Yintoni ebangela ukuDlamka kobudlelwane obuSempilweni

Umxholo

• Zeziphi izinto eziguqukayo kubudlelwane obusempilweni?
• Ubungakanani beDynamics Relationship
• I-5 Dynamics kubudlelwane obusempilweni
• Ngaba amandla angatshintsha kubudlelwane?
• Kutheni le nto kubalulekile ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho kunye?
• Iindlela ezi-5 zokutshintsha ulwalamano lwakho
• Iingcebiso ngokulawula imiceli mngeni yobudlelwane
• Yise kude

Indlela esinxibelelana ngayo nonxibelelana nabanye isebenza njengesiseko sokwenza ulwalamano lwamandla. Sima njani okanye siziphatha njani, amagama esiwasebenzisayo, imbonakalo yobuso bethu ziziphathamandla ezisebenzisanayo ezenza amandla kubudlelwane.

Kucacile ukuba amandla obudlelwane adlala indima ebalulekileyo kuzo zonke iinkqubo zentlalo, ezopolitiko kunye nezoqoqosho, ke masikhe sijonge nzulu ukuba zeziphi izinto ezinamandla kubudlelwane obusempilweni kunye nendlela esinokuphucula ngayo.

Zeziphi izinto eziguqukayo kubudlelwane obusempilweni?

Izinto eziguqukayo kubudlelwane bezothando zinokuchazwa njengeendlela ezihambelanayo zonxibelelwano ezenzeka phakathi kwesibini.

Ulwalamano olunempilo lubandakanya ukumamela into ethethwa liqabane lakho, ukubonisa umbulelo kunye noxabiso ngeqabane lakho, kwaye ukulungele ukuxolisa kunye nokubonisa uthando ngokuphatha okanye amagama amnandi.

Kwelinye icala, izinto eziguqukayo kubudlelwane zinokuba sempilweni okanye zibe mbi ukuba zihlala zibandakanya elinye iqabane elibangela impendulo enomsindo kwelinye.

Ukuqonda ngokupheleleyo ukuba zeziphi izinto ezinamandla ezitshatileyo, kubalulekile ukuba ube nokuqonda okupheleleyo malunga namandla olwalamano. Ukongeza kwiipatheni zokunxibelelana kubudlelwane, izibini eziguqukayo zibandakanya indawo ezahlukeneyo.

Ubungakanani beDynamics Relationship

Lungiselela / utyebise, inkqubo yokufumana iingcebiso kwisibini, unikezela nge ubudlelwane beDynamics Scale ukuvavanya ukuba ngaba amandla esibini asempilweni. Eli nqanaba livavanya le mimandla mine ilandelayo:

• Ukuqinisekisa: Lo mmandla wobudlelwane bokutshintsha uvavanya ukuba ngaba iqabane ngalinye liyakwazi ukunxibelelana neemfuno zalo kwaye lifuna ukuthembeka ngelixa lihlala lihloniphekile.
• Ukuzithemba: Lo mgangatho ujongana nendlela umntu aziva ngayo malunga nesiqu sakhe kunye nokugcina imeko yolawulo lobomi bakhe.
• Ukuphepha: Iqabane elifumana amanqaku aphezulu kule nkalo yobudlelwane obushukumayo liya kuthoba ukunciphisa ukungavisisani kunye nokwala ukujongana okanye ukulungisa ngqo ukungqubana kubudlelwane.
• Ukubusa kweqabane: Kwizinto ezitshintshayo, ukulawulwa kweqabane kuchaza ukuba iqabane elinye alilawula ubudlelwane.

Ubungakanani beDynamics Scale, evavanya le miba ingentla, ifuna ukuba amalungu esi sibini athelekise iingxelo ezahlukeneyo kwisikali ukusuka ku-1 kuye ku-3, apho u-1 athetha ukuba isimilo senzeka phantse singabikho kubudlelwane, kwaye isi-3 sithetha ukuba senzeka rhoqo .

Umzekelo, isikali sicela umntu ukuba alinganise oku kulandelayo: “Xa sixambulisana, omnye wethu urhoxa ... oko akusafuni kuphinda uthethe ngako; okanye uyaphuma. ” Ukufumana amanqaku ama-3 kule nto kuya kuba kukucebisa ngokuphepha, okunokubangela ubudlelwane obungenampilo obunamandla.

Xa ubudlelwane bunamandla angathandekiyo ezibini, elinye iqabane linokungasebenzi okanye libenobunzima bokuchaza izimvo okanye iimvakalelo malunga nolwalamano. Iqabane eliswele ubungqongqo kubudlelwane linokongeza iimvakalelo kwaye lingayinanzi ingxabano, ikwabonisa ukuphepha.

Izinto eziguquguqukayo ezingenampilo zinokubandakanya ilungu elinye lobudlelwane lenza zonke izigqibo kunye nokuzama ukulawula elinye iqabane. Ngamanye amaxesha, oku kunokuba sisiphumo sokuba elinye lamaqabane libe nokuzithemba okuphantsi.

Nokuba zithini na amandla, ayisiyongozi okanye ayilulutho kulwalamano ukuba elinye iqabane libalasele ngelixa elinye liphepha ukungqubana kwaye kunzima ukubonakalisa iimfuno neemvakalelo zalo.

I-5 Dynamics kubudlelwane obusempilweni

Ngelixa impilo engathandekiyo yesibini isenokubandakanya ukuphepha ungquzulwano kunye / okanye umntu omnye olawula ubudlelwane, amandla aphilileyo kubudlelwane ahluke kwaphela.

Izinto eziguqukayo kubudlelwane obusempilweni zibandakanya umjikelo ofanelekileyo, ophawuleka ngokuzithemba okuphezulu kunye namanqanaba amakhulu okuqinisekisa. Oku kuba ngumjikelo olungileyo, kuba ukuzithemba ngakumbi kuthanda ukukhokelela ekwandeni kokuzithemba.

Xa omabini amaqabane ezithembile kwaye enxibelelana ngokuzithemba, ilungu ngalinye lobudlelwane liya kuba nakho ukuveza iimfuno zabo, iimfuno kunye neemvakalelo zabo, nto leyo edala amandla aphilileyo kubudlelwane.

Amandla aphilileyo esibini aquka amanqanaba asezantsi okulawula kunye nokuthintela. Xa ulawulo luphantsi, ubudlelwane buya kuba sempilweni, kuba omabini amaqabane kubudlelwane aya kuziva ukuba iimfuno zabo zibalulekile, kwaye banako ukuba nezwi kubudlelwane.

Xa ukuthintela kusezantsi, ukungavisisani kuyalungiswa endaweni yokutyhalelwa ecaleni. Oku kuvumela unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo kunye nokusonjululwa kwempixano esempilweni, ukuze ingqumbo ingakhi kulwalamano.

Njengoko u-Lungiselela / ucebisa, izinto ezine eziguqukayo kubudlelwane zihambelana kakhulu kwaye zinokukhokelela kubudlelwane obonwabisayo ukuba amandla asempilweni.

Umzekelo, ukuba amaqabane afumana amanqaku aphezulu kubudlelwane obunamandla bokuqinisekisa, amaqabane athambekele ekuthandaneni ngakumbi kwaye aneliseke kunxibelelwano lwawo.

Nazi ezinye zeempawu ezintlanu eziphezulu zedynamics esempilweni kubudlelwane:

• Uyakwazi ukuveza ngokucacileyo izimvo zakho, iimvakalelo kunye neemfuno ngaphandle kokuba nomsindo.
• Uziva ngathi iqabane lakho likujonga njengolinganayo, kwaye uyaliqonda iqabane lakho ukuba lilingana nawe.
• Uziva uqinisekile ngesiqu sakho.
• Uyakwazi ukulungisa ukungavisisani ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ungakuphephi ukungqubana ukuze ugcine uxolo.
• Uziva ukuba izimvo zakho, iimfuno, kunye nezinto ozifunayo kubudlelwane zibaluleke kanye njengeqabane lakho.

Jonga kwakhona: Iimpawu ezikubudlelwane obungenampilo.

Ngaba amandla angatshintsha kubudlelwane?

Nokuba izinto eziguqukayo kubudlelwane bakho zinempawu ezingalunganga njengokulawulwa kweqabane okanye ukuthintela, zinokutshintsha zibe ngcono. Iingcali zichaza ukuba amandla okufunda afundile, oko kuthetha ukuba abantu banokufunda iindlela ezintsha zokunxibelelana.

Ukuba izibini bezisebenzisa ubudlelwane obungenampilo njengamandla okuphepha, banokuziqhelanisa nezakhono ezinceda ubudlelwane babo bube sempilweni.

Umzekelo, ukuziqhelanisa nokuzimisela kunokukhokelela kumjikelo wokunxibelelana oqinisekileyo, apho omabini amaqabane anokuzithemba okuphezulu. Oku ke kunciphisa ukujikeleza okungalunganga, njengokulawulwa kweqabane kunye nokuthintela.

Ungawatshintsha amandla akho kubudlelwane ube ngcono ngokusebenzisa i Imodeli yokuqinisekisa ye-DESCLe modeli ibandakanya la manyathelo mane alandelayo:

D: Chaza ingxaki ngokufanelekileyo. Umzekelo, ungathi kwiqabane lakho, "Uphakamise ilizwi lakho wandibiza ngokuba ndonqena xa ndingazihlambanga izitya."

E: Chaza iimvakalelo zakho malunga nengxaki. Umzekelo, "Xa undibiza ngegama, ndaziva ndingento yanto, ndithukwa, ndalahlwa."

S: Chaza into ongathanda ukuba yenzeke ngokwahlukileyo kwixesha elizayo. Unokuthi, "Kwixesha elizayo, ndingathanda ukuba ungakuphakamisi ilizwi lakho kwaye ngokuzolileyo utsho ukuba kungaluncedo ukuhlamba izitya."

C: Chaza ukuba zeziphi iziphumo olindele ukuba zenzeke ukuba iqabane lakho alikwazi ukuhlonipha isicelo sakho. Oku kunokujongeka njengoku, “Ukuba awukwazi ukuthetha nam ungakhwazanga kwaye ubize amagama, izakuqhuba umlo phakathi kwethu.

Ukuziqhelanisa nesixhobo esingentla kunokunceda amandla akho kulwalamano ukuba atshintshe, ke unxibelelana ngokukuko phakathi komjikelo wobudlelwane obulungileyo. Oku kunokulungisa ulwalamano olubi olubandakanya amanqanaba aphezulu okuphepha kunye nolawulo lwamaqabane.

Kutheni le nto kubalulekile ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho kunye?

Ukuba ubhajwe kumjikelo ombi kunye nemicimbi engafanelekanga kubudlelwane, kubalulekile ukuthatha amanyathelo okuphucula amandla akho. Ukuphuculwa kweentshukumo kubudlelwane kubalulekile kwizizathu ezininzi:

• Ukutshintsha ulwalamano lwakho olunamandla kunokukunceda ukuba uhambelane ngcono.
• Ulwalamano olusempilweni olunamandla lunokuthintela wena neqabane lakho ekuhlukaneni okanye ekwahlukaneni.
• Ukuphuculwa kwezinto ezitshintshayo kunokukwenza wonwabe ngakumbi kwaye waneliseke ngakumbi lulwalamano.
• Uya kuziva uva ngakumbi kwaye uqondwe liqabane lakho ukuba amandla kubudlelwane aqinisekile.
• Ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho obunamandla kunokwandisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo.

Izizathu ezihlanu zokuphucula uguquko kubudlelwane obudweliswe apha ngasentla zibonisiwe kuphando. Umzekelo, isifundo esidibeneyo sabaphandi IYunivesithi yaseFlorida State kunye neDyunivesithi yaseAuckland ifumanise ukuba iipateni zonxibelelwano zinokunceda izibini ukuba zisombulule ukungavisisani ngokufanelekileyo.

Umzekelo, kuyanceda kwizibini ezisebenzisanayo ukuba zisebenzisane kwaye zihlale zinothando xa zisombulula iingxaki ezincinci. Oku kubonisa indlela ebaluleke ngayo imeko-bume esempilweni kubudlelwane.

Ukuba izinto eziguqukayo kubudlelwane azikho sempilweni, kubalulekile ukuziphucula ukuze wena neqabane lakho wonwabe yindlela enithetha ngayo omnye komnye kwaye wanelisekile linqanaba lokusondelelana kubudlelwane bakho. Ekugqibeleni, oku kunokwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele kwaye banelise.

Olunye uphononongo oludibeneyo luthetha ngezibonelelo zedynamics yolwalamano olusempilweni. Olu phononongo lufumanise ukuba zombini ulwazelelelo kunye nemfesane zinxulunyaniswe namazinga aphezulu okwoneliseka emtshatweni. Oku kuyabethelela ukubaluleka kokuziphatha kakuhle kunye nentlonipho kunxibelelwano kubudlelwane bakho.

Okokugqibela, isifundo se-2016 kwifayile ye- Ijenali yengqondo ifumanise ukuba izibini ezitshatileyo ezoneliseke ngokubanzi kulwalamano lwazo ngabanxibelelanisi abanobuchule ngakumbi, zithambekele ekuboniseni unxibelelwano oluqinisekileyo kunye nonxibelelwano olubi. Oku kubonisa ukuba amandla asempilweni kubudlelwane ahamba indlela ende.

Iindlela ezi-5 zokutshintsha ulwalamano lwakho

Ukuba ujonge ukutshintsha ulwalamano lwakho ukuze uphephe iindlela zokunxibelelana ezingalunganga, unxibelelwano olungenampilo, kunye nokwahlukana kobudlelwane, kukho iindlela onokuzisebenzisa ukuphucula. Nazi ezinye ezintlanu eziphezulu:

• Ziqhelanise nokuzithemba usebenzisa isixhobo se-DESC. Ukonyusa ukuzithemba kubaluleke ngakumbi, ngenxa yokuba kunokukunceda ujonge iqabane lakho ngokuqinisekileyo.
• Yenza inzame zokumamela iqabane lakho. Uninzi lwabantu abonwabileyo baxela ukuba amaqabane abo ngabaphulaphuli abalungileyo.
• Yeka ukuphepha ungquzulwano. Ubudlelwane obunamandla bokuthintela sesinye sezikhalazo ezilishumi eziphezulu kwizibini ezitshatileyo, ngokophando.
• Kuphephe ukubeka iqabane lakho phantsi ngexesha lokungaboni ngasonye. Oku kungakhokelela kumandla angenampilo okuphepha kwaye kunxulunyaniswa nokungonwabi kubudlelwane.
• Vulela ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho; uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo kubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo banqwenela oku kumaqabane abo. Ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo kunceda ukuba ube nokuzithemba kwaye kuthintele ukuphepha kulwalamano.

Ukuphumeza ezi zicwangciso zilapha ngasentla kunokukunceda uphume kumjikelo ongathandekiyo ukuze isibini sakho sibe namandla sibe sempilweni kwaye singenamathuba okubangela ukungoneliseki kubudlelwane.

Iingcebiso ngokulawula imiceli mngeni yobudlelwane

Ukuba unengxaki yokulawula imiceli mngeni kubudlelwane, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba izinto eziguqukayo zihlala zitshintsha. Unokuziva ukuba ubhajwe kumjikelo wokunxibelelana okungalunganga neqabane lakho, kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha, ukuziqhelanisa, kunye nomonde, ungahambela phambili.

Ukujongana nemingeni eguqukayo kubudlelwane:

• Thetha neqabane lakho malunga nezinto ongathanda ukuzibona zitshintsha kwisibini esinamandla. Khumbula ukunqanda ukubeka phantsi nokunxibelelana ngokuzithemba. Kubalulekile ukuba nobabini nikwiphepha elinye kwaye nizimisele ukwenza inzame ezifunekayo zokutshintsha.
• Nje ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokwenza utshintsho, kuyafuneka ukuba ulinike ixesha. Awunakho ukubona utshintsho ngobusuku obunye, kwaye kulungile. Khumbula, utshintsha isimilo okanye imikhwa yokufunda, kwaye kungafuneka ube nomonde kwiqabane lakho kunye nawe njengoko ufunda iindlela ezintsha zokunxibelelana.

Yise kude

Ukuba wenze iinzame zokuphucula ubudlelwane bakho kwaye awukaziboni iinguqu onokuthi uzithande, isenokuba lixesha lokuba usebenze nomcebisi wesibini ukukunceda ufunde ngeendlela ezintsha zobudlelwane.

Ngamanye amaxesha, umntu wesithathu ongathathi hlangothi unokukunceda ukuba usombulule imiba ekunzima kakhulu ukuba usebenze ngokwakho.