Zeziphi iindidi zoMtsalane kwaye zisichaphazela njani?

Umbhali: John Stephens
Umhla Wokudalwa: 22 Eyomqungu 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 2 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Zeziphi iindidi zoMtsalane kwaye zisichaphazela njani? - I-Psychology
Zeziphi iindidi zoMtsalane kwaye zisichaphazela njani? - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Uninzi lwee-romantics luzabalazela olo lwalamano lufanelekileyo apho iqabane lidibana nebhokisi nganye encinci kuluhlu lokutshekisha ukwanelisa amanqanaba ahlukeneyo kunye neentlobo zokutsala. Kwihlabathi eligqibeleleyo, oko kunokwenzeka nje.

Kodwa umhlaba awenzelwe ukuba ugqibelele, kwaye ubuhlakani kufanele ukuba bungcolise, nkqu nezo zidibana nolona luhlu luluhlu. Ukuba siza kunyaniseka, akukho mntu ufuna ngokwenene ukugqibelela.

Ayisiyonyani kwaye ayonwabisi. Umtsalane yinto engacwangciswanga rhoqo, kwaye ayilandeli naluphi na uhlobo loluhlu. Endaweni yoko yenzeka xa uninzi lwethu lungalindelekanga nakwiimeko ezahlukeneyo.

Ukutsala umntu kunokubangela ubudlelwane obuhluke kakhulu kunoko unokucinga kwangaphambili ngesiphumo.

Abanye baya kuba ngamaqabane othando, abanye banokubangela ubuhlobo obuhle, kwaye abanye banokuhlala nje ngabantu oqhelene nabo abawela umendo wakho, nawe ujonge ngothando ngamaxesha athile. Yintoni eyenza utsaleleke emntwini - masifunde kunye.


Ukuchaza umtsalane

Umtsalane ngumdibaniso ongacacisiyo womntu ngamnye odibene nengqondo, iikhonsepthi zebhayoloji ngokwembono esesikweni. Akusoloko kukho inkcazo okanye into echazayo ukuba kutheni umntu omnye eziva etsala komnye okanye isizathu sokuba umntu abenobunzima bokujika iingcinga zakhe kude nomntu ekusenokwenzeka ukuba babedibene naye.

Yonke into ixhomekeke kakhulu, kungekho bantu babini banombono ofanayo ngokubhekisele kwinto emenza umntu abe nomtsalane kunye nezo mpawu zingazenziyo.

Amandla angaphaya kwamandla ethu xa kukho ukukhula okungachazwanga komnqweno, njenge, okanye umdla. Ekuphela kwento esinokuyenza kukulandela ukuze ubone apho isisa khona.

Yintoni i-psychology yomtsalane?

Xa uzama ukufumanisa ukuba kutheni sithandwa ngumntu okanye yintoni evusa umdla okanye inqanaba "elifana" nomntu othile, kubalulekile ukuba siqonde ukuba zeziphi izinto ezinefuthe ekuphenduleni; yintoni esenza sitsalwe ngabantu abathile.

Isayikholoji yomtsalane ifunda ngezizathu zokutsala kwethu kubantu abathile endaweni yabanye. Zininzi izinto ezinomtsalane, kubandakanya ukubonakala komzimba, ukufana, nokuba kufutshane.


Ngokwesiqhelo, umtsalane wothando uqala ngenxa yokufumana umntu onomtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni. Xa ucela umntu ukuba aqale ukwenza amadinga, abantu bahlala betsalwa ngabantu abatshatileyo abafumana benomtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni.

Ngokwentelekelelo ehambelanayo, uninzi lwabantu luza kukhetha amaqabane abakholelwa kuwo xa kuthelekiswa inqanaba labo leempawu ezibonakalayo kuba olo luvo ludlala indima ekufumaneni iqabane elithandanayo "kwiligi efanayo" njengabo.

Ubuhlobo kunokwenzeka ukuba buphuhle ngokusekwe kubume bendawo kuba abantu basondela ngakumbi kwabo babona rhoqo. Enye into ebangela umtsalane kukufana kobuhlanga, ubudala, umgangatho wentlalo, inkolo, imfundo kunye nobuntu.

Ayisiyoyonxibelelwano nje kuphela kodwa kunye nobuhlobo obutsha.

Nangona kunjalo, kukho ingcebiso yokuba izichasi ziyatsala kolu bambiswano kunye nobuhlobo. Oko ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka rhoqo kunabo baneempawu ezifanayo kuba unxibelelwano oluchaseneyo lunokubonisa umdla ngakumbi.


Zininzi ezinye izinto ezinokudlala indima, kodwa, kwakhona, yahlukile kumntu kumntu.

Iindidi zomtsalane zichaziwe

Ngokwesiqhelo, xa abantu bexoxa ngomtsalane, into yokuqala ethi qatha engqondweni kukuthandana okanye ukubhenela kwisini. Bambalwa abantu abaziyo ukuba zininzi iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zomtsalane, ezinye azinanto yakwenza nokuthandana.

Ngamanye amaxesha ungatsaleleka kwimbonakalo yomntu othile kodwa ungabi namdla kubo.

Ukufumana omnye umntu onomtsalane akufuneki kuthethe nantoni na ngaphandle kobuhlobo okanye nokuqhelana nje nomntu, ukuwela umendo wakho kube kanye ukudibana nje okufutshane.

Iindidi ezimbalwa zomtsalane zibandakanya:

1. Umtsalane ngobuhle

Ukufumana umntu onomtsalane ngobuhle kuthetha ukuba umntu ukhangeleka ngendlela ekhethekileyo kwimeko yodumo. Abanye abantu banokubhidanisa oku nomtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni.

Kodwa abantu abajonga umntu kolu didi abanayo iminqweno yokufikelela kumntu ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwesondo, ngaloo nto.

Umntu ngumntu omthandayo ngenkangeleko yakhe. Ubabonisa ukuba bayathandeka ukujongwa njengokuba unokuba yinto ebonakalayo. Oko akuthethi ukuba akunakubakho umtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwesondo ngokudibeneyo, kodwa oko akunjalo.

2. Umtsalane ngokweemvakalelo

Unokuziva unomdla kubantu abaninzi, nokuba ngabahlobo, usapho, okanye enye ebalulekileyo. Aba ngabantu onqwenela ukubakho nabo ngokweemvakalelo, oko kuthetha ukuba wabelana ngeengcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho kuwo onke amanqanaba.

Eli nqanaba lomtsalane liyimfuneko kulo naluphi na ulwalamano olusempilweni apho kuya kufuneka ukuba uninzi uvumele iqela lenkxaso elinamandla. Ukufumana umtsalane kwiimvakalelo kugcina lonke olu nxibelelwano, ngaphandle kokuthandana okanye ngenye indlela, luvulekile, luthembekile kwaye luchanekile.

3. Umtsalane ngokwesondo

Umtsalane wezesondo yeyona nto abantu abaninzi bacinga ngayo xa kutsalwa igama. Kufana nokubona umntu egumbini elinabantu abaninzi okanye abaleke aye esidlangalaleni aze atsaleleke kubo ngokwesondo.

Inokuba yimvakalelo oyifumana kunye neqabane kunye nomntu oqonda naye ukuba ufuna ukutshata. Ayikhawulelwanga kwaba bantu, nangona. Kuyenzeka kuye nawuphina umntu ekukho naye ukuzoba ukuba enze isondo okanye uchukumise umntu ngesondo.

Yintoni eyenza ukuba utsaleleke emntwini uya kwahluka kumntu ngamnye. Ingakhula okanye inciphise okanye itshintshe ngokupheleleyo kunangaphambili, kuxhomekeke kwimeko.

4. Umtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni

Umtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni okanye umtsalane wenyama ngumnqweno wokungqongwa ngabantu abathanda, abahloniphayo, nabaphatha ngokwasemzimbeni iimfuno zakho. Ngelixa oku kuqhelekileyo kwintsebenziswano yothando, akusoloko kunjalo.

Abanye abantu sibaphatha ngeendlela ezininzi ezingezizo ezesondo okanye ezenzelwe ukuthandana, kubandakanya abantwana bethu, abahlobo, okanye amalungu osapho kwangoko.

Abo ba-aromantic / asexual bakhulisa oku kutsala kuba bonwabela ukuchukumisa. Okwangoku, abantu abaxhomekekanga kwezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezilindelwe luluntu njengokucinga ngokubanzi, ukudala ukudideka kwabanye abantu.

Icandelo elibaluleke kakhulu, njengoko kuya kuhlala kunjalo, kukunxibelelana ukumisela imvume yomnye umntu phambi kwayo nayiphi na into onxibelelana nayo ukumisela iimvakalelo ngaphambi kokwenza izigqibo zakho ngokuzenzekelayo kunye nokufumana olo nxibelelwano lungachazwanga.

5. Ukutsala kwengqondo

Xa unxibelelana nabanye kweli nqanaba, ufumana ngaphezulu "kobuchopho" okanye, mhlawumbi, unxibelelwano olunomtsalane ngengqondo. Oko kunokuthetha ukuba uyakonwabela ukuchitha ixesha kunye nabo kuxoxwa ngezihloko ezahlukeneyo okanye okoko umntu ekwenza ukuba ujonge izinto kwizinto ezintsha, ezintsha nezicelomngeni.

Ngamanye amaxesha, abantu bafuna icandelo lobukrelekrele ukuze babe nothando okanye iimvakalelo, kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu oziva njalo. Wonke umntu ebomini bethu udlala indima eyahlukileyo kwaye azalisekise iimfuno ezizodwa.

6. Umtsalane wothando

Umntu onomtsalane othandana naye wahluke kwaphela ekutsaleleni umntu ngokwesondo, nangona ungaziva nganye nganye kwezi. Xa ufumana unxibelelwano lolu hlobo, ufuna ukuphuhlisa ubudlelwane nomnye umntu.

Unokufuna ukuthandana ngaphandle kwento yesini, kodwa ayizukuba bubuhlobo nje. Iimvakalelo ziya kuba kwinqanaba elinzulu ngakumbi kunelo kuba uya kube ujonge ukuthandana naye.

Xa kuziwa kumtsalane wothando kunye nomzimba, uya kufumanisa ukuba umtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni awubandakanyi ukuthandana. Abantu abaninzi bayakonwabela ukubanjwa ngokwasemzimbeni njengokuwola, ukuxhawulana izandla, ukumbambazela emqolo, kunye neentshukumo zomzimba ezahlukahlukeneyo nabahlobo kunye namalungu osapho angenanto yakwenza nothando.

Kubudlelwane bothando, ukuchukumisa kuya kuba ngaphezulu kobuhlobo nje. Abanye abantu banqabile, basenazo iimfuno zentlalo ezihlangatyezwa ngokulula ngokudibana kweplonic, kodwa akukho mfuneko yokuthandana, ukutshata, njalo njalo.

7. Umtsalane oqhelekileyo

Ukuphindaphinda komtsalane kukwabizwa ngokuba kukuthanda "ukuthanda," kukuphuhliswa komtsalane komnye umntu kuphela emva kokufumanisa ukuba loo mntu unothando okanye umtsalane kuwe.

Ngamanye amagama, "abantu bayathanda abo babathandayo."

4 Izinto ezinokuba nefuthe kwisayikholoji yomtsalane

Inzululwazi, ibhayoloji, isayikholoji, okanye mhlawumbi sinesandla esincinci ekutsaleni iliso laloo mntu sinethemba lokutsala. Kunokubakho incam okanye iqhinga (okanye amabini) esinokuwasebenzisa ukunceda isayikholoji yomtsalane isebenze ngomlingo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokutsala.

Makhe sijonge izinto ezimbalwa ezinokuba nefuthe ekubeni umntu othile ukunika ukujonga okwesibini.

1. Izilwanyana zasekhaya

Baninzi abathandi bezilwanyana emhlabeni. Abantu abaninzi baya kuthatha ithuba lokuma kwaye bathethe nomntu ohamba nenja xa bezilolonga.

Sisizathu esifanelekileyo sokudibana nomntu oziva utsalelekile kuye kodwa ungazi ukuba uza kanjani. Nje ukuba umntu adibane nawe kwaye abone ukuba kukho umtsalane esiphelweni sakho, baya kuba nethuba lokuphindisela.

2. Imiqondiso

Kukukhohlisa ukuba nawuphi na umntu omnye kufuneka enze inyathelo lokuqala. Ukuba unomtsalane, kukho imiqondiso onokuyinika ukwazisa omnye umntu.

Oko kunokubandakanya ukwandisa ixesha lokujonga, ukuvula ulwimi lwakho lomzimba ukubonisa ukwamkela kwakho ukuba bafuna ukwenza incoko, kunye nokuncuma okuncinci. Ukuba imiqondiso ayisebenzi, yithi molo.

Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba umntu utsalwa nguwe okanye akunjalo, nantsi imiqondiso okanye imiqondiso ekufuneka uyijongile.

3. Ncuma ngokuqaqambileyo!

Abantu bonwabela ngoncumo oluqaqambileyo, olunobubele, ukufumana isenzo sithandeka ngokukhethekileyo, ngaphandle kokuba kukho imigaqo ebekelwe bucala, ngakumbi eyamadoda neyabafazi, kubonakala ngathi.

Amadoda akufuneki avelise ubuninzi obuninzi, i-toothy grin endaweni yokukhetha ngaphezulu kwe-smirk, ngelixa abasetyhini kufuneka baphume bonke ngesibindi esikhulu (Julia Roberts-esque) isibane esibengezelayo.

4. Iimpawu zobuso

Iimpawu zobuso ezithile zitsalela abantu abathile kwabanye. Umzekelo, kunokubakho ulingano, okanye kungangumgangatho owahlukileyo okanye ongaqhelekanga njengempumlo egoso okanye amehlo amakhulu okanye uphawu oluhle lobuhle olwenza uphawu lokuma ngaphandle.

Ubuso obunomtsalane bulula kodwa umndilili, ngakumbi kuba obu buso "obuqhelekileyo" bunezinto ezahlukeneyo zofuzo.

Ngaba i-genetics yinto xa umisela umtsalane?

Kukho utyekelo lokutsalwa kwizinto ezifanayo. Leyo yinxalenye yesayikholoji yomtsalane, ukufana. Rhoqo, xa abantu bethelekiswa nezinto ezifana nobudala, imvelaphi, ubukrelekrele, inqanaba lentlalontle, njl., Siyatsaleleka kubo.

Kodwa kukwakho umbono wokuba abantu abafana nabantu esibathandayo njengomzali okanye utatomkhulu baya kubamba iso, kunye nabo banokubukeka okuqhelekileyo kwi-ex okanye kubahlobo onokuthi utsaleleke kubo kodwa hayi ngokwesondo okanye kwezothando.

Umntu ubangela impendulo engaqondakaliyo yokuqhelana okanye yokwamkelwa enomtsalane ngokwendalo.

Ii-FAQ

1. Zintoni izinto ezi-5 ezinomtsalane?

Apha ngezantsi kukho izinto ezintlanu ezinegalelo ekufumaneni umntu onomtsalane.

  • Ukuba kufutshane: ukusondela kwabantu ababini
  • Ukubuyisela: ukuthanda umntu kuba ekuthanda
  • Ukufana: abantu abaneempawu ezininzi ekwabelwana ngazo banomdla komnye nomnye
  • Ngokwasemzimbeniumtsalane: ukutsalwa ngumntu ngokubhekisele kwinkangeleko entle
  • Ukuziqhelanisa: ukubona umntu rhoqo.

2. Athini amanqanaba okutsala?

Kukho amanqanaba amathathu okutsala, achazwe njenge

  • Umtsalane kwinkangeleko yomzimba: Into yokuqala eyabonwa ngabanye kukubonakala kwangaphandle. Into malunga nendlela abajongeka ngayo iya kukuthimba. Oko kubandakanya indlela abanxiba ngayo, abaziphatha ngayo, kunye ne-brio yabo iyonke.
  • Umtsalane kubuntu: Ndiyithandile ireferensi kwaye ndiza kucaphula oko ndikufundileyo kule ngelixa ndiphanda. Oku kufana nokuthatha intlanganiso yokuqala okanye "ifoto emnyama nomhlophe uyigcwalise ngombala."

Uza kubona ukuba unayo i-chemistry ehambelana nomtsalane wakho. Rhoqo, umntu uya kufana. Okwangoku, zininzi izinto ezichaseneyo ezinomtsalane kuba enye isilela, enye inegalelo.

  • Umtsalane kubukrelekrele: Umtsalane okhulayo ngendlela abantu bacinga ngayo kwaye baguqule ezo ngcinga emagameni. Ukufunda izimvo zomntu othile kwizihloko ezahlukeneyo okanye iikhonsepthi, uya kuba neencoko ezininzi ezisempilweni ezikhokelela kweli nqanaba.

3. Yintoni ethandwa ngabantu basetyhini?

Kukho izinto ezahlukeneyo ezinokutsala abantu basetyhini, ezona zilungileyo zezi:

  • Ngaphandle kwengqondo yokuthuthuzela ngaphakathi kwakho: Ukuzithemba kubaluleke kakhulu ngokwazi iimpawu zakho eziphambili kwaye akukho loyiko ekujonganeni nobuthathaka bakho, kunye nokukwazi ukuzihlekisa ngendlela esempilweni.
  • Ukuzithemba kwinkangeleko yakho: Bonisa ukubonakala okufanelekileyo kunye ne-wardrobe ehambelana nenxalenye kwaye ulandele ngoku-odola isidlo esifanelekileyo sesidlo sangokuhlwa.
  • Thetha kakuhle ngale nto uyenzayo: Akukho mntu ufuna uNancy ongathandekiyo. Zama ukuwuthanda umsebenzi wakho, izinto ozithandayo, thetha ngezinto onomdla kuzo, thetha unomdla ngobomi bakho. Abasetyhini bafumana ezi zinto zinomtsalane.

4. Yintoni etsala indoda?

Ukutsala indoda nazi ezinye izinto umntu kufuneka azigcine engqondweni:

  • Yiba ungubani ngokuzithemba okukhulu: Iya kubonakala kwaye ingathandeki ukuba awuzithembi. Yazisa ngeempawu zakho ezintle kwaye wonwabe kunye nazo.

Ukuba unecala le-quirky okanye amanqaku angaqhelekanga, dlala kubo kuba

ezi zizinto eziza kutsalwa ngabantu.

  • Bamba apho ubukho, imeko yakho yangoku, kunye nalapho uceba ukuya khona: Umfazi oneenjongo, amabhongo, ukuzonwabisa uzisa ubumnandi ngobomi, kwaye loo charisma iyosulela, idala incoko edlamkileyo kunye nexesha elimnandi.
  • Sebenzisa ulwimi lomzimba oluqinisekileyo: Jongana naye emehlweni, uvule ulwimi lomzimba, kwaye ukuba izinto zihamba kakuhle, yiba nolwazelelo endaweni yokuthotywa ngumdla wakho kunye nomtsalane.

5. Ngaba abantu abathandana nabantu abathandana nabantu abangathandana nabathandana nabantu abathandanayo banokuziva benomdla komnye umntu?

Umntu we-asexual unokufumana ezimbalwa zeentlobo ezahlukeneyo zokutsala.

Kungenxa yokuba umntu akanamnqweno wesini oko akuthethi ukuba abanako ukukhuthazeka kwezinye iindawo zothando abazifumanayo.

Ukuqonda gwenxa okuqhelekileyo kukuba umtsalane ulingana ngesondo, kwaye ayiyonyani leyo.

6. Ngaba abantu abathandana nabantu ngokwesini baxela inkanuko yesini?

Umntu o-asexual ngokuqinisekileyo unokwabelana ngesondo, ngokuthe ngqo, kumqolomba, okanye kwisini.

Umtsalane ngokwesondo yinto enye nje yomtsalane. Umntu lowo akanawo umtsalane wesini, kwaye abanqweneli nokunxibelelana ngokwesondo. Ayithinteli nayiphi na enye yezinto ezinomtsalane.

Iingcinga zokugqibela

Iingcinga ezizenzekelayo ezithi qatha engqondweni xa umntu ethetha ngomtsalane zezesondo okanye ezothando. Oko kumiliselwe eluntwini. Akukho mntu uyithathela ingqalelo inyani yokuba zininzi iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zomtsalane ezinoxanduva lobuhlobo obahlukeneyo esibuphetheyo ebomini bethu.

Uninzi lwabantu luphumla ngombono wokuba kungcono ungafaki iilebheli ezininzi kwiimbono ezizodwa. Okwangoku, ukuqonda ukuba ingqondo isebenza njani kwaye kutheni isabela ngendlela esebenza ngayo ekugqibeleni ingasikhokelela kunxibelelwano olusempilweni nolonwabisayo.

Oko kwenza imeko eyomeleleyo yokuba kutheni sidinga la magama ahlukeneyo njengeentlobo zomtsalane.