Yabelana njani ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho

Umbhali: Peter Berry
Umhla Wokudalwa: 13 Eyekhala 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Yabelana njani ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho - I-Psychology
Yabelana njani ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Akuyomfihlo ukuba isiseko sobudlelwane obuphilileyo kunxibelelwano oluvulekileyo kunye nokuzimisela ukujonga isisombululo esisebenzela bobabini. Ukuba niyakufezekisa oko nobabini kufuneka wabelane ngeemvakalelo zakho kunye neengcinga zakho.

Akukho mntu ulindele ukuba ube yingcali kwezonxibelelwano, kodwa unqwenele ukuba ube ngcono kuyo, ekwabelaneni nasekumameleni. Sonke sinokubuphucula ubuchule bokuchaza iimvakalelo ngendlela esempilweni ukuba sizinikele kuyo.

Xa usabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho kwaye ukhuthaza iqabane lakho ukuba lenze okufanayo, linezibonelelo ezininzi kwimpumelelo yolwalamano kunye nokuqina.

Ngaphambi kokuba sabelane ngeengcebiso malunga nendlela yokubonisa ngakumbi kubudlelwane, masiphendule ukuba kutheni kufanelekile nokuba uzame ukufunda indlela yokwabelana ngeemvakalelo.

Kutheni le nto kufuneka uthethe ngeemvakalelo?

Bobabini abasetyhini kunye nabesilisa banokuba neentloni ekwabelaneni okanye bacinge ukuba babi ekuboniseni iimvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, uphononongo lubonisa ukuba umahluko omncinci wesini ukhona kubafazi ababonakalisa ngakumbi ngokwasemphefumlweni, ngakumbi kwiimvakalelo ezintle.


Nokuba ngubani kulwalamano olunobunzima bokuchaza iingcinga ngamazwi, esi sihloko kufuneka sijongiwe ngabo bobabini. Ngaphandle koko, ukunqongophala kobudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nemvakalelo yokunqanyulwa kunokuseta kwaye kuchaphazele ulwaneliseko lobuhlobo.

Uphononongo lubonise ukuba kwiimeko apho elinye iqabane likhathalela elinye, uxinzelelo lomongi luyehla kwaye impilo yabo iyaphucuka xa umamkeli elungele ukuveza iimvakalelo zangaphakathi.

Xa wabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho, iingcinga zakho, kunye neemvakalelo uvumela omnye umntu ukuba akwazi, okhathalayo, kunye nokubalulekileyo kuwe. Nangona ukuba sesichengeni kunye nokwamkelwa kuzisa umngcipheko othile weemvakalelo, imivuzo ilungile.

Ukuphendula ukuba kutheni kubalulekile ukuba semngciphekweni wokubonisa iimvakalelo kubudlelwane kufuneka sijonge kufutshane kwizibonelelo zokwabelana.

Izibonelelo zokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho

Ukuzimisela emngciphekweni wokuvezwa kunye nokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho kunqabile ukuba kube lula, kodwa ukuba uyazi ukuba ukunyaniseka malunga neemvakalelo zakho kuluncedo njani kwintlalontle yobudlelwane ungatshintsha ingqondo.


Unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo:

  • Unceda ukuqonda iqabane lakho ngakumbi
  • Ncokola ngakumbi kwaye ube nefuthe
  • Ukwanda kobudlelwane kunye nokuqina ngakumbi
  • Ukunyuka kwemilo
  • Ukuphucula ukuthembana kunye novelwano
  • Ukuphepha inzondo ukwakha
  • Ukwazi nokuhlonipha imida kulula
  • Ukubandezeleka okuncinci, kunye nokungonwabi
  • Ukuncipha kokuqina kweemvakalelo kunye nolawulo olungcono lweemvakalelo
  • Ukwehla kobundlongondlongo kunye nokuqonda ngokuchanekileyo kweemvakalelo
  • Ukuthintela izigqibo ezingalunganga zeqabane ngokubhekisele kwixabiso lakho (okt andilunganga ngokwaneleyo kubo; Akufuneki ndibaluleke kubo)

Iingcebiso ezili-15 malunga nendlela yokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho


1. Guqula iimvakalelo zakho

Iimvakalelo azilunganga okanye zimbi. Sifumana amava kuba baneenjongo. Ukuba babengenayo injongo yokuvela babengekhe babekho.

Iimvakalelo azisiyo ithumba, ngekhe uzinqumle kwaye uyeke ukuziva ngokupheleleyo. Ukuba ufuna ukujongana nabo ngcono kufuneka uwabone njengempendulo yendalo yomzimba wakho kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo.

2. Funda ngawe malunga neemvakalelo zakho

Ukuze ulawule ngcono iimvakalelo, kufuneka uzibuze ukuba "kutheni ndiziva ndinje ngalo mzuzu"? Yintoni i-trigger kwaye yintoni esengozini?

Iimvakalelo zinesitshixo sokuziqonda wena, amaxabiso kunye neenkolelo zakho ngcono. Xa wonwabile zazingqinisisiwe, kwaye xa ukhathazekile babesemngciphekweni okanye bangasebenzi.

Kulula ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho xa usazi into enabelana ngayo kwaye niyayiqonda. Umngcipheko ubonakala unciphile ngenxa yokuba ungazichazi iimvakalelo okokuqala phambi kwabo.

3. Sebenzisa amagama akho

Ukuba uzama ukufunda ukunxibelelana nelizwe lakho elingaphakathi ngakumbi, kuya kufuneka ukuba uyazibuza ukuba uza kuthetha njani ngeemvakalelo zakho. Okukhona uthetha ngokucacileyo xa uthetha ngazo, kokukhona kulula ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho. Uziva uzithembile kwaye ulawula. Ke, kunokwenzeka ukuba wabelane ngeemvakalelo zakho.

Qala ngokuchaza indlela oziva ngayo - ngomlomo okanye ngokubhala. Nantoni na ephumayo ilungile. Uyafunda.

Okukhona usenza oku, kokukhona usiba nobuchule ngakumbi kwaye kuthatha ixesha elincinci ukuqonda ukuba uziva njani. Esi sesinye sezitshixo zokufunda indlela yokuchaza iimvakalelo kwiqabane lakho.

Ukuba ufuna isikhokelo ngakumbi ngendlela yokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho, unokufumana uluhlu lwamagama aziva oza kuwasebenzisa njengokukhuthaza. Ukusebenza nomcebisi yenye indlela yokuphucula ukufunda nokubhala ngokweemvakalelo.

4. Yamkela iimvakalelo njengamava okudlula

Xa ufunda indlela yokubonisa iimvakalelo zakho unokuba nexhala lokuba ungathetha into ongenakuyibuyisa. Ukuba le yenye yeengxaki zakho, khumbula ukuba iimvakalelo ziyatshintsha.

Ungahlala uthembele ekusebenziseni amabinzana anje ngala "ngalo mzuzu", "akusoloko kunje, kodwa ngoku ndiyaziva" njengoko benokuphakamisa ubunzima bokwabelana emagxeni akho.

Ukuqonda iimvakalelo kuza kwaye kudlule kunokuzisa isiqabu. Oku akuthethi ukuba akufuneki wabelane ngeemvakalelo zakho. Ngokuchasene noko, kufanelekile ukuba kwabelane ngokulula kuba uyazi ukuba kungomzuzu wangoku, kwaye ungavumeli umbala wobudlelwane obupheleleyo okanye umntu.

5. Gcina ixesha nendawo

Ekufundeni ukubonisa iimvakalelo kubudlelwane ngakumbi, gcina ixesha engqondweni. Ukuba ukhetha umzuzu ongonelanga unokuziva ungafanelekanga kwaye ucinga ngempazamo ukuba iimvakalelo ziyingozi kulwalamano.

Xa umntu efuna ukwabelana ngento iqabane lakhe elinokuba nzima ukuyiva kubalulekile ukubuza ukuba leliphi ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha okanye ujonge ukuba bangazibophelela kwincoko ngoku.

Ngaphandle koko, banokuba bengenasithuba sokumamela kunye nokuva ingxelo, nokuba yeyokwakha kangakanani na.

6. Sukuhlehlisa ixesha elide kwaye ubhengeze ngokungakhathali

Nje ukuba unento oza kwabelana ngayo, sukulinda ixesha elide ukuyilungisa. Uya kuyakha engqondweni yakho. Njengoko ixesha lihamba iya kubonakala iyothusa kwaye kunzima ukuyibiza.

Xa uyazi ukuba ufuna ukwabelana ngantoni, ungalibazisi ukubuza iqabane lakho ukuba leliphi elona xesha lilungileyo. Luphephe uloyiko "lokufuna ukuthetha". Endaweni yoko, hamba uye kwinto engaqhelekanga kodwa esebenzayo "bendifuna ukuxoxa / ukwabelana ngengcinga / imvakalelo ebendinayo".

Rhoxisa incoko kuphela ukuba unomsindo kakhulu. Kwimeko enjalo, ngekhe ukwazi ukuchaza kwaye ulawule owabelana ngako, kwaye ngekhe ukulungele ukuva elinye icala.

7. Yenza indawo engenamgwebo

Akukho mntu uvula ukuba alindele isigwebo. Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ungathetha njani ngakumbi ekuvakaliseni iingcinga zakho, khangela impendulo ngengqondo evulekileyo.

Xa enye isabelana, zama ukunqanda ukuzikhusela okanye ukucaphuka. Oko kunokuthintela kuphela ukwabelana ngokuzayo.

Ukuba kulula, unganikezela ikona yendlu njengendawo "yokwabelana ngaphandle komgwebo".

Sebenzisa amagama athi “Ndi”

Ukuthintela ukubangela omnye umntu azikhusele, yeka ngokucacileyo "wena" iingxelo. Nangona unokubonakalisa indlela abaziphethe ngayo kunye neziphumo ohlangabezana nazo, jolisa kwindlela oziva ngayo ngayo.

Endaweni yokuthi "Undenza umsindo" xa u .. ", yithi" Ndiziva ndinomsindo xa u ... ". Oko kuguqula ukugxila kwisenzo siye kummandla wokubonakala komntu, ngaloo ndlela kuthintela ukungqubana okungafunekiyo.

Ukwenza ukuba isebenze ngakumbi, yahlulahlula ibe ngamacandelo ama-3:

  • Xela imvakalelo
  • Chaza isenzo esivelise imvakalelo
  • Cacisa ukuba kutheni isenzo sibangele ukuba uzive ngaloo ndlela.

Umzekelo:

'Indenze ndaziva ndonwabile kwaye ndinebhongo xa undazisa kubahlobo bakho njengeqabane lakho kuba iyandixelela ukuba ucinga ngathi sibalulekile.'

'Bendinomsindo kwaye ndibuhlungu xa ubusemva namhlanje kuba asichithi ixesha elininzi kunye kwaye ngale ndlela yacuthwa kancinci.'

Jonga kwakhona: Sebenzisa 'iingxelo zam' xa unxibelelana neqabane lakho.

9. Hlala kude "rhoqo" kwaye "ungaze"

Xa usenza ngokubanzi awushiye sithuba senye iimbono. Ukuba bahlala bengakhathali, kutheni kufuneka bazame ukukuva ngoku? Ukuba ufuna ukufikelela kwisiphumo sokuba iqabane lakho liqwalasele ngakumbi, kuthintele ukubabiza ngokuchaseneyo.

Endaweni yoko, yabelana ngendlela oziva ngayo xa imfuno yakho ingafezekiswanga kwaye waziva njani xa ibiyiyo. Inqaku lebhonasi ukuba uyenzile le nto kanye emva kokuba benze kanye le nto ubuyidinga njengoko usomeleza umzamo wabo ngokubancoma.

Lahla ulindelo lokuba bafunde ingqondo yakho

Uninzi lwethu lucinga uthando lokwenene kuxa singadingi magama ukuze sazi ukuba omnye ucinga ntoni. Ngelixa oku kumnandi ukuba nakho, kunqabile ukuba kufezekiswe kwimeko yexesha. Ngoba?

Xa sisilwa kunokwenzeka ukuba sitsibe kwizigqibo sikhangela ukuqiniseka nokhuseleko. Iziganeko ezicaphukisayo kunye neempikiswano neqabane zibangela uloyiko olunzulu kunye neepatheni zokucinga. Oko kukuthi, kunokwenzeka ukuba senze iimpazamo ekucingeni ukuba omnye ucinga ntoni.

Gxila ekusebenziseni amagama akho kwaye ushiye uqikelelo kunye nokufunda kwengqondo xa uthenga izipho.

11. Vulela iinjongo zakho

Ukuba ufuna ukubonisa ngakumbi kubudlelwane, sukukhohlisa. Ukuba ubabuza malunga neemvakalelo zabo kuba une-ajenda okanye ufuna ukufumana into, beka phambili ngayo. Baya kubona ngawe kwaye kwixesha elizayo baya kuba madolw 'anzima ukwabelana.

Ukuba ufuna ukwazi ukuba baziva njani ngesihloko okanye wena, babuze, kodwa ungakufihli ngasemva kwenkxalabo yokwenene malunga nokuba sempilweni kwabo. Kuyafana xa usabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho.

12. Jongana noxinzelelo okanye okulindelekileyo kuqala

Esinye sezizathu zokuba kutheni kulula ukuba nenxaxheba kwiofisi yonyango kungenxa yokuba yimeko yokungathathi hlangothi. Akukho xinzelelo lokuba uthethe into elungileyo okanye ulindelo olufihlwe ngasemva "unjani".

Ukuba uziva unyanzelekile ukuba wabelane ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho, jongana kuqala nendlela ekuziva ngayo. Incoko isuka "ingafuni ukwabelana" iye "kwinto efunekayo ukuze sabelane ngokukhululekileyo". Oku kukhuthaza unxibelelwano kunye nokuvuleleka.

13. Zithembe iinjongo ezintle zeqabane lakho

Ukucinga ukuba iqabane lakho ngumntu okhathalayo ofuna ukwenza imali kubudlelwane, unokufumana inzuzo ngokukhumbula ukuba xa uziva usoyika ukwaba.

Cinga ngeemeko xa wabelana ngazo kwaye konke kwahamba kakuhle. Khumbula iimeko apho babonisa khona ukuba babakhathalele kangakanani kwaye kunokukunceda ukuba uvule ngeli xesha.

14. Zilungiselele ukuva ingxelo

Unxibelelwano luyindlela emibini. Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho, kukho ithuba eliphezulu lokuba iqabane lakho liya kuba nempendulo abafuna ukuyabelana nawe ngayo.

Ukuba uyayiqonda yonke into oyifunayo, ngeli xesha, kukuba bakuve ngaphandle kwaye bayeke ukuphendula, buza ngqo. Qiniseka ukuba useta ixesha elithile kamva ukuze babelane ngokuvela kwabo kwaye ubamamele ngeli xesha.

15. Yenze ibe yinto yesiqhelo

Okukhona uziqhelanisa ngcono kokukhona uya kuba. Ke ngoko, cwangcisa ixesha kunye neqabane lakho, rhoqo, apho unokungena khona. Ukuba nexesha elimiselwe kwangaphambili kunokunciphisa uxinzelelo lokucwangcisa ixesha kunye nendawo.

Ngapha koko, ukubonakalisa nokwabelana rhoqo kunceda ukuba ube nokuzithemba ngakumbi. Oko, kuthi, kuncede kufikelele ekuqondeni ezona mvakalelo ziphantsi ekunzima ngakumbi ukufikelela kuzo.

Umzekelo, xa unomsindo, awusoloko ubona ukuba ngaphantsi unxunguphele, wenzakele, okanye uneentloni.

Okukhona ubonakalisa ukuba kuya kusiba lula ngakumbi ukuchonga iimvakalelo ezinzulu eziqhuba indlela esiziphatha ngayo kunye nezigqibo njengoko zinjalo ngaphezulu.

Ngaba kufuneka wabelane ngayo yonke into neqabane lakho?

Lonke eli nqaku siye safumanisa ukuba ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo, iimvakalelo kunye namava kubalulekile kulwalamano lwentlalo nakumaqabane.

Ke, ngaba ufanele wabelane ngayo yonke into neqabane lakho? Ewe nangona ukungafihli kunye nokwabelana kwakha ukuthembana kunye nokusondelelana kubudlelwane, okuninzi kunokuba nefuthe elichaseneyo.

Uluhlu luluhlu lweendlela zokugubungela ngaphezulu kunokuba nefuthe elibi:

  • Ukuphulukana nokuzimela

Enye yezona nkxalabo ziphambili eziza nokwabelana kakhulu ngawe kukuzisola ngokungabuphi ubomi obuhlala ubufuna kuba uzitya ngokuba "uyinto yonke kunye nomntu wonke" kunye neqabane lakho.

  • Ukulindela okungekho ngqiqweni

Xa usabelana neemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho uxhomekeke kakhulu kubo. Ziba zizulu lakho elikhuselekileyo abaleke ngalo lonke ixesha unamava amatsha.

Ukuziphatha okunjalo kungakhokelela ekubeni ulindele ukuba iqabane lakho lihlale lifumaneka xa uziva ufuna ukwabelana kunye nokwenza ukuba iqabane lakho lizive lisindwa ngumthwalo.

  • Ukuphulukana nendawo yakho

Isidingo esithe rhoqo sokwabelana kunye nolindelo olungelolokwenyani oluvela kwiqabane lakho lokuba ube ngumphulaphuli olungileyo lunokulingene iqabane lakho kwaye libenze bazive ngathi baphulukana nendawo yabo.

  • Isidingo sokuqinisekiswa

Ukwabelana nabantu bakho bangaphakathi kungonwaba kakhulu ngakumbi kwiqabane elithandanayo, nangona kunjalo, uluvo olubi okanye ingcebiso engathandekiyo evela kwiqabane lakho inokutyhala kumjikelo wokufuna ukuqinisekiswa kubo.

Isiphelo: Ukwabelana kukhathalelo

Iimvakalelo ziqhelekile kwaye zisempilweni. Sonke sinamava kwaye kuhlala kukho isizathu esivakalayo esiziva. Okukhona sibonakalisa kwaye sabelana ngcono ngokuya sichonga zombini iimvakalelo kunye nezizathu.

Ukuba uyoyika ukuba sesichengeni kwaye uvule, thetha neqabane lakho malunga nalo. Fumana ixesha kunye nendawo apho unokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kwesigwebo.

Isakhono sonxibelelwano yinto esikhulisayo ngokuthetha nokumamela. Ayikho enye indlela yokuyijikeleza. Ukuba silinde omnye ukuba afunde ingqondo yethu, siphoswa lithuba lokuziva ngcono ngoku kwaye siphucule ubudlelwane bethu.

Ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho kubalulekile kwimpilo yolwalamano lwakho. Ubudlelwane bexesha elide obonwabisayo buhlala emagxeni okuthatha umngcipheko wokuvuleka kunye nokukhula kunye ngokuvuleka.