Umxholo
- Nangona kunjalo ndifuna ukuba yinyani, kuba ukutshata yinto enkulu
- Imfihlelo Yokuphumelela
- Musa ukuzinza 'ngesiqhelo
Ukutshata? Ayisiyonto encinci leyo.
Ngokufutshane nje ngobomi, kuninzi kakhulu okwenzekayo ngexesha labo, kwaye ukuthatha isigqibo sokutshata kuthetha ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuhamba kuwo onke amajikojiko kunye nokujika kohambo lobomi kunye - nokuba kwenzeka ntoni. Kuya kuba nzima, kwaye kuya kuba nzima, nokuba ungathandani kakhulu, kwaye kuyakubakho amaxesha, naxa uziva utyumkile kwaye uwedwa kwaye ungenathemba malunga nolwalamano lwakho (kwaye loyikeka njengoko kuvakala njalo, amaxesha anjalo aqhelekanga) ... aniyi kushiya omnye komnye. Awuyi kunikezela ngothando lwakho.
Ukutshata kuthetha ukuba uluvalile ucango lokushiya. Kungcono okanye kubi, nina nobabini nikule nto ngoku andithethi ukuba oku kungumbono omdaka okanye owoyikisayo ngomtshato. Ngokwenza oku ukuzibophelela komnye nomnye, unokuqiniseka ukuba awusoze uphinde uhlangabezane nemiceli mngeni yobomi uwedwa. Uneqabane lakho lobomi, umlingane, umhlobo osenyongweni, iqabane kunye nomthandi. Unomntu onokwabelana naye ngako konke okuhle, okuhle, kunye nokutshintsha kobomi ngokunjalo. Kwaye yinto yokubhiyozela ngokwenyani. Komnye nomnye, niyifumene into endiyikholelwayo umntu ngamnye ayikhangela. Ndiyakuvuyela!
Nangona kunjalo ndifuna ukuba yinyani, kuba ukutshata yinto enkulu
Njengokuba sinqwenela ukufana nezibini zezizukulwana ezidlulileyo-ukuhlala kwimitshato yethu ubomi bakho bonke, ukuguga nothando lobomi bethu-inyani kukuba siphila kwinkcubeko apho, ngelixa uninzi lwezibini zifikelela kwiminyaka yabo yamashumi amahlanu, phantse isiqingatha sabo baya kuqhawula umtshato okanye bohlukane (I-Kennedy kunye neRuggles, 2014). Ngenxa yobalo oluqinisekileyo, ingcinga yokwenza ngalo lonke ixesha lokuphila kunye linokubonakala linzima. Kodwa ungaze woyike, UNGAYENZA.
Iyacetyiswa Ikhosi yangaphambi komtshato
Imfihlelo Yokuphumelela
Ndingathanda ukwabelana ngemfihlo encinci endiyifundileyo ngomtshato, kwaye ndicinga ukuba iyakuqinisa ubudlelwane obungcwele phakathi kwakho nalowo uza kuba liqabane lakho nangakumbi. Nika ingqalelo, kuba andicingi ukuba abantu abaninzi bayayazi le nto.
Umtshato ngumatshini okhulisa abantu: Kubudlelwane bakho, uya kudibana ngqo nemiceli mngeni oyifunayo ukuze ukhule kwaye upolishe imiphetho yakho. Umtshato wakho uya kukunika ithuba elaneleyo lokuba ube lolona hlobo lwakho lubalaseleyo. Ukwazi oku, ungawaqonda amaxesha anzima ukuba anjani-amathuba okucoca indlu kunye nokukhanya.
Cinga ukuba kwisizukulwana sethu, silindele lukhulu emtshatweni, mhlawumbi ngaphezulu kwezizukulwana ezidlulileyo. Kule mihla, umtshato awuyonto nje yokuba neqabane, okanye malunga nokukhulisa abantwana, okanye malunga nokufumana ukhuseleko lwezezimali, njengokuba kwakunjalo ngaphambili. Umtshato, ngoku, umalunga nokukhulisa imiphefumlo yethu, ukunxibelelana nomnye umntu kwinqanaba lokusondelelana nokhuseleko akufane kwenzeke ukuba kufikelelwe. Imalunga nokwaziwa ngokupheleleyo, nokwazi omnye ngokupheleleyo, nokwamkelwa kunye nokunqulwa kuko konke ukuntsonkotha nobunzima. Silindele ukuba umtshato ube ngamava othando olunzulu, uvelwano, uthando, ukuzonwabisa, ukhuseleko, kunye nobunye kwimeko yokuhlala ngokwahlukileyo, entle, ehlonitshwayo, nexabisekileyo. Kodwa ukufezekisa olu hlobo lobudlelwane ngumsebenzi onzima! Kuyothusa, kusemngciphekweni, ngamanye amaxesha nokuba ngumsebenzi obuhlungu ... kwaye, ndiyakholelwa, ikwangowona msebenzi unomvuzo kwaye wanelisayo esinokuwenza.
Ndicinga, mhlawumbi, ukuba esinye sezizathu zokuphela kwemitshato kungenxa yokuba abantu bengayiqondi le mfihlakalo ngaphambi kokuba batshate. Bangena emtshatweni kunye nazo zonke izinto ezintle ezilindelwe ngumtshato, kodwa babe nolwazi oluncinci ngendlela umtshato osinyanzela ukuba sikhule ngayo okanye ukuba kunzima kanjani ngamanye amaxesha. Sikhula ngombono wokuthandana ukuba uthando kunye nomtshato lulonwabo kunye nolonwabo ngonaphakade, kwaye xa kungenjalo, abantu bayayeka. Okanye singena emtshatweni silindele ukuba intlantsi iyakucima kwaye ixhase ingcinga yokuba oku kuqhelekile, kwaye akukho nto sinokuyenza ngayo. Ke, xa oko kunesithukuthezi kakhulu ukuba kunganyamezelwa, abantu bayabushiya ubudlelwane. Kwaye kuluntu lwanamhlanje, ukushiya umtshato kulula kunakuqala.
Musa ukuzinza 'ngesiqhelo
Ndihlala ndikhumbuza izibini ukuba umtshato "oqhelekileyo" awumkhulu kangako, kwaye awusoloko uhlala. Ukuzibekela impumelelo, kuya kufuneka ujonge ngcono kunesiqhelo. Ungoyiki ukusebenza nzima xa kusiza kuni nobabini, kodwa musani ukuzilungiselela nako. Funa ukucetyiswa ngaphambi komtshato okanye ukutyebisa izibini, yiya kugqirha wezesondo, ukuya kwiingcebiso ngezibini, kumasifundisane, okanye ekubuyeni. Yenza owakho umsebenzi wokukhula kunye nokuphilisa. (Hayi, sonke sinemithwalo esiyizisa kubudlelwane bethu!)
Ngaphezu kwako konke, musa ukuyeka. Nokuba umtshato wakho uneengxaki zawo, uya kuphinda uvele, ngakumbi ukuba uyayikhumbula imfihlo yam-yokuba le mingeni zizipho, izibonelelo kunye namathuba okukhula. Ke njengokuba nikhetha omnye nomnye ngomhla wakho womtshato, themba ukuba wenze ukhetho olufanelekileyo. Emva koko, khetha kwakhona, yonke imihla, indlela enithandana ngayo, kwaye ukhethe omnye komnye ngakumbi xa lo mtshato ucela umngeni kuwe ukuba ukhule. Khumbula, ukutshata yinto enkulu-enkulu, intle, intle, into ekhulisa abantu.