Umxholo
- Ukubeka abantwana embindini
- Ukuhla ngendlela yamakhoboka
- Ukuthandana okungaphaya
- Ukulwa ne kungekudala-to-be-ex
- Isantya ngomsindo
- Ukuthengisa iimpahla ezilungileyo
- Ukusika ngaphandle
Ukuphatha uqhawulo mtshato njengemeko apho ufuna ukuphumelela enye kuya kukukhathaza ngakumbi kunye neentlungu. Akufanele kubekho abaphumeleleyo okanye abalahlekileyo, kodwa kunoko uthethathethwano oluphucukileyo kunye nolungelelwaniso.
Ukuba le ibiyingxoxo yeshishini, ungayijonga njani? Yintoni onokuyihlola ukuqinisekisa ukuba omabini amacala anelisekile sisivumelwano?
Khumbula, ukuba elinye lamaqabane livakalelwa ngathi lilahlekile kule meko abantwana baphulukana ngokuqinisekileyo. Bafuna abazali babo ukuba bonwabe ukuba baya kukhulisa abantwana abonwabileyo. Ke ngoko, makhe sijonge kwinto ongenakukwazi ukuyenza ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato ukuba ufuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba wena nabantwana bakho niyaphuma ngaphandle koncedo.
Ukubeka abantwana embindini
Uqhawulo-mtshato lunzima kusapho luphela, kwaye abantwana bayasokola ukuluqonda kwaye bazivumelanise nalo. Oku sele kunzima kubo, ke ngoko kunqande ukuyenza ibe nzima ngakumbi.
Yintoni ongenakuyenza xa uqhawula umtshato? Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, ungenzi nantoni na enyanzela umntwana wakho ukuba abonakalise iimpawu ezivuthiweyo ngaphambi kweminyaka yakhe, ebaqhekeza ngobumsulwa babo. Musa ukuvumela ukuba bangene kwindawo enobuqhophololo yobungqongqo.
Kunqande ukuphatha umntwana wakho njengonyango, umthunywa okanye indlebe enobubele kumlomo ombi.
Abantwana bakho bakukhathalele kwaye baya kuphendula kwezi zicelo uzibeke phambi kwabo ngenxa yothando. Nangona kunjalo, akufuneki beve ulwazi olungathandekiyo malunga nokuba ngabazali okanye bathathe indima yokuba ngumgcini wabazali.
Thembela kubahlobo bakho nakwingcali yengqondo ukuze bakuxhase ukoyisa le meko, hayi abantwana bakho. Kufanele ukuba babekhona ukuze bakwange kwaye bakuthande njengoko babesenza ngaphambi komtshato.
Sukungena ebantwaneni, ubacenge okanye ubathintele ekuchitheni ixesha komnye umzali okanye unyanzelise olwakho uluvo ngemeko leyo kubo.
Ngokukhethekileyo, baya kuba nakho ukwenza izigqibo zabo nokuba awuvumelani kwaye uxhomekeke kuwe ngenkxaso kunye nenkathalo. Eyona nto banokuzigweba ngayo ngoqhawulo mtshato, kwaye kuya kufuneka ubenakho ukubakhulula kwityala labo endaweni yokongeza kuyo.
Yabelana nabo ngombono wakho kuphela xa usukulungele ukwamkela into ekufuneka beyivakalisile kungakhathalekile ukuba iimbono zabo zahluke njani kwezakho.
Ukuhla ngendlela yamakhoboka
Uqhawulo-mtshato lixesha loxinzelelo oluphezulu xa uqonda ukuba awusenakuthembela kwiqabane lakho kwiimfuno ezininzi, njengokuxhasa uvakalelo, ukuhleka, ukonwaba, inkxaso yemali, isiqinisekiso somtsalane, njl.
Kungenzeka ukuba, uya kukhangela iindlela zokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo. Yintoni ongenakuyenza xa uqhawula umtshato?
Rhoqo abantu babuyela ekutshayeni okanye bathathe amakhoboka amatsha njengendlela yexeshana yokuphelisa intlungu kunye nentlungu. Ngelixa oku kunokubonelela ukubaleka okwethutyana kwintlungu, iya kuba kukudibanisa iingxaki ezininzi osele ujongene nazo.
Endaweni yoko, thetha nomhlobo, uphume, uqhagamshele kwaye uqaphele ukuba unakho ukonwaba ebomini bakho nakubantu onokubathemba. Umnyango usenokuba uvaliwe, kodwa ukuba ujonga ngononophelo uya kuqaphela ukuba kuvulwe ifestile.
Kuyo yonke into oyaziyo, umbono ovela kuyo uyonwabisa, kodwa uya kwazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba uzama ukujonga.
Ukuthandana okungaphaya
Kungangcungcuthekisa ukucinga ukuba uwedwa emva kwalo lonke elo xesha ulichithe neqabane lakho.
Uninzi luzama ukungcwaba intlungu phantsi kwemihla engenakubalwa ekufuneka izalise ukungabikho. Ayizukuphela koku ukuyeka ukujongana nentlungu kunokukudina kwaye kukuthintele ekulawuleni imeko.
Oku kusenokubonakala kungaqhelekanga kubantwana bakho xa bebona le ndlela intsha yokuziphatha yokuphuma rhoqo ebusuku. Banokuziva bengenakuxhomekeka kuwe kuba awukho. Ngenxa yoko, zama ukufezekisa ibhalansi kwaye uthathe inyathelo elinye ngelo xesha. Ngaphandle kokuziva ulungile okanye wonwabile ngoqhawulo mtshato, zinike kunye nabantwana bakho ixesha lokuziqhelanisa.
Nangona uqhawulo-mtshato lungangothusi kuwe, abantwana bakho khange balindele kwaye utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela oziphethe ngayo lunokubenza boyike.
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokunikezela ngexesha lokuthandana dibanisa esi sihloko nabantwana bakho kuqala. Thetha nabo kwaye ubancede baqonde umbono wakho kunye nokubaluleka koku oku kuwe. Chaza kwaye ubonise ukuba ukuthandana akuyi kukuthintela ekubeni ngumzali ozinikeleyo, beka bucala ixesha labo bodwa ukuze beve kwaye babone indlela abaluleke ngayo nakuwe.
Ukulwa ne kungekudala-to-be-ex
Ukugcina incoko ephucukileyo kunye ne-ex yakho yeyona nto inzima ukubaleka.
Nangona kunjalo, kubaluleke kakhulu njengoko kunzima ukudlula.
Isibonelelo esinye esibalulekileyo sabantwana kukukwazi ukuqonda ukuba abazali babo banxibelelana njengabantu abadala kwaye bafunde ukuba ukwahlukana akulingani ngxabano okanye ukungabi nantlonelo.
Ukongeza, ukuhlala kubudlelwane obuhloniphekileyo kunye nolwakhayo kunye ne ex ngekhe kuthintele kuphela kodwa kusombulule eminye yemicimbi. Uthethathethwano luya kuba lula, izivumelwano ziya kuba lula ukuzenza kunye nonxibelelwano lube nemveliso kwaye lulawulwe.
Ukugcina intloko epholileyo kunye nonxibelelwano olwakhayo kuya kuba nembuyekezo njengoko amalungiselelo owenzayo aya kukunceda kwiminyaka ezayo.
Isantya ngomsindo
Sonke siyazi ukuba iimvakalelo zichaphazela indlela esiyijonga ngayo le meko kwaye siphendule ngayo. Ngokusekwe kukuqonda kwethu imeko, sithatha amanyathelo athile.
Yintoni ongenakuyenza xa uqhawula umtshato? Kunqande ukwenza naziphi na izigqibo ukuba uphantsi kweempembelelo zeemvakalelo, ngendlela efanayo onokuthintela ukuzenza phantsi kwempembelelo yento ethile.
Thatha ixesha lokufumana umbono kwaye ujongane neemvakalelo zakho ngaphambi kokujongana nazo naziphi na izivumelwano kunye nomntu wakudala okanye wenze naluphi na utshintsho olukhulu kubomi. Umzekelo, sukuthatha isigqibo sokutshintsha umsebenzi, isixeko okanye ilizwe ungakhange ucinge ngalo njengoko oku kunokuchaphazela ukugqitywa koqhawulo-mtshato.
Kwimeko apho kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo esikhawulezayo, jika kwinethiwekhi yakho- abahlobo, usapho kunye negqwetha. Yabelana nabo ngexhala lakho, ukhetho lwezisombululo kwaye ubavumele ukuba bakuncede ucime intloko ngaphambi kokwenza ukhetho.
Ukongeza, thintela ukwenza into ngokungxama kunye nokuzithemba kuba oku kuyakwenza ukuba umntu wakho wakudala azive esongelwa kwaye aziphindezele. Awuzukuziva unomsindo kwaye wenzakalise ubomi bakho bonke ingakumbi ukuba usebenza kule nto, kodwa unokufumana ubunzima bezenzo ezimbi nezingalindelekanga ezenziwe ngumsindo ixesha elide.
Ukuthengisa iimpahla ezilungileyo
Unokuziva ulingeka ukuba uthengise okanye ugqithisele ukufaneleka okanye imali ethathwa njengomtshato.
Nangona kunjalo, le ndlela yokuziphatha izakulimaza imeko yakho wakube ume phambi kwejaji. Ayizukuphazamisa kuphela ulwalamano lwakho ne ex, kodwa inokuchaphazela ngokungathanga ngqo ulwalamano lwakho nabantwana.
Yintoni ongenakuyenza xa uqhawula umtshato?
Ungaze ufike emva kwexesha okanye uphoswe yintlawulo yenkxaso yabazali kuba oku kuya kuchaphazela abantwana bakho.
Nangona izakubeka iqabane lakho kwilishwa kwaye inokubangela ukuba uzive ulungile okomzuzwana, ekugqibeleni uya kuzisola ngokwenza oko xa uqaphela indlela ebachaphazele ngayo abantwana bakho.
Ukusika ngaphandle
Ukuphendula kwakho kwendalo kuya kuba kukusika umntu wakho wakudala ebomini bakho kangangoko kunokwenzeka, kodwa cinga ngaphambi kokuba wenze ngale mvakalelo. Kungenzeka ukuba ungakonwabela ukubasusa kwezonyango, kwi-inshurensi yobomi okanye kwiiakhawunti zomhlala-phantsi.
Nokuba ukoneliseka kangakanani, isenzo esinjalo sinokugqibela sikubiza ngaphezulu, umzekelo kwimeko kaxakeka okanye ukusweleka. Ke thetha negqwetha lakho ngaphambi kokwenza nantoni na ukuze uqonde iinzuzo kunye nelahleko ezinokubakho.
Ngapha koko, mancinci amathuba okuba ungaze usike i-ex ebomini bakho ngokulungileyo ngenxa yempilo-ntle yabantwana bakho. Usenokucinga ngokuthintela amalungelo okundwendwela. Ndiyathemba ukuba ishiye ngokukhawuleza.
Ayisiyongozi kwaphela kwinkqubela phambili yengqondo yabantwana bakho ngaphandle kokuba i-ex ayingomntu ofanelekileyo wobuzali, kodwa inokubangela iingxaki zenkxaso kunye ne-ex kunye nenkundla.
Endaweni yokuzama ukunciphisa i-ex ebomini bakho, zama ukubasusa engqondweni nasentliziyweni yakho. Ungaphilisa kwanabo ebomini bakho.
Phila ubomi bakho, ke uziva ungazidingi okanye uziphose kwakhona. Ukuphila ubomi obanelisayo yeyona nto unokuzenzela yona kunye nabantwana bakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato.