Umxholo
- Ihlisa iimvakalelo zakho zokuziva ungaxabisekanga
- Inokwenza wonke umntu abe novakalelo ngakumbi kwaye alungele ngakumbi ukulwa
- Inokulungisa ulonwabo lomntu wonke
- Inokukhokelela omnye okanye bobabini ukuba bafune uthando kwezinye iindawo
- Isenokuba yintoni ekugqibeleni ekhokelela ekwahlukaneni okanye kuqhawulo mtshato
Xa isondo sishiya umtshato sinokubandakanya imiceli mngeni emininzi emtshatweni.
Sonke sikhe sangena kumahla ndinyuka emtshatweni, kwaye namaxesha ngaphandle kokulalana kunokuba yinto eqhelekileyo. Ngokukodwa ngamaxesha oxinzelelo kunye nokugula, isondo asiyonto iphambili, kwaye ayifanelanga ukuba njalo.
Cinga xa unomntwana omtsha, okanye unesifo esandisiweyo. Ayisiyonto kuphela yesondo ayibalulekanga ngamaxesha anje ngala, ngamanye amaxesha ayide ibe kwi-radar. Ngethemba kwezo meko, kwakamsinya nje xa kushiya uxinzelelo, ukubuya kwesondo kwaye konke kubuyele esiqhelweni.
Kodwa kukho okwahlukileyo nokuhla emtshatweni, apho ayisiyiyo enye into ngaphandle kokukhukhula. Ngokwesiqhelo ayisiyonjongo.
Sisebenza kakhulu, okanye ezinye izinto zisendleleni. Endaweni yokugxila emtshatweni, luhlobo lwee-gravates ezibhekisa kwisitovu esingasemva, silibele okwethutyana. Kwinkqubo, isini iba yinto yexesha elidlulileyo. Siba ngabantu esingabaziyo, ngamanye amaxesha siziva ngathi sihlala kunye kunezibini ezitshatileyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abatshatileyo banokuhamba iiveki, iinyanga, okanye iminyaka bengakhange babelane ngesondo. Nokuba yintoni "ixesha elide" liya kwahluka kwisibini kwisibini.
Ngelixa ezinye izibini zibonakala zisebenza zilungile ngaphandle kwelo candelo emtshatweni wabo, abanye bayaqaphela ukuba icala elilahlekileyo lomtshato, kunye neemvakalelo ezingalunganga ziqala ukulandela. Kwizibini ezininzi, umtshato ongabelani ngesondo ungavakala njengomtshato owonwabileyo.
Zeziphi iintlobo zeemvakalelo ezingalunganga ezinokubangelwa kukusilela kwesondo?
Ihlisa iimvakalelo zakho zokuziva ungaxabisekanga
Xa indoda nomfazi bengasathandani, omnye okanye bobabini banokuqala ukucinga ukuba ibiyimpazamo yabo. Iingcinga ezinje ngala, "Mandibe mbi kakhulu okanye ndityebe kakhulu," okanye ezinye iingcinga ezimbi ngawe.
Ngokude ukuba olu hlobo lokucinga luyekwe ukuba luqhubeke, kokukhona ezi mvakalelo zinokuya.
Emva kwethutyana omnye okanye bobabini banokuziva behlukaniswe kakhulu nomtshato kungekho mnqweno ushiyekileyo wokuvuselela umtshato ongabelani ngesondo.
Inokwenza wonke umntu abe novakalelo ngakumbi kwaye alungele ngakumbi ukulwa
Xa isondo sishiya umtshato, indoda nomfazi bathambekele ekubeni bazive besesichengeni kwaye benovakalelo.
Xa iingxaki zesini kubudlelwane zisanda, zihlala zishiya omabini amaqabane ecaphukile.
Banokuthatha konke okuncinci ngokuthe ngqo. Izinto ezincinci zivakalelwa njengezinto ezinkulu. Kusenokuqubuka iimfazwe. Iimpendulo kunokuba nzima ngakumbi. Ke wonke umntu uhlala esecaleni ngalo lonke ixesha, ezibuza ukuba omnye uza kuyiphatha njani kuyo yonke into encinci.
Ingakhokelela ekwahlukaneni ngakumbi komnye nomnye ukugcina nje ukuba iimfazwe zingenzeki.
Inokulungisa ulonwabo lomntu wonke
Ewe ungonwaba ngaphandle kwesondo. Kunzima ukonwaba ngaphandle kwayo.
Ke, ngaba umtshato ongabelani ngesondo ungasindiswa? Xa izibini zigqiba ukwenza ukubuyisela ubudlelwane basekhaya emtshatweni kube yeyona nto iphambili, zenza indlela elungileyo ekhokelela ekwakheni ukusondelelana emtshatweni kunye nokonwabela ubomi besondo obuphilileyo.
Ukwabelana ngesondo ngokwakho kuyonwabisa kwaye kukhupha iihormone ezimangalisayo ezonyusa uvuyo lwethu kwaye zikhuphe uxinzelelo.
Ke ukuba wongeza ulwalamano olusondele ngokweemvakalelo, xa abantu ababini abathandana ngokwenene kwaye bapha omnye nomnye besabelana ngesondo, kungaphezulu kokukwanelisa ngokwasemzimbeni-kuyanelisa ngokweemvakalelo.
Amaqabane athambekele ekuhlaleni ngcono kwaye athandana ngakumbi xa isondo siqhelekile kwaye silungile. Xa kungenzeki kwaphela kubude obude kwaye xa ukusondelelana kushiya umtshato, kunokubangela ulonwabo lomntu wonke.
Inokukhokelela omnye okanye bobabini ukuba bafune uthando kwezinye iindawo
Xa isondo lishiya ubudlelwane, siqala ukuziva singathandwa kwaye singonelisekanga.
Ngelixa lingakuthetheleli, ngamanye amaxesha ukungabikho kwesondo kunokuba sisiqalo salo okanye omabini amalungu esi sibini akhangele uthando kwezinye iindawo. "Uthando" lunokuthetha "inkanuko" kule meko.
Inokuba kukungathembeki, okanye ubudlelwane beplato kolunye uhlobo nomnye umntu, okanye inokuba kukuntywila entloko ukuqala ishishini elitsha, iklabhu, okanye enye into enika inzaliseko elahlekileyo emtshatweni.
Kweminye imitshato, oko kunokuthetha ukuqala kweziyobisi ezingamanyala.
Isenokuba yintoni ekugqibeleni ekhokelela ekwahlukaneni okanye kuqhawulo mtshato
Ngelishwa, imitshato emininzi iphela ngoqhawulo-mtshato, kwaye oyena nobangela mkhulu kukungahambelani ngokwesondo.
Kunokubakho zonke iintlobo zezizathu zemicimbi yesondo emtshatweni, kodwa isiphelo sesokuba isondo siwushiyile umtshato, kwaye esi sibini ngoku siziva sisilele ngandlela thile; ke ngoko kubonakala ngathi ekuphela kwesigqibo esisengqiqweni kukuqhawula umtshato.
Oku kubuza umbuzo, ungawulungisa njani umtshato ongabelani ngesondo?
Xa isondo liwushiya umtshato, kubalulekile ukuba ungavumeli iimvakalelo zenzondo zikhule. Yiba nengxoxo evulelekileyo ngokukhawuleza.
Ngelishwa, ukuthetha ngendlovu egumbini (ukungabikho kwesondo) kunokuba neentloni kwaye kunzima ukuthetha ngako.
Kubalulekile ukusondela kwisifundo ngononophelo kwaye ungakhombisi ngeminwe. Xelela omnye umntu ukuba ubakhumbula kangakanani, kwaye unethemba lokuba ninokudibana ngokwasemoyeni nangokwasemzimbeni.
Xa isondo sishiya umtshato kunye nezinto zinzima ngakumbi, licebo elihle ukuthetha kwincutshe yomtshato. Ukuba iqabane lakho alizukuhamba nawe, hamba wedwa okwangoku.
Imicimbi enje ayipheleli nje okanye izisombulule.
Ke endaweni yokuzibuza, ukuba ungajongana njani nobudlelwane obungabelani ngesondo, zama ukulungisa izinto, kodwa yazi ukuba kungathatha ixesha ukuba amanxeba aphole kuqala, kwaye emva koko inkqubo yokwakha inokuqala.
Qala ukuxabisa isondo njengenxalenye ebalulekileyo yolwalamano lwakho.
Ngemizamo engaguquguqukiyo uyakufumana uncedo kwindlela yokuvuselela umtshato ngaphandle kwesondo kwaye usendleleni eya ekuwunandiseni umtshato ngaphandle kwesondo.