Umxholo
- Kuthetha ntoni ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwane?
- Ngaba ubudlelwane ukungaqiniseki kuyinto eqhelekileyo?
- Yintoni ebangela ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane?
- Iindlela ezili-15 zokuhlangabezana nokungaqiniseki kubudlelwane
- 1. Nxibelelana ngokucacileyo
- Nika iimfuno zakho zolawulo
- 3. Nxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho
- 4. Kuphephe ukugxeka iqabane lakho
- 5. Yiba nenxaxheba ngakumbi neqabane lakho
- 6. Zama ukufunda ulwimi lothando lweqabane lakho
- 7. Ziqhelanise nokuzikhathalela
- 8. Yeka izinto ozilindele kakhulu
- 9. Vavanya ukuba zivela phi iimvakalelo zokungaqiniseki
- 10. Yamkela ukuba ayizizo zonke ubudlelwane obusebenzayo
- 11. Musa ukubeka onke amaqanda akho kwingobozi enye
- 12. Lungisa uloyiko lwakho
- 13. Yiba nesisa ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho
- 14. Bhenela komnye umntu ukuze ufumane inkxaso
- 15. Cinga ukuba iimvakalelo zakho ziiflegi ezibomvu
- Isiphelo
Ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane kunokubangela iimvakalelo zoxinzelelo. Usenokungazi ukuba umi phi kunye nomnye wakho obalulekileyo, kwaye unokuhlala uzibuza ukuba baziva njani ngawe.
Ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwane kunokukhokelela ekubeni ubuze ukuba ingaba ulwalamano lwakho lulungile na kuwe kwaye ufuna ukuba kunye nolunye olubalulekileyo. Ngelishwa, ukungaqiniseki malunga nobudlelwane kunokukhokelela ekubeni utyhalele kude amaqabane akho kuba ungaziva unesidingo sokuzikhusela ekwenzakalisweni.
Ukuba ujongene nobudlelwane bokungaqiniseki, ungathatha amanyathelo okulawula le meko kwaye uzive ukhululeke ngakumbi ngokufanelekileyo.
Ukusebenza ngokungaqiniseki kobudlelwane nako kunokukunceda ukuba ubone ukuba ingaba ubudlelwane benzelwe ukujamelana neenkqwithela ojamelene nazo okanye ukuba ayisiyiyo imatriki efanelekileyo kuwe.
Kuthetha ntoni ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwane?
Ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane kungachazwa njengombuso apho uneemvakalelo ezixubeneyo.
Kwelinye icala, unokuziva ukuba unolwalamano olwanelisayo kunye nonxibelelwano olusondeleyo neqabane lakho. Ngokwahlukileyo, kwelinye icala, awunakuqiniseka ukuba enye into ebalulekileyo kuwe okanye unomdla wokuba kunye nawe ixesha elide.
Usenokubuza nokuba ubudlelwane bulungile na kwaye nokuba wonwabile kunye nomnye obalulekileyo. Ukongeza, unokuba nexhala lokuba ubudlelwane buza kuya phi kwixa elizayo, nokuba buza kuhlala na okanye hayi, kwaye nokuba iqabane lakho likukhathalele na.
Ukungaqiniseki nako kunokuba luhlobo lokungaqiniseki malunga nolwalamano. Unokuziva ukuba iqabane lakho linomdla kwabanye abantu okanye kumda wokukushiya.
Ukungaqiniseki kunokukhokelela ekubeni ube ngothanda kakhulu kwaye uhlalutye lonke unxibelelwano onalo nomnye obalulekileyo ngenxa yokuba ungaqinisekanga ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Uzama ukulawula ngakumbi ubudlelwane.
Ngaba ubudlelwane ukungaqiniseki kuyinto eqhelekileyo?
Sonke besinovalo malunga nolwalamano lwethu amaxesha ngamaxesha. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, uninzi lwethu lufuna ukuhlala phantsi kubudlelwane obonwabileyo, obunempumelelo, kwaye ukoyika ukwenzakaliswa kunokusikhokelela ekubeni sibuze ukuba ingaba umntu esinaye uzibophelele na kuthi.
Oko kuthethiweyo, inqanaba lokungaqiniseki kubudlelwane li-avareji. Awunakho ukulawula intliziyo yomnye umntu okanye uqiniseke ngendlela abaza kwenza ngayo nakweyiphi na imeko, ukuze uzive ungaqinisekanga ngamanye amaxesha.
Ngapha koko, ubomi buhlala butshintsha, nokuyinto onokuqiniseka ngayo nangawuphi na umzuzu. Awunakho ukuqikelela ukuba yeyiphi na imiqobo eya kudibana nawe kunye nezinye ezibalulekileyo kwixesha elizayo, kwaye awunakho ukuqikelela ukuba ubudlelwane buza kudlala njani ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Ukunikwa kwezi nyaniso, ukungaqiniseki okanye ukungaqiniseki malunga nobudlelwane yinxalenye yobomi. Ngelixa inqanaba lokungaqiniseki lisiko kwaye kulindelwe, into engaqhelekanga kuxa unokungaqiniseki okuninzi kangangokuba awunakho ukuphuhlisa unxibelelwano nabantu.
Ukuba uneemvakalelo ezinamandla kangaka zokungaqiniseki, uhlala utyhala amaqabane amatsha kude okanye ufumane ukuba utyiwa lixhala kubudlelwane bakho. Kukho ingxaki ekhoyo, enje ngengxaki engasonjululwanga ebuntwaneni okanye kubudlelwane obudlulileyo, obuzisa etafileni.
Yintoni ebangela ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane?
Ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane kuyinxalenye yempendulo yendalo evela kumnqweno wethu wokuzikhusela.
Uninzi lwabantu lujolise kakhulu ekufezekiseni ubudlelwane obunempumelelo kangangokuba banexhala kubudlelwane, njengoko behlala bexhalabile ukuba ulwalamano lwabo lwangoku luya kusilela. Abasayi kuze bamfumane “omnye.”
Kwezinye iimeko, ubudlelwane bokungaqiniseki bunokugqithisa kwaye buvela kukungazithembi okukhulu. Umzekelo, abanye abantu banokubambelela ngokungakhuselekanga, okunokubangela uloyiko lokushiywa kunye nemvakalelo yokuba ubudlelwane bumiselwe ukungaphumeleli nangaliphi na ixesha umba omncinci ozibonisayo.
Uhlobo lokuncamathisela olungakhuselekanga lunokuphuhla ngenxa yokuphathwa gadalala kwabantwana kunye nokungakhathalelwa okanye ukukhathalelwa okungahambelaniyo okuvela kubazali okanye kwabanye abalondolozi ebuntwaneni.
Ukungaqiniseki kunokubangelwa nakweziphi na ezi zinto zilandelayo:
- Uyaqonda ukuba iqabane lakho alikuxhasi.
- Iqabane lakho liziphatha ngeendlela ongazithandiyo.
- Kukho umahluko ophambili phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho.
- Unokuba nemicimbi, njengokulindela okungenakwenzeka, oza nayo etafileni.
Iindlela ezili-15 zokuhlangabezana nokungaqiniseki kubudlelwane
Ukuziva uloyiko lokungaqiniseki kunokulindeleka kubudlelwane, ubuncinci ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba, kodwa ukuba noxinzelelo olujikeleze imvakalelo yokungaqiniseki kunokuba yingxaki.
Ukuba ufumana ukungaqiniseki rhoqo kubudlelwane, jonga ezi ndlela zilandelayo zokujongana nokungaqiniseki kubudlelwane:
1. Nxibelelana ngokucacileyo
Ukuba ufumana ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane, thatha ixesha lokunxibelelana noloyiko kwiqabane lakho.
Kungenzeka ukuba iimvakalelo zoxinzelelo zisuka nje kukungaqondani okunokusonjululwa ngengxoxo. Ukuba uyazifihla iimvakalelo zakho, unokwakha ingqumbo, kwaye ingxaki ayinakuze isonjululwe.
Nika iimfuno zakho zolawulo
Ngamanye amaxesha ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane kunokuba mandundu yimfuno yolawulo. Ukunikezela ngemfuno yokulawula kunokukunceda ujongane nezinye zezi mvakalelo.
Ukuba uvumela izinto zenzeke ngokwendalo, unokufumanisa ukuba ezinye zexhala lakho liyaphela.
3. Nxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho
Kwezinye iimeko, ubudlelwane bokungaqiniseki bunokuvela kubunzima bokuchonga iimvakalelo zakho zokwenyani, kwaye ungasombulula ukungaqiniseki ukuba ungcono ekuchongeni indlela oziva ngayo.
Mhlawumbi uziva ubuhlungu ngento ethile, okanye mhlawumbi uziva uxinzelelo kuba umsindo uyanda.
Rhoqo, iimvakalelo zinxulunyaniswa novakalelo lwasemzimbeni, kwaye uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba abantu abanoxinzelelo banokuzabalaza ekuchongeni ezi mvakalelo zomzimba.
Ukuba uziva ungaqinisekanga ngolwalamano lwakho, unokucinga ukuba ikho enye into eyenzekayo.
4. Kuphephe ukugxeka iqabane lakho
Xa uziva ungaqinisekanga kubudlelwane, unokufaka iimvakalelo zakho kwiqabane lakho kwaye ubatyhole ngezinto ezithile. Oku kuqhuba umda phakathi kwakho nobabini kwaye kukwenza uzive ungaqinisekanga ngakumbi.
Kuphephe ukuxelela iqabane lakho, "Awusoze undihoye!" okanye ukwenza isityholo ngathi, "Uhlala ungazihoyi iimvakalelo zam!" Endaweni yoko sebenzisa "mna iingxelo."
Umzekelo, ungabelana ngesivakalelo esithi, "Ndivakalelwa ngokungathi indlela endivakalelwa ngayo ayamkelwanga mva nje."
5. Yiba nenxaxheba ngakumbi neqabane lakho
Njengokuba ubudlelwane buqhubela phambili, amaqabane ngokwendalo angaqala ukwahlukana njengoko uchulumanco lobudlelwane obutsha luphela.
Ukuba uzibona uhlala usenza izicwangciso ngaphandle kweqabane lakho okanye usilele ukuzibandakanya kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, isenokuba lixesha lokwenza utshintsho.
Ukuzibandakanya ngakumbi kunokucima ezinye zeemvakalelo zokungaqiniseki onazo. Bameme ukuba basebenze kunye nawe, beze esidlweni kunye nabahlobo bakho, okanye uzame umdlalo omtsha kunye, kwaye uqiniseke ukuba ubagcina behlaziywa malunga nosuku lwakho.
6. Zama ukufunda ulwimi lothando lweqabane lakho
Ngamanye amaxesha ukunqunyulwa phakathi kwamaqabane kunye neemvakalelo zokungaqiniseki kubudlelwane kubangelwa ngabantu ababini abathetha iilwimi zothando ezahlukeneyo. UGqirha Gary Chapman uphuhlise iilwimi zothando ezintlanu, ezichaza iindlela abantu abakhetha ukuthandwa ngazo.
Umzekelo, ulwimi lwakho lothando lunokuba kukuchukumisa ngokwasemzimbeni, ngelixa iqabane lakho liziva lithandwa ngezenzo zenkonzo okanye ubenzela izinto ezintle.
Ukuba uzama ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho ngendlela engalunganga kubo, ukungaqiniseki kunokuvela kubudlelwane. Zama ukufunda ngolwimi oluthandwa liqabane lakho, ukuze nibe nakho ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zabanye ngcono kwaye nisuse ukungaqiniseki.
7. Ziqhelanise nokuzikhathalela
Ngamanye amaxesha abantu baxhomekeka kakhulu kumaqabane abo kangangokuba babalindele ukuba baya kuhlangabezana nazo zonke iimfuno zabo.
Ukuba uvumela lonke ulonwabo lwakho luxhomekeke kwiqabane lakho, kuyindalo ukuba uzive ungaqinisekanga ngamanye amaxesha kuba akukho mntu mnye onokuhlangabezana nazo zonke iimfuno zakho okanye akwenze wonwabe nge-100% ngexesha.
Ukuthatha ixesha lokuziqhelanisa nokuzikhathalela kunokukwenza uzive ungcono ngawe kwaye wandise ukuzithemba kwakho kubudlelwane.
Ukwazi ngakumbi ngendlela yokuziqhelanisa nokuzikhathalela, bukela le vidiyo:
8. Yeka izinto ozilindele kakhulu
Ukuba ubamba iqabane lakho kwimigangatho engenakwenzeka, amathuba okuba akuphoxe amaxesha ngamaxesha, ekhokelela ekubeni uzibuze, "Kutheni ndithandabuza ubudlelwane bam?"
Yeka ukulindela ukugqibelela kwiqabane lakho kwaye ubamkele ukuba bangobani, kwaye uya kufumanisa ukuba ukujongana nokungaqiniseki kunye noxinzelelo kuya kuba lula.
9. Vavanya ukuba zivela phi iimvakalelo zokungaqiniseki
Ngamanye amaxesha unokuziva ungaqinisekanga kubudlelwane kuba iqabane lakho linemilinganiselo ebonakala yahluke mpela kweyakho.
Umzekelo, unokukhetha ishedyuli yomsebenzi o-9 ukuya ku-5 kunye nolwakhiwo olunikwa bubomi, ngelixa iqabane lakho lisenokuba lisebenza ekhaya kwaye liseta ishedyuli yabo ngokungaguquguquki okuncinci.
Ukuba kukho umahluko obalulekileyo phakathi kwakho okhokelele ekubeni uzive ungaqinisekanga malunga nobudlelwane bakho, vavanya ukuba ngaba ngabaphuli-mthetho okanye zizinto onokufikelela kuzo.
10. Yamkela ukuba ayizizo zonke ubudlelwane obusebenzayo
Kuya kufuneka uyeke ukukhathazeka malunga neemvakalelo zokungaqiniseki kwaye endaweni yoko ufunde ukuzamkela.
Yamkela ukuba ubudlelwane bunokungasebenzi, kwaye uqonde ukuba uyayenza okanye awuyenzi, ubomi buya kuqhubeka, kwaye usenakho ukufumana indlela yokonwaba.
11. Musa ukubeka onke amaqanda akho kwingobozi enye
Ukuba ucinga ukuba ufuna ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo ukuze wonwabe, cinga kwakhona. Ukuba ubeka lonke ulonwabo lwakho nokuba ulwalamano luyasebenza na okanye hayi, nayiphi na imiba eza kubakho iya kukhokelela kulwalamano lokungaqiniseki.
Endaweni yoko, yamkela ukuba ubudlelwane bakho ayisiyiyo kuphela into oya kuyo, kwaye ufunde ukufumana ulonwabo kwizinto ozithandayo, kubuhlobo nakwiminqweno yobomi.
12. Lungisa uloyiko lwakho
Sonke sinolwalamano oludlulileyo, ezinye zazo zinokubandakanya imithwalo enzima. Ukuba ufumana ukungaqiniseki okungapheliyo kubudlelwane, isenokuba lixesha lokuvavanya ukuba ngaba ezi
iimvakalelo zivela koyika ukwaliwa.
Lixesha lokuba kujongwane noloyiko, ngoko ke alungeni endleleni yobudlelwane obukhoyo ngoku.
13. Yiba nesisa ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho
Mhlawumbi ukungaqiniseki kwakho malunga nolwalamano kukhokelele ekubeni ushiye iqabane lakho kwaye unganiki kakhulu kubo. Ukuba kunjalo, zinike ixesha lokuba nesisa kubo.
Thetha phandle kunye nothando lwakho, kwaye ukulungele ukwenza izinto ukwenza ubomi babo bube lula. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni ukhule ngokwahlukeneyo kwaye uzive ungaqinisekanga ngakumbi.
14. Bhenela komnye umntu ukuze ufumane inkxaso
Ukuba uzibuza ukuba, "Ngaba ukuthandabuza kubudlelwane kuyinto eqhelekileyo?" usenokuya kumhlobo wakho ukuze nixoxe ngezinto ezinixhalabisayo.
Banokubonelela ngombono omtsha wokuba iimvakalelo zakho ziqhelekile okanye yinto enkulu ekufuneka isonjululwe. Kwiimeko apho ungakhange ubonakale ushukumisa iimvakalelo zakho zokungaqiniseki, unokufumana isibonelelo sokubona ugqirha esebenza ngeemvakalelo zakho.
15. Cinga ukuba iimvakalelo zakho ziiflegi ezibomvu
Ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane kungalindelwa, kodwa ukuba ufumana ukutshona usiva ukuba ulwalamano lwakho alulunganga, umzimba wakho unokuzama ukukuxwayisa ukuba ubudlelwane ayibobakho.
Umzekelo, ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uhlala ukhathazekile phakathi kweqabane lakho okanye usoyika ukuveza iimvakalelo zakho, unokuba nakho ngaphezulu kokungaqiniseki. Unokuba kwimeko enokuba yityhefu.
Ukungaqiniseki kwakho kunokuba ngenxa yeeflegi ezibomvu, ezinje ngezilumkiso zokuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemphefumlweni okanye ngokwasemzimbeni, kwimeko apho ukhetho lwakho olufanelekileyo lunokubuphelisa ubudlelwane.
Isiphelo
Ukuhlala phantsi neqabane lakho lobomi yinto ebaluleke kakhulu, ke kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba neemvakalelo zokungaqiniseki kubudlelwane.
Xa uziva uziva ungaqinisekanga, kubalulekile ukuba ucinge ngeemvakalelo zakho. Banokuphendula ngokwendalo kwiingxaki eziza phakathi kolwalamano, okanye zinokuba zivela kukungazithembi kwakho.
Nokuba kunjalo, kukho amanyathelo onokuwathatha ukukhupha iimvakalelo zakho zokungaqiniseki kwaye ubone ukuba ubudlelwane bulungile na kuwe.