
Kodwa ke amathuba kukuba iwebhu yeenkcazo kunye nokuqiqa malunga nokuxhatshazwa kulwalamano kunzima kakhulu, kangangokuba kuye kube yinto engenakwenzeka ukuyikhulula.
Kungenxa yesi sizathu le nto uninzi lwamaxhoba oxhatshazo oluzibuza ukuba ingaba bakwibudlelwane obuhlukumezayo- into edla ngokuvakala ingenangqondo kwaphela kumbukeli wangaphandle.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ukuxhatshazwa Ngokwesondo Emtshatweni - Ngaba Nyhani Ikhona Into enjalo?
Yintoni ebalekayo iliso
Kulula ukugxeka umenzi wobubi ngokuziphatha gwenxa kubudlelwane.
Kuhlala kulula kakhulu ukugweba ixhoba ngokunjalo. Umhlaseli ngumntu nje ongendawo onotyekelo lokuhlukumeza ongafanelekanga ukuba afumane uvelwano. Kwaye ixhoba bekufanele ukuba lomelele kwaye liqiniseke ngakumbi kwaye ngekhe liyivumele ukuba yenzeke kubo. Nangona kunjalo, nangona ukuxhatshazwa kungaze kuxolelwe, lo mbandela unzima ngakumbi ngokwengqondo.
Umxhaphazi, ngakumbi xa uxhatshazo olo lusenziwa ngokweemvakalelo, kaninzi akayiboni into abayenzayo njengokuhlukumeza konke konke.
Inokwenzeka njani loo nto? Ewe, xa bebuzwa ukuba bachaze indlela abaziphethe ngayo, uninzi lwabahlaseli kulwalamano luziva lomelele kakhulu ukuba bebebeka nje amaqabane abo ngokuthe tye, Ukuzama ukubenza benze into elungileyo-nantoni na abayithatha njengeyona ilungileyo.
Umzekelo, ukuba baberhanela ukuba iqabane labo liyabakhohlisa, impatho gadalala eyalandelayo yeza njengendlela yokwenza ukuba "umkhohlisi" abenembeko kwaye abekeke.
Ukuba basebenze ngenene ukwahlula ixhoba kubahlobo nakwintsapho yalo ukuze bakwazi ukulilawula ngokulula, bahlala bekholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba bakwenze oko ngenxa ye "mpembelelo embi" ebisoloko isiza ivela kwabo bantu.
Abahlukumezi nabo abayazi imvo yokungazithembi
Ukunqongophala kokuzithemba kwabo abavakalelwa kungqina ukuba kunzima, njengoko abahlukumezi abaninzi abayazi indlela yokufumana iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo ngaphandle komsindo.
Ukuba iqabane labo libonakala likude, nangona isenzo sokwenyani sokwesaba kunye nentlungu yengqondo, iingqondo zabo ziqinile ukuze zingabavumeli ukuba bazive ngaloo ndlela.
Ukufumana ixhala kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba ebusweni bethemba lokushiywa ngulowo simthandayo kunzima kunokuba nomsindo kwaye wenze kuloo msindo.
Ke, ingqondo yomhlaseli iyabakhusela kuluhlu lweemvakalelo ezingalunganga kwaye ibanike enye indlela ekhuselekileyo- ingqumbo.
Ukuqonda ukuba yintoni ukuxhatshazwa kubudlelwane ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba ngumceli mngeni. Bukela le vidiyo xa ujongene nomxhaphazi ngokuziphatha gwenxa.
Abahlukumezi bakhetha njani amaxhoba abo
Ngokungafaniyo nenkolelo edumileyo necacileyo yokuba abaxhaphazi baxhaphaza ababuthathaka, ababuthathaka nababuthathaka, Abahlukumezi bahlala betsaleleka kubantu ababonakala bomelele kwaye bephumelele abanemvakalelo enzulu yovelwano nemfesane. Kuphela kusemva kokuba isincamathiselo siba nzulu apho banokuthi babenakho ukudiliza amandla kunye nokuzithemba kwithagethi yabo ngokuziphatha gwenxa kwabo.
Ixhoba lokuxhatshazwa kubudlelwane ngokufuthi alazi ukuba izinto zimi njani.
Amaxesha amaninzi ukuzithemba kwangaphandle bahlala bevela kwiintsapho apho bafundiswe khona ukuba abonelanga, ukuba abathandeki kwaye abafanelekanga.
Ke, bahlala bachitha ubomi babo ngokungazi bekhangela abantu kunye neemeko eziya kuqinisekisa inkolelo enjalo kubo. Kwaye nje ukuba badibane nomhlaseli wabo, umdlalo uqala, kwaye akukho namnye unethuba elininzi lokubaleka ngaphandle kwangaphandle, ngokukhethekileyo ingcali, uncedo.
Ixhoba lilimaza ngalo lonke ixesha, liziva ngakumbi nangakumbi ngathi ukuntywila kulwandle lokuziva unetyala, ukuzibek 'ityala, ukuzonda, kunye nosizi. Kodwa abanamandla okuphelisa oko (akusekho, okanye iinyanga okanye iminyaka yokumamela yonke le ntetho ithoba isidima). Yiloo nto eyenza ubudlelwane buhlukumeze kunye nomjikelo okhohlakeleyo.
Ukuphathwa gadalala yindlela yokuziphatha eyonakalisayo kunye nokucinga okunesoyikiso sokutshabalalisa ubomi babaninzi. Ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwasengqondweni okanye ubundlobongela basekhaya kukuziphatha okufundwayo. Abahlukumezi bakhule beyibona kwiintsapho zabo, kufutshane nabahlobo okanye ekuhlaleni.
Kwaye ubudlelwane kufuneka bube ziindawo apho kungenakwenzeka njalo. Kodwa iyenzeka. Ukuphathwa gadalala kobudlelwane kwenzeka ngendlela eyaziwayo. Kanye xa ixhoba lisazi ukuba baphila ubudlelwane bokuhlukumeza kwaye baqala ukucinga ngokuyeka umhlaseli, isimilo esihlukumezayo siyakuphela okwethutyana. Bahlala bezama ukunika izizathu zoxhatshazo oluya kubavelela ngendlela eyahlukileyo yeqabane elineenjongo ezintle.
Umxhaphazi uba ngumntu onobubele nothando ixhoba lathandana kwasekuqaleni.
Yonke into yothando lwakudala ibuyile, kwaye i-honeymoon iqala konke.
Okwangoku, nje ukuba ixhoba lokuziphatha kakubi kweqabane liqale ukuqiqa isigqibo sabo kwaye libagcine belindile, umhlukumezi uya kuluthatha kwakhona ulawulo kwaye yonke indlela yokuziphatha gadalala iya kuziphinda de omnye kwaba babini aphule umjikelo. Kwaye oku kufuna isibindi, ukholo, kwaye ikakhulu - uncedo.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ungaluqonda njani ulwalamano olusenyongweni ngokweemvakalelo?