Umxholo
- Yintoni eyenza ubudlelwane busebenze?
- Iindlela zokuziva usondele ngokukhawuleza kwiqabane lakho
- Iindlela zokuqinisekisa ukuba iqabane lakho liziva lithandwa
Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo sisiseko somtshato omnandi.
Isibini esinokuphumeza ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo kunye nokwakha unxibelelwano olomeleleyo lweemvakalelo zezi uyakwazi ukubeka emngciphekweni wokuba sesichengeni.
U-Erik, 42, no-Amanda, 40, isibini endisicebisile kutshanje beze eofisini yam befuna ukomeleza unxibelelwano lwabo ngenxa yoxinzelelo emva kokubhubha ngesiquphe kukamama ka-Amanda kunye no-Erik bengayi emsebenzini kwaye bengakwazi ukumxhasa ngexesha lakhe ixesha lentlungu enzulu.
UAmanda ukubeka ngolu hlobo, “Iinyanga ezintandathu zokugqibela bezinzima kakhulu emva kokusweleka kukamama kwaye uErik ebengekho kakhulu, kwaye sahlukana. Wayengekho xa ndandimdinga kwaye ndakhulisa inzondo kwaye ndaqala ukungamthembi, ndisoyika ukuba angadibana nomnye umntu okanye athandane nam. ”
U-Erik uphendule wathi, “Unyanisile uAmanda kwaye ndiziva ndibuhlungu ngale nto. Ndifuna nje ithuba lokuyenza kuye. Iprojekthi endandisebenza kuyo yayiquka ukuphuma kurhulumente kwaye andinakuyala. Lixesha elibi kwaye ndiyamthanda uAmanda kwaye ndifuna ukumngqinela. ”
Ukuhlakulela ukusondelelana kubandakanya ukuzivumela ukuba ubuthathaka kwaye uthembele kwiqabane lakho.
Lonke ulwalamano lunoxinzelelo ngamanye amaxesha. Okwangoku, kubalulekile ukuba amaqabane asebenzise olo xinzelelo ukuze babe nokuzibandakanya ngokweemvakalelo, bathandane ngokwasemzimbeni, kwaye bavuleke malunga neengcinga zabo, iimvakalelo kunye neminqweno yabo.
Yintoni eyenza ubudlelwane busebenze?
Izibini ezonwabileyo zinokukhawuleza ukufumanisa ukuba imicimbi yazo yokuthembela isuka kubudlelwane babo ngoku okanye intsalela yeemvakalelo eyadlulayo.
Ukuba wenza uvavanyo olunonophele lwembali yakho kunye nembali yeqabane lakho, uya kuyeka ukuphinda okwadlulayo.
Kuyenzeka ukuba ujongane ngokufanelekileyo neziporho zakudala ngokwandisa ukuthembana omnye komnye ngamazwi nangezenzo ezihambelana nothando, umbono wexesha elide ngomtshato.
Umzekelo, u-Amanda wakwazi ukufumanisa kunyango lwezibini ukuba imicimbi yakhe yokuthembela yaqala ebuntwaneni bakhe ukusukela oko utata wakhe wangcatsha umama wakhe kangangeminyaka xa wayengumqhubi wetrakhi kwaye eqhubela eFlorida ixesha elide.
Ngenxa yoko, uAmanda uxelele u-Erik ukuba ngoku uye waqonda ukuba ukungazithembi kwakhe kubangelwe lixesha lakhe elidlulileyo kwaye iimvakalelo zakhe zaba namandla ngakumbi xa wayephuma kurhulumente.
Ngamanye amagama, kuba zonke izibini ziza nempahla, kubalulekile ukuba uxoxe ngokukhululekileyo ngezinto ezibangela iimvakalelo, amava adlulileyo, kunye nemicimbi yokuthembana kwangethuba kubudlelwane bakho. Le ncoko ivulekileyo iya kunceda ukomeleza umanyano lwakho xa kuvela amathandabuzo angenakuphepheka okanye ulwaphulo lwentembeko.
Iindlela zokuziva usondele ngokukhawuleza kwiqabane lakho
Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokuthembana kuyahambelana, kwaye izibini ezinamathelayo ezikhuselekileyo zinokuchaza iimfuno kunye nezinto abazithandayo.
Enye yeendlela zomlilo zokwenza iqabane lakho liziva lithandwa kukunyusa umnqweno kunye neenkanuko kubudlelwane bakho.
Kwangokunjalo, amasiko emihla ngemihla njengokuchukumisa, ukudibana ngamehlo, ukuphulaphula nokuthetha ngamava abo, aya kuvumela amaqabane ukuba asondelelane ngokweemvakalelo kwaye abonakalise inkanuko ngakumbi emtshatweni wabo.
Ubundlobongela yimvakalelo yokuziva ubonwe zizibini ezitshatileyo xa zibamba, zibona, zingcamla, kwaye ziziva- njengokuhamba ubambe izandla elunxwemeni.
Kubandakanya okungaphezulu kunokwabelana ngesondo.
Ubukrelekrele yindlela yokunxibelelana neqabane lakho ngalo mzuzu, ngokukaHoward J.Markman, Ph.D., kwaye ibonakalisa iimvakalelo zokuba sothandweni kwaye utsaleleke kwiqabane lakho.
Iindlela zokuqinisekisa ukuba iqabane lakho liziva lithandwa
Endaweni yokuba usilele kwiindlela zokulwa ozivelisileyo kwiintsapho zakho zemvelaphi, kubalulekile ukuba uzinikele ekukhuliseni unxibelelwano oluqinisekileyo lweemvakalelo.
Ke, zeziphi ezinye zezinto onokuzithetha kwiqabane lakho ukomeleza unxibelelwano lwakho?
Yenza umgudu obonakalayo wokubandakanya izimvo ezintle, amabinzana, okanye imibuzo kwiincoko zakho kunye neqabane lakho.
Le ncoko ilandelayo ibonisa ezinye zeendlela u-Amanda no-Erik abakwenze ngazo oku xa behlangana kwakhona ekupheleni kosuku.
UErik: “Ungandixelela nangakumbi ngemini yakho?” La magama abonisa uthando luthakazelelo ngelixa unceda iqabane lakho likhululeke ngakumbi ekubeni sesichengeni.
UAmanda: “Into endicel'umngeni ngayo ngoku yindlela yokuziphatha kwinqununu yam. Ingathi akukho nto ndinokuyenza kakuhle. ” Impendulo ka-Amanda ibonisa u-Erik ukuba uyamthemba ngokwaneleyo ukuba angathetha phandle ngeemvakalelo zakhe ezimbi malunga nomphathi wakhe.
UErik: “Ndizama ukuqonda ukuba ujongene nantoni. Kuba andisebenzi esikolweni, ungandinika umzekelo wento ojongana nayo? Impendulo kaErik ibonisa uvelwano kunye nomnqweno wokunxibelelana ngokunzulu ngakumbi noAmanda.
UAmanda: “Ithetha lukhulu kum into yokuba ukhathalele ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungabuza. Ndidiniwe ukuba ndingene kwiinkcukacha ngoku, kodwa masithi, kuvakala ngathi ulapha ngenxa yam kwaye kuyandonwabisa oko. ”
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane obutsha, kukho okuninzi okunomdla kunye nolonwabo, kodwa yintoni egcina ubudlelwane obonwabileyo nobusempilweni kukukhuthaza ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo ngokuba sesichengeni nokwakha ukuthembana imihla ngemihla.
Nje ukuba uxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla lokuhlala kunye lusebenze, kunokuba ngumceli mngeni kwizibini ezitshatileyo ukongeza ukulunga omnye komnye kwaye uhlale uzinikele ekufezekiseni imvakalelo yemihla ngemihla.
Eyona ndlela iphambili izibini ezinokukwenza ngayo oku kukwenza nzulu ukuncamathiselwa kwazo ngencoko yemihla ngemihla ecace gca ngaphandle koloyiko lokushiywa okanye ukulahleka kothando.